Umpire Quotes & Sayings

We are to remember what an umpire Nature is; what a greatness, composure of depth and tolerance there is in her. You take wheat to cast into the Earth's bosom; your wheat may be mixed with chaff, chopped straw, barn-sweepings, dust and all imaginable rubbish; no matter: you cast it into the kind just Earth; she grows the wheat, - the whole rubbish she silently absorbs, shrouds it in, says nothing of the rubbish. — Thomas Carlyle

We often imagine that the court serves as a sort of neutral umpire controlling the warring political branches. But this is mostly myth. The justices of the Supreme Court are themselves actors in the struggle for power, and when they intervene, they think carefully about how their decisions will affect the court's own legitimacy and authority. — Noah Feldman

Germany Schaefer, trying to send a subtle hint to umpire Billy Evans that the game ought to be called, appeared at second base wearing a yellow rain slicker, — Charles Leerhsen

There was something special about watching a manager and umpire both convinced they were totally right, but knowing that one had to be wrong. As an ump, those moments made my job fun, and getting 'nose-to-nose' was part of my job description. — Doug Harvey

The umpire signals a bye with the air of a weary stalk — John Arlott

Some fans have a mistaken opinion of the average umpire. He is human, all reports to the contrary. Every fellow who is successful is conscientious to almost a fault. — Billy Evans

Rules of society are nothing; one's conscience is the umpire. — Marie Anne De Vichy-Chamrond, Marquise Du Deffand

Being an umpire is like being a king. It prepares you for nothing. — Ron Luciano

Today a pitcher gets fined if the umpire thinks he threw at a batter. In the olden days, the umpire didn't have to take any courses in mind reading. The pitcher told you he was going to throw at you. — Leo Durocher

If either player abandon the game by quitting the table in anger, or in an otherwise offensive manner; or by momentarily resigning the game; or refuses to abide by the decision of the Umpire, the game must be scored against him. — Howard Staunton

Baseball isn't just a game. It's the smell of popcorn drifting in the air, the sight of bugs buzzing near the stadium lights,the roughness of the dirt beneath your cleats. It's the anticipation building in your chest as the anthem plays, the adrenaline rush when your bat cracks against the ball, and the surge of blood when the umpire shouts strike after you pitch. It's a team full of guys backing your every move, a bleacher full of people cheering you on. It's ... life — Katie McGarry

The system is in place whereby if an umpire cries off, or both as was the case here, those umpires are to be replaced. — Mark Webber

It isn't enough for an umpire to merely know what he's doing. He has to look as though he knows what he's doing, too. — Larry Goetz

I am the batsman and the bat, / I am the bowler and the ball, / The umpire, the pavilion cat, / The roller, pitch, and stumps, and all. — Andrew Lang

But, you may ask, if the two departments [i.e., federal and state] should claim each the same subject of power, where is the common umpire to decide ultimately between them? In cases of little importance or urgency, the prudence of both parties will keep them aloof from the questionable ground; but if it can neither be avoided nor compromised, a convention of the States must be called to ascribe the doubtful power to that department which they may think best. — Thomas Jefferson

Stengel admitted. "I'm not going to make any decision until I have to give the umpire my batting order. Then you'll know as well as I." The next afternoon, Casey resisted — Andrew O'Toole

Football has end zones and goal posts; basketball has the hoop, and hockey the goal cage. Baseball is the only game with an imaginary box: the strike zone, which the umpire determines at his own discretion. — Richard Corliss

I remember once in high school the umpire called me out at third base when I was sure I was safe. I got so mad I took out my glass eye, handed it to him and said, Try this. I got such a laugh you wouldnt believe. — Peter Falk

Umpire's heaven is a place where he works third base every game. Home is where the heartache is. — Ron Luciano

The umpire ... is like the geyser in the bathroom; we cannot do without it, yet we notice it only when it is out of order. — Neville Cardus

Your job is to umpire for the ball and not the player. — Bill Klem

Where the questions concern governmental power in a sovereign nation, it is not possible to select an umpire who is outside government. Every national government, so long as it is a government, must have the final say on its own power. — Murray N. Rothbard

A good umpire, like a good FBI agent, is never noticed if he is doing his job. — Thomas Boswell

One of the things that I noticed in war was how difficult it was for our soldiers, at first, to realize that there are no rules to war. Our men were raised in sports, where a referee runs a football game, or an umpire a baseball game, and so forth. — Dwight D. Eisenhower

I think umpires have too much power, without any system of checks and balances and the more money a player makes, the more the umpire tries to show off that power to him. Unfortunately, since I signed my contract my strike zone has suddenly become a lot larger. — Ozzie Smith

Since people, in a competitive or any other society, are by no means always just to each other, some regulation by the state in its capacity of umpire is unavoidable, What must be kept in mind is that the greatest in of all is done when the umpire forgets that he too is bound by the rules, and begins to make them as between contestants in behalf of his own prejudices. — Felix Morley

Mark told reporters why he always threw the ball back to the umpire to exchange for a new one after a base hit. "That ball has a hit in it," he explained. "I want that ball to get back in the ball bag and goof around with the other balls. I want him to talk to the other balls. I want the other balls to beat him up. Maybe that'll smarten him up so when he comes out the next time, he'll pop up. — Doug Wilson

In and effort to be fair, an umpire will sometimes cheat. — Dan Gutman

Sometimes you've just got to let an umpire know that you're not satisfied with his decision. That they've missed the play in your opinion. Not that it's going to do you any good, but you've got to let them know. — Tommy Lasorda

The trouble with me is that every match I play against five opponents: umpire, crowd, ball boys, court, and myself. — Goran Ivanisevic

To me, there is no more conscientious umpire in the Major Leagues than Jim Joyce. He gives you a hellacious effort every time. — Tony La Russa

I didn't mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that bastard in the stands. — Babe Ruth

Ideally, the umpire should combine the integrity of a Supreme Court judge, the physical agility of an acrobat, the endurance of Job and the imperturbability of Buddha. — Time-Life Books

Let no one,' I say, 'who will make me no worthy return for such a loss rob me of a single day; let my mind be fixed upon itself, let it cultivate itself, let it busy itself with nothing outside, nothing that looks towards an umpire; let it love the tranquillity that is remote from public and private concern. — Seneca.

No one respects the umpire's job more than I do; but, if I were a manager, I would probably be ejected three or four times a season fighting for my team. — Jim Evans

I remember the Chillicothe ballplayers grappling the Long Island ball players in a sixteen-inning game ended by darkness. And the shoulders of the Chillicothe players were a red smoke against the sundown and the shoulders of the Rock Island players were a yellow smoke against the sundown. And the umpire's voice was hoarse calling balls and strikes and outs and the umpire's throat fought in the dust for a song. — Carl Sandburg

He has two antagonists: the first presses him from behind, from the origin. The second blocks the road ahead. He gives battle to both. To be sure, the first supports him in his fight with the second, for he wants to push him forward, and in the same way the second supports him in his fight with the first, since he drives him back. But it is only theoretically so. For it is not only the two antagonists who are there, but he himself as well, and who really knows his intentions? His dream, though, is that some time in an unguarded moment and this would require a night darker than any night has ever been yet he will jump out of the fighting line and be promoted, on account of his experience in fighting, to the position of umpire over his antagonists in their fight with each other. — Franz Kafka

Whenever you have a tight situation and there's a close pitch, the umpire gets a squawk no matter how he calls it. — Red Barber

And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always]. COLOSSIANS 3:15 — Joyce Meyer

I just umpire. That's what I've done. That's all I can do. I'm one of the fortunate ones on God's earth. I found what God meant for me to do. People ask if I like working home plate best. I just want to be between the white lines. That's where I belong, and I wouldn't have it any other way. — Doug Harvey

It had remained a mystery to me, a catholic magic, i suppose. Faith is the best Googly one can bowl: God, the proverbial third umpire. — Aporva Kala

She'll be evaluated like any other Double-A umpire. Major League Baseball has never attempted to influence our decision — Mike Fitzpatrick

There were umpires everywhere, men who said who was winning or losing the theoretical battle, who was alive adn who was dead.
The umpire had comical news. The congregation had been theoretically spotted from the air by a theoretical enemy. They were all theoretically dead now. The theoretical corpses laughed and ate a hearty noontime meal.
Remembering this incident years later, Billy was struck by what a Tralfamadorian adventure with death that had been, to be dead and to eat at the same time. — Kurt Vonnegut

Stay in college, kids. Otherwise, you may become an umpire. — Andy Roddick

On the whole, life is unfair in the way it works out. It is a game played without an umpire! — Ursula Bloom

This bill would renounce the safe, proper, and acceptable role for Government as a referee of disputes between the governed. It would interpose the Government as a biased protagonist, armed with the awesome authority of the Federal Government, in addition to rulemaking and umpire powers. The broad grants of power to the Attorney General to initiate and intervene in civil actions would go far toward transforming him into George Orwell's 'Big Brother' of '1984,' in the year 1964. — Strom Thurmond

Professional managers, coaches, and players have a right to question an umpire's decision if they do it in a professional manner. When they become personal, profane, or violent, they have crossed the line and must be dealt with accordingly. — Jim Evans

Our students learn more in 30 days than one could learn in 30 years without our training. To really maximize your potential as an umpire, you need to get a solid foundation as soon as you can. — Jim Evans

Anyone who votes for McGowan is 100 percent right. He was a great umpire. He belongs in the Hall of Fame. — Al Barlick

And I will place within them as a guide My umpire conscience, whom if they will hear Light after light well used they shall attain, And to the end persisting, safe arrive. — John Milton

Chaos umpire sits And by decision more embroils the fray by which he reigns: next him high arbiter Chance governs all. — John Milton

Cardinal rule for all hitters with two strikes on them: Never trust the umpire. — Robert Smith

I want to stress again one aspect of the game which is most important. Never argue with an umpire. — Ian Botham

It is the duty of the Umpire to determine all questions submitted to him according to these laws, when they apply, and according to his best judgment when they do not apply. — Howard Staunton

Again Serena's frustrations, her disappointments, exist within a system you understand not to try to understand in any fair-minded way because to do so is to understand the erasure of the self as systemic, as ordinary. For Serena, the daily diminishment is a low flame, a constant drip. Every look, every comment, every bad call blossoms out of history, through her, onto you. To understand is to see Serena as hemmed in as any other black body thrown against our American background. "Aren't you the one that screwed me over last time here?" she asks umpire Asderaki. "Yeah, you are. Don't look at me. Really, don't even look at me. Don't look my way. Don't look my way," she repeats, because it is that simple. — Claudia Rankine

I am primarily a lawyer. I would rather play in the game than be the umpire. — Lewis F. Powell Jr.

Listen to your hearts, parents! You are the expert when it comes to knowing your child. I love the Scripture that says we are to let the peace of God rule in our hearts ... In other words, peace in your heart is to be like an umpire calling the shots. When in doubt
DON'T! — Sherrie Eldridge

Most plays that are missed by the umpire are caused by the umpire not reading those cues early enough and making the proper adjustments. — Jim Evans

When asked what he was fighting for, General Washington, in writing to General Thomas, said the object was 'neither glory nor extent of territory, but a defense of all that is dear and valuable in life.' He must have been an umpire. That's what umpiring is about. — Doug Harvey

The problem with art is, it's not like the game of golf where you put the ball in the hole. There's no umpire; there's no judge. There are no rules. It's one of its problems. But it's also one of the great things about art. It becomes a question of what lasts. — Richard Prince

I was a great base umpire, but I was the most mediocre plate umpire to ever come into the major leagues. — Doug Harvey

I want you to know that I am one of the more fortunate people in life. There aren't too many of us that somebody selects and says, 'You know, that guy ought to be an umpire.' That's what happened to me. — Doug Harvey

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball. — James Patrick Murray

A good umpire is the umpire you don't even notice — Ban Johnson

Peace is our inheritance from Jesus, but we have to choose to follow Him daily. Colossians 3:15 teaches us that peace is to be the "umpire" in our lives, settling every issue that needs a decision. To gain and maintain peace in our hearts, we may have to learn to say no to a few things. — Joyce Meyer

The public wouldn't like the perfect umpire in every game. It would kill off baseball's greatest alibi - 'We was robbed.' — Billy Evans

Being an umpire wasn't such a tough job. You really have to understand only two things and that's maintaing discipline and knowing the rule book. — Cal Hubbard

When politicians complain about the media, it strikes me as resembling footballers complaining about the umpire. — Tony Abbott

In sport, part of the game is accepting the umpire's call, no matter how hard that might be. Sometimes the calls go your way, and sometimes they don't. — Dot Richardson

I've never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes. — Leo Durocher

I must admit, I was born to officiate; I was made to officiate. I miss it. I knew why I was doing it. God made me to umpire. — Doug Harvey

Anyone interested in becoming a professional umpire and becoming eligible to work in the minor leagues must attend one of the two umpire schools sanctioned by Major League Baseball. — Jim Evans

Peace is the umpire for doing the will of God. — Edwin Louis Cole

I recoil with horror at the ferociousness of man. Will nations never devise a more rational umpire of differences than force? Are there no means of coercing injustice more gratifying to our nature than a waste of the blood of thousands and of the labor of millions of our fellow creatures? — Thomas Jefferson

As a whole, the managers today are different in temperament. Most have very good communication skills and are more understanding of the umpire's job. That doesn't mean they are better managers. It just means that I perceive today's managers a bit differently. — Jim Evans

When I was a teenager, I was an umpire for a competitive league for 8- to 9-year-olds. I was really bad at it because I didn't know all the rules, and all these kids were better athletes than me. I made a bad call, and this dad snapped on me. Then he dumped his trash from his cooler, and I had to kick him out of the stands. — Adam DeVine

The way I see it, an umpire must be perfect on the first day of the season and then get better every day. — Nestor Chylak

Chemistry is really about two people who like to act together, I think. It's like tennis in the most cliched way. It's like if you hit the ball, they hit the ball back, and they don't hit it into the stands, and they don't put the ball in their pocket and walk off - and they don't argue with the umpire, you know? — David Duchovny

As we all know, Cooperstown is the home of baseball. One of the many duties of the home plate umpire is to make sure that the runner touches home. Well, if you're a true baseball fan, you need to visit Cooperstown. This is home. — Doug Harvey

You had to pitch in and out. The zone didn't belong to the hitters; it belonged to the pitchers. Today, if you pitch too far inside, the umpire would stop you right there. I don't think it's fair. — Juan Marichal

I couldn't see well enough to play (baseball) when I was a boy, so they gave me a special job - they made me an umpire. — Harry S. Truman

The umpire had comical news. The congregation had been theoretically spotted from the air by a theoretical enemy. They were all theoretically dead now. The theoretical corpses laughed and ate a hearty noontime meal. — Kurt Vonnegut

Many baseball fans look upon an umpire as a sort of necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile. — Christy Mathewson

The way we have been playing, I might tell my players not to cross the picket line (umpire strike of 1979). — Whitey Herzog

If custom is to avail for proof of soundness, we too, surely, may advance our prevailing custom; and if they reject this, we are surely not bound to follow theirs. Let the inspired Scripture, then, be our umpire, and the vote of truth will surely be given to those whose dogmas are found to agree with the Divine words. — Gregory Of Nyssa

Judges are like umpires. Umpires don't make the rules. They apply them. The role of an umpire and a judge is critical. They make sure everybody plays by the rules. But it is a limited role. Nobody ever went to a ballgame to see the umpire. — John Roberts

The job of arguing with the umpire belongs to the manager, because it won't hurt the team if he gets thrown out of the game. — Earl Weaver

I get what I desire, it's my empire
And yes I call the shots, I am the umpire — Nicki Minaj

When I was 14, I played in a summer league. One night the chief umpire asked me if I would like to try umpiring. There was a Little League tournament coming up and he needed more umpires than he had. — Jim Evans

Every man's reason is his own rightful umpire. This principle, with that of acquiescence in the will of the majority, will preserve us free and prosperous as long as they are sacredly observed. — Thomas Jefferson

I was correct in every call I made, regardless of what managers, players or replay may have said. To me, that's the reason I'm in the Hall of Fame. If I didn't umpire with conviction, I wouldn't have made it for long. — Doug Harvey

My dad was a carpenter and I would work with him during the summer and umpire on the nights I wasn't playing. — Jim Evans

In case of dispute, the umpire shall throw it straight into the field. — James Naismith

I am deeply saddened and shocked at the loss of umpire Wally Bell. — Joe Torre

If you're a photographer, they give you a camera. If you're a writer, they give you a typewriter. If you're an umpire, they give you an unseen object and they call it a strike zone, and nobody seems to agree with you no matter what you call. — Doug Harvey

Yes, I was in that game where George Brett hit that home run. Billy saw there was too much pine tar on the bat and he went to the umpire, the next thing we knew they were fighting about it. — Bert Campaneris

Just death, kind umpire of men's miseries. — William Shakespeare

An angry player can't argue with the back of an umpire who is walking away. — Bill Klem

I say to you, you want a thrill, volunteer to be an umpire. I'd like you to go just work the bases some day. Just go do that. You're going to love it. Try the slow-pitch stuff. You'll love it. Ask my son - he tried it! He said, 'I've never seen so many idiots in all my life.' — Doug Harvey

You argue with the umpire because there is nothing else you can do about it. — Leo Durocher