You Take The Piss Quotes & Sayings

It's two A.M. "To sleep or to write that is the question?" Whether it tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of my piss poor punctuation or take arms against a sea of keys with so many new possibilities. — Stanley Victor Paskavich

Hey, I gotta take a piss. Want to come with me? Said no man ever. — Pamela Clare

Singling out "women's fiction" for genre derision never fails to piss me off. Somehow worse when women do it. Case in pt: Editor says crowd-sourcing editorial for romance & erotica not bad idea b/c "no great artistry at stake" Yes, genre fiction not high art. But it's a craft we take seriously, writing for love of storytelling, not writing whatever sells. — Kelley Armstrong

Vince didn't seem impressed, more like bored. He uncrossed then re-crossed his legs so tightly, he either had to take a piss, or he'd been cursed with balls the size of grapes and a dick like a gherkin. It just wasn't normal for a guy to do that. — J.C. Isabella

If you were to sit me down in a classroom, with fluorescent lights humming and some woman trying to teach me Italian, there's no way. But scream goes to Italy, we stay in a squat, and the only way you can ask someone where to take a piss is to do it in Italian. So I learned Italian. — Dave Grohl

Word of advice for any young man that might want to take out Malia or Sasha Obama - Their father can order an assassination, don't piss him off. — David C. Holley

Man, who did you piss off today? Laundry and kitchen? Just take the damn drugs next time, Blanky, you might live longer. — Ashley Newell

If you'd just told me you wanted her for yourself, I wouldn't have opened my mouth. Asshole."
"He doesn't want me for himself," Melanie said. "He isn't looking for a relationship."
"It doesn't matter if he's looking," Richart grumbled. "He's found one. The two of you can't take your eyes off each other. And in the rare moments you do, you usually touch."
"What?" Bastien said the same time Melanie did.
Was she as appalled that her feelings were so transparent as he was?
"Don't worry." Richart drew out a handkerchief and wiped his crimson lips. "I doubt anyone else has noticed. Bastien is usually too busy pissing them all off."
"He doesn't piss you off?" Melanie asked.
"Other than just now" - Richart glared at Bastien - "no. I've spent enough time in his company that I've become immune to his bullshit. — Dianne Duvall

That's the beauty of Karma. You can piss it off so it throws a truckload of crap back at you, but you can fight it. You can tell it to piss off back to wherever it came from and take matters into your own hands, 'cause what's the use in your life if you ain't got a say in it? — Emma Hart

You didn't kill him, did you?"

"No. I locked him in the chapel but it won't hold. Which reminds me, could I borrow your sword? You're not going to use it, anyway."

Royce handed him the falchion sword that had been part of his castle guard disguise. Hadrian took the weapon, slipped it from its sheath, and weighed it in his hand. "I tell you, these swords are terrible. They are heavy and have all the balance of a drunken three-legged dog trying to take a piss." He then looked at Arista and added, "Oh, excuse me, Your Highness. How are you doing, Princess? — Michael J. Sullivan

Travis punched his palm. "Do you want me to go beat the piss out of Finch? Teach him a lesson? I'll take him out."
I couldn't help but smile. "If I wanted to take Finch out, I'd just tell him Prada went out of business, and he'd finish the job for me. — Jamie McGuire

For chrissake folks what is this life if full of care we have no time to stand and stare? Take off your shoes for a while, unzip your fly, piss hearty, dig your toes in the hot sand, feel that raw and rugged earth, split a couple of big toenails, draw blood! Why not? — Edward Abbey

I'd sooner drink a pint of piss than take the word of any Frey. — George R R Martin

The government hates rap. That's why they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers! Only the good ones are dead, man! Only the good ones: Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive! They don't fill out a police report. They don't even have a chalk line when it's a dead rapper, they just take a piss around the body. — Chris Rock

You can be a cocky asshole to me. I deal with little pricks like you all of the time. But you leave Jenn the hell alone or the next time you take a piss, it will be through a fucking tube. Do we understand each other? — Teresa Mummert

I'm going to be everything you never wanted,' I warn on a gruff breath, 'nothing that you need.'
I slide my other hand farther up her thigh.
'Sometimes my work will take me away, and I won't call, and I'll piss you off.'
I graze my longest finger over the silky V covering her sex.
'I'll be selfish. I'll take everything I want, whenever I want it. I'm not the man of your dreams, Melanie, I'm your worst nightmare. — Katy Evans

Choosing sides, the captain of the Red Team says, "We'll give you our best -pitcher. ... "
And we'll take the kid who picks his nose and eats it. And we'll take the kid who smells like piss. We'll take the leper and the left-handed Satanist and the HIV-infected hemophiliac and the hermaphrodite and the pedophile. We'll take drug addiction and we'll take JPEGs of the world instead of the world, MP3s instead of music, and we'll trade real life for sitting at a keyboard. We'll spot you happiness and we'll spot you humanity, and we'll sacrifice mercy just so long as you keep Cannibal at bay. — Chuck Palahniuk

I am, he thought dimly, watching a vampire take a piss. — Stephen King

See something you like?"

Miller tensed, going tight as a guitar string. "No, but God...Have you ever seen a dick that big before?"

Garrett couldn't resist teasing Miller a little. "Every morning when I take a piss."

"You wish." Miller tore his gaze away from the room's occupants and turned to stare at Garrett. "I remember your dick just fine, and it didn't look anything like that."

"Ah. Now you've gone and hurt my dick's feelings. Maybe you should kiss and make up. — Amanda Young

-"What do you think people want, if it's not greatness and to be remembered for all time?"
-"Mostly? I believe people want to eat a good lunch, and then take a good piss. — Barbara Kingsolver

You planning on getting in our way again when we take him down? (Justin)
Boy, you better take that tone and flush it. I'm not a Squire you're talking to; I happen to be one of the guys you answer to. It ain't none of your damned business why I'm going. You just don't move until I tell you to or I'm going to show you how I once made Wyatt Earp piss his drawers. (Jess) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

But Theon Greyjoy found himself wondering why any man would climb the snow-slick steps to the battlements in the black of night just to take a piss. — George R R Martin

A man must always take advantage of opportunities to piss and sleep. I've done the one, now it's time to do the other. — Hunter Shea

I remember him. Jaxton only knew I existed long enough to take the piss out of me. He certainly never liked me." Roman sighed, giving his side of the story, though it was a slanted
one. Only three people knew the real story; him, Jaxton and Ben, and it was far from the tale of bully and victim that Jaxton kept telling people.
"Yeah, that's what he said," Thayer agreed, with a laugh.
Roman wasn't even surprised. Disappointed, but never surprised. — Elaine White

You have to know a subject intimately, inside and out, research it thoroughly ... if you want to successfully take the piss out of it. — Michelle Knight

People know I'm smart. And people know that, whether it's SNL or Jimmy Kimmel, it's a trend to take the piss out of celebrity - just as much of a trend as wearing a gray hoodie or driving a Prius. — Kanye West

You stand in front of an electric fence and whip your dick out to take a piss on it, it's pretty clear you're about to make a mistake. Other than that, you pretty much have no way of knowing. — Justin Halpern

Australians say 'pissed off.' Pissed means drunk. Piss is alcohol. To take the piss
that means to send someone up, make fun of them. — Geraldine Brooks

Sometimes, in order to be true to yourself, you have to piss some people off. And you have to write some people off. And you have to step on some toes. And sometimes, you have to take some giant steps backward to go forward. Every once in a while you need to go back and make that right turn you missed somewhere along the line. It's — Becky Durfee

Any place that manufactures humans into weapons is going to piss off a couple members of X-Force. I always want a personal reason for why these characters take on these missions, — Rick Remender

Well, I don't know what to do first. I mean, should I take the piss out of you" - he points at me - "for the TV interview? Or you" - he points at James - "for the fan mail? — Sarah Mason

Dad had this story. A Marine and a Navy guy walk into a bathroom together. They both take a piss, and then sailor goes to the sink. The Marine heads for the door, and the sailor says, "Hey- in the Navy they teach us to wash up after we take a leak." And the Marine turns around and says, "Yeah? Well, in the Marines they teach us not to piss on our hands. — Keith R.A. DeCandido

All got really plastered after that. Was completely fantastic evening. As Tom said, if Miss Havisham had had some jolly flatmates to take the piss out of her she would never have stayed so long in her wedding dress. — Helen Fielding

People are taking the piss out of you everyday. They butt into your life, take a cheap shot at you and then disappear. They leer at you from tall buildings and make you feel small. They make flippant comments from buses that imply you're not sexy enough and that all the fun is happening somewhere else. They are on TV making your girlfriend feel inadequate. They have access to the most sophisticated technology the world has ever seen and they bully you with it. They are The Advertisers and they are laughing at you. — Banksy

On the TV and in the newspapers all we hear and read is 'live your life or the terrorists win' and it sounds great, I'm all for that, except my kids won't ask for a bathroom pass because the faculty facilities are on the first floor of the building and the MPs patrolling the second floor won't go downstairs on their shift - so I've got middle school kids afraid to take a piss because there might be a soldier in the stall next to them carrying a loaded M- 16 - but hell yes, I'm all for 'live your life' and screw the terrorists, and screw all the countries who harbor and support them. I'm on board with that, except I've got these kids who stay home now, because they're scared riding a bus with soldiers carrying guns, knowing that one soldier isn't enough, so there's a military truck full of soldiers with even bigger guns following the bus 'just in case. — Tucker Elliot

No buts, nothing. You have the ability to piss me off without even trying, but I'll fucking take a gun to my head before I lay a hand on you. You clear on that? — Nalini Singh

How do you know all this?" Delara asked.
"I'm the Prism," Gavin said. "Five minutes."
"You can't treat us like this. We aren't slaves to take your orders. What will you do if we don't let you go?" Klytos Blue asked.
Turning cold eyes on the little man, Gavin said, "I'll kill you and piss on your corpse." He meant it.
Klytos Blue's mouth dropped open. His wasn't the only one. — Brent Weeks

Piss off Satan and don't take me for dumber than I look. — William S. Burroughs

Our neighbors shake their heads And take their valuables inside While my countrymen piss in the fountains To express their national pride. — Billy Bragg

If the next stop's Wichita Falls, I better take a piss too," Otis agreed. — Scott Hildreth

You just like to piss me off," Jack said.
"Well, there's that. On the other hand, we'll find out really fast just how much of a bastard you're going to be to live with - with your woman around. You get out of line, and I'll have to take you out behind the barn."
"We don't have a barn."
"I told you we needed a barn, damn it," Ken said. "You had to have a shop. It doesn't sound the same saying I'm taking you out behind the shop. — Christine Feehan

He is asking Caroline to produce a list," Georgina explained.
"What sort of list?" Finchley asked.
"A list of women to marry," Hugh said feeling as if his idea had been a stupid one. Now even Finchbird would take the piss out of him as well.
"I find that one wife is more than enough," his brother-in-law said grinning. — Julia Quinn

I'm not a stray," he said. "I'm. Not. Right. In. The. Head." He jabbed his temple, and the bump on my own head seemed to throb. "I'm fucking rabid and mangy, and I'll piss all over your carpets if I stick around long enough. I'll take what you give me, but I'm not nice, Adrian. — C.M. McKenna

I really try as hard as I can on the show. If people can't see my face, if they can't see my sweat beads or at least that I'm struggling, that I'm not just pretending or going through the motions, then who can blame them for thinking that it's some kind of ridiculous piss-take? — John Maus

The multitude will hardly believe the excessive force of education, and in the difference of modesty between men and women, ascribe that to nature, which is altogether owing to early instruction: Miss is scarce three years old, but she's spoke to every day to hide her leg, and rebuked in good earnest if she shows it; whilst little Master at the same age is bid to take up his coats, and piss like a man. — Bernard De Mandeville

I take it you didn't get the permits ... again. (Brian)
What was your first clue? (Geary)
Oh, I don't know. That stomping stance as you walked down the street, clenching and unclenching your fists like you're already choking someone, or maybe it's that way you're looking at me like you could claw out my eyes when I haven't done anything to piss you off. (Brian)
Yes, you have. (Geary)
And that is? (Brian)
You don't have a gun. (Geary) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Scott smirked. "You know it's always worse when you're around. And I still think I can keep up with you. Of course, you're going to drive off, go back home, drink a fifth and play guitar all night and not feel a thing. On the other hand, I'll be up thirteen times to take a piss before five AM, have a hella case of acid reflux and sore fingers from shredding guitar strings. — Carrie Clevenger

The deaths, well, they did stack up, one after another. Kind of hard not to take them personally. Did I blame myself? Hell to the no. Did it piss me off and make me want to douse the entire compound in gasoline and start throwing matches? Hell yes. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

That girl loves you, Gray. We're going to get out of this, and when we do-I'd bet a hundred sovereigns to one, Sophia will be there waiting for you."
"Sophia?" Gray blinked. "Her name is Sophia?"
Joss chuckled. "I was right. You didn't know."
"But-" Gray scratched the back of his neck. "But how did you? Since when have you known her name?"
Joss shrugged, his expression composed. "Since sometime yesterday." He laughed at Gray's befuddled silence. "When you dropped your trousers to take a piss. It's painted on your arse. — Tessa Dare

It's a sort of piss-take on culture, because a drag queen is a clown - a parody of our society. It's a sarcastic spoof on culture, which allows us to laugh at ourselves - but in a way that is inclusive of everyone. — RuPaul

We investigate, we prepare, we execute. We find them, we take them down, and then we piss on their ancestors' graves. — Lee Child