Angela Kiss Quotes & Sayings

Typical English holidaymakers prefer not to mingle with foreigners since they strongly believe that they already have too many of them in England. The last thing they need during their holiday is to see and meet more aliens. Actually, that is the main reason why they choose a holiday abroad, to escape from aliens who occupy England. — Angela Kiss

There are those lunatic people who always prophesy the end of the world. I belong to them. — Angela Kiss

Living in the era of social media and dating apps, online dating is also a very popular dating method in England. It perfectly suits the English person's superpower: being the invisible man or woman. They also like to keep their distance, and the internet is perfect for that. Also complimenting someone is easier online than offline; you don't even have to say anything you just press a 'like' or a 'wink' button and that's it; perfectly suitable for romantically retarded people. — Angela Kiss

According to them, everyone wants to be English. Being English is the best thing in the world. (Far behind, the second best thing is being God himself.) — Angela Kiss

Dating in England is different. First of all because English people don't like at all other people knowing them, and second, because English people are romantically impaired. — Angela Kiss

Never be ashamed of asking for tap water in restaurants. It is only embarrassing and a sign of poorness in Europe. (According to The English, England is not part of Europe. Never has been, never will be. England is England, not part of anything.) — Angela Kiss

It is a well-known fact that English people never know anything. They only think. The only exception they know and they are sure about in the whole world is Marmite. 'Love it or hate it.' There are no other options; there is no space for grey space. — Angela Kiss

Sometimes you see English people going out to pub, bar or disco with friends, standing awkwardly together drinking beer or gin and tonic and waiting for something 'romantic' to happen. Usually nothing happens apart from everybody getting drunk, which is hardly romantic. So, typically, instead of meeting Mr or Miss Right they meet Mr or Miss Right Now, which lasts as long as there is enough alcohol circulating in the blood vessel. — Angela Kiss

If an Englishman asks you 'how are you?', they only expect two possible answers: 'not bad' and 'not too bad'. The former means 'I am doing great', the latter that you are about to commit suicide or have some terminal disease. With anything else, you risk being tarred and feathered. Also, if your answer is 'excellent' they take it as sarcasm. — Angela Kiss

Never, and by this I mean never, criticise the English weather. Especially if you're an alien. For an English woman, it's as though you are scolding her first born child. For an Englishman, it's as if you are criticising the size of his penis. Or even worse: his football team. — Angela Kiss

Being drunk is the only situation when English people completely avoid health and safety rules. — Angela Kiss

If you sit on an airplane and you tell the English person sitting next to you that you have a bomb in your bag, they would probably be pissed off. Not as much pissed off as if you were talking to them all the time during the journey, but still, quite pissed off. — Angela Kiss

In the mind of The English, kissing in the rain, as well as other public displays of affection, belongs to the category of soft porn. Sane people don't do soft porn in public. Only animals do. And aliens. — Angela Kiss

English people don't like to be told 'enjoy your meal'. They will enjoy their meal if they feel like enjoying it. It is advisable not to command them such things in case they have other plans with their meal, such as preferring to dislike it. — Angela Kiss