Quotes & Sayings About Your Uncle

I feel sorry for tribes that used to be cannibals but then stopped when the Christians came and inevitably ruined everything, because it would suck to be nostalgic for the comfort food of your childhood but then never have it again because now it's suddenly not cool to eat your dead uncle. — Jenny Lawson

The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother's advice about honesty being the best policy. Listen to your cool, drunk uncle who tells you to lie. Those are the relationships that last. — Adam DeVine

We liked our grandparents. We liked our uncle and our aunt. They had known our dad and our brother Ben. They had some of the same memories we did. Sometimes they even brought things up, like, "Remember when your dad went out in the kayak at Aspen Lake and he flipped over and we had to save him in our paddleboat?" and we would all start laughing because we had the same picture in our minds, my dad with his sunglasses dangling from one ear and his hair all wet. And they knew that Ben's favorite kind of ice cream wasn't ice cream at all, it was rainbow sherbet, and he always ate green first, and so when I saw it in my grandma's freezer once and I started crying they didn't even ask why and I think I saw my uncle Nick, my mom's brother, crying too. — Ally Condie

I hate false advertising, like 'Skittles: taste the rainbow.' No one's ever been like, 'Rainbow, right you guys?' Or what's Reese's? 'There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's.' Oh, really? Tell that to my uncle who used to put them in my underwear. Alright, maybe your uncles didn't love you. — Amy Schumer

You don't seem to need many qualifications to liaise with Muggles; all they want is an OWL in Muggle Studies. 'Much more important is your enthusiasm, patience and a good sense of fun.' - 'You'd need more than a good sense of fun to liaise with my uncle', said Harry darkly .'Good sense of when to duck more like. — J.K. Rowling

No one can teach your child like you can. No nanny, Bible school teacher, aunt, or uncle has your authority. What a phenomenal privilege is yours. — Max Lucado

Felicity, if I die from the effects of eating sawdust pudding, flavoured with needles, you'll be sorry you ever said such a thing to your poor old uncle, said Uncle Roger reproachfully. — L.M. Montgomery

My uncle Buddy MacMaster is one of the greatest fiddlers Cape Breton has ever produced, and we've produced a lot of them! His fellow fiddlers owe him a huge debt, for he has greatly influenced and inspired all of us. He makes you want to dance; he can bring tears to your eyes. Anyone who likes Cape Breton fiddle - no, anyone who likes fiddling - needs to own this album — Natalie MacMaster

If one morning in the Spring, a stranger came and said to me, Your mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, lover, friend, is dead. From a b-52, napalm bombing, search and destroy mission, air attack, Tet offensive, My Lai massacre, failed escape, I would not scream but make of my body a net, a tarp, stretched taut across the sky, the sea, over every village and hamlet. Prepared to catch everything from the sky, shade everything on the ground, rain water and receive you, war, with arms outstretched. — Le Thi Diem Thuy

Harry said good-bye to you," he said. "Didn't you hear him?"
"It doesn't matter," Harry muttered to Mr. Weasley. "Honestly, I don't care."
Mr. Weasley did not remove his hand from Harry's shoulder.
"You aren't going to see your nephew till next summer," he said to Uncle Vernon in mild indignation. "Surely you're going to say good-bye?"
Uncle Vernon's face worked furiously. The idea of being taught consideration by a man who had just blasted away half his living room wall seemed to be causing him intense suffering. But Mr. Weasley's wand was still in his hand, and Uncle Vernon's tiny eyes darted to it once, before he said, very resentfully, "Good-bye, then. — J.K. Rowling

Yes?" she said. "And who might you be?"
I bowed, because it seemed the appropriate response. "I might be Jill's friend." I said. "Or I might be an Israeli terrorist looking for PLO supporters. Or possibly a burglar trying to steal your jewels to support my laudanum habit. Or even a neighbor complaining about the volume. That is "Heart of Uncle," isn't it? It really ought to be louder. — Steven Brust

You said the demon's signature is faint. I may be able to heal her if she's been injured."
"Not in your present state, you said."
She scowled at him. "I won't let you back into my uncle's home."
"Then I can't protect you if the Baltimore demon comes for you."
She folded her arms.
Hunter's jaw tightened. "All right. I'll call you." He snorted under his breath. "You're a Kubiteron and I'm a Matusa. That means you're to obey me."
"You mean, 'You, Matusa, me, Kubiteron?' No way, Tarzan. Go beat on your chest before some other lesser demon."
Jared quickly hid a smile.
Hunter's face turned dark. She gave him a quirky smile, then vanished. — Terry Spear

Dan suddenly tugged at my hand. "C'mon, Bekah. Daddy and Uncle Lloyd are takin' us fishing. Right, Daddy?" "Uncle Lloyd?" I looked at Frank. He shrugged. "Your father suggested it." "You comin' with us, Bekah?" Dan pressed his hands together, as if in prayer. "Please?" "Please, Rebekah?" Frank seemed as anxious as his son for my answer. Elation coursed through me, almost raising my feet from the ground. I opened my mouth to say yes. "Rebekah?" Mama's voice pulled my attention toward the house. "Rebekah Grace, where have you gotten to?" When my gaze returned to Frank, his sunny expression had darkened to a thundercloud. My hands turned to ice, in spite of unhindered sun. "I'm sorry," I whispered. I ran toward the house, toward Mama, all the while hating myself for wishing she'd never come. — Anne Mateer

I had to promise to look him up if I was ever in the City of Angels." She winked to Uncle Bob. "He liked my voice." "Mom," Amber said, utterly appalled. "You used your feminine wiles on a man you don't even know." Cookie smiled. "That's what they're for, honey. Eat your salad. — Darynda Jones

When I was a little kid, it was not uncommon for a cousin or an uncle, before they would even say 'Hello,' to gush, 'You know, your mother's brisket is just incredible; it's so good.' That was an inspiration for creating a love song in that well-worn terrain of the relationship between a Jewish boy and his mother. — Rick Moranis

He remembered having said to his uncle (with a solemn dogmatism better befitting a much younger man): "Surely it is possible to love with the head as well as the heart." Mr. Delagardie had replied, somewhat drily: "No doubt; so long as you do not end by thinking with your entrails instead of your brain. — Dorothy L. Sayers

I've read Reverend Kirk, in fact. My uncle's library has quite a few books of your people. I have read Mr. Lang's fairy tales as well. (Katherine Rae O'Flaherty)
"Books are not the same as reality," Devlin stared at her. "My world is not always kind to mortals. — Melissa Marr

Your mama can't find anything she likes in these little one. I also think mommy may have to go to jail for murdering Auntie Binny and Auntie Rena. We might also have to add Uncle Cale to the list too if he keeps griping mommy's ass over legalities of moving her business. Auntie Syra is going to get maimed if she asks to wear black one more time, or asks if her hair can be green. — Alex Morgan

Your uncle," Poseidon sighed, "has always had a flair for dramatic exits. I think he would've done well as the god of theater. — Rick Riordan

Jason turned to Leo. "Do you think you can fly this thing?"
"Um ... " Leo put his hand on the side of the helicopter, concentrating hard, as if listening to the machine.
"Bell 412HP utility helicopter," Leo said. "Composite four-blade main rotor, cruising speed twenty-two knots, service ceiling twenty-thousand feet. The tank is near full. Sure, I can fly it."
Piper smiled at the ranger again. "You din't have a problem with an under-aged unlicensed kid borrowing your copter, do you? We'll return it."
"I-" The pilot nearly choked on the words, but she got them out: "I don't have a problem with that."
Leo grinned. "Hop in kids, Uncle Leo's gonna take you for a ride. — Rick Riordan

Well, Betsy," he said, "your mother tells me that you are going to use Uncle Keith's trunk for a desk. That's fine. You need a desk. I've often noticed how much you like to write. The way you eat up those advertising tablets from the store! I never saw anything like it. I can't understand it though. I never write anything but checks myself. "
"Bob!" said Mrs. Ray. "You wrote the most wonderful letters to me before we were married. I still have them, a big bundle of them. Every time I clean house I read them over and cry."
"Cry, eh?" said Mr. Ray, grinning. "In spite of what your mother says, Betsy, if you have any talent for writing, it comes from family. Her brother Keith was mighty talented, and maybe you are too. Maybe you're going to be a writer."
Betsy was silent, agreeably abashed.
"But if you're going to be a writer," he went on, "you've got to read. Good books. Great books. The classics. — Maud Hart Lovelace

Does your uncle need anything? A coffee? A latte?"
"He needs someone to bear his illegitimate child if you're interested — Darynda Jones

It's a myth that if you're liked by only four people it must be good. It might also be very bad: they might be your mother, your brother, your uncle and your aunt. — David Hockney

You're going to be a famous artist." His voice is deep velvet - soothing and sure. "You'll live in one of those artsy, upscale apartments in Paris with your rich husband. Oh, who just happens to be a world-renowned exterminator. How's that for a twist of fate? You won't even have to catch your own bugs anymore. That'll give you more time to spend with your five brilliant kids. And I'll come visit every summer. Show up on the doorstep with a bottle of Texas BBQ sauce and a French baguette. I'll be weird Uncle Jeb. — A.G. Howard

If you bind your men to you with deception, how can you ever trust them? You have qualities they will come to admire. Why not let them grow to trust you naturally, and in that way
'
'There isn't time,' said Laurent.
The words pushed themselves with sheer force out of whatever wordless state Laurent had been shocked into.
'There isn't time,' Laurent said again. 'I have two weeks until we reach the border. Don't pretend that I can woo these men with hard work and a winning smile in that time. I am not the green colt my uncle pretends. I fought at Marlas and I fought at Sanpelier. I am not here for niceties. I don't intend to see the men I lead cut down because they will not obey orders, or because they cannot hold a line. I intend to survive, I intend to beat my uncle, and I will fight with every weapon that I have. — C.S. Pacat

Zuko: For so long I thought that if my dad accepted me, I'd be happy. I'm back home now, my dad talks to me. Ha! He even thinks I'm a hero. Everything should be perfect, right? I should be happy now, but I'm not. I'm angrier than ever and I don't know why!
Azula: There's a simple question you need to answer, then. Who are you angry at?
Zuko: No one. I'm just angry.
Mai: Yeah, who are you angry at, Zuko?
Zuko: Everyone. I don't know.
Azula: Is it Dad?
Zuko: No, no.
Ty Lee: Your uncle?
Azula: Me?
Zuko: No, no, n-no, no!
Mai: Then who? Who are you angry at?
Azula: Answer the question, Zuko.
Ty Lee: Talk to us.
Mai: Come on, answer the question.
Azula: Come on, answer it.
Zuko: I'm angry at myself! — Katie Mattila

I'm just trying to help"
"Do your uncle's bonsai eat meat?"
"I don't think so"
"Have you ever been bitten by one of his bonsai?"
"No."
"In that case, your uncle's bonsai are not helping us — Yann Martel

You can't make a head and brains out of a brass knob with nothing in it. You couldn't do it when your uncle George was living much less when he's dead. — Charles Dickens

Though his countenance was solemn, there was a glint of amusement in his eyes. "Major MacKinnon, won't you join us?"
"But, my lord, he is clad in outlawed rebel attire. The Dress Act expressly forbids
"
"I am not blind, Colonel, and I am familiar with our laws."
Sarah fought back a smile.
Colonel Haviland lowered his voice, leaned toward Uncle William. "He was invited to pay respects to your niece, my lord, and he has the gall to
"
"I _am_ payin' my respects to the lass!" Connor's deep voice filled the room, cutting Colonel Haviland off altogether. — Pamela Clare

Uncle Burley said hills always looked blue when you were far away from them. That was a pretty color for hills; the little houses and barns and fields looked so neat and quiet tucked against them. It made you want to be close to them. But he said that when you got close they were like the hills you'd left, and when you looked back your own hills were blue and you wanted to go back again. He said he reckoned a man could wear himself out going back and forth. — Wendell Berry

Are you going to try it with me? Or do
you only take pleasure in attacking those
who cannot defend themselves?" Damen
heard the hardness in his own voice. He
held his ground. Around them, the tower
room was empty. He had sent everyone
else out. "I remember the last time you
were like this. You blundered so badly
you gave your uncle the excuse he
needed to have you stripped of your
lands. — C.S. Pacat

Your mother brought a strange man to this house once, Katarina. I had hoped it might be a few years before history repeated itself."
Kat rolled her eyes at the mention of her father. "Uncle Eddie, I brought Hale home ages ago," she reminded him; but her uncle just shook his head.
"I've known my great-niece's friend. A boyfriend, on the other hand ... that is a most different matter."
"Yes, sir," Hale said. He stood up a little straighter, spoke a little louder.
"You have a powerful family, boy."
"Yes, sir," Hale said. "Please don't hold them against me."
Then Eddie gave a wry smile. "Who says I was talking about them? — Ally Carter

Coach Slader caught up followed closely by a trail of curious students all as surprised as I at this turn of events.Coach spoke in a delicate voice, like he didn't want to spook a dangerous animal.
"Jayden, what are you doing?"
"She needs medical attention." The guy didn't pause stride.
"Yes, but - "
"I'm taking her to the nurse."
"Okay, but - "
"She's too weak to walk."
I huffed. "I am not. Put me down."
In one swift movement the boy stopped, dumped me on my feet and stepped back. My knees buckled and before you could say "Bob's your uncle" he scooped me up again and kept walking. A chorus of giggles erupted behind us.
"See," he said.I put my arms around his neck and shut up. — A&E Kirk

Well, what did he want?"
"Merely to tell you that your uncle, Mr. Eyre of Madeira, is dead; that he has left you all his property, and that you are now rich
merely that
nothing more. — Charlotte Bronte

The good news is that there are things we can do right now to restore civility. But it starts with a personal choice to change bad habits - being more congenial, communicating better, anticipating concerns; the following are all ways to improve every aspect of life - personal relationships, friendships, families, bosses, and dealing with your crazy uncle (everyone has one - ours is called Uncle Bob). — Dana Perino

Think of your freedom, every time you see UNCLE TOM'S CABIN; and let it be a memorial to put you all in mind to follow in his steps, and be honest and faithful and Christian as he was." CHAPTER — Harriet Beecher Stowe

How do you lose your brother ? You lose your grandfather, your distant uncle, your dog for Christ's sake. Not your brother. Especially brothers like mine. — Jolene Perry

She did her best but like Uncle E says, sometimes your best just ain't good enough. — Patricia Wood

Sleep, ladies. I will be your St. Florian." Tomaso — Eileen Granfors

A holiday vacation can mean sampling all kinds of new cuisine - whether it's Uncle Joe's award-winning chili or the exotic flavors of Nepal. If your little ones are fussy, be sure to ease mealtime hassles by bringing along a supply of the familiar foods they're accustomed to rejecting at home. — Adam Mansbach

Not to mention the fact that your uncle seems determined to drink away the coffers of House Jacos." Another swig of gin. Coriane almost laughed at the irony. "How selfish. — Victoria Aveyard

Antonio, I speak to you from beyond the grave, in seriousness. I have loved you with all my shameful heart, as much as I once loved Francisco, and I have conquered any envy that I might have felt. If a dead man may have a wish, it is that you should find your future with Pelagia. She is beautiful and sweet, there is no one who deserves you more, and no one else worthy of you. I wish that you will have children together, and I wish that once or twice you will tell them about their Uncle Carlo that they never saw. As for me, I hoist my knapsack on my shoulders and buckle the webbing, I put my arm through the sling of my rifle, and I open the veil to march into the unknown as soldiers always will. Remember me.
Carlo. — Louis De Bernieres

Oh. Yeah, um ... " I was pretty sure I matched a fire truck. "He's a heavy sleeper."
"I'm sure he is." Dominic stepped back. "If you wish to join your uncle, I'll be waiting outside. You should have time to get ready. Your uncle is a ... heavy sleeper, also."
Whaaaa ... and then it hit me. Ew. Ew. Ew. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

You gonna give me shit about goin' out with your brother in blue?" "Gave Merry shit already," Colt returned, and my stomach clutched. "He shoved it back." My stomach unclutched and I beat back a smile. "Not sure which one a' you is more fucked in the head, him for takin' on your shit or you for takin' on his. Just know I'll kick either of your asses, you fuck the other over." "You do know I'm a big girl, Uncle Colt," I shot back. Cal chuckled again. Morrie joined him. Colt started to look testy. Or testier. — Kristen Ashley

Uncle Bob - "
"I could order you to."
"Well, you'd best be ordering your coffin at the same time."
"I mean it, Charley."
"I suggest a nice mahogany. — Darynda Jones

The mentality of who is your uncle - an ethnocentric way of thinking, is one of the leading causes of South Sudan's internal conflicts. — Duop Chak Wuol

Is something a friend once told me. She said that every single one of us at birth is given an emotional acre all our own. You get one, your awful Uncle Phil gets one, I get one, Tricia Nixon gets one, everyone gets one. And as long as you don't hurt anyone, you really get to do with your acre as you please. You can plant fruit trees or flowers or alphabetized rows of vegetables, or nothing at all. If you want your acre to look like a giant garage sale, or an auto-wrecking yard, that's what you get to do with it. There's a fence around your acre, though, with a gate, and if people keep coming onto your land and sliming it or trying to get you to do what they think is right, you get to ask them to leave. And they have to go, because this is your acre. — Anne Lamott

Emme pulled on Cole's hand. "Why are they crying?"
Her uncle bent down. "Well, sometimes when all your dreams come true? The best you can do is cry. It's happy, not sad. — Debra Anastasia

Let me get it straight. Your father was king. You were his only son. Your father dies. You are of age. Your uncle becomes king."
"Yes."
"Unorthodox. — Tom Stoppard

Who's Beth?" Keri asked.
"The bartender at your wedding."
"Oh, that's right. How could I forget when
my husband almost got thrown out of our own
reception for trying to hire her like a hooker or
something."
"What's a hooker?" Bobby asked.
Keri's island tan flushed pink. "Oops."
"You put it on the end of a fishing pole,
dummy," Brian explained.
Bobby frowned. "Uncle Joe tried to hire a
worm? — Shannon Stacey

The American revolution, the terms are these: not that I drive you out or that you drive me out, but that we come together and embrace and learn to live together. That is the only way that we can have achieved the American revolution.
Now, if we can face this, it involves facing a great many things. It demands that white people face the fact that I, for example, or any black person they will ever meet or have ever met - I am not an exotic rarity. I am not a stranger. I am none of those things. On the contrary, for all you know, for all you know, I might be your uncle, your brother, your cousin, among other things. One of the things that has happened here - and the pathology of the Deep South proves it; so does the pathology of the North, which dictates to them that they move out and I move in - among other things which have to be excavated here is the fact that this long history is also the history of a love affair. — James Baldwin

Her mother had smelled of cold and scales, her father of stone dust and dog. She imagined her husband's mother, whom she had never met, had a whiff of rotting apples, though her stationary had stunk of baby powder and rose perfume. Sally was starch, cedar, her dead grandmother sandalwood, her uncle, swiss cheese. People told her she smelled like garlic, like chalk, like nothing at all. Lotto, clean as camphor at his neck and belly, like electrified pennies at the armpit, like chlorine at the groin. She swallowed. Such things, details noticed only on the edges of thought would not return.
'Land,' Mathilde said, 'odd name for a guy like you.'
'Short for Roland,' the boy said.
Where the August sun had been steaming over the river, a green cloud was forming. It was still terrifically hot, but the birds had stopped singing. A feral cat scooted up the road on swift paws. It would rain soon.
'Alright Roland,' Mathilde said, suppressing as sigh, 'sing your song. — Lauren Groff

And as for you, Gaelen is your uncle, your mother's beloved brother. He's your family. Learn to get along with him. You don't have to like him, but you might want to consider the fact that he's walked the earth more than twice as long as either of your parents, and he's spent the last thousand years battling the enemies of the Fey. He's probably forgotten more Fey skills than you've ever learned. — C.L. Wilson

Oh Senor" said the niece. "Your grace should send them to be burned (books), just like all the rest, because it's very likely that my dear uncle, having been cured of the chivalric disease, will read these and want to become a shepherd and wander through the woods and meadows singing and playing and, what would be even worse, become a poet, and that, they say, is an incurable and contagious disease. — Miguel De Cervantes Saavedra

My default answer to everything is no. As soon as I hear the inflection of inquiry in your voice, the word no forms in my mind, sometimes accompanies by a reason, often not. Can I open the mail? No. Can I wear your necklace? No. When is dinner? No. What you probably wouldn't believe is how much I want to say yes. Yes, you can take two dozen books home from the library. Yes, you can eat the whole roll of SweeTarts. Yes, you can camp out on the deck. But the books will get lost, and SweeTarts will eventually make your tongue bleed, and if you sleep on the deck, the neighborhood racoons will nibble on you. I often wish I could come back to life as your uncle, so I could give you more. But, when you're the mom, your whole life is holding the rope against those wily secret agents who never, ever stop trying to get you to drop your end. — Kelly Corrigan

And you went out," he said, his tone pleased.
I said through the bubbles of toothpaste, "Had to. I got a case."
"Want to tell me about it?"
After rinsing, I headed back that way, still looking over the file. "That's a negatory. But I'd like to keep that option open. You know, if I get in trouble."
"So, you'll be telling me all about it by tomorrow afternoon. Have you talked to your dad? — Darynda Jones

Dinna worrit yourself, man," said Jamie's voice. "You'll learn. It's a bit difficult, isn't it, when your cock doesna stick out any further than your belly button?" I stuck my head around the corner, to find him seated on a chopping block, engaged in converse with his namesake, who was struggling manfully with the folds of his smock. "What are you doing with the child?" I inquired cautiously. "I'm teachin' young James here the fine art of not pissing on his feet," he explained. "Seems the least his uncle could do for him." I — Diana Gabaldon

People say, "Look, your book [Tales and Wisdom from Duck Dynasty's Favorite Uncle] is about tall tales." And I said, "No, you don't understand, OK? The book is tall tales, OK, by me. But look, those tall tales are my life, OK? And look, I added some spices in there. That's the five percent. You know the one about the wolves chasing me? The only thing about that - they wasn't wolves, they was coyotes". — Si Robertson

Jalal shook his head and moved toward Khalid. "She is. Please give her a chance to explain."
"Leave," Khalid commanded quietly.
"Don't let your fear and your distrust ruin this."
His uncle took Jalal by the shoulder.
"She loves you!" Jalal continued, his tone heedless. "This is not what it seems. Maybe it began as something else, but I would bet my life on what it is now. She loves you. Please don't fall to hate. You're not your father. You are so much more. She is so much more. — Renee Ahdieh

The flat top of the hill was scattered with the bodies of dead men in the uniforms of Sounis and Eddis. The outposts of both armies had met here. As I stood staring, I thought, These are my dead. All of them. The battle hadn't been unanticipated or forced on me, as the raid in the villa had been. I had chosen it. These men, Eddisian and Sounisian alike, had died for my decisions.
When the magus stepped from the bushes toward the back part of the hill, I was more than horrified. I was perilously close to distraught.
...
When he pulled away and looked into my face, I knew that he would tell me that I was Sounis and that I needed to pull myself together.
"Your uncle," he said, "in all the years I saw him rule, never had a moment of self-doubt. Never a regret for a single life lost. Do you understand?"
I understood that I didn't want to be my uncle. — Megan Whalen Turner

We shall trespass upon your aunt and uncle's hospitality only a little longer.'
You will, will you?'
Yes,' said Dumbledore simply, 'I shall. — J.K. Rowling

Perhaps that's a smile on Delia's face-but Delia's half skull turns every expression into a leer. She says, Your uncle had a talent, kid. He made families wherever he went. — Daryl Gregory

Hello. Do I know you?"
She smiled, showing surprisingly tiny white teeth, like a baby's, swaddled in pink gums. She said "Esmeralda Ulloa, I would hope that you know me. But I doubt you do."
I rocked back on my heels as she leaned in close, her black eyes snapping. "Tell your uncle I have what he's looking for," she said softly. "And if he asks me nicely, I might give it to him." She smiled again. "I'd rather give it to you, though. If you ask. — Elise Forier Edie

What about Danny Thomas?" Uncle Hal asks. "What happened to him?
"Dead," Uncle Abdelhafiz says. "Nice Lebanese boy."
"Never mind about Danny Thomas, look what happened to your whole family! Look at your cousin Farouq, Great Uncle Ziad, Auntie Seena and Jimmy's son Jalal," Aunt Jean cuts in disapprovingly.
"Dead, dead, dead, and in jail. — Diana Abu-Jaber

He cannot understand what a liar means, or he would know that he is one himself." "A man seldom has such knowledge as that." "Is it not so when he stigmatizes me in this way merely as an excuse to himself? He wants to be rid of me, - probably because I did not sit and hear him read the sermons. Let that pass. I may have been wrong in that, and he may be justified; but because of that he cannot believe really that I have been a liar, - a liar in such a determined way as to make me unfit to be his heir." "He is a fool, Harry! That is the worst of him." "I don't think it is the worst." "You cannot have worse. It is dreadful to have to depend on a fool, - to have to trust to a man who cannot tell wrong from right. Your uncle intends to be a good man. If it were brought home to him that he were doing a wrong he would not do it. He would not rob; he would not steal; he must not commit murder, and the rest of it. But he is a fool, and he does not know when he is doing these things. — Anthony Trollope

Imagine that you wanted your children to learn the names of all their cousins, aunts and uncles. But you never actually let them meet or play with them. You just showed them pictures of them, and told them to memorize their names. Each day you'd have them recite the names, over and over again. You'd say, "OK, this is a picture of your great-aunt Beatrice. Her husband was your great-uncle Earnie. They had three children, your uncles Harpo, Zeppo, and Gummo. Harpo married your aunt Leonie ... yadda, yadda, yadda." — Brian X. Foley

Next an Intimacy Consultant named Anita arrived. When Anita walked in she looked very studious. However, when she started to set up I would have never guessed that she did this for a living. First came all types of lingerie; see through, lacy, racy, edible, and even costumes.
"Okay," Phoebe cleared her throat. "The idea here is to purchase things for our dear Lilli to wear or use on her honeymoon." Phoebe giggled and I scowled at her.
"Don't waste your money," I spat quickly, earning a laugh from Maggie and Viola.
"Oh, honey, if Aidan is anything like his uncle then you will definitely want to get yourself some."
"Mom," Maggie yelled and covered her ears.
We all burst into laughter.
"I'm just saying," Viola shrugged. "Your father is quite - "
"Seriously? Seriously, mom? No ... Ew, ew, ew!" Maggie screamed as she left the room. "God, please let my car get here soon! — Sadie Grubor

Do you hurt uncle Kisten', he asked.( ... ) but Kisten beat me to it. "Only my heart, Audric," he said. "Ms. Rachel is like the sun. See her sparkling there with the wind in her hair and fire in her eyes? You can't catch the sun. You can only feel its touch on your face. And if you get too much of it, it burns you. — Kim Harrison

Lord Antesh," Uncle Sentes said. "I see no recognisable flag of truce, do you?" Antesh pursed his lips and shook his head. "Can't say as I do, my lord." "Well then." ". . . swift transportation to any land of your choice," the Volarian was saying, the scroll held in front of his eyes. "Plus one hundred pounds in gol - " He choked off as Antesh's arrow punched through the scroll and the breastplate beyond. He tumbled from the saddle and lay still, the scroll pinned to his chest. "Right," the Fief Lord said, turning away. "Let me know when the rest get here. — Anthony Ryan

The baron reminds me of someone, but I can't quite put my finger on who it is," Ramsey remarked.
"I swear my own father never talked to me the way Gillian's uncle just did."
"Your father died before you were old enough to know him."
"It was humiliating, damn it. He sure as certain wasn't what I expected. The way Gillian talked about him, I pictured a mild-mannered gentleman. She thinks he's ... gentle. Is the woman blind? How in God's name can she love such a crotchety old ... "
Ramsey's head snapped up, and he suddenly burst into laughter, breaking Brodick's train of thought. "It's you."
"What?"
"Morgan ... he reminds me of you. My God, Gillian married a man just like her uncle. Look at the baron and you'll see yourself in twenty years."
"Are you suggesting I'm going to become a belligerent, foul-tempered old man?"
"Hell, you're already belligerent and foul-tempered. No wonder she fell in love with you," he drawled — Julie Garwood

Ren grinned. "So ... you and lady tigers, eh? Is there something you want share, Kishan?"
Kishan shoved a forkful of dinner into his mouth and mumbled, "How about I share my fist with your face?"
"Wow. Sensitive, I'm sure your lady tiger friends were all very attractive. So am I an uncle? — Colleen Houck

He is a sodomite, and my sister is a whore, and perhaps a poisoner, and I am a whore. My uncle has been the falsest of friends, my father a time-server, my mother - God knows - some even say she had the king before the two of us! All of this you knew or you could have deduced. Now tell me, am I good enough for you? For I knew that you were a nobody and I came to find you all the same. If you want to rise to be a somebody in this court you will get blood or shit on your hands. I have had to learn this through a hard apprenticeship since I was a little girl. You can learn it now if you have the stomach." William — Philippa Gregory

I suggest that people walk around under the moon barefoot, as I have today. There's that voice of your mom and dad and aunt and big sister and uncle and annoying cousin in your ear saying "Your feet are going to get dirty and you're going to turn into a bat" so the defiance in the act of simply taking your shoes off and standing there under that moon - is astronomical. A dirty-feet-moonlit-defiance that will make you smile. — C. JoyBell C.

A bright haze seemed to lie over everything, and she had a feeling of unreality, but the scene itself looked almost unbelievably wholesome, like something out of a commercial. Just your average family sitting down to eat turkey, she thought. One slightly flustered aunt, worried that the peas will be mushy and the rolls burnt, one comfortable uncle-to-be, one golden-haired teenage niece and her baby sister. One blue-eyed boy-next-door type, one spritely girlfriend, one gorgeous vampire passing the vegetables. A typical American household. — L.J.Smith

Eating be eating, b'ain't it, Birdie?'
'Nay, Uncle Bear: In Caermelor, at the Royal Court, they be so-oh, so much more advanced than anywhere else. 'Tis not done to wipe your fingers on your hair or the tablecloth, or belch, or speak with your mouth full of food, or scratch, or pick your teeth at table. Ye have to use little forks to pick up the food. Ye not allowed to pour wine for your betters or for yourself, but to wait for them to deign to pour it for ye, if they be feeling generous. And the carving of the meats must be done a certain way, and as for the toasts-it would take ye a whole day just to learn the complications.
'Takes the fun out of eating,' observed Sianadh. — Cecilia Dart-Thornton

You're the one with the family tree that doesn't branch." She illustrated said tree with her fingers. "How many Egyptian gods slept with their brothers' and sisters' wife's mother's uncle's dogs? Hmm? I ask you?" He wasn't quite sure if he should be offended or amused by her attack on his family. Honestly, he had no real feelings for any of them other than hatred and disdain but ... "Have you visited your pantheon lately?" "We're not talking about my pantheon, here. Are we? No. We're insulting yours."
-Lydia and Seth- — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Uncle seemed to take pleasure from knowing things other people didn't. Silas did not like thinking this about the man who'd given them a place to live, but there was a sort of smirk hidden inside his uncle's words that made Silas feel like he was being laughed at. He knew that tone. He'd heard it often enough from kids at school, from the ones who'd look at you like you weren't worth talking to, from the ones who looked at your unfashionable clothes, or the shape of your face, and told everyone else that you were a freak. Silas was scared of those kids, because usually, those were the ones who didn't think that normal rules applied to them, the ones who thought they could get away with anything. — Ari Berk

So often when God places a call on one of His children, the ability to answer the call requires a separation between the old life and the new life. We are called away from the old in order to prepare our heart for what is to come. This can be a painful and difficult separation. Joseph was separated from his family. Jacob was sent to live with his uncle Laban. Moses was sent to the desert. Perhaps God has placed you in your own desert period. Perhaps you cannot make sense of the situation in which you find yourself. If you, like Paul, will get intimate with God during this time, He will reveal the purposes He has for you. The key is pressing into Him. Seek Him with a whole heart, and He will be found. — Os Hillman

He's like ... 'I thought you were just friends.' You are my friend. You're my best friend. Why doesn't he get that? Anyway ... I think he wants your dad to rally with him. I'm pretty sure he doesn't give a damn about the dry rot in the basement."
I quirked the corner of my mouth dubiously. Dad rallying with Gabriel was pretty unlikely, considering the lengths he had gone to in proving his approval.
Rafael took one look at me, horrified, and I knew we were on the same wavelength. He whispered: "If your dad gives my uncle the safe sex talk ... — Rose Christo

Maybe! Maybe! Maybe if your aunt had a beard, she'd be your uncle. — Alvah Bessie

It's no part of your job to think for the Lord," his great-uncle said. "Judgment may rack your bones. — Flannery O'Connor

If there's a noise in the woods, and there's nobody around to hear it, is it really a noise?"
"Of course it is," she replied calmly.
"How did you reach that conclusion?" Beldin demanded.
"Because there's no such thing as an empty place, uncle. There are always creatures around
wild animals, mice, insects, birds
and they can all hear."
"But what if there weren't? What if the woods are truly empty?"
"Why waste your time talking about an impossibility? — David Eddings

Holy crap, Caleb! You're my uncle." Nick
"No!" Caleb
"It's worse. He's the half-brother of your great-grandfather." Kody
"You're not helping." Caleb
"No, but I'm entertaining myself at your adorable expense." Kody
"Yeah, y'all are missing the important fact. To a Cajun, that makes him my uncle." Nick
"Great. I always wanted to be a monkey's uncle. Nice to know I finally succeeded." Caleb — Sherrilyn Kenyon

The point is, you should have stayed right where you were and let us handle this. Now we're going to have to tie up your uncle and put him in one of the cells or something until we sort out everything and can prove your innocence. — Lynsay Sands

Az men krigt zikh miten rov, muz men sholem zein miten shainker," Avi had said when he first put the rifle in Jacob's hands. The old Yiddish proverb could be roughly translated as, "If you're at odds with your rabbi, make peace with your bartender." His uncle offered no explanation, but as Jacob had chewed on its meaning, he had concluded that Avi meant something like, "Always be prepared" or "Have a plan B." The problem was, Jacob didn't want a plan B. He didn't want life to change. He wanted things to be the way they had always been. — Joel C. Rosenberg

Uncle Remus, who said to Uncle Ben, You're a credit to your rice. Never got a dinner! — Red Buttons

Literature is dead, my boy' the uncle replied. 'Look at these empty rooms, and these books buried in their dust; no one reads anymore; I am the guardian of a cemetery here, and exhumation is forbidden.' ... 'My boy, never speak of literature, never speak of art! Accept the situation as it is! You are Monsieur Boutardins ward before being your Uncle Huguenin's nephew! — Jules Verne

Waiting is one of life's hardships. It is hard enough to wait for chocolate cream pie while burnt roast beef is still on your plate. It is plenty difficult to wait for Halloween when the tedious month of September is still ahead of you. But to wait for one's adopted uncle to come home while a greedy and violent man is upstairs was one of the worst waits the Baudelaires had ever experienced. — Lemony Snicket

You can't tell me? You disappear one day without any kind of warning, without any kind of note ... you leave the gang and me and just competely vanish and nobody know where to find you, not even your uncle ... and now you appear again and now you can't tell me where you were? He was working himself into one of his Extremely Excited States, Jez realised. — L.J.Smith

Kosmina adored her new "foulmouthed but well-intentioned uncle." Because, as she put it, "Perhaps we aren't meant to understand him. Perhaps he's as much a puzzle as he is a puzzle master." Hear, hear, Kosmina. But I'm still sending your ass to Louisiana. — Kresley Cole

As my uncle always says, 'If your vibe outweighs your substance, you're destined to be a novelty.' I think that is true in all art. — Mat Kearney

I tell young people that people aren't just going to flock to you as your mentors. You have to seek them out. It could be your next-door neighbor; it could be somebody upstairs from you, somebody down the block from you. An aunt or an uncle. Some relative. A parent. — Judith Jamison

Some fears can be conquered...Others have a way of coming back around. Sometimes at the moment you least expect. Often with the very worst possible timing. Fear makes it hard to think. And when you can't think, it's hard to figure out your choices. When you can't see all your options, all you can do is react.

- Uncle Autry — Ingrid Law

It's healthy to say uncle when your bone's about to break. — Jonathan Franzen

I wanted to see if I could pick up some of those sticker badges you give out to kids. I like to give Jay a hard time about his little man-crush on you."
Her uncle's laugh filled his cramped office. "You're terrible, Vi. You act more like your aunt Kat every day. Has she been giving you lessons?" But he was already reaching into his desk drawer and pulling out a stack of the foil stickers. He slid them across the desk. "How's he ever gonna stop being so jumpy around me if you don't stop teasing him?"
This time Violet's smile was genuine. "Give him time, Uncle Stephen; he'll relax. He's just grateful, that's all. — Kimberly Derting

Why do charming girls all have fathers? She can be hidden away all by herself in one's heart to cuddle, but when her father, uncle, and brother are dragged along with her, the girl stops being so cute and carefree and it's not so easy to conceal her away in your heart anymore. Her charm has been mixed in with the dregs. Some people talk about marriage as though it were homosexual love. It's not the girl they fancy, but her old man or her elder brother they admire. — Qian Zhongshu

No offense, kid, but I have a strong desire to murder your uncle with extreme prejudice." "No offense taken," I said. "I'm tempted to help you. — Rick Riordan

I've always felt comfortable amongst the horrors. I married your uncle Gerard, after all. — Melika Dannese Lux

I was headed in the wrong direction. I didn't think I'd make it to 21. My Uncle Chuck saved my life. He was a graphic designer, and he gave me my first sketchbook. In the front, he wrote, 'Wear it like your underwear.' — Richard MacDonald

Dad told Uncle Seth not to screw things up," she informed me as we washed our hands. "He said even if Uncle Seth is famous, him getting a woman like you defies belief."
I laughed and smoothed down the skirt of my dress. "I don't know about that. I don't think your dad gives your uncle enough credit."
Brandy gave me a sage look, worthy of someone much older. "Uncle Seth spent last Valentine's Day at a library. — Richelle Mead