Beryl Dov Quotes & Sayings

Pandas: China's Secret Weapon of Mass Seduction
'Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing
your cub is such an adorable thing!'

People think you're a gift of the Chinese -
but you're just on a 10 year lease.
For a mere $2,000,000/year pick any panda pair --
watch zoo ticket sales zoom, triple profit share.

'Look mommy, see the cute Panda bear!'
Remind me mom, how many were butchered
on Tiananmen Square?

'I forget dear, but that cub is sooo cute! — Beryl Dov

Garden [10w]
A garden is a poem
written with flowers on earth. — Beryl Dov

Horticulture ]10w]
I am an advocate of horticulture and higher-education for sluts. — Beryl Dov

Spite
If we can't quite live beyond our bodies,
we should, as a matter of spite, live beyond our income. — Beryl Dov

Growing Pains [10w]
Man's growing pains end promptly at the time of death. — Beryl Dov

Love is Beautiful [10w]
Even an average woman becomes beautiful when she's in love. — Beryl Dov

Simple Pleasures
Life is all about the simple pleasures
so I passed on the multilingual GPS option
on the my Bentley Continental GTZ Zagato
and felt the better man for it. — Beryl Dov

Love is a Yardstick [10w]
Love is a yardstick by which we can measure our heartbreak. — Beryl Dov

Telekinetic Poker Players
You can tell telekinetic poker-players are bluffing ~
they raise you. — Beryl Dov

Unforgettable
Poets should not be loyal to poets,
but to poems.
Even less enamored of the poem
than of the line.
Pledge their fealty not as much to a line
as to its original image,
For it is that indelible image
makes the line,
which makes poem,
which makes the poet
unforgettable. — Beryl Dov

The Written Word
The only thing I hold dearer than myself
(and my moms, yo') ~

is the written word.

I'd give my life for that bitch,
(yo'.) — Beryl Dov

Foodiedom
Never in the history of foodiedom
has food at a newly discoveredrestaurant
tasted as good on the second visit. — Beryl Dov

Life as Art
If you want to turn your life into a masterpiece
you must humble yourself to sell
a couple of shitty postcards
along the way. — Beryl Dov

First Memories
Without language we cannot create distinct memories,
that's why the first year-and-a-half of my life is still a blank,
other than a lingering vague premonition I owed
someone something. — Beryl Dov

God's Doorbell [10w]
Earth is God's doorbell,
unfortunately, half the time
nobody's home. — Beryl Dov

Texans reckon someone's a half-wit without even making a comparison. — Beryl Dov

Fireflies and Fame
As a child I would collect fireflies,
stuff them in a Coke bottle
capped with a wad of cotton
from my asthma medicine.
Tired of being just a collector
I turned Ted Bundy,
peeled off their wings,
then lined up their weightless bodies
into an elegant cursive script
spelling my name.
I stomped them all
like an Indian on a warpath
and for fifteen seconds of fame
my name lit up in Vegas neon
just like Liberace's. — Beryl Dov

How 'We' Assume the Throne [10w]
We've become royalty
when the first-person-singular leaps
into the first-person-plural. — Beryl Dov

PlayStation: Live in your world. Play in ours...
...and once you're hooked on gaming
you'll live and play in our world exclusively. — Beryl Dov

Good Egg [10w]
Picking up the pieces is the responsibilty of the egg. — Beryl Dov

Lourdes
Poetry is my Lourdes ~
a spiritual oasis where I come to heal
in the divine power of words. — Beryl Dov

Rooftop Poetry
Sing poetry from rooftops
like a muzzein' s call for prayer. — Beryl Dov

Mirror [10w]
Do no mock a mirror;
it will mock you back. — Beryl Dov

Moments vs. Years
Life's too long when measured in years,
and too short when measured in moments. — Beryl Dov

Poetry as Initiation
Every poem embraces our passion to connect
its reader to snippets of knowledge
that have become life-giving to us.
Poems go beyond simple sharing to initiation,
beyond the need to express
to the urgency to edify. — Beryl Dov

Miss Universe Contest Protest Haiku
Fundamentalists
protest Miss Universe contest.
Go home, beat their wives. — Beryl Dov

Stranger [10w]
Discover your lover every day as you would a stranger. — Beryl Dov

Texas [10w]
Every Texan has a project and every picnic has fire-ants. — Beryl Dov

I have only one simple question for Hello Poetry Members who are following other poets but deliberately choose not to follow me... [10w]
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FOLLOWING POETS
MUCH LESS CREATIVE? — Beryl Dov

Multiple Dimensions of Love [10w]
Make time and space for the multiple dimensions of love. — Beryl Dov

The Life Coach with Too Many Cats
My new life coach said, "Make sure you learn one new thing every day."
Before our session, I averaged learning at least two new thing every day.
Not only did her cats make my eyes itchy, that bitch made me stupid. — Beryl Dov

Overcopulation
The Main Street Babbitts
are fucking like rabbits,
competing and coping
in a crowded place,
overeating and moping,
bleating and hoping,
it's not the end
of the human race. — Beryl Dov

Explaining God to Children
Draw a rapid river clockwise, flowing in a circle.
Draw a mountain in the middle, with heaven at the tip.
Tell a child,
'God is the top of the mountain.
Man is the river.
Only God's sees we're in a big hurry going nowhere.'
The clever child will ask,
'What does man see?'
Tell the child,
'Well, man sees there's a light side to God ~ and maybe a dark side too,
depending on where he's at.
Man sometimes doesn't see God at all because there are clouds.'
(Quickly draw some clouds.)
The clever child will ask,
'How do i know it's God on top of the mountain in heaven and it's not the Devil in hell?'
'Hmm...How old did you say you were?'

Back to the drawing board. — Beryl Dov

Mums the Word [10w]
Chrysanthemum died to atone for our sins in the garden. — Beryl Dov

Necessity
Necessity is the mother of twins.
Congratulations,
Necessity! — Beryl Dov

Self-Improvement
Turn yourself into a neighbor worth loving,
and then keep moving. — Beryl Dov

Boundary vs. Horizon
Our imagination is not a boundary, it's a horizon.
It moves with us and is therefore limitless. — Beryl Dov

Save One Heart [20w]
If you can save one heart from breaking
without breaking yours
it is as if you have saved the world. — Beryl Dov

What Might Have Been {Couplet}
Dwell not upon what might have been,
Within such idle spin, you can never win. — Beryl Dov

Grandma's Advice on Picnics
Not every day is going to be a picnic,
because there are ants everywhere you go ~
and a few of them are even insects. — Beryl Dov

Nietzsche [10w]
Zarathustra's high-wire act is over;
the circus has left town. — Beryl Dov

Sublime Beauty
When I shut my eyes, I can move mountains.
When I open them, mountains can move me. — Beryl Dov

Peter Piper
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
why couldn't he use his kick-ass alliterative skillz
to write Spoken Word poetry? — Beryl Dov

His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama My Ass
When empathy becomes a trend,
we haven't reached a higher level of consciousness,
just a higher level of competition. — Beryl Dov

For our Dead Moms, Straight from the Heart
Mom,
You held my hand in times of need,
Whatever the occasion.
Now,
Forever shall your heart be held in mine,
To balance the equation. — Beryl Dov

Bogart, Bacall and Balls
Can a man trust a woman with a voice
an octave lower than his?
I suspect Judi Dench's testicles
descended long before mine,
femme nasal, Fran Drescher,
has a clinking pair made of brass,
and Bea Arthur's cock
is as thick as Roseanne's ass.
On the other hand, Lauren Bacall's voice
was more sultry than husky,
deep because she smoked two packs a day.
No way she was hanging,
or Humphrey would've Bogarted her joint. — Beryl Dov

Over 50% of Modern Relationships [10w]
Best match for a narcissiist is a low self-esteemed enabler. — Beryl Dov

New [10w] + {Couplet}
Poetry is fashion, its new arrivals
are simply just revivals. — Beryl Dov

Rub It In {Couplet}
You were right, I was wrong;
how often will you repeat this song? — Beryl Dov

Second Chances [10w]
Every time we go full circle
it's a new circle. — Beryl Dov

Jesus Christ, Is That A Puppet? [10w]
The Bible performed entirely by puppets would produce more converts. — Beryl Dov

Random Acts of Kindness [10w]
Performing random acts of kindness invites random acts of imitation. — Beryl Dov

Nobel Prize in Literature [10w]
Only fools and Swedes equate literary prizes with literary merit. — Beryl Dov

Live Today [10w]
Don't plan for the future if you can't live today. — Beryl Dov

Soccer Mom
English is not my first language.
For years I thought a soccer mom was a woman beaten by her husband ~
just with children.
A nice woman explained to me I was thinking about a battered wife.
I said,
'You mean he dips her in flour before he slaps her?
Then she slapped me.

Oy, English. — Beryl Dov

Clairol: Does she or doesn't she...
...take it up the ass. — Beryl Dov

Disneyland: The happiest place on earth...
...for its Board of Directors and stockholders. — Beryl Dov

She vs. Sex [10w]
"She knows everything about sex
except how to enjoy it. — Beryl Dov

Muse [10w]
Poetry's a collaboration with your muse.
Silence!
Let her speak. — Beryl Dov

Grandma's Advice to Girls [10w]
Grandma's advice to girls:
Fuck the athlete;
marry the mathlete. — Beryl Dov

McDonald's: I'm loving it!...
...because feeding my family healthy food is not worth more than $4. — Beryl Dov

Nostalgia [10w]
Nostalgia is a time machine
set to your perfect past. — Beryl Dov

Lies vs. Truth [10w]
Lies are more credible than truth because they are nuanced. — Beryl Dov

Religion is Existential GPS
The mind needs religious myths to navigate the world,
or it gets lost in its own sterility. — Beryl Dov

Between the Murmurs of My Heart
I kneel in awe at the altar of myself,
resonating in the realization
between the murmurs of my heart, that
'I
am
the
miracle
of
life. — Beryl Dov

Acetylene
Scythe spinning slowly over your hospital bed,
Catching lashes of light with each turn,
You're slowly disappearing, lost from my sight,
As AIDs consumes you, stem to stern.

Jaw slackened, mouth open in comical pose,
Like Einstein's poster with the lolling tongue.
Gravitas gone, morphine has softened your throes,
Your opera's more Falstaff than Gotterdammerung.

I shave you, trim your overgrown nails,
I read your favorite poet, Stephen Crane.
'A rip-tooth of the sky's acetylene,'
You nod off, hearing only the rain. — Beryl Dov

FBI vs. CIA
When a person works for the FBI for 20 years and retires,
he gets a watch.
When a person works for the CIA for 20 years and retires,
he gets watched.
I know this not because I'm in law enforcement or with the NSA ~

I know this because I have HBO. — Beryl Dov

The Reader [10w]
A poem cannot be greater than the mind examining it. — Beryl Dov

Obama Talks to Auto-Worker's Union [10w]
"We shall increase auto-industry employment
by using live crash-test dummies. — Beryl Dov

Life's Tragedy
Making a living and making a life
are at odds. — Beryl Dov

Hey, Wait a Minute!
The best way to control a people is to create
a fascist system of government
that goes through the motions of democracy.
Hey, wait a minute!
That's called America. — Beryl Dov

Maori, Te'mutunga'ke'mai'o'te'rori'o'te'tangata
That uncontrollable laughter that causes milk to shoot through a Maori's nose when he sees a picture of Mike Tyson's face tattoo. Literally, 'What a fucking loser'. — Beryl Dov

Wisdom is Awakening
The wise man wakes up and takes nothing for granted ~
even waking up. — Beryl Dov

The Dead Should Not Go Uncuddled
"Should you die and I persist,
I insist I be buried in an empty coffin
next to yours,
so you can keep it warm for me. — Beryl Dov

Rules [10w]
There are no rules
is the hardest rule to follow. — Beryl Dov

Pearl II [10w]
If the world's your pearl then you're an empty shell. — Beryl Dov

Raise Your Hand [10w]
Raise your hand to answer questions,
not to hit children. — Beryl Dov

Rules
Rules,
like hearts,
were meant to be broken — Beryl Dov

The Kiss
Begin with words formed upon the lips
move to lips informed by lover's lips
pressing lips upon each others lips
inducing hips to thrust upon one's hips
while moving lips from lips to hips
and back to lips impressed by lips. — Beryl Dov

Penetrate the Mysteries
"If you ever hope to penetrate the mysteries of the universe,
you've got to buy her a drink first and then pretend you're listening. — Beryl Dov

Maine Haiku
"Winter don't matter
when there's steaming lobster and
girls are steaming hot. — Beryl Dov

Choose Your Tears
If we cry over spilled milk,
what tears will be left over for spilled blood? — Beryl Dov

Want vs. What's Coming to You
As the Rolling Stones say,
You can't always get what you want ~
but God will always give you what's coming to you. — Beryl Dov

Weltanschaung as Ennui [10w]
When world-view turns to world-weariness,
we see staleness in everything. — Beryl Dov

Love in the Afterlife [10w]
Maybe I'll love you in the afterlife.
This life, fuhgeddaboudit. — Beryl Dov

Is Prayer Only for Man? II [10w]
God created man so He'd have something to pray for. — Beryl Dov

Poetry: Foolish Passion of My Youth
Poetry was the foolish passion of my youth,
forsaken for twenty years
to raise a family.
When I returned to poetry in this,
my Autumn years,
my childhood was returned.

Now Poetry raises me. — Beryl Dov

Feckless Fixation [10w]
Poets worry too much about other poets instead of writing. — Beryl Dov

My Heart
My heart has so many scars
you could read it like braille. — Beryl Dov

Satirists [10w]
I do best what satirists have always done ~
make enemies. — Beryl Dov

The Economics of Truth
In the popular marketplace, truth is cheap
because its supply always exceeds its demand. — Beryl Dov

Small Packages [10w]
Great things come in small packages
from a geological perspective. — Beryl Dov

Money vs. Mouth [10w]
'Put ya' money where ya' mouth is,'
so it's grabable. — Beryl Dov

Poor Excuses for Men {Couplet}
Every now and then good ink flows fluent from my playful pen,
Causing jealous minds to moulder in these poor excuses for men. — Beryl Dov

Pets in the Afterlife [10w]
All dogs go to heaven;
all iguanas go to hell. — Beryl Dov

It's Too Late Now, You Fat Fuck [10w]
Death is nature's subtle hint
to cut down on carbs. — Beryl Dov

So What Did You Think of His Poetry? {Couplet}
He was a humdrum poet who left his Hallmark upon the world;
in his poems an umbrella never opened, they all magically unfurled. — Beryl Dov

Heart on Your Sleeve [10w]
If you wear your heart on your sleeve, don't sneeze. — Beryl Dov

Spoiled [10w]
When a woman gets used to an industrial quality pneumatic drill,
I seriously doubt if she'll use a vibrator again. — Beryl Dov

Truthful vs. Honest
To salvage our relationships we cannot always be truthful,
but we shouldn't be anything less than honest. — Beryl Dov