Weird Hilarious Quotes & Sayings

People change. Sometimes I think they don't know they're changing until it's already happened, though. You get so used to being one person, it's weird when you wake up and everything is different. — Lindsey Kelk

Portia followed after, a smirk on her face, and Syc hissed as he passed.
Donegan waited till they were gone, then swung round to Gracious.
"He hissed at me."
"He hissed at you."
"Should I hiss back?"
"It's a bit late."
"He could still hear."
"Not unless you run after him."
"Do you think I should?"
"Probably not."
"I think I should."
"It'd be a bit weird."
"You might be right." Donegan pursed his lips, then shook his fist at the doorway.
"That showed him," said Gracious.
Donegan nodded. "He'll think twice about hissing at me again. — Derek Landy

My family went on a cruise, and I got a terrible haircut. FYI: Never get your hair cut on a cruise. And I had, like, this blonde curly 'fro, and I walked into the gym the first day back in seventh grade and everyone was staring at me, and for some reason I thought, I know what I need to do! And I just started sprinting from one end of the gym to the other, and I thought it was hilarious. But nobody else at that age really did. It was genuinely weird — Jennifer Lawrence

I like comedy but I guess I don't think [my art] is that funny, either. It's too dark and a bit weird in places to be genuinely, uniformly hilarious and function as comedy. — David Shrigley

I have to go. Boss has
this weird idea that I should actually work while he's paying
me. — Laurie Halse Anderson

I remember now. Calling you. It's hard, everything's running together. I called and called and called. Like a shotgun, firing in every direction hoping to hit somethin'. I bet I called you twenty times." "Twice. You called me twice. John, answer my question." "Really? You kept getting weird on me. You know what I think? I think you'll be getting calls from me for the next eight or nine years. All from tonight. I couldn't help it, couldn't get oriented. Kept slipping out of the time . . . you've got a voice mail message three years from now that's freaking hilarious. — David Wong

Seeing his daughter slowly die, coupled with his infinite sadness and misery, the clockmaker becomes a recluse to the tower of the castle and begins to build something behind closed doors, not even his daughter knows what he's up to. For five years, she only sees him briefly at meal-times before locking himself up in the tower once again..."

"...Did he have a bathroom in the tower?"

"Yes, Jack. A big one! En-suite! Power-shower and spa! Where was I!? — Jonathan Dunne

With these words there came the rending scream of a shattered stirk and an angry troubling of the branches as the poor madman percolated through the sieve of a sharp yew, a wailing black meteor hurtling through green clouds, a human prickles. — Flann O'Brien

People are going to see you talking to nobody and think you're weird." This amused him.

It neither amused nor worried Blue. She'd gone through eighteen years as the town psychic's daughter, and now, in her senior year, she had already held every single possible conversation about that fact. She had been shunned and embraced and bullied and cajoled. She was going to hell, she had the straight line to spiritual nirvana. Her mother was a hack, her mother was a witch. Blue dressed like a hobo, Blue dressed like a fashion mogul. She was untouchably hilarious, she was a friendless bitch. It had faded into monotonous background noise. The disheartening and lonesome upshot was that Blue Sargent was the strangest thing in the halls of Mountain View High School. — Maggie Stiefvater

I just love the subversion of dialogue in sitcoms, stand-up is monologue and that is entertaining for a lot of people but personally I find it a bit trying, which is a weird thing to say as a stand-up! I love people aping normal conversation and twisting it so it becomes hilarious. — Doc Brown

My parents have always worried that I'd take Amy too personally - they always tell not to read too much into her, And yet I can't fail to notice that whenever I screw something up, Amy does it right: When I finally quit violin at age twelve, Amy was revealed as a prodigy in the next book. ("Sheesh, violin can be hard work, but handwork is the only way to get better!") When I blew off the junior championship at age sixteen to do a beach weekend with friends, Amy recommitted to the game. ("Sheesh, I know it's fun to spend time with friends, but I'd be letting myself and everyone else down if I didn't show up for the tournament.") This used to drive me mad, but after I wend off to Harvard (and Amy correct those my parents' alma mater), I decided it was all too ridiculous to think about. That my parents, two child psychologists, chose this particular public form of passive-aggressiveness toward their child was not just fucked up but also stupid and weird and kind of hilarious. — Gillian Flynn