Chad Kultgen Quotes & Sayings

Every word she says makes me feel a little more like faking a stroke and pretending to lose all memory of who I was. — Chad Kultgen

It was shaping up to be one of a handful of days in my life that filled me with the kind of anticipation and excitement that makes your anus tingle ever so slightly. — Chad Kultgen

If the actions of Hitler, Gandhi, Jesus Christ, anyone who had ever existed or would ever exist, were all meaningless, then surely sitting down next to Brandy Beltmeyer was equally meaningless. — Chad Kultgen

We drive down the road in complete silence for a few miles listening to 50 Cent. As soon as he tells us that he's into having sex, he ain't into making love, Casey turns the volume down and begins telling me the following information: " I love you so much. We're going to have the best life together. I can't wait." Every word she says makes me feel a little more like faking a stroke and pretending to lose all memory of who I was, but it's not until she looks me in the eye and says in all seriousness, "You're my soul mate," that I realize I am not going to marry her. — Chad Kultgen

So what's your major? Have you figured it out yet?"
Yeah, biology. I'm hoping to go to med school. How about you?"
Elementary education."
She could have told me she was majoring in shit-eating with a minor in injecting guys with AIDS blood while they slept, and I would have thought it was the greatest, most noble thing in the world. — Chad Kultgen

People don't change, they just have momentary steps outside of their true character — Chad Kultgen

She's been fucking someone else. She's still fucking Duane. She's getting back together with Duane and they're getting married. Duane's in the closet with a video camera and a gun. — Chad Kultgen

When she left I realized my roommate, Dave, was awake the whole time and was witness to my entire interaction with Heather. He said something like, 'Good try, man. Just remember, if Christ wants something to happen it will, but it will happen in his time.' which was my first real taste of the born-again-flavored shit pie he was going to force-feed down my throat every day of our freshman year. — Chad Kultgen

One night, Tim stumbled across a documentary called Manufacturing Consent. After viewing it, he found some writing online by its subject, Noam Chomsky, and as a result began to feel that there wasn't really a point to anything, that free will was an illusion, and that the things most people invested time and energy in were systems of control designed by those who sought to manipulate the general populace — Chad Kultgen

Relationships between men and women are only about sex. The rest of the sh*t is incidental. — Chad Kultgen

On the drive home I continue to try and jar the fetus loose with more abrupt driving maneuvers. — Chad Kultgen

But I think you're failing to understand exactly what a dissertation is supposed to be. It's not meant to change the world or revolutionize the way we think about anything. It's meant to be a document that I can read and the rest of the committee can read to show us that you have enough understanding to warrant a PhD. That's all. Once you have the PhD, once you leave here, or stay here and become a professor, that's when your real work will start. — Chad Kultgen

There is no love, there is only the lie we tell ourselves that things are more important than they actually are, that our lives will have meaning beyond all the other lives that have come before us and been forgotten, that there is hope in any of this. — Chad Kultgen

Try to remember the moment when all the stupid innocent things you thought about life and love, all the things you thought mattered, all the things you though were true ... try to remember when they all turned out to be lies. - Kyle — Chad Kultgen