Bobcat Goldthwait Quotes & Sayings

I retired from acting the same time they stopped hiring me. But following my own thing of making these small indie movies has been the happiest I've ever been. — Bobcat Goldthwait

I'm against gun control. It's not that I like guns, it's just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other's heads off. — Bobcat Goldthwait

When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn't get a job and I couldn't eat meat. — Bobcat Goldthwait

Kurt (Cobain) was a fan of my standup, which was pretty weird. I know when people hear that, it's kind of like finding out that Jimi Hendrix really liked Buddy Hackett, but he interviewed me at a college radio station before they broke and did Bleach. And then, like, about two years later, I was opening for Nirvana at these huge sports arenas. — Bobcat Goldthwait

If you ever see me at a boat show or at a car show, blow my head off. — Bobcat Goldthwait

In my first stand-up acts there wasn't material even. You know, I'd go on stage and cry and read a Dear John letter or gut fish on stage. I could be odd - and it's what interested me as a comedian. — Bobcat Goldthwait

Well, I'm an uncle now ... don't know if I'm a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought there was more dark meat on a gerbil. — Bobcat Goldthwait

How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that's who I am. — Bobcat Goldthwait

Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn chicken? — Bobcat Goldthwait

My point is this - if you want to be happy in showbiz (or any creative field), listen to that voice inside you. Even if it says "Fuck it" sometimes. Work with your friends. Avoid chasing fame or money. Just do what you want to do, when and how you want to do it. And if it's not making you happy, quit. Quit hard, and quit often. Eventually you'll end up somewhere that you never want to leave."
- Bobcat Goldthwait — Bobcat Goldthwait

Animals may be our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport. — Bobcat Goldthwait

America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole. — Bobcat Goldthwait

What's the difference between a Dice Clay concert and a Klan rally? Nothing. Trick question. — Bobcat Goldthwait

Don't hoo, hoo, hoo me. There's a fine line between hoo, hoo, hoo and hiel, hiel, hiel. — Bobcat Goldthwait

Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit. — Bobcat Goldthwait

I lost my job, well I didn't lose it, I know where it is, there's just some other guy doing it now. — Bobcat Goldthwait

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me. — Bobcat Goldthwait

Fame is like a big eraser. It's strange, now that I'm famous. In my parents' opinion, all the shitty things - all the wreckage of my past - is erased. Now it's like I was never the kid who got arrested. Now I'm a wonderful son. — Bobcat Goldthwait

I can't feel my face. I mean I can touch it. But I can't feel it inside. — Bobcat Goldthwait

That's human nature - we want to completely rewrite history so it can be comfortable. Without getting too profound, I'm pretty sure that's where the invention of the afterlife comes from. "We don't really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows." — Bobcat Goldthwait