Charlaine Harris Quotes & Sayings

People fidget. They are compelled to look engaged in an activity, or purposeful. Vampires can just occupy space without feeling obliged to justify it. — Charlaine Harris

Half of me (pathetically) wanted to let him know I'd kept the faith; half of me wanted to get in the toolshed and sharpen me some stakes. — Charlaine Harris

Well, that's certainly ... adequate," I told him, burying my face in his chest. I knew immediately I'd picked the wrong word.
"Adequate?" He took my hand, placed it on the part in question. It immediately began to stir. He moved my hand on it, and I obligingly circled it with my fingers. "This is adequate?"
"Maybe I should have said it's a gracious plenty?"
"A gracious plenty. I like that," he said. — Charlaine Harris

I'll show up at every classroom open house and teacher conference,' she said, now in a voice that was almost frightening in its intensity. 'I'll bake brownies. My child will have new clothes. Her shoes will fit. She'll get her shots, and she'll get her braces. We'll start a college fund next week. I'll tell her I love her every damn day.'
If that wasn't a great plan for being a good mother, I couldn't imagine what a better one could be. — Charlaine Harris

Arelene's middle name was tolerance, mostly because she was too easygoing to take a moral stance. — Charlaine Harris

When's your next doctor's appointment?" "In your last month, you go every week," Lynn said knowledgeably. "I'm due to go back in tomorrow. Maybe he'll tell me something. — Charlaine Harris

I had never realized a woman could have to struggle to keep her hands off a man, but here I was, digging my nails into my palms, staring at the inside of my eyelids as though I could maybe see through them if I peered hard enough. — Charlaine Harris

Vampires, bringing America together! — Charlaine Harris

If it pleases you and you can write at all, it's gonna please somebody else. — Charlaine Harris

One of the most wonderful, and the most appalling, things about Eric loving me was that he didn't give a shit about anyone else. — Charlaine Harris

I was embarrased, horrified and absolutely ready to jump him! — Charlaine Harris

Not a creature was stirring, not even an elf. — Charlaine Harris

She's a whore, that one, Pam said. — Charlaine Harris

The fundamentalists were equally stymied. "We were worried about Adam and Steve," a Baptist minister said. "Should we have been more worried about Rover and Fluffy? — Charlaine Harris

Sookie: Hey, our hair's the same color.
Eric: Sure is, Girlfriend. — Charlaine Harris

Bring it on, fur-ass! — Charlaine Harris

Men! Dead or alive, they could be exactly the same. — Charlaine Harris

Oklahoma is very beautiful, and Eric loves beauty, but he already has that in you. — Charlaine Harris

Eric followed Vlad Tepes's stubby finger, identifying me as the future Happy Meal. Then he stared at Dracula, looking up from his kneeling position. I couldn't read his face at all, and I felt a stirring of fear. What would Charlie Brown have done if the Great Pumpkin wanted to eat the little red-haired girl? — Charlaine Harris

My pride had risen up and whopped me in the face. I don't lose my temper a lot, but when I do, I make a good job of it. — Charlaine Harris

I've often wished when I started a book I knew what was going to happen. I talked to writers who write 80-page outlines, and I'm just in awe of that. — Charlaine Harris

I dipped into his brain. He wasn't happy that I wasn't wearing a bra, because my boobs distracted him. He was thinking I was a bit too curvy for his taste. He was thinking he'd better not think about me that way anymore. He was missing his wife. — Charlaine Harris

If I was getting harder, it was in response to the world around me. — Charlaine Harris

At the time, I thought if Stan Davis wanted to live on Green Valley Road, or in the Hundred-Acre Wood, that was his right as an American — Charlaine Harris

The idea that family would not harm you was a stupid assumption of the first order. — Charlaine Harris

Somewhere, somewhere in this house, lurked a problem. For some reason, Jane's legacy wasn't entirely benevolent. — Charlaine Harris

Sookie: Is Eric around?"
Pam: "He is enthralling the vermin, — Charlaine Harris

Well, they got married. No one pulled a Jane Eyre ... — Charlaine Harris

My brother, Jason, came into the bar, then, and sauntered over to give me a hug. He knows that women like a man who's good to his family and also kind to the disabled, so hugging me is a double whammy of recommendation. — Charlaine Harris

Eric, what are you doing?"
"Snuggling."
"Get out of my bed!"
-Sookie Stackhouse, Eric Northman — Charlaine Harris

Maybe I felt like I'd come so close to forever-death that I'd better step back and take a look at my life. Maybe I didn't like a lot of what I'd done with it so far. — Charlaine Harris

Don't you just hate nights like that, when you think over every mistake you've made, every hurt you've received, every bit of meanness you've dealt out? There's no profit in it, no point to it, and you need sleep. — Charlaine Harris

Well, if I'm not doing it for him, then I'm doing it for me, so I can feel proud. — Charlaine Harris

The world seemed a bad and terrible place, all its denizens suspect, and I the lamb
wandering through the valley of death with a bell around my neck. — Charlaine Harris

The note, which had been written on one of the pads I kept around for grocery lists, said, "My lover, I came in too close to dawn to wake you, though I was tempted. Your house is full of strange men. A fairy upstairs and a little child downstairs- but as long as there's not one in my lady's chamber, I can stand it". — Charlaine Harris

If I was so malicious or off-color or just plain wrongheaded that I had to constantly censor my conversation with a minister, then I needed the experience anyway. — Charlaine Harris

what are you?" he asked. "I'm a waitress. — Charlaine Harris

Those things don't matter. You had no control over your past, — Charlaine Harris

When you've been really beaten, you realize that you are just an envelope of skin, an easily penetrated envelope that holds together a lot of fluids and some rigid structures, which in their turn can simply be broken and invaded. — Charlaine Harris

If weeds could flourish with such vigor, may I could, too. — Charlaine Harris

Lots of kids in our neck of the woods call their grandfathers Papaw — Charlaine Harris

It was hard to have a good crisis when real life kept asking to be lived. — Charlaine Harris

You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. — Charlaine Harris

Niall had been able to mask the odor of fairy from Eric in the restaurant, but I saw from the flare of Eric's nostrils that the intoxicating scent clung to me. Eric's eyes closed in ecstasy, and he actually licked his lips. I felt like a T-bone just out of reach of a hungry dog.
"Snap out of it," I said. I wasn't in the mood.
With a huge effort, Eric reigned himself in. "When you smell like that," he said, "I just wanna fuck you and bite you and rub myself all over you. — Charlaine Harris

Oh, you were the dessert. The Rattrays were the meal. — Charlaine Harris

The worst thing about sleepless nights was the feeling of running in a hamster cage, at least mentally. The same thoughts, over and over . . . — Charlaine Harris

Snow, here?" Eric was as delighted as a child. "I love snow!"
Why was I not surprised?
"Maybe we will get snowed in together," he said suggestively, waggling his blond eyebrows. — Charlaine Harris

I love him, I said, but even to my own ears
I didn't sound happy about it. — Charlaine Harris

Just what I needed, another psycho bitch after me. Hadn't the Weres pretty much cornered that market? — Charlaine Harris

When I thought of the ferocity and strength of the fairy race, and the fact that it took all I had to open the damn blister pack and extricate the water pistols, my chosen method of defense seemed ludicrous. I'd be armed with a plastic water pistol and a trowel. — Charlaine Harris

Let go," he advised me, and I loosened my grip on his hands. "No, not of me," he said, smiling. "You can hold on to me as long as you want. Let go of the pain, Sookie. Let go. You need to drift away."
It was the first time I had relinquished my will to someone else. As I looked at him, it became easy, and I retreated from the suffering and uncertainty of this strange place. — Charlaine Harris

It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal. — Charlaine Harris

[Eric:] "I'm hoping that the more you see me, the more I'll grow on you."
[Sookie:] "Like a fungus? — Charlaine Harris

Just because one of Arlene's husbands was a murderer is no reason for me to be ugly — Charlaine Harris

I gripped the stapler even harder and felt like a fool planning to battle a crazy man with a stapler that even, I suddenly remembered, contained no staples. Well, strike that line of defense. — Charlaine Harris

You think that it's not magic that keeps you alive? Just 'cause you understand the mechanics of how something works, doesn't make it any less of a miracle. Which is just another word for magic. We're all kept alive by magic, Sookie. My magic's just a little different from yours, that's all. — Charlaine Harris

Not since the dark days of the Twilight franchise had it been so trendy to be dead. — Charlaine Harris

Eric appeared to be counting my eyelashes. I tried to keep my gaze on my hands, to indicate modesty. I felt power tweaks kind of flow over me and had an uneasy feeling Eric was trying to influence me. I risked a quick peek, and sure enough he was looking at me expectantly. Was I supposed to pull off my dress? Bark like a dog? Kick Bill in the shins? Shit. — Charlaine Harris

There's no way you can kill someone and get to the other side of the experience unchanged. — Charlaine Harris

Oh, no, I love going into a pen of lions wearing a sign that says Edible Lamb.
Manfred — Charlaine Harris

Weird doesn't equal morally bankrupt. — Charlaine Harris

Suddenly the blood tasted good, salty, the stuff of life. — Charlaine Harris

As exits go, that's a good one. It was pretty hard to have the last word with a vampire. — Charlaine Harris

I thought in over a thousand years I'd seen all there was to see. — Charlaine Harris

No thanks," I said, giving a sigh of repletion. "That was so good. — Charlaine Harris

The vampire changed the music from some heavy metal thing to Sarah Mc-Lachlan's "Good Enough," which is slow, but with a beat. — Charlaine Harris

You won't find a vampire in a Ford Fiesta — Charlaine Harris

If I have to choose between you and me - I like me better. — Charlaine Harris

The full moon symbol on my calendar no longer seemed to be a period marking the end of something, but just another way of counting time. — Charlaine Harris

I owed her big-time. Jane had left me the house and the money and the skull. I — Charlaine Harris

Food that walked and talked, that was us. McPeople. — Charlaine Harris

When we came back to the sun deck, the party talk had swung around to the bones found at the end of the street. Carey was saying the police had been to ask her if there was anything she remembered that might help to identify the bones as her husband's. "I told them," she was saying, "that that rascal had run off and left me, not been killed. For weeks after he didn't come back, I thought he might walk back through that door with those diapers. You know," she told Aubrey parenthetically, "he left to get diapers for the baby and never came back." Aubrey nodded, perhaps to indicate understanding or perhaps because he'd already heard this bit of Lawrenceton folklore. — Charlaine Harris

I'll deal with your hang-ups if you'll deal with mine, but if you're still too scared to even try, then you're not worth waiting for. I have some goddamn pride left and I won't wait forever. — Charlaine Harris

So, on the whole, I'd have to say that no, people don't change, but they CAN learn to behave differently. I want to believe otherwise. If you have an argument that says I'm wrong, I'd be glad to hear it. — Charlaine Harris

Eric: 'What part do you like best?' Sookie: 'oh your butt' Eric: 'My ... Bottom?' Sookie: 'yep — Charlaine Harris

Eric was holding my hands, and I was digging my nails into him like we were doing something else. He won't mind, I though, as I realized I'd drawn blood. And sure enough, he didn't. "Let go," he advised me, and I loosened my grip on his hands. "No, not of me," he said smiling. "You can hold on to me as long as you want. — Charlaine Harris

Angelic Sookie, vision of love and beauty, I am prostrate that the wicked evil maenad violated your smooth and voluptuous body, in an attempt to deliver a message to me. -Eric — Charlaine Harris

I love you," Bill said helplessly, as if he wished those magic words would heal me. But he knew they wouldn't.
"That's what you all keep saying," I answered. "But it doesn't seem to get me any happier. — Charlaine Harris

Was this the second body I'd found in the closet, or the third? I wondered why I even opened closet doors any more. — Charlaine Harris

Pam said, Sookie, I brought you something, too. I never thought I'd want to spend time with a human, but you're more tolerable than most ... — Charlaine Harris

( ... ) that the creature I loved was lying somewhere in a hole underground, to all intents and purposes dead until dark. — Charlaine Harris

I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name. - Pam — Charlaine Harris

Lily might be icy on the outside, but inside she was Vesuvius. — Charlaine Harris

Honey, we have other things to think about," I said, forcing myself to smile, forcing myself to sound calm. One corner of my brain pictured a pink ambulance screeching to a halt outside to disgorge emergency beauticians with cases of scissors, combs, and hair spray. "Dealing with a little hair damage can wait until tomorrow. It's a lot more important to find out who did this and why. — Charlaine Harris

This was pretty exotic stuff for a telepathic barmaid from northern Louisiana. — Charlaine Harris

And by golly, love sure was a battlefield. Benatar was right about that. — Charlaine Harris

A piece of happiness should never be taken as due. — Charlaine Harris

As I watched Bill, waiting with apparent calm for death to come to him, I had a flash of him as I'd known him: the first vampire I'd ever met, the first man I'd ever gone to bed with, the first suitor I'd ever loved. Everything that followed had tainted those memories, but for one moment I saw him clearly, and I loved him again. — Charlaine Harris

Eric moved the broom experimentally and made an attempt to sweep the glass into the pan while it lay in the middle of the floor. Of course, the pan slid away. Eric scowled.
I'd finally found something Eric did poorly. — Charlaine Harris

Eric: if Sookie had died, I would let you suffer.
Bill: if Sookie had died, I would already be dead. — Charlaine Harris

To heck with him, I thought righteously. Him and the horse he rode in on. — Charlaine Harris

We might be on the same page, but I wasn't happy about reading it. — Charlaine Harris

By the way, I haven't heard an 'I'm sorry' from you yet." My sense of grievance had overwhelmed my sense of self-preservation.
I am sorry that the maenad picked on you."
I glared at him. "Not enough," I said. I was trying hard to hang on to this conversation.
Angelic Sookie, vision of love and beauty, I am prostrate that the wicked evil maenad violated your smooth and voluptuous body, in an attempt to deliver a message to me."
That's more like it. — Charlaine Harris

I often cried when I got angry; I hated that. Crying just made you look weak, no matter what triggered it. — Charlaine Harris

Look, how come he showed up now? When you have other fairies in the woods? And does that sound crazy when you say it out loud, or what? — Charlaine Harris

We want to climb in with you,' Dermot said. 'We'll all sleep better.'
That seemed incredibly weird and creepy to me - or maybe I only thought it should have. I was simply too tired to argue. I climbed in the bed. Claude got in on one side of me, Dermot on the other. Just when I was thinking, I would never be able to sleep, that this situation was too odd and too wrong, I felt a kind of blissful relaxation roll through my body, a kind of unfamiliar comfort. I was with family. I was with blood.
And I slept. — Charlaine Harris

suck failure, fur face! — Charlaine Harris

Thank you, thank you very much. — Charlaine Harris

Appius Livius Ocella made mistakes in his whole long existence. Perhaps changing Eric was his finest hour. He created the perfect vampire. Eric's only flaw is you. — Charlaine Harris

I want to call you all those gooshy words you use when you love someone, no matter how stupid it sounds. — Charlaine Harris