Why Do Guys Quotes & Sayings

Mr. Bingham said, "Hey, you guys are supposedly psychic. Why didn't you see that coming and warn the girl?"
Mom sighed. "Again, we don't see the future."
"Yeah. You're a bunch of frauds."
I'd had it. My frustration boiled over. I turned to Mrs. Bingham. "Do you know a Jane Sutherland?"
Confusion swept over her delicate features. "Yes, she used to be my husband's secretary before he was laid off. What about her?"
"He wasn't laid off. He was fired. The company has rules against boinking your secretary, even though your husband apparently has no qualms with the matter."
"Clarity!" Mom screamed. — Kim Harrington

If you put it as 'complex nervous systems' it sounds pretty deflationary. What's so special about a complex nervous system? But of course, that complex nervous system allows you to do calculus. It allows you to do astrophysics ... to write poetry ... to fall in love. Put under that description, when asked 'What's so special about humans ... ?', I'm at a loss to know how to answer that question. If you don't see why we'd be special ... because we can do poetry [and] think philosophical thoughts [and] we can think about the morality of our behavior, I'm not sure what kind of answer could possibly satisfy you at that point.
... I could pose the same kinds of questions of you ... So God says, 'You are guys are really, really special.' How does his saying it make us special? 'But you see, he gave us a soul.' How does our having a soul make us special? Whatever answer you give, you could always say ... 'What's so special about that? — Shelly Kagan

Vere spoke again, "You want us to hide this six-foot-three, positively gorgeous, famous rock star - one who has sports-drink blue eyes BY THE WAY - and who is absolutely PERFECT looking, at Palmer Divide High? In this town? In my junior class?"
"Yes," Mrs. Roth answered. "Why is it such a difficult concept for you to grasp?"
"Because guys who look like that." She pointed a finger at him. "Do not come from this town. In addition to the face, he's too tall, and he's got the posture of some Russian - ballerina! And did you not notice his voice?"
"What's wrong with my voice?" Hunter frowned.
"It's all LOW and, SUPER-MANLY-AMAZING," she modulated her voice down, trying to sound like him.
Charlie cracked up, and Hunter had to bury his own laugh. — Anne Eliot

You're just a young kid. What are you doin' here? You oughta be out in a convertible, why ... bird-doggin' chicks and bangin' beaver. What are ya doin' here, for Christ's sake? What's funny about that? Jesus, I mean, you guys do nothin' but complain about how you can't stand it in this place here and then you haven't got the guts just to walk out! — Ken Kesey

See, we live in a phallus obsessed culture, where we're all brought up to believe that everything having to do with gender and sexuality somehow revolves around the penis. That's why so many clueless straight guys come on to dykes with pickup lines like "Once you've had the real thing, baby, you won't ever go back." Some men actually believe that phallocentric crap! And it's also why most people can't even talk about transsexual women or SRS without centring the discussion on the penis. But my desire to have SRS has virtually nothing to do with my penis. This is about my wanting to have a clitoris and vagina. But we don't even have the language to describe this desire. — Julia Serano

Some people can do things and get away with it. Comics are famously like that. Why is it that some guys can say the most horrible things and it's not offensive, it's funny? — Christopher Walken

You don't have to be best friends as basketball players but I do believe in chemistry. I think it makes everything different if a team is really together and they're all on that same page. They might not like each other, per se, but if you're on the same page and the chemistry is there, you can play great basketball. You can go back to teams like Detroit, the Bad Boys. Those guys had great chemistry, that's why they won. — Dwight Howard

When I was there at Marvel, everybody thought if you could draw well and you could do sensational panels, that you were going to be a success. The truth is that no matter how good or bad you are as a draftsman, if you can't tell a story, you don't last in comics ... About halfway through my stay at Marvel, I realized I was being paid to tell a story, not do a drawing. That's why my stuff is always rather simple and uncomplicated compared to a lot of guys. — John Romita, Sr.

Pete Kilner, of West Point's Center for the Advancement of Leader Development and Organizational Learning, recalls a company commander in Iraq telling him why he'd stayed very strict about the rules of engagement in the war's very worst days. "The guys hate me now," Kilner recounts him saying, "but they're going to thank me for the rest of their lives. I saw what happened in 2003. The guys who were out there being the mad killers everyone thought were so cool, they came back, they drank and beat their wives. They divorced and killed themselves. I'm not going to let my guys do that. — Phil Zabriskie

There was a crackle. Kobe's voice came through the cans. "What would you guys do," he said, apropos of nothing, "if Jules turned into a lizard?"

Another crackle. "Hey!" Jules said.

"It wouldn't happen," said Jacob, and I saw him shrug in the half-light.

"But what if?"

I pressed the talk button on my cans. "There's an old fish tank in our garage," I said. "I'd put Jules in it, and then get a heat rock from the pet shop."

I heard Sam's low chuckle. "Make sure you wash your hands first."

"Why?"

"So you don't get any lizardy diseases."

"I don't have any lizardy diseases!" Jules's voice was getting higher.

"Not yet, but wait until you're a lizard."

"What's a heat rock?" asked Jacob.

"It's a rock," I told him, "that you heat up. Lizards like them. Anyway, once I'd done that, I'd take you to see my cousin Adam."

"IS HE A WIZARD? — Lili Wilkinson

Some of the guys I played with .. didn't go around learning more about their instruments from an intellectual point of view. All they wanted was to play hot jazz, and the instrument was just a means. I'd imagine that a lot of them criticized me-said my technique was too good. Something like that. But I've always wanted to know what made music. How you do it, and why it sounds good. I always practiced, worked like hell. — Benny Goodman

He returned his gaze to the spotlight, focusing on the person to the right of it. That was his best guess at who'd been doing the talking. "My name is Thomas. This is Brenda. We know Gally - we were with him at WICKED and he told us about the Right Arm and what you guys are doing a few days ago. We were on board to help, but not like this. We just want to know what you're planning, why you're kidnapping immune people and locking them up. I thought that was WICKED kind of stuff." Thomas didn't know what he'd expected, but the guy started to chuckle. "I think I'll let you see the boss just so you get the damn idea out of your head that we'd ever do anything like WICKED. — James Dashner

One of the guys that used to run it - for some reason I've no idea why he used to call me the Sea Monster and I was just looking around for a name and thought that'll do. That lasted for a couple of years probably. — Jo Brand

Why did they do it? Beats the hell out of me. I was just a scared kid from Kentucky, and these guys had been up in the majors for a while. I guess it was because I was just such a helluva nice kid - if you'll accept that. — Pee Wee Reese

Guys think I'm staring them down, but they watch ME for signs. Why can't I do the same to them? — Roy Oswalt

That would do the trick," he said hoarsely. "Jesus, Harper, I don't understand why we don't have guys following us from town to town just to watch you do that."
"Because I've never done it for anyone but you," I said. "You don't think I'd say something like that to anyone else, do you?"
"Please," he said. "Please do that for me. And no one else. — Charlaine Harris

He thought here you are Joe Bonham lying like a side of beef all the rest of your life and for what? Somebody tapped you on the shoulder and said come along son we're going to war. So you went. But why? In any other deal even like buying a car or running an errand you had the right to say what's there in it for me? Otherwise you'd be buying bad cars for too much money or running errands for fools and starving to death. It was a kind of duty you owed yourself that when anybody said come on son do this or do that you should stand up and say look mister why should I do this for who am I doing it and what am I going to get out of it in the end? But when a guy comes along and says here come with me and risk your life and maybe die or be crippled why then you've got no rights. You haven't even the right to say yes or no or I'll think it over. There are plenty of laws to protect guys' money even in war time but there's nothing on the books says a man's life's his own. Of — Dalton Trumbo

We've had to deal with so many complications. We're still dealing with them. And what can we do? Nothing - well, unless we take your side's point of view and make deals with the devil. But why? Why can't we make deals with God?
People do all the time. 'God, if you do this for me, I promise to be good.' Stuff like that.
Yeah, but I don't see any contracts like you guys have. No hard evidence that it works. How come we can only get things we want by being bad? Why can't we get them by being good? — Richelle Mead

Ultimately, the main reasons why I will be chubby for life are (1) I have virtually no hobbies except dieting. I can't speak any non-English languages, knit, ski, scrapbook, or cook. I have no pets. I don't know how to do drugs. I lost my passport three years ago when I moved into my house and never got it renewed. Video games scare me because they all seem to simulate situations I'd hate to be in, like war or stealing cars. So if I ever lost weight I would also lose my only hobby; (2) I have no discipline; I'm like if Private Benjamin had never toughened up but, in fact, got worse; (3) Guys I've dated have been into me the way I am; and (4) I'm pretty happy with the way I look, so long as I don't break a beach chair. — Mindy Kaling

Clue in, Ally," he immediately volleyed, "Watchin' the Rock Chicks, I know exactly what does and does not fly with you, and just like every one of those men when their women serves up attitude, I don't give a shit. And, just sayin', that attitude, just like with them, is why I'm with you."
"What?" I bit out.
"Babe, every one of those guys had pussy lined up at the door. Bitches were gagging for it. They'd do anything to get their hooks into those men and those men knew it. They didn't want a woman who'd do anything. They wanted a woman who knew her own mind and wouldn't do anything. Not a single one of your posse lets their man walk all over them. And not a single one lets them get away with shit. At least not without dishin' up a fair amount of attitude before they let them get away with it which is the definition of not letting them get away with it. — Kristen Ashley

I'm not sure why I'm so drawn to heroes who do bad things and to villains who think they're the good guys, but I do find that moral ambiguity and conflict makes for great characters. — Barry Eisler

But you helped me and Arik. Why would you do that if you really feel that way? (Geary)
What can I say? It's so much more enjoyable to snatch victory from the hands of the gullible. You guys make the most delightful sound of agony when you're betrayed. (Solin) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Why should we, the brains of the military, have so much anxiety about our contribution to the war that we feel we have to ape Special Forces guys?
To Fitzgerald commandos were just glorified jocks - pitchers and quarterbacks from suburban high schools who traded baseballs for bullets. There's no doubt they had skills. They could slither right up to the enemy on their stomachs survive on worms for days and plunk a target with a piece of lead from a mile away. All very impressive. But they couldn't speak Arabic or juggle a million intelligence requirements and 703 follow-up questions from the community while sitting three feet away from some Islamic firebrand who has no reason to talk.
"Do you think those Special Forces guys are wracked with Interrogator envy?" Fitzgerald would say. "You think they're over there in their special sunglasses polishing their special weapons saying 'man if only I could do some hot-shit interrogations and write some hot-shit reports? — Chris Mackey

Do you know how many guys I've been with?" Kyle asked, meeting her eyes for just a moment. "So many. You know why? Because in that moment, just before you let them fuck you, you're the center of their universe. It lasts just seconds, but I like that feeling. I crave that feeling.
"This morning - last night? Whenever it was, standing in that church in front of him? I had that feeling. I was the center of his universe. And we had all our clothes on. That feeling lasted for hours." Kyle closed her eyes as if to transport herself back there. — Debra Anastasia

Guys, particularly in the West, go to the gym and train for hours and hours to pick up something that is heavier than them. Why would you want to do that? — Robert Carlyle

It's not that I think you're weaker, I know you are." He eyed me over his glass of milk. " I'm not trying to be obnoxious by saying that. You are weaker than us."
"Maybe physically but not mentally or .. morally." I countered.
"Morally?" He sounded confused.
"Yeah, like, I'm not going to tell the world about you guys to get money. And if I was captured by an Arum, I wouldn't bring them back to you all."
"Wouldn't you?"
Offended, I leaned back and folded my arms. "No. I wouldn't"
"Even if your life was threatened?" Disbelief colored his tone.
"Shaking my head, I laughed. "Just because I'm human doesn't mean I'm a coward or unethical. I'd never do anything that would put Dee in danger. Why would my life be more valuable than hers? Now yours ... debatable. But not Dee. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

When you're angry, you can't fight rationally. Your body chemistry is all messed up. Your energy goes to all the wrong places. You can't do anything well except get angrier. That's why I like fighting guys who are pumped up on steroids. Fighting is all about relaxing and releasing tension, so your body is flexible and fluid, able to bend and flex quickly, like water. I like fighting angry guys who are really tense. They can't think right, and they can't fight right. — Frank Shamrock

I mean honestly, who just sits around in a house with a bunch of short guys waiting for their prince to come? So your mom is a bitch and wants to kill you because her mirror told her to? Cry me a river why don't you? Your big plan is sitting around cleaning house waiting for the other shoe to drop? And speaking of shoes, everyone has been picked on by mean girls. You do not wait for some old lady to pop in and transmogrify some innocent rodents just so you can sneak in to a dance under false pretenses. And let's say you do sneak in. For the love of all that is holy take your mask off and look the guy in the face and say. "Hi, I'm Cindy from down the street, I have this thing at midnight. Can we do coffee later?" This nonsense with a shoe and searching the entire village for one girl, it's crap. — John Goode

A lot of times, the press guys ask why I take an hour and a half to come to the interview room, but if you don't do the massage and the ice baths and the stretching and the cooling down and the eating, and your opponent is doing that stuff, they already have an advantage. — Andy Murray

Let's go for a walk, Mollie." Frank Spencer stiffened, but Mollie's annoying lawyer spoke in a calm voice. "They say that when a wolf wants to lead a sheep to slaughter, he'll try to cut her off from the herd where he can do his worst in private." There was snickering around the firelight as the entire herd moved in to protect the object of his affections. With the grinning faces of several men gloating at him, it would be impossible to sneak Mollie away. Zack turned to her with a pleasant smile on his face. "You know how in mythology the blind man is always the source of great wisdom and insight? Why couldn't you find one of those blind guys to be friends with?" Frank appeared flattered by the statement. He grinned as he warmed his hands before the brazier. — Elizabeth Camden

Why do all the men I know put their shoes on incredibly slowly? When I tie my shoelaces I can do it standing, and I'm out the door in about ten seconds. (Or, more often, I don't even tie my shoelaces. I slip my feet into my sneakers and tighten the laces in the car.) But with men, if they are putting on any kind of shoe (sneaker, Vans, dress shoe), it will take twenty times as long as when a woman does it. It has come to the point where if I know I'm leaving a house with a man, I can factor in a bathroom visit or a phone call or both, and when I'm done, he'll almost be done tying his shoes. There's a certain meticulousness that I notice with all guys when they put their shoes on. First of all, they sit down. I mean, they need to sit down to do it. Right there, it signals, "I'm going to be here for a while. Let's get settled in." I can put on a pair of hiking boots that have not even been laced yet while talking on my cell phone, without even leaning on a wall. — Mindy Kaling

We were defined by what we did. What we had to do.
I think this is why guys like football, and why they join the army, because as long as you are playing the game or following orders you do not have to figure out who you really are. — Pete Hautman

So I'm not crazy after all! I thought it looked good myself once I cut it all off. Not one guy likes it, though. They all tell me I look like a first grader or a concentration camp survivor. What's this thing that guys have for girls with long hair? Fascists, the whole bunch of them! Why do guys all think girls with long hair are the classiest, the sweetest, the most feminine? I mean, I myself know at least two hundred and fifty unclassy girls with long hair. Really. — Haruki Murakami

Max replies, "Why the fuck n- Oh man, are you gettin' lucky?"
I quickly do up Asher's jeans and stand. Max bursts into laughter when he sees my head ascend and chuckles, "Shit, guys. Warn a brother. Did you at least finish?"
Ash smiles big fluffling my hair, I tell Max, "I never start something I don't plan to finish."
Ash wraps his arm around me and Max shakes his head. He says, "Well if you two don't mind, I think I'm gonna make this a blowjob free zone from now on. — Belle Aurora

The essence of masculinity is taking responsibility for yourself, then a wife, then children. These are the kinds of things the Bible says qualify a man to be a church leader.[198] Guys who don't do this act irresponsibly, take rather than give, and dump their responsibilities on others by virtue of their childish ways. This is why Jeremiah wrote, "It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young."[199] Men are like trucks: they drive straighter when carrying a load. — Mark Driscoll

What is it with me and guys? Do I come on too strong? Why do none of them want to stick around? I'm gonna be forty years old and out on a date with some man, and we'll make out, then he'll tell me we're not meant to be, and I'll go home to my fourteen cats. — Miranda Kenneally

Most of the network television audience now is primarily women, but I think that's because the shows are developed to appeal to women. I don't know that there are too many shows that appeal to guys anymore. I'm not sure why that is, but I think that it may have something to do with the fact that most development staffs are women. — Edward Allen Bernero

No, it wasn't. It was the scariest fucking answer to Fermi's paradox I can think of. Do you know why there aren't any Indians in your Old West analogy? Because they're already dead. The whatever-they-were that built all that got a head start and used their protomolecule gate builder to kill all the rest. And that's not even the scary part. The really frightening part is that something else came along, shot the first guys in the back of the head, and left their corpses scattered across the galaxy. The thing we should be asking is, who fired the magic bullet? — James S.A. Corey

I knew you were all smitten and shit, but fuck, you really do love this guy." The smirk in Darren's voice was obvious. And annoying. "Aw, come on, admit it - you feel like Cinderella, don't you?"
"No, Darren, I don't. And do you know why?"
"No sugar, tell me why."
"Because I'm a man. I've got a big fat one and I like to fuck other guys." Darren was laughing over the phone now, and it made Reece grin. "And Ben isn't a prince, he's a cop. A big, sexy cop who fucks like a machine. He's a man. I'm a man. We're men." He nodded sharply. "Now fuck off. I'm arranging flowers. — L.A. Gilbert

Who knows why you kids do any of the crap you do?"
"And who knows why you guys are such assholes?" Lex countered, taking a sip of her soda. "Life is just full of little mysteries, isn't it? — Gina Damico

Drosophila," I said, remembering the word.
"What?" Lily asked.
"Why do girls always fall for guys with the at ention span of drosophila?"
"What?"
"Fruit flies. Guys with the attention span of fruit flies."
"Because they're hot?"
"This," I told her, "is not the time for being truthful. — Rachel Cohn

It might sound so stupid, but guys do not hit on me. I'm not really sure why, but it's very rare that a guy will ever come up to me and be like, 'I'm going to lay down my game right now, and you're going to like it.' — Jennifer Love Hewitt

Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like, guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha". It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it.'
'Why not?'
'Because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end. — Douglas Adams

There were more of them out there. More walkers. And I was being asked to step up and be ... what? Some kind of Captain Heroism who would lead the boys in the Red, White, and Blue to victory? What was I getting myself into? This wasn't task force duty, this wasn't even SWAT-team level. I'd never even smelled anything this big before and now I was expected to train and lead a black ops team? How frigging insane was this? Why were they asking me? I'm just a cop. Where are the guys who actually do this for a living? How come none of them were here? Where's James Bond and Jack Bauer? Why me, of all people? — Jonathan Maberry

Honey, I've watched a lot of 90210. The parents weren't even on the show once Brandon and Brenda went to college. This is your time - you're supposed to going to frat parties and getting back together with Dylan."
"Why does everybody want me to go to frat parties?"
"Who wants you to go to frat parties? I was just kidding. Don't hang out with frat guys, Cath, they're terrible. All they do is get drunk and watch 90210. — Rainbow Rowell

Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants? — Dana Gould

Stories help you understand your life,
she'd say. Stories can heal. And I think she's right, because why do old guys back from the war tell their experiences again and again? Why did people of long ago make up elaborate tales of mythical beings? Why do people sit in a room and reveal the pieces of their life to doctors trained to listen, and why are they cured by doing that? Why
libraries? Come on, all those stories, pieces of life told again and again. We need them. Stories are a ritual that put all the crazy shit about life into a form that makes sense. We're all like the little kids that need to be read the same story over and over again. — Deb Caletti

But it's that fucking dress she's wearing. It's low-cut and tight and just ... Jesus. Why would she wear a dress like that? Is she doing it just to torture me? I like the idea that maybe she had me in mind when she picked it out. Of course, she might be wearing it because she wants to get attention from other guys.
I look around the wedding suspiciously, trying to see if anyone is looking at her. I don't want to have to punch someone out, but i'll do it if I have to. — Lauren Barnholdt

Do you know any gay guys?"
"Why? Are you switching teams?"
"I'm not sure. Maybe."
"Yeah, I know some gay guys. And you do, too."
"I know some gay guys?" News to me.
"Jake and Terry."
"They're not gay," I argued.
"Yeah? You better tell them to stop sleeping together, then. — Dani Alexander

Stay Stupid The three dumbest guys I can think of: Charles Lindbergh, Steve Jobs, Winston Churchill. Why? Because any smart person who understood how impossibly arduous were the tasks they had set themselves would have pulled the plug before he even began. Ignorance and arrogance are the artist and entrepreneur's indispensable allies. She must be clueless enough to have no idea how difficult her enterprise is going to be - and cocky enough to believe she can pull it off anyway. How do we achieve this state of mind? By staying stupid. By not allowing ourselves to think. A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. It's only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt and overthink and hesitate. Don't think. Act. — Steven Pressfield

Why is it so sexy when hot guys stare each other down like that? Why do I feel like licking the air? Am I ovulating? — Nicole Christie

They're just picking people off, left and right. Why are they using darts instead of bullets?" "Makes no sense," Mark replied. "Can't we do something?" Trina said, her body trembling with what looked like frustration more than fear. "Why are we letting these people do this?" Mark stepped up to Lana and peeked out with her. Bodies littered the clearing now, impaled darts sticking up toward the sky like a miniature forest. Still the Berg hovered overhead, its thrusters raging with blue heat. "Where are our security guys?" Mark whispered to no one in particular. "They take the day off or something? — James Dashner

You know what guys do? They stand up for people. You know why? Two reasons. It's right. And it feels good. Even if the person doesn't know what you did. Maybe especially then. — David Lubar

So why are we practicing this, anyway?" Percy asked. "Do you guys spend a lot of time laying siege to fortified cities? — Rick Riordan

Another time he felt himself reenacting a conversation with father, a long talk about duty and honor and all the reasons why enlisting was the right thing to do. It was a talk they'd had several months ago, and Frank had agreed with everything his father had said, only this time Frank found himself taking a contrary opinion. What the hell's so honorable about it? Duty to whom? To myself, or the guys who would be fighting without me, or to the people here at home afraid of the Hun? Or duty to President Wilson, or to Carnegie, or to God, or to all the fallen soldiers before me, to Great-grandad Emmett and his bleached bones down at Antietam? — Thomas Mullen

Between building the new house on our newly subdivided lot, continuing work on some small flip homes, and managing the rentals, Chip had more work than he could do himself, so he had put a crew of workmen together. "The Boys," as we called them, were a talented bunch of hardworking guys who were just as adaptable as Chip seemed to be when it came to making my crazy ideas become reality. I truly could say, "Hey, why don't we take that tree out of the front yard and hang it upside down in the master bedroom," and they would do it, no questions asked. (All right, maybe there'd be a little head scratching. But then they'd shrug their shoulders and get to work.) — Joanna Gaines

K, boys, it's shirts against skins. Lose 'em," Lucy said, pointing to the guys and ignoring Thad.
"I beg your pardon?" Thad said, aghast.
"Why do we have to be skins?" Josh complained.
Lucy looked at Erin and they both shrugged and grabbed the hems of their shirts, preparing to haul them over their heads.
"Whoa!" Sable said, covering his eyes immediately.
"Wait," Josh, Angelo, and Thad said at the same time.
"Hell, yeah," Blaze chimed in.
The girls stopped right before they fully exposed their chest. "What? You guys act like none of you have ever seen a pair of boobs in a bra before. Josh saw mine a few hours ago and I know, for a fact, that three of you have seen hers outside the bra." Lucy looked pointedly at Thad, Blaze, and Angelo.
Erin's head snapped in Josh's direction. "JOSH!" she screeched, accidentally letting loose a snap of electricity. — Christine James

There will be others, many others. You'll try desperately to digest a single word through the acronym-laden gibberish, while beginning to wonder what the point of all this is, and also why you didn't feel that staple you just sent into your thigh. You usually do. You'll wonder what your company even does. After six years, you have no idea what an information system is, do you? Maybe you should ask. Maybe that's how this ends. You'll imagine how poetic it would be to simply unmute yourself and say, "Sorry to interrupt, guys, but what's an information system?"
Still, your mind will drift further, envisioning how much more tolerable this call would be if you could just slowly masturbate during it. So you do. You masturbate during it. And it's beautiful. Masturbating, invisible within your three-walled fortress. Invisible ... invisible ... practically invisible. — Colin Nissan

It's not always that easy to distinguish the good guys from the bad guys. Sinners can surprise you. And the same is true for saints.Why do we try to define people as simply good or simply evil? Because no one wants to admit that compassion and cruelty can live side by side in one heart. And that anyone is capable of anything. — Mary Alice

I could've said no," said Angela. "I'm actually rather expert at it. 'Do you want to go out with me?' guys say, and I say, 'Why, no, I'd rather spend an evening marinating my own eyeballs in a lemon sauce.' 'Do you feel like getting up before three p.m.?' No. 'Can you give me a smile?' No. 'Could you be less of a bitch?' No. If you didn't hear it from me a lot, there was a reason for it. I wanted to say no to the whole world, until you. The stupid sorcerers would have come without the newspaper, would have - would have done what they did, but because of your newspaper we made friends with Holly, and we won over Ash. And we got to yell at people. I like doing that. — Sarah Rees Brennan

When you put yourself out there as an expert and the people you are trying to attract are people who want to do the very show you are doing, guys standing around, sitting around arguing with each other over sports, if you make a mistake that lights up like a flare in the middle of the night. You've just got to correct that or else they're going to say, 'Well, why do these dopes have that show? I can go out there and be just as good as them.' — Tony Kornheiser

I broke up with this girl, and they put me with a psychiatrist who said, 'Why did you get so depressed, and do all those things you did?' I said, 'I wanted this girl and she left me.'
And he said,'Well, we have to look into that.'
And I said, 'There's nothing to look into! I wanted her and she left me.' And he said, 'Well, why are you feeling so intense?'
And I said, 'Cause I want the girl!' And he said, 'What's underneath it?' And I said, 'Nothing!'
He said, 'I'll have to give you medication.'
I said, 'I don't want medication! I want the girl!'
And he said, 'We have to work this through.'
So, I took a fire extinguisher from the casement and struck him across the back of his neck. And before I knew it, guys from Con Ed had jumper cables in my head and the rest was ... — Woody Allen

Ask yourself something. Have you ever thought about why guys want you gone the next day? It's not because they've got things to do, though I'm sure there are a few assholes who think like that, either because they repeated the folly so often they learned to bury the guilt or because they didn't have a conscience to begin with but, truthfully, it's because they can't stand to look at the reason they feel a hole in their chest. They don't like reminders of who helped put that sick feeling in the pits of their stomachs. As long as they had a decent mama, the guilt is always substantial. Always. If they say differently, they're liars. - Spencer Blackwell, GREED — Fisher Amelie

Twice a year, I have lunch with Dr. George Will and Dr. Charles Krauthammer, who write and speak about important issues in the world, such as politics and war and gay marriage. But at lunch, all we talk about is baseball, which is good because I can't talk fluently about anything else, especially with two guys that, when it comes to intelligence, make me feel like Fred Flintstone.

At lunch one day, Charles said, without apology, "I read the front page for ninety seconds every day, then I go straight to the box scores." To which, George said, "Why do you waste the ninety seconds? — Tim Kurkjian

If I'm scared and I'm a coward, why do you guys want to see me fight? — Floyd Mayweather Jr.

So, tonight, I want you guys to be thinking about how fragile the world can be. Even today, we're staring down the possible collapse of the post-war international order. Why is it the only one piece out of place can do such damage? — Magdalene Visaggio

Told you I had some flavours," she said. "You like?"
Ross just gaped, and possibly trembled a little.
"You, er, made that yourself?"
"Yeah. That's what pisses me off about this place. You could be any incarnation of womanhood you an think of - so why do so many choose to conform to some fifteen-year-old dork's idea of it? Even in a world like Calastria, they'll still choose an appearance that's defined by sexuality. Do they think the guys try to look sexy when they're suiting up to fight dragons?"
"Er, not so much," Ross agreed, but her last remark had inadvertently channelled his inner fifteen-year-old dork. "There's going to be dragons?" he asked. — Christopher Brookmyre

Everything starts from home. If the father isn't there, then the friends are going to step up to influence the young boy astray. This is where the problems come in, because in my community the majority of the children do not have any fathers in the home. I can only speak for my community. This is why with the young guys who do hang around me, I always do my best to encourage them. I have already lived the negative side on the streets, so I prefer to encourage them on the positive side - to encourage them to get a job, save their money and to do something for their families.Franco 'Co' Bethel, former gang leader and right hand man to Scrooge. — Drexel Deal

What about human beings? said the animals. Do you
think we need human beings?
Why not? said the Twins. And as quick as they could the
right-handed Twin created women, and the left-handed
Twin created men.
They don't look too bright, said the animals. We hope
they won't be a problem.
Don't worry, said the Twins, you guys are going to get
along just fine. — Thomas King

Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly? — Dane Cook

"We're your official search party," Tori said. Complete with bloodhound."
She waved at Derek, who was brushing off his jeans.
"I left a note," I said to Derek. "I told you whee I was going and what was doing."
"He got it," Simon said. "Didn't matter."
Derek glowered. "You think leaving a note makes it okay to do something - "
"Don't say stupid," I warned.
"Why not? It was stupid."
Simon winced and murmured, "Ease off, bro."
"That's okay," I said. "I'm used to it."
I looked up at Derek. He wavered for a second, then crossed his arms, jaw setting.
"It was stupid," he said. Risky and dangerous. Those guys could be out here with guns - " — Kelley Armstrong

Why do you guys all think girls with long hair are the classiest, the sweetest, the most feminine? I mean, I myself know at least two hundred and fifty unclassy girls with long hair. — Haruki Murakami

She frowned, thinking of going down there and explaining herself all over again, reliving the horror of finding Mimi's body and trying not to think of how she'd looked when they'd dragged her up and out of the ravine. No sooner had she thought it than she heard Mimi's voice, chastising her over a year ago.

"You hide from life, Catherine. Even when you're in the middle of it, standing toe to toe with all the bad guys you bring in, you manage to keep an emotional distance. I understand why you do it, but ultimately, you're the one who will suffer. You're the one who's going to grow old alone."

Cat blinked back tears, remembering what she'd told her.

I won't be alone, Mimi. I'll always have you.

Obviously she had been wrong. — Sharon Sala

Why do you gotta be going somewhere? Seems like it should be enough that we had nachos. And we got meaningful jobs. We catch bad guys. If it wasn't for us, there'd be vampires and all kinds of shit running around loose. — Janet Evanovich

Why do we get so angry at ourselves when we eat foods we love? Do you think guys walk around going, 'I just ate a cheeseburger and I'm so mad at myself?' — Martina Mcbride

You think back to Tele players, and James Burton was the one who started it all. He inspired Roy Nichols (guitar for Merle Haggard & the Strangers), Don Rich (guitar for Buck Owens & the Buckaroos), and guys like that to push the envelope and expand on that sound ... I really identify with that kind of thinking ... those guys to me are the reason why any of us do this.. — Brad Paisley

Why do guys do that?" I ask. "Name their vehicles."
"Ownership." He grins. I reach over and punch him lightly. "What?" he protests. "It's true! And it gives us something to swear when we break down in the middle of nowhere. — Abby McDonald

Why didn't you guys dress up?" Lindsey asks.
"We did." Calliope cracks her first smile. "we're dressed as twins."
Lindsey grins back. "Hmm, I see it now. Fraternal or identical?"
"You'd be surprised how many people ask," Cricket says.
"What do you tell them?" Lindsey asks.
"That I have a penis."
Oh God. My cheeks burn as they all burst into laughter. Think about something else, Dolores. ANYTHING else. Cucumbers, Bananas, Zucchini. AHHHH! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. I turn my face away from them as Calliope fakes a yakking sound. — Stephanie Perkins

That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men — Bill Engvall

Why can't a seven-foot guy play a doctor? Why can't I be a teacher? Why can't I be a football coach? Why can't I be a cab driver? Anything. Anything else than that. I can cry. I can do those things that they think the big guys can't do. So just give us a chance. — Grizz Chapman

Why do guys insist on wearing those odious jeans with their rear ends hanging down around their ankles? Do they really think it's hot? — Steve Kluger

All these guys picking on smart kids and calling them geeks and dweebs are going to grow up and want to know why they don't do something about the terrible state the world is in. I can tell you why. By the time they grow up, most of the kids who realy could have changed things are wrecked. — Bruce Coville

So let me help you out. My favorite color is-hell, I don't know. I've never cared enough to think about it. My favorite movie is-what else-ZOMBIELAND. But not because the good guys win in the end, though that's a plus, but because Emma Stone is hot."
I snorted. He was SUCH a guy.
"My favorite band is-"
"Let me guess," I interjected. "White Zombie? Slayer?"
"Red. And no, not just because I want zombies to bleed.What about you? Who do you like? Because honestly, I'm surprised you know White Z and Slayer."
"I like Red,too, but I'm partial to Skillet. Used to listen to them with my sister. But why wouldn't I know the other bands?"
"You look so angelic."
"And do you think angels are hot?" I asked primly, trying to play it cool so that I wouldn't reveal what a mess I was on the inside. All this time, he'd wanted to get to know me and date me. What craziness!
"The hottest. — Gena Showalter

I'll do more than the average actor, but I'm smart enough to know why stunt guys exist. — Bruce Campbell

No, I'm not one of those guys. I'd never get anything done if I rescued everyone who needed it. But I do like to help people I care about. That's why I'm here with you right now. — Lisa Brown Roberts

In fiction, I searched for my favorite authors, women I have trusted to reassure me than not all teenage guys are total ditwads, that the archetype of the noble cute hero who devotes himself to the girl he loves has not gone the way of the rotary phone. That all I had to do was be myself (smart, hardworking, funny) and be patient and kind and he and I would find each other.
As Bea would say, this why they call it fiction. — Sarah Strohmeyer

What do you think I do?" And frisky too.
"A model?" She shrugs. "An actor?"
"No," I say. "Flattering, but no."
"Well?"
"I'm into, oh, murders and executions mostly. It depends." I shrug.
"Do you like it?" she asks, unfazed.
"Um ... It depends. Why?" I take a bit of sorbet.
"Well, most guys I know who work in mergers and acquisitions don't really like it," she says.
"That's not what I said," I say, adding a forced smiled, finishing my J&B. "Oh, forget it. — Bret Easton Ellis

It's just part of whatever motivates guys and whatever they say. Ultimately it comes down to how well you play. What I've learned over the years, a lot of guys talk. What you need to do is go out there and play, back it up. They've been able to back it up, so that's why it works for them. Hopefully we can go out there and do our talking on the field. — Tom Brady

Why do girls always fall for guys with the attention span of drosophila? — Rachel Cohn

I'm weird. I still believe that when you do good deeds, you get something back in return. That's why I really enjoy helping other guys succeed. — Matt Hardy

He pulled back, barely a fraction, but I knew he was hurt. Why was it so easy to do that these days? For both of us. He wouldn't want to talk about something, and I'de be hurt. Or I wouldn't want to talk about something, and he'd be hurt. Or he'd invite me along with the guys, and I'd analyze every nuance of his voice and expression, worrying that he really didn't want me along, was only being polite. Or, like the other night, I'd want to comfort him, but would be worried about how he might misinterpret that.
It never used to be like this. Maybe that's just part of having a close friend of the opposite sex. As a kid, you don't think anything about it. Then you're a teenager, and you can't help but think about it. — Kelley Armstrong

Jazz is all about improvisation and it's about the moment in time, doing it this way now, and you'll never do it this way twice. I've studied the masters. Why would I want to play ball after the guys who sit on a bench? I want to play like Michael Jordan. — Brian McKnight

This is my year of the remake. Go for it, see what you can do, guys, why not? — Margot Kidder

No," I said automatically, "don't do anything about Dad. You can't fix my relationship with him."
"I can block or run interference."
"Thanks, Jack, but I don't need blocking, and I really don't need any more interference."
He looked annoyed. "Well, why did you waste all that time complaining to me if you didn't want me to do something about it?"
"I don't want you to fix my problems. I just wanted you to listen."
"Hang it all, Haven, talk to a girlfriend if all you want is a pair of ears. Guys hate it when you give us a problem and then don't let us do something about it. It makes us feel bad. And then the only way to make ourselves feel better is to rip a phone book in two or blow something up. So let's get this straight - I'm not a good listener. I'm a guy."
"Yes you are." I stood and smiled. "Want to buy me a drink at an after work bar?"
"Now you're talking," my brother said, and we left the office. — Lisa Kleypas

And of course, he had to be evil. Why do all the sexy guys have to have issues? Why? — Laura Thalassa

Because the pure girls get rescued."
Mary Lou felt something she didn't let herself feel often. She was well and truly pissed off. "Why do girls have to be all pure and innocent and good? Why don't guys have to be? — Libba Bray

I don't know," I said. "What else did you do for your first eighteen years?"
"Like I said," he said as I unlocked the car, "I'm not so sure that you should go by my example."
"Why not?"
"Because I have my regrets," he said. "Also, I'm a guy. And guys do different stuff."
"Like ride bikes?" I said.
"No," he replied. "Like have food fights. And break stuff. And set off firecrackers on people's front porches. And ... "
"Girls can't set off firecrackers on people's front porches?"
"They can," he said ... "But they're smart enough not to. That's the difference. — Sarah Dessen

This is the part where you apologize to me," I said, getting angry. "You guys screwed up and this is where you make me feel better about it." I like to use this tactic on people. It can work. When someone is being rude, abusing their power, or not respecting you, just call them out in a really obvious way. Say, "I can't understand why you are being rude because you are the concierge and this is the part of the evening where the concierge helps me." Act like they are an actor who has forgotten what part they are playing. It brings the attention back to them and gives you a minute to calm down so you don't do something silly like burst into tears or break their stupid fucking glasses. — Amy Poehler

Hey, don't you ever fake orgasms with me."
She huffed. "I don't get why guys get so pissed when girls do that. Hell, your gender can fake an actual relationship. — Suzanne Wright

Come on." He jumped up and grabbed my hand. "Let's do something fun."
"I can't! I have to work, and then I have a date."
"Frying-pan boy again? I thought you guys broke up."
"No! Why would we break up? — Kiersten White