Caroline Kepnes Quotes & Sayings

Life isn't always ideal, not for most people. — Caroline Kepnes

we're too old to be young. — Caroline Kepnes

But the most important thing I know is that I want the possibility of you more than the reality of [her]. — Caroline Kepnes

It is possible to know people. They show you who they are. You just have to be looking. — Caroline Kepnes

Talking to you is like traveling through time. — Caroline Kepnes

A poet is different. A poet transforms the world with Such small hands. — Caroline Kepnes

Some guys are assholes and you have to accept that. — Caroline Kepnes

We don't care, you know? We're like, do whatever. Chill out. Be gay. Be straight. I mean, what is the big deal? We're all gonna die anyway, you know? Who wants to spend their precious life hating?" I — Caroline Kepnes

I cry and watch Pitch Perfect and sing along with the Barden Bellas. I don't want to be a person who knows the name of a fictional a cappella group in a chick flick but that's what love has done to me. — Caroline Kepnes

If we were teenagers, I could kiss you. But I'm on a platform behind a counter wearing a name tag and we're too old to be young. — Caroline Kepnes

bBecause he simply doesn't see his dreams in detail, the kind of details that drive a person to pack their shit, to move. — Caroline Kepnes

You are a monster, deathly, solipsistic to the bone and you're blasphemous because all you want is You — Caroline Kepnes

I grew up with no religion and she had all religion. She celebrates everything and I celebrate nothing. — Caroline Kepnes

Louisa May Alcott is right. An extraordinary girl can't have an ordinary life. Don't judge yourself. Love yourself. — Caroline Kepnes

... and you start telling a story about accidentally stealing shoes from an outlet and we've been on the steps for almost twenty minutes and you're so nervous and excited that you keep talking about shoes as if you have to keep talking about shoes or you might jump me right here, on the steps. I chose this spot because my whole fucking life I've walked by these steps and seen couples that make me feel alone, rejected. And now there are loners passing by you and me, jealous, and you're still talking and fuck, it's hard to listen when I can smell your body wash. — Caroline Kepnes

Yeah, I don't have a Yale degree but my bullshit detector is excellent. Top drawer, even. — Caroline Kepnes

In terms of sheer annoyance, nobody I have ever known has compared to Sare Worthington, saver of the environment, native of Portland, Maine, forever wishing that she were from Portland, Oregon. Bitch should have just moved there. — Caroline Kepnes

I don't say anything. I know the power of silence. I remember my dad saying nothing and I remember his silences more vividly than I remember the things he said. — Caroline Kepnes

Eye contact is what keeps us civilized. — Caroline Kepnes

Some people, it's like they care more about their status updates than their actual lives. — Caroline Kepnes

I imagine pushing you into the red abyss and jumping in after you, with you, so we can burn together, forever, a tree of life, light, sex. — Caroline Kepnes

It's not the past if it's not finished. — Caroline Kepnes

There comes a point when the universe needs to get on your side or go fuck itself and the universe gets in line. — Caroline Kepnes

She looks out the window at Reno, which looks like Vegas and yet also looks nothing like Vegas. It's lesser, smaller, worse. — Caroline Kepnes

Work in a bookstore and learn that most people in this world feel guilty about being who they are. — Caroline Kepnes

That's why you leave the windows open. You don't know how to be alone with yourself. And if you block out the world, there you'd be. — Caroline Kepnes

You gotta ignore people until they get in line, especially spoiled rich kids. — Caroline Kepnes

So the good news is, I know exactly what I want."
"You do?" I say and I hope you'll ask me to eat you out in the bathroom at Starbuck's. — Caroline Kepnes

Cunts want to be snowflakes, they want you to tell them how nobody in this whole world compares to them, apologizes to Prince. All the little fame monsters on Instagram, look at me, I put jam on my toast. — Caroline Kepnes

I pick up the list of Benji's five favorite books because we've got work to do:

"Gravity's Rainbow" by Thomas Pynchon. He's a pretentious fuck and a liar.

"Underworld" by Don DeLillo. He's a snob.

"On the Road" by Jack Kerouac. He's a spoiled passport-carrying fuck stunted in eighth grade.

"Brief Interviews with Hideous Men" by David Foster Wallace. Enough already.

"The Red Badge of Courage" by Stephen Crane. He's got Mayflowers in his blood. — Caroline Kepnes

The only thing crueler than a cage so
small that a bird can't fly is a cage so
large that a bird thinks it can fly. — Caroline Kepnes

So I Lyfted to Home Depot, where I bought random stuff, rope and duct tape, plastic bags, cable ties, and plastic gloves. The girl at the register winked and said she's also a big fan of Fifty Shades and this is what has become of our society. Fucking and killing are the same damn thing. Now — Caroline Kepnes

And when she cums she screams and she throws a pillow across the room, it goes out the window, over the balcony. — Caroline Kepnes

I hate it here... ...Everyday is actually three days, a freezing morning, a blistering day, and a cool night. You need a lot of clothes. And every day is the same day, which is why it's important to hang a calendar. I see why people move here and wake up one day scratching their heads, wondering when they turned forty or what year it is. — Caroline Kepnes

Most kids are assholes, just like most adults. — Caroline Kepnes

It's a sad and grotesque thing that you and your friends have become so accustomed to lies that the truth has to be prefaced because it's inherently surprising, a startling departure from the lies that comprise your lives. — Caroline Kepnes

You are a woman and I am a man and we belong in the dark together. — Caroline Kepnes

It's not romantic and it's a daylight date but I understand that your attraction to me is so intense that you need to keep a safe distance. — Caroline Kepnes

And [Benji] cheats on you, Beck. A lot. Compulsively. He is in intense pursuit of a performance artist who fucks with his head the way he fucks with yours. — Caroline Kepnes

The world stops and your eyes gloss over. The Benjis of the world don't understand what you want, someone to make you pancakes. You don't care about money. You don't want to be spanked. You want love. Your father had a red ladle and now I have a red ladle and I will make you the pancakes you want so badly, the pancakes you haven't tasted since he died. Your mouth waters and you submit, softly. "Okay, Joe. — Caroline Kepnes

You like words and I know words — Caroline Kepnes

He snorts more cocaine, I could pull over and roll him out the door, but he's on so much blow right now that he would probably just turn into a roadrunner, catch up to me, and jump back in. — Caroline Kepnes

Los Angeles is full of places to hide a body, but when the person inside the body doesn't love you, it's not an easy thing, turning that breathing person into a dead one. — Caroline Kepnes

Your skin is a waste of space because there's no heart inside of you — Caroline Kepnes

Most people die old, full of pain and regret. Or young and full of drugs and self-indulgence - or sheer bad luck. — Caroline Kepnes

It is my destiny to know people who abuse punctuation. — Caroline Kepnes

This is why people like writing. You visit old friends without having to go on Facebook and see what they're up to and deal with what idiots called FOMO. You make them into what you want them to be, the people they could be if only they were braver, smarter. — Caroline Kepnes

A book lets you choose how much of the blood you want to see. A book gives you the permission to see the story as you want, as your mind directs. — Caroline Kepnes

It wasn't my fault that Candace followed me down to the water's edge and it wasn't my fault that I picked her up and held her down in the water and watched her pass on to the great beyond. She wanted to be there, or she wouldn't have gone down there with me. She knew she was killing me and she knew that I was not the type to go down without a fight. — Caroline Kepnes

New England: All of the Bitterness, Most of the Boating, None of the Bullshit. — Caroline Kepnes

You smile, embarrassed to be a nice girl, and your nails are bare and your V-neck sweater is beige and it's impossible to know if you're wearing a bra but I don't think that you are. — Caroline Kepnes

I'm the same way about the bookshop. You know, I walk around and I feel the whole world is in there, the most important stories of all time. — Caroline Kepnes

His lower lip trembles. "Is this . . . are you from the network?" I look at him. Could he possibly be that stupid? "No," I say. "I'm from the world." He — Caroline Kepnes

Nature is an inherently forward beast; footsteps disappear, past hurts fade. — Caroline Kepnes

Full of disclaimers, you're like a warning label on a pack of cigarettes. — Caroline Kepnes

...you can love some all you want, but you can't go into their past and become a part of their formative years. — Caroline Kepnes

You never sounded farther away from me and I will take that balloon and stab the fuck out of and at the same time I will take that balloon and tie it around Peach's neck because WHO THE FUCK CAN CUNT OUT OVER A BALLOON? — Caroline Kepnes

This is your success and this is the magic hour, the golden time before the time. Just be in it. You earned it. Don't spread it and don't pull on it and don't push it and don't share it and don't examine it. This is it. — Caroline Kepnes

It's like the kitchen in that movie where evil rich Michael Douglas tries to have Gwyneth Paltrow murdered because she falls for a poor artist. Everything is stainless steel or marble and the island in the center is the size of a small car. I can't remember if the poor guy gets Gwyneth in the end of the movie and it feels like it matters a lot right now. — Caroline Kepnes

Now there are elements of our dynamic coming slowly into view, like a photograph in a darkroom. — Caroline Kepnes

I wish there were a way for me to ask about a red ladle but it's not a normal question — Caroline Kepnes

only takes one weirdo to spot you inside and decide to go and get you. — Caroline Kepnes

All the joy is gone, somewhere along the way she broke her own heart and without a heart you can't get better. — Caroline Kepnes

People are so lonely, they spend their birthdays on the Internet, thanking people for wishing them a happy birthday, people who only know it's their birthday because Facebook told them. — Caroline Kepnes

I love Stephen King as much as any red rum drinking American, but I resent the fact that I, the bookseller, am his bitch. — Caroline Kepnes

Curtis will be here in ten minutes because he's supposed to get here at six and he's never been on time because he's part of Generation Benji, all busy with his fake life in his fucking gadgets, tinderokcupidinstagramtwitterfacebookvinebullshitnarcissism incorporatedonlinepetitionsfantasyfuckingfootball. — Caroline Kepnes

And then it happens, the most dreaded response in the world, more terse than any word, more withholding than a "no," and strictly verboten for someone as in love with language and me as you claim to be.

You: "K — Caroline Kepnes

Love is breathing heavily, it's clear she's never talked about this to anyone. You know when someone is opening up a so private, that there isn't a key. — Caroline Kepnes

and if anyone was ever going to live eternally in the light, I think it would be you. — Caroline Kepnes

She winks. "I hope you like pineapples."
I fucking hate pineapples. "Love 'em," I say. "Bring it. — Caroline Kepnes

I don't feel sorry for myself, Beck. Lots of people have shitty parents and roaches in the cabinets and stale, raw Pop-Tarts for dinner and a TV that barely works and a dad who doesn't care when his son doesn't come home during a national disaster. The thing is, I'm lucky. I had the bookstore. — Caroline Kepnes

The real horror of my life is not that I've killed some terrible people. The real horror is that the people I've loved didn't love me back. — Caroline Kepnes

There's emptiness in him that can never be filled, emptiness that dresses up well at prep school, where a lack of willpower is called creativity. — Caroline Kepnes

Oh Beck, I love reading your e-mail. Learning your life. And I am careful; I always mark new messages unread so that you won't get alarmed. My good fortune doesn't stop there; You prefer e-mail. You don't like texting. So this means that I am not missing out on all that much communication. You wrote an "essay" for some blog in which you stated that "e-mails last forever. You can search for any word at any time and see everything you ever said to anyone about that one word. Texts go away." I love you for wanting a record. I love your records for being so accessible and I'm so full of you, your calendar of caloric intake and hookups and menstrual moments, your self-portraits you don't publish, your recipes and exercises. You will know me soon too, I promise. — Caroline Kepnes

In the cage, you feel loved, not trapped. Just like me. — Caroline Kepnes

That's the problem with this never-ending centipede of lemmings, Beck. You know they're all pussies, each and every one of 'em. They buy these books to get scared because their lives are too easy. How pathetic is that? — Caroline Kepnes

if there's one dude that everyone on the Upper West Side will welcome with open arms, it's the fucking jogger. — Caroline Kepnes

I like that. Every time. Instead of 'anytime.' It's pointed." "Well, I mean it. — Caroline Kepnes

You ooze joy and she is an open wound, shrill and wan, unfucked and unloved. — Caroline Kepnes

There is nothing remarkable about this 'guac', about any 'guac', and California needs to calm the fuck down. — Caroline Kepnes

My middle school health teacher told us that you can hold eye contact for ten seconds before scaring or seducing someone. — Caroline Kepnes

Who can sleep with you in the world? — Caroline Kepnes

Just eat it and shit it and be done with it and don't feel special cuz you eat that shit with someone because in the end we all shit alone! — Caroline Kepnes

This is what all the love songs are about, the moment when
you find your own way forward with someone and there is no turning back. — Caroline Kepnes

We're like, do whatever. Chill out. Be gay. Be straight. I mean, what is the big deal? We're all gonna die anyway, you know? Who wants to spend their precious life hating? — Caroline Kepnes

She cackles and her accent is so thick that I feel bad for the words coming out of her mouth. — Caroline Kepnes

I wish it were socially acceptable to brandish a knife. — Caroline Kepnes

The problem with books is that they end. — Caroline Kepnes

And I will never again underestimate the power of anticipation. There is no better boost in the present than an invitation into the future. — Caroline Kepnes

And when a girl likes talking about you more than talking to you, well, in my experience, that's the end. — Caroline Kepnes

It's June and the city is ripe with meaningless fecal heat. It will be a different kind of hot in LA, the kind that made the Beach Boys all tan and giddy, a heat that doesn't harass you in the shade. — Caroline Kepnes

I live for living — Caroline Kepnes

I'll fucking kill Hugh Grant. — Caroline Kepnes

And really, when you grow up, and get over yourself, when you fuck narcissism and leave the hashtags at the door, you see what really matters in life. — Caroline Kepnes

We are built to walk. Not to SoulCycle and jog and hike. Walking is mental. You sharpen your thoughts and process your emotions. — Caroline Kepnes

And part of the problem is that phone. You have that function on that fucking phone that enables you to know when your texts are opened and ignored. — Caroline Kepnes

A photo essay (otherwise known as a fucking slide show)... — Caroline Kepnes

6:08 and the next dude in line is buying the new King and The Shining just to be bold - he calls The Shining a prequel and I want to cut his face — Caroline Kepnes

What a shame to be so angered by what you don't have that you treat what you do have like it's nothing. — Caroline Kepnes

You're so clean that you're dirty. — Caroline Kepnes