Unintentional Humor Quotes & Sayings

Every single element, even the most hair-raising, can be improved. — Dmitry Bilozerchev

We can now manipulate images to such an extrodinary extent that there's no lie you cannot tell. — David Attenborough

I'm sorry, anal sex," Beavers continued, embarrassed by her slip of the tongue. — Dale Carpenter

Let me tell you something, I have never stated this, but you idiots refer to me as some moroon, I have a aster and a lwa degree. I simply cannot take the bar because of my stupid past in my 20's. You people do not want to go up against m on education because most of you will lose badly. — Larry Sinclair

Roan looked down at the pathetic little fur ball with a pink ribbon clipped to the top of its head and growled at it. It came from deep in his throat, and while it was unintentional, it wasn't precisely a human noise. He could feel it in his throat, vibrating his vocal chords, and the dog's ears rotated briefly in as much alarm as a dog could express, and then it whimpered and cringed, pissing on the sidewalk in submission.
The woman took a couple steps backward, eyes wide and horrified, and dragged her dog past them as she hurried off, the Pom more than happy to leave.
Paris looked at him, an eyebrow raised and the corner of his mouth quirked up in a half smile. "I love it when you get defensive."
"I'm the king of the jungle.I'm not taking any shit from a living dust mop. — Andrea Speed

For students, the evolution-creation discussion can be a useful exercise, for it can help develop their critical thinking skills. — Ken Ham

According to the spirit of this age, the ultimate sin is no longer the failure to honor and thank God but the failure to esteem oneself. Self-abasement, not God-abasement, is the evil. And the cry of deliverance is not "O wretched man that I am, who will deliver me?" but "O worthy man that I am, would that I could only see it better"! — John Piper

Fuck!" he snarled.
He tilted her up again, her legs now resting on his shoulders, and positioned himself and began to push.
Into her back entrance.
Kimber drew in a great, shocked gasp, her hazel eyes wide. "Deke?"
"What the hell are you doing?" Luc barked.
Tensing a little more with every inch he pushed inside Kimber's tight passage, the tendons on his neck standing out, the muscles in his arms shaking, assailed by the amazing sensations of being slowly enveloped by her tight, ready flesh, Deke could barely form a word. "Fucking her ass. Saving her life. — Shayla Black

Mindfulness promises a great number of desirable benefits, and is based on much more solid research than many competing ideas on how to change people. — Paul Gibbons

And often Lisa thought bitterly of the ideas she had held on "college life" before coming to Denton, ideas and images culled from a hundred magazine stories and as many movies. Where were the convertibles, the secret bottles of liquor, the gay young men and their wild girl friends? — Grace Metalious

In describing one way of going mad, I shall try to show that there is a comprehensible transition from the sane schizoid way of being-in-the-world to a psychotic way of being-in-the-world. — R.D. Laing

Remember the Wizard Archer's drill arrows that rescued the entombed miners? Well, we're drilling holes in your swiss cheese building to rescue you from a costly boner! — Robert Bernstein

I was brought up in a very small town in upstate New York. — Bill Pullman

I'm the kind of person you want to kill. — Jodi Picoult

Imagine someone reaching straight into your chest, past the bones and blood and guts, and taking a nice firm hold on your spinal cord. Now imagine that they start shaking you so fast, the world starts bulging and buckling under you. Imagine not being able to figure out later if the thought in your head is really yours or an unintentional keepsake from someone else's mind. Imagine the guilt of knowing you saw someone's deepest, darkest fear or secret ... — Alexandra Bracken

[Over breakfast] We discussed the 'novelisation' question. This is where the studio pay someone to novelise my script and sell it as Sense and Sensibility. I've said if this happens I will hang myself. Revolting notion. Beyond revolting.
Lindsay [Doran] said that the executive she had discussed it with had said 'as a human being I agree with you
but ... ' I laughed until my porridge was cool enough to swallow. — Emma Thompson

Hoarding kings are to be pitied in their lifetime
when they can't take their riches
to the grave.

- Gwallawg is Other — Taliesin

The worst times can be the best if you think with positive energy. — Domenico Dolce

ObamaCare is, really, I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery - and it is slavery, in a way, because it is making all of us subservient to the government. It was never about health care; it was about control. — Ben Carson

The Washington Times wrote a story questioning the authenticity of some of the suggestions made about me in Silent Coup. But as a believer in the First Amendment, I believe they have more than a right to air their views. — Bob Woodward

A friendliness, as of dwarfs shaking hands, was in the air... — E. M. Forster