Vibrator Quotes & Sayings

She smiled as though someone had just offered her, the oldest virgin in town, a fully functioning Kingsize Vibro vibrator and a deluxe inhibition bypass. — Andrew Barrett

Sweet jeans," he panted, his fingers finding the bare flesh, feeling the proof of her desire. "I'm going to take you, Bayleigh. Lap up every bit of that sweet cream that's drenching my fingers. Do you know how I've wanted you for the past two weeks, driving myself crazy, imagining it was me fucking you instead of that damned vibrator you use ? — Liliana Hart

We had another game where he was the doctor making a house call and I was the proper Victorian lady besieged by hysteria (also known as sexual frustration) which could only be relieved by a paroxysm (also known as an orgasm) the doctor brought on with either his hand or my vibrator. (At first Quinn didn't believe me when I told him that this actually happened in history, and that vibrators were, in fact, invented by doctors whose hands were cramping up from flicking sexually frustrated Victorian beans all day long, but I swear to God it's true. Just another one of those fun facts stored up in my brain.) — Melanie Harlow

The only options I have are a four fingered shuffle and an aging vibrator whose batteries, the last time I looked, were leaking a sticky liquid.
I long to do the same."
Time Was by Paul Adams — Paul Adams

Relationships are one thing. I kind of agree with you there. But I'm talking
about sex. Don't you have ... uh ... needs?"
"Yes. But I take care of those by myself. I have a very handy vibrator. — Shelly Laurenston

I have a computer, a vibrator, and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? - Tabitha — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I have a secret. A big, fat, hairy secret. And I'm not talking minor-league stuff, like I once let Joseph Applebaum feel me up behind the seventh-grade stairwell or I got a Brazilian wax after work last Friday or I'm hiding a neon blue vibrator called the Electric Slide in my night table. Which I'm not, by the way. In case you were wondering. — Karen MacInerney

Light-headed, my body trembling from shoes to shoulders in random spells, like I swallowed a vibrator. It's always like this when I'm on the sauce. I dosed six hours ago. — David Wong

Terrific! Have you done Step Three?" He waggled his brows as he opened up the top left drawer of my dresser.
"No. Hey! Do you mind, Nosy Newton?"
"Are these panties?" he asked, holding up two of my thongs. "Because they look like dental floss to me."
Oh my God. My almost father-in-law was digging around in my lingerie. Embarrassment bloomed in my face. "Ruadan, get out of my underwear!"
"Fine," he said, closing the left drawer and opening the right one. "Oh! Lookie here!"
"If you touch that box," I said menacingly, "I will cut off your head with your own swords. And I'm not talking about the one on your shoulders."
He laughed, shutting the drawer. "You won't need a vibrator anymore. You've got Patrick." His gaze slid toward the dresser. "Unless you have different toys in there. Nipple clamps?"
"I ... what ... oh God." I fell onto the bed, curled into the fetal position, and covered my face. — Michele Bardsley

He followed you into the staff room and didn't come back for twenty minutes and when he did come back, he looked like he'd been mauled by a woman who'd been locked in an empty room without a vibrator, or a man for ten years! — Samantha Young

I don't get lonely. I have Nutella. And a vibrator. — Christian McKay Heidicker

Is it broken? Seriously. I mean my vagina. Not the vibrator. The vibrator definitely had some kicking power left in it. I think that cocky, sexy, asshole broke it. — Victoria Ashley

When Lauren hired a woman to come to the party and sell sex toys, Kristi turned to her and said, 'This seems like something you would want more than I would. I mean, I have Todd now and we're getting married, so I don't really need a vibrator. But it's fun for the single girls, I guess. — Jennifer Close

What the fuck is that? Harley Vibrator? — Khalia Hades

I think God is a giant vibrator in the sky ... a pulsating force of incredible energy. — David Arquette

New York City was the world's biggest vibrator. Everything vibrated above, and below the streets. — Nancy Pickard

I'm looking for what might be called a body language. One thing I do is stick a vibrator up my cunt and start writing
writing from the point of orgasm and losing control of the language and seeing what that's like. — Kathy Acker

There's this thing. I can, like, do a cast of your cock and make a vibrator out of it. How cool's that? Cos then, right, then I can suck you off and have you fucking me at the same time, like there's two of you. I've gone all tingly."
Lindsay doesn't know what to say for a second so he just stares at Valentine with something he imagines must look like horror. "What the hell am I doing with you?"
"Broadening your horizons. Or something."
"I must be crazy."
"That's okay, that's why it works. We're both a bit warped. Together we make sort of one whole person. — Richard Rider

Just giving Jenny a last minute pep talk before the race," Drew informs him.
"There's no need for that, Claire is going to kick everyone's ass." Carter says.
Drew laughs and shakes his head. "Oh that's hilarious, limp dick! I know for a fact that Jenny will be the victor."
"The Victor? Who's Victor? Is that like some vibrator champion or something? Is the race named after this Victor guy?"
Claire pats my shoulder and just smiles at me. I guess she already knows about Victor. I'm always the last to know everything. — Tara Sivec

Pfft. Wine is the greatest invention. Next to the vibrator, of course. They're equally fabulous. — Emma Hart

I didn't want another vibrator night. — Alessandra Torre

One day she was going to be found dead mid-hump on a polyurethane phallus — Nicki Elson

Hell, a fifty-dollar vibrator could do his job, and I wouldn't have to listen to its bullshit. — Kendall Ryan

Once I entered the house late at night and overheard Mark and my mom having sex by the fireplace. She was moaning like she was flying on a magic carpet. I almost puked into the kitchen sink. I would give anything for her to dump him. Jade's mom says it will never happen because women over 45 have a better chance of getting blown up by a terrorist than finding a man. Haha! If I ever get that desperate, I will buy a giant vibrator and never leave the house. — Allison Burnett

I just want mind-boggling sex tonight, but I don't think you can beat my vibrator. — Anna Bayes

My choices were either too much alcohol or a whirl with my vibrator, and I was damned if I'd have a battery-provided orgasm starring Dark and Dangerous. — Sylvia Day

Help out her grandma and also learn to be social with something other than her laptop and vibrator while she was at it. — Jill Shalvis

I was done with men. Totally and completely. I was looking forward to a life as a cat lady. I was going to get a dozen cats and a fucking great vibrator, maybe one of those rabbits I heard about, and that was it. — Kristen Ashley

He stilled. "What did you say?" "A few years ago, Nancy took me to a store in New York to buy a vibrator." "Holy shit, Faith." "It's all right. Mom said it wasn't a sin." "You told your mother Nancy bought you a dildo?" "Of course. Wanna see it?" "God, no." "You know," she said, inching closer. "I can do it as many times as I want with that." "Faith, stop! — Kathryn Shay

I didn't blame him. God, I wouldn't have blamed Bones if he'd duct-taped a vibrator to me and just took care of the whole sordid nightmare that way — Jeaniene Frost

He's so hot that he could melt the batteries in my vibrator — Cassandra Lawson

She wished now she'd brought that vibrator as a flashlight instead of leaving it on the couch. — Jill Shalvis

Megan was able to get me the single most important item in this entire house."
"She got you that new vibrator?"
"Jesus ... "
"Oh, the cookbook, right," he said, remembering.
Megan used to work for the Food Network, and was able to secure me a signed copy of the original Barefoot Contessa cookbook. — Alice Clayton

He eyed her cart with wry amusement. You either have a lot of very little flashlights, or a busy vibrator. — Jill Shalvis

He held up his hand, and in it was ...
Oh, God.
The neon-pink vibrator, glowing in the dark now. It was following her, stalking her, all the way down the yellow brick road to hell. — Jill Shalvis

Is that a cell phone in your pocket," I whisper up at him, "or did I misplace my vibrator? — Lexi Ryan

I got a vibrator that needed two nine volt batteries. What am I - R2D2? I don't know what to do with that. — Chelsea Handler

I'm thinking we should have a vibrator ceremony. Maybe we can all stand around in
the dead of night, carrying candles and chanting while she buries them in her backyard, — Kristen Ashley

You definitely have the voice for phone sex, but I've got to go. I have a date with my vibrator."
"Oh, Eva." Cross spoke my name in a decadent purr. "You're determined to drive me to my knees, aren't you? What will it take to talk you into a threesome with B.O.B. — Sylvia Day

Correct me if I'm wrong," he said, "but I was under the impression that you weren't looking for anything more than a short-term arrangement either, Miss Free Spirit."
She flushed. "I wasn't the one who ran for the door that night. I was doing just fine with the summer-fling thing."
"I did not run for the door. I left in a hurry, but I did not run."
"Details."
"Important details. And I'd like to remind you that I showed at your gallery the next morning," he said. "It's not like I didn't call. And how the hell do you think I felt when you told me that the sex had been therapeutic? You made it sound like a good massage or a tonic, damn it."
She bit her lip. "Well, it was in a way."
"Great. Well, do me a favor. The next time you want physical therapy, call a masseuse or a chiropractor. Or buy a vibrator. — Jayne Ann Krentz

hands spread my ass cheeks while another vibrator was rammed up me. "Fuck! — Amelia LeFay

Can I just ask, after we find this guy, can we talk about the Vibrator Ceremony? I'm thinking of making us all kind of choir like robes to wear but with sequins and some satin sashes as belts. Maybe in chartreuse. — Kristen Ashley

But...a vibrator can't hold you in its arms or give you the full-body experience."

Em clamped down on the wicked surge of heat between her legs, thinking about a full-body experience with Lincoln Quinn. "It's not going to make me lie in the wet spot, either."

"It can't snuggle with you after," he countered with another laugh.

Em snorted. "And that's your specialty, is it? Hanging around for pillow talk?"

"I'll have you know I give very good pillow talk."

Sure. And Elvis was alive and living at Henley Stadium. "Right," she muttered. "Of course you do."

"I really do." He nodded. "Most women seem to be more interested in me giving them good head, but hey, I'm a full service kinda guy. — Amy Andrews

Therefore in one line why don't these (The higher authority of an office) people just say, "You are our sex toy. We will use you as our vibrator until we derive pleasure in earning profits from you. Once we learn that you are of no use and you are not giving the pleasure we need, we will kick you or throw you in a dustbin as we throw a condom in dustbin after sex. — Sudeep Nagarkar

You named your dildo." "No," she said. "Dildo is a town in Newfoundland, Canada. I have a . . ." She lowered her voice. "Vibrator. — Jill Shalvis

Welcome," the man said in utter contradiction to his urban street clothes. He eyed the vibrator in Cooper's hand but whatever his thoughts were on a guy wielding a vibrator, he kept to himself. "I'll get some candles. — Jill Shalvis

A good man is a whole lot more satisfying than a thermal blanket and a vibrator."
"Grams! I can't believe you just said that!"
Her grandmother replied with a win. "I may be old, sweetheart, but I'm not dead yet. — Victoria Vane

Give a man a fish and you've fed him for a day, but - " "Give a woman a vibrator, and she'll orgasm for life. I get it. — Penny Reid

Okay. Fine." Angelina was silent. For about fifteen seconds. "But you do know that a vibrator can't really be your boyfriend."
Miki dropped her head into her hands. "I will not discuss Mr. Happy with the likes of you."
Angelina sighed. "I find the fact that you named your vibrator disturbing on so many levels."
"Best relationship I've ever had. — Shelly Laurenston

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person. — Chelsea Handler

Most of the time romance isn't even about love, anyway. It's about escape. Fantasy. Salvation from the mundane. Save me from boredom, from exhaustion, from my undersexed body, from microwave dinners and reality TV, from going to bed alone with a vibrator or a cat. Save me from my desperately ordinary life. — Leah Raeder

A vibrator can last all night, too, vampire! - Denise — Jeaniene Frost

He had whispered the dark promise that he would fuck her ass, take her there, make her scream for him. She bit her lips, her fingers moving, one inserting into that tiny, dark hole while she wished she hadn't packed her vibrator so quickly. — Lora Leigh

Holy shit! That dog had my vibrator! — N.M. Silber

He went full frontal in The Evidence Locker. America swooned and my vibrator got a fresh round of batteries. — Alessandra Torre

I had one friend with same-sex orientation, and Dana hadn't spoken to me since I asked her to describe her honeymoon in graphic detail - and then made vibrator noises. — Dani Alexander

Ain't nothing greater than an x-rater with a nickname like Vibrator. — Snoop Dogg

there's nothing better after a gruelling day of work than to have multiple orgasms. Now, as we all know, most guys aren't capable of giving us MOs and, just quietly, they really should fucking teach that shit in high school Sex Ed. But," she sighed, disappointedly, "they don't, and because it's a skill possessed by the unicorns of the world, we need to have with us - at all times - a BOB. So please, for me, pack your fucking vibrator. — K.M. Golland

something glorious a minute later. How could anyone not have an orgasm? While she didn't ask for his cock, her mouth opened as she gulped in air. Perhaps it was when she dropped her head back that he understood she was ever so close, because he shut off the vibrator and pulled it out. — Vella Day

Spoiled [10w]
When a woman gets used to an industrial quality pneumatic drill,
I seriously doubt if she'll use a vibrator again. — Beryl Dov

I thought you'd be entirely self-sufficient.""Oh I am," I shoot back. "You should see my vibrator collection. — Karina Halle

Medical journals from 1905 to 1915 are rife with articles on "vibratory massage" and the many things it cures. Weakened hearts and floating kidneys. Hysterical cramp of the esophagus and catarrh of the inner ear. Deafness, cancer, bad eyesight. And lots and lots of prostate problems. A Dr. Courtney W. Shropshire, writing in 1912, was impressed to note that by means of "a special prostatic applicator, well lubricated, attached to the vibrator, introduced to the rectum" he was "able to empty the seminal vesicles of their secretions." Indeedy. Shropshire's patients returned every other day for treatment, no doubt also developing a relationship with the vibration machine. — Mary Roach

But the trade-off for my self-respect was a cold bed and an over-used vibrator, and it was starting to wear thin. — Sierra Simone

The best sex I have ever had was with my vibrator. — Eva Longoria

You're talking about denuding me in front of a crowd." He lowered his voice. "A man shouldn't show off his naked parts to the ladies. It isn't proper." A man his age should practice modesty. "But everyone's seen your junk," Katie remarked. "There are dozens of sex shops in the merchant ring that have modeled their vibrator collection after it. — Eve Langlais

You make my insides feel like the vibrator's on!-Rev'ed up-throbbin'-as the beats send chill's down my mind into those dark legs of ecstasy where no man dare's whimper my name-That divine sensation that drives me into the nethersphere!-You here the trippin' I am drippin ? — Rickey Russell

Go nuts, girlfriend." He grins, making his face instantly more familiar. "I told 'em we met when we were both looking after Jamie. But I skipped the part about taking off my pants and daring you to find out if Wesley's massage chair would turn my dick into a real-life vibrator. — Sarina Bowen

[O]ut of the blue Sophie asked, "Aunt Faith, what's a vibrator?"

Faith was in mid-swallow and choked on her coffee.
...
"Baby, where'd you hear that?"
...
"My momma was on the phone with her friend Ms. Kim last night, and she said that Lottie Bishop kicked her in the crouch so many times that she didn't know if she'd ever be able to take her vibrator for a test spin again. — Robin Alexander

She had just pulled her dress coat from it's hanger when Connor came bouncing out of her bedroom and down the hallway with something in his hand.
"Mommy, what's this jiggle stick?"
She looked up to see her son standing not two feet away from Reece with her purple jelly vibrator in his hand. And he was shaking it, making it waggle back and forth. — Pamela Clare

Kira knew that his tounge felt like a vibrator set to the speed of Oh Hell Yeah — Jeaniene Frost

She shook her head. "I swear, Roberts, the more I learn about your gender, the more I think a sperm
donor, a good handyman, and a great vibrator is the better way to go."
He let out a bark of laughter. "In defense of my gender, we're not all dogs. As a matter of fact, I
happen to be friends and work with a lot of good guys."
"Ooh. Anyone you can set me up with?"
He gave her a long, dark scowl.
She'd take that as a no.
"I just breeched the sex-buddy etiquette again, didn't I?" she asked.
"Quite. — Julie James

I feel your pain. My vibrator needed batteries. — Wendy Byrne

Free love is vibrator slogan. — Jay Caspian Kang

Men exist because a vibrator can't fix a flat tire. On second thought, I should just buy a AAA card ... — Jill Shalvis

There's an opening at Mom's campaign," I say. "She needs all the help she can get
now that she's totally distracted by Clay Tucker."
"Who the hell's Clay Tucker?"
"The ... " Nan lowers her voice, even though all she says is: " ... younger man
Samantha's mother's dating."
"Your ma's dating?" Tim looks shocked. "I thought she pretty much confined herself
to a vibrator and the shower nozzle since your dad screwed her over. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

We did make use, from time to time, of candles, neckties, scarves, shoelaces, a little water-color paintbrush, her hairbrush, butter, whipped cream, strawberry jam, Johnson's Baby Oil, my Swedish hand vibrator, a fascinating bead necklace she had, miscellaneous common household items, and every molecule of flesh that was exposed to air or could be located with strenuous search. — Spider Robinson

According to string theory, which Professor Tamashi and other scientists have been using to try to solve the Big Bang, in addition to the four dimensions of spacetime we know, there are six of these very small, curled-up dimensions, making ten all told. And the strings, which are little strands of energy, wiggle around vibrating in these ten dimensions.'

'Like Dennis's mother,' Mario, seeking vengeance for the ant slur, interjects, 'wiggling around vibrating with her vibrator, because she is a famous slut, and also, she has ten dimensions because she is a fat bitch. — Paul Murray