Witty Comebacks Quotes & Sayings

(About a cookbook ... )
- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor ... but they ends up Tarts. — Terry Pratchett

And the challenge in the next round would be determined by the winner of this test. "Like, what, the DOM-matrix?" ~Tara Reese — Lucian Bane

What are you - Secret Service?'
'If I were, I wouldn't admit it.'
'And you're not admitting it, I notice. — Robert Goddard

I have abstained from expressing any opinion, so far," says Mr. Superintendent, with his military voice still in good working order. "I have now only one remark to offer, on leaving this case in your hands. There IS such a thing, Sergeant, as making a mountain out of a mole-hill. Good-morning."
"There is also such a thing as making nothing out of a mole-hill, in consequence of your head being too high to see it." Having returned his brother-officer's compliment in those terms, Sergeant Cuff wheeled about, and walked away to the window by himself. — Wilkie Collins

Ranta: Let's just pray that she actually is a tsundere... Though, if she were a tsundere, obviously, the one she'd go dere for is me, you know? That's kind of... not so bad, I guess?

Moguzo: O-Obviously, she wouldn't go dere for Ranta, I think...

Ranta: Oh, shut up, Moguzo! — Ao Jyumonji

Laurence the last time I saw something like you I flushed it away. — Mark A. Cooper

When all by myself, I can think of all kinds of clever remarks, quick comebacks to what no one said, and flashes of witty sociability with nobody. But all of this vanishes when I face someone in the flesh: I lose my intelligence, I can no longer speak, and after half an hour I just feel tired. Talking to people makes me feel like sleeping. Only my ghostly and imaginary friends, only the conversations I have in my dreams, are genuinely real and substantial. — Fernando Pessoa

How dare you. Do you have any idea who I am?" Laurence whined.
"I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one. — Mark A. Cooper

-"He loved her ... It was noble of him. It was beautiful."
-"It was stupid. — Lloyd Alexander

...to go to a dance with a guy who has all the personality of a serial killer mixed with a sponge. — J.A. Beard