Winnicott Quotes & Sayings

In front of the photograph of my mother as a child, I tell myself: she is going to die: I shudder, like winnicott's psychotic patient, over a catastrophe which has already occurred. Whether or not the subject is already dead, every photograph is this catastrophe. — Roland Barthes

Whether or not the historical Buddha actually suffered from the kind of primitive agonies Winnicott expounded upon, the meditations he taught in the aftermath of his awakening "hold" the mind just as Winnicott described a mother "holding" an infant. In making the observational posture of mindfulness central to his technique, the Buddha established another version of "an auxiliary ego-function" in the psyches of his followers, one that enabled them, to go back to his metaphor of pulling out an arrow, to tend to their own wounds with both their minds and their hearts. Far from eliminating the ego, as I naively believed I should when I first began to practice meditation, the Buddha encouraged a strengthening of the ego so that it could learn to hold primitive agonies without collapse. — Mark Epstein

The fact that grief takes so long to resolve is not a sign of inadequacy, but betokens depth of soul. — Donald Woods Winnicott

There is for many a poverty of play. — Donald Woods Winnicott

Now I want to say: 'After being - doing and being done to. But first, being. — D.W. Winnicott

The capacity to still feel wonder is essential to the creative process. — Donald Woods Winnicott

We fight to exist. Personally, I am not ashamed of fighting to exist. We are doing no very extraordinary thing to fight simply because we do not wish to be enslaved or exterminated. — Donald Woods Winnicott

Play like dreams serves the function of self realization. — Donald Woods Winnicott

I thought of the analyst Winnicott's observation: 'It is a joy to be hidden but disaster not to be found'. — Susie Orbach

The presence of the other, which can be very threatening, becomes, in play, a delightful source of curiosity, and this curiosity contributes toward the development of healthy attitudes in friendship, love, and, later, political life. Winnicott — Martha C. Nussbaum

The mother gazes at the baby in her arms, and the baby gazes at his mother's face and finds himself therein ... provided that the mother is really looking at the unique, small, helpless being and not projecting her own expectations, fears, and plans for the child. In that case, the child would find not himself in his mother's face, but rather the mother's own projections. This child would remain without a mirror, and for the rest of his life would be seeking this mirror in vain. — Donald Woods Winnicott

In his seminal article, "The Capacity to Be Alone," psychoanalyst and child development expert D. W. Winnicott asserted that the ability to be alone "is one of the most important signs of maturity in emotional development. — Laurie A. Helgoe

Though you work like mad to keep parts of you undiscovered, it is horrible to imagine that you will be completely successful. As the psychologist D.W. Winnicott wrote, It is a joy to be hidden, but a disaster not to be found. — Jennifer Michael Hecht

Tell me what you fear and I will tell you what has happened to you. — D.W. Winnicott

It is always true to say when reviewing one of this patient's sessions that if she could scream she would be well," wrote Winnicott. "The great non-event of every session is screaming."6 The Burmese master who counseled Sharon was making much the same point. In encouraging her to cry her heart out, he was countering her inclination to make crying the "great non-event" of every meditation session. Like the Burmese teacher, Winnicott felt that if his patient could cry her heart out, her psyche would grow. — Mark Epstein

There is no such thing as a baby, there is a baby and someone. — Donald Woods Winnicott

If mothers are told to do this or that or the other, ... they lose touch with their own ability to act ... Only too easily they feel incompetent. If they must look up everything in a book, they are always too late even when they do the right things, because the right things have to be done immediately. It is only possible to act at exactly the right point when the action is intuitive or by instinct, as we say. The mind can be brought to bear on the problem afterwards. — Donald Woods Winnicott

It's a poor thing to be sane! — Donald Woods Winnicott

Winnicott also cites the hostile lullabies mothers sing to babies, who fortunately do not understand the words. For example: Rockabye, Baby, on the treetop, When the wind blows the cradle will rock, When the bough breaks the cradle will fall, And down will come baby, cradle and all. — Irvin D. Yalom

Creativity consists in maintaining a key aspect of the experience of childhood throughout one's life: the capacity to create and recreate the world. Creativity is the omnipotence of the child's mind. — Donald Woods Winnicott

I don't mind saying in advance that in my opinion jealousy is normal and healthy. Jealousy arises out of the fact that children love. If they have no capacity to love, then they don't show jealousy. — Donald Woods Winnicott

At the beginning these two things, the real and the imaginative life, are one and the same thing, because the infant at the beginning does not perceive objectively, but lives in a subjective state, being the creator of all. Gradually, in health the infant becomes able to perceive a world that is a not-me world, and to attain this state the infant must be cared for well enough at the time of absolute dependence. — D.W. Winnicott

It is a joy to be hidden, and disaster not to be found. — D.W. Winnicott

It is not possible to be original except on a basis of tradition. — D.W. Winnicott

We are poor indeed if we are only sane. — D.W. Winnicott

Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide. — D.W. Winnicott

The scientific approach to the phenomenon of human nature enables us to be ignorant without bieng frightened, and without, therefore, having to invent all sorts of wierd theories to explain away our gaps in knowledge. — Donald Woods Winnicott

However, it can't be helped; mothers, if they do their job properly, are the representatives of the hard, demanding world and it is they who gradually introduce reality which is so often the enemy of impulse. There is anger with mother and hatred is somewhere even when there is absolutely no doubt of love that is mixed with adoration. — Donald Woods Winnicott

I would rather be the child of a mother who has all the inner conflicts of the human being than be mothered by someone for whom all is easy and smooth, who knows all the answers, and is a stranger to doubt. — Donald Woods Winnicott

It is in playing, and perhaps only in playing, that the child is free to be creative. — Donald Woods Winnicott

The child is alone only in the presence of someone. — D.W. Winnicott

Feeling real is more than existing; it is finding a way to exist as oneself ... and to have a self into which to retreat for relaxation. — Donald Woods Winnicott

Nevertheless, with reference to the natural process of childbirth one thing can seldom be forgotten, the fact that the human infant has an absurdly big head. — D.W. Winnicott

What is a normal child like? Does he just eat and grow and smile sweetly? No, that is not what he is like. The normal child, if he has confidence in mother and father, pulls out all the stops. In the course of time, he tries out his power to disrupt, to destroy, to frighten, to wear down, to waste, to wangle, and to appropriate ... At the start he absolutely needs to live in a circle of love and strength (with consequent tolerance) if he is not to be too fearful of his own thoughts and of his imaginings to make progress in his emotional development. — D.W. Winnicott

There is for many a poverty of play and cultural life because, although the person had a place for erudition, there was a relative failure on the part of those who constitute the child's world of persons to introduce cultural elements at the appropriate phases of the person's personality development. — D.W. Winnicott

The precursor of the mirror is the mother's face. — Donald Woods Winnicott

It's only too easy to idealise a mother's job. We know well that every job has its frustrations and its boring routines and its times of being the last thing anyone would choose to do. Well, why shouldn't the care of babies and children be thought of that way too? — Donald Woods Winnicott

The most aggressive and therefore the most dangerous words in the languages of the world are to be found in the assertion I AM. — D.W. Winnicott

It is in playing and only in playing that the individual child or adult is able to be creative and to use the whole personality, and it is only in being creative that the individual discovers the self. — D.W. Winnicott