Twit Quotes & Sayings

[ ... ] falling in love with someone beautiful and intelligent and the rest of it, then feeling like a blank twit put you at something of a disadvantage. — Nick Hornby

Because those, who twit others with their faults, should look at home. — Plautus

What we have here, fellow citizens, is a crassly egocentric, raving twit. — Molly Ivins

That is not what I was saying, you crazy twit!"
"Cut it out! You do not to play the I'm-so-dark-and twisty-I deserve-to-be-punished card. — Heather Fleener

You can stay home," V muttered. "You really can totally f-in' stay the f home, you f'ed-up mother-f'ing f-twit."
Lassiter clasped his breastplate, and swooned like Julie Andrews. "Don't you love it when he can't swear? Warms my cockles - it's like watching a drunk on roller skates try to play dodgeball in the dark - — J.R. Ward

You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you. — Prince Philip

He got one of those intelligent phones. Now he's trying to twit the President. — Colleen Hoover

I'm not fucking you, not until you tell me the truth about Uram.'
Something dark crawled across his face. 'Sexual blackmail, Elena?'
She snorted. 'You treat me like a pet. Go fetch the bad archangel/vampire/whatever the fuck he is, Ellie, but don't you dare ask me why. It'd be too much for your little human head.' Dropping the saccharine-sweet tone, she glared. 'I don't sleep with men who think I'm a brainless twit. — Nalini Singh

He knows she's his daughter, twit. (Artemis)
Twit? Moi? The Simi? Why, I do believe the bitch-goddess has done gone and gotten herself confused. She thinks she's me, not that I blame her. All women want to be me because of my beautoneousness and the fact that I have such stylish clothing and sparklies. But believe me, I ain't no heifer-goddess. (Simi) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Anyway, I went out and bought thousands of dollars worth of mature clothes so I'd look like a person to be taken seriously, instead of a pretty little twit. — Shelley Duvall

The transience of human feeling is nothing short of ludicrous. My mercurial fluctuations in the course of a single evening made me feel as if I had a character made pf chewing gum. I had fallen into the ugly depths of self-pity, a terrain just above the even more hideous lowlands of despair. Then, easily distracted twit that I am, I had, soon after, found myself on maternal heights, where I had practically swooned with pleasure as I bobbed and fondled the borrowed homunculus next door. I had eaten well, drunk too much wine, and embraced a young woman I hardly knew. In short, I had thoroughly enjoyed myself and had every intention of doing so again. [p. 59] — Siri Hustvedt

Love this description of minor character, Lou Zicutto: Lou was branch claims manager of the mammoth insurance company where Decker worked part-time as an investigator. Lou was a spindly little twit, maybe a hundred twenty pounds, but he had a huge florid head, which he shaved every day. As a result he looked very much like a Tootsie Pop with lips. — Carl Hiaasen

Some of your writer friends will do better than you, by whatever standard you decide "better" counts as. And you know what you should do? Be happy for them, you neurotic twit. — John Scalzi

So if u shorten words to get what u want in within 140 characters it makes u a twit? — Rio Ferdinand

My grandmother looks at me and shakes her head. "He got one of those intelligent phones. Now he's trying to twit the president." "Smart phones," I correct her. "And it's tweet, not twit." "He follows me," my grandfather says defensively. "I'm not kidding, he really does! — Colleen Hoover

Why any self-respecting fairy godmother would pass them over for an inane twit who relied on animals to do her housecleaning was beyond her. — Marie Hall

Henry went down on one knee. 'Like King Arthur's knights,' Mr. Fogarty had told him, but he didn't feel much like a knight. In fact he felt like a twit. — Herbie Brennan

For God's sake, don't let her watch Cinderella. What kind of example is that? A mindless twit who can't even remember where she left her damn shoe, so she has to wait for some douchebag in tights to bring it to her? Give me a frigging break! — Emma Chase

You are a major dimwit. Is your brain made out of jello, you spineless twit? A leaf? What do you think I am, one of those magical raccoons? I'm a concept, get it? Con-cept! Concepts and raccoons aren't exactly the same, now are they? What a dumb thing to say ... — Haruki Murakami

Tupper, I think in The Victor. Alf was a working class, whippet-thin runner known as the Tough of the Track who won all his races despite having been up all night making briquettes to save a friend's business, missing his bus to the stadium, being knocked over mid-race by a poncy upper-class twit and losing one of his raggedy running shoes. — Douglas Skelton

No, no, you twit, move towards the well-hung male of the species! It's only natural; you don't want to insult Mother Nature. Go claim your mate. — Jenna McCormick

I'm not very nostalgic, you see. I just don't think anybody has that kind of thing anymore. By culture, by breeding, by whatever, it's not there. The kids today-what the hell are they going to be? I like young people - yes, I do. But when I talk to people at the schools, and they say, "I saw you on the Twit," I don't even know what they are talking about. — Manolo Blahnik

I'm just the last English twit, really. — Colin Firth

I can't figure Twitter out. The way Twitter is formatted, I can't tell who is saying something and who's replying to something. I don't know who the tweeter is and who's responding to the twit. — Rush Limbaugh

There are few things less stylish than a boring, self absorbed twit ... — Karen Karbo

Foul fiend of France and hag of all despite,
Encompassed with thy lustful paramours,
Becomes it thee to taunt his valiant age
And twit with cowardice a man half dead? — William Shakespeare

Once we've got you properly done up," her aunt said, "and he hears of your newfound wealth, he's sure to look your way again."
"I don't want him looking my way again. He was a pompous twit back then, and he's a pompous twit now."
"Respectable, God-fearing men sometimes are, dear. — Sabrina Jeffries

He wanted to start from the top while he knew nothing of the beginning and that was why he was always swimming at the bottom. He liked to think he was an entrepreneur and was even on Dragon's Den with the silliest invention ever: a machine to scratch his back. Why don't you just reach out, you lazy twit? — Luella Christie

If Edgar sounded overeager, even rushed, the race was with his own temperament. He placed a premium on savvy. Yet since you could only obtain new information by admitting you didn't know it already, savvy required an apprenticeship as a naive twit. You had to ask crude, obvious questions ... you had to sit still while worldly-wise warhorses ... fired withering glances as if you were born yesterday.
Well, Edgar was born yesterday for the moment, although his tolerance for being treated liked a simpleton was in short supply. He'd needed to rattle off a multitude of stupid questions before he embraced his next incarnation as an insider. The trouble was that savvy coated your brain in plastic like a driver's license: nothing more could get in. Hence the point at which you decided you knew everything was exactly the point at which you became an ignorant dipshit. — Lionel Shriver

Ungrateful little twit." The egg-man scowls at me. "Looking a gift spider in the fangs. See if you're invited to tea again. — A.G. Howard

I knew I had arrived when taxi drivers would say, 'You're that twit on the Billy Cotton Show, aren't you?' — Jeremy Lloyd

Now you listen to me," says Ove calmly while he carefully closes the door. "You've given birth to two children and quite soon will be squeezing out a third. You've come here from a land far away and most likely you fled war and persecution and all sorts of other nonsense. You've learned a new language and got yourself an education and you're holding together a family of obvious incompetents. And I'll be damned if I've seen you afraid of a single bloody thing in this world before now ... I'm not asking for brain surgery. I'm asking you to drive a car. It's got an accelerator, a brake and a clutch. Some of the greatest twits in world history have sorted out how it works. And you will as well." And then he utters seven words, which Parvaneh will always remember as the loveliest compliment he'll ever give her. "Because you are not a complete twit. — Fredrik Backman

Occasionally, he left the compound. I'd figured he must be out hunting, at least some of the time, but he hadn't returned with a new icon, and I'd heard nothing on Arcana Radio. Plus, Lark's laminated player list - the little twit actually did keep it on the fridge door - had had no updates since the Star.

Well, other than her scratching my title out and scribbling in "The Unclean One." Har. — Kresley Cole

I wondered when I would stop feeling like such a clueless twit for that misplaced trust. — Tammara Webber

For tech, I like the 'DailySearchCast', 'TWiT' and anything Veronica Belmont does on CNET. I think Perez Hilton is a riot, and the rest of my consumption is by people: Folks like Dave Winer, Fred Wilson, Mark Cuban, Brian Alvey, Jeff Jarvis, Xeni Jardin, etc. — Jason Calacanis

What's happened? screamed Mrs. Twit. They stood in the middle of the room, looking up. All the furniture, the big table, the chairs, the sofa, the lamps, the little side tables, the cabinet with bottles of beer in it, the ornaments, the electric heater, the carpet, everything was stuck upside down to the ceiling. The pictures were upside down on the walls. And the floor they were standing on was absolutely bare. What's more, it had been painted white to look like the ceiling. — Roald Dahl

Mr. Twit was a twit. He was born a twit. And, now at the age of sixty, he was a bigger twit than ever. — Roald Dahl

The buying of a self-help book is the most desperate of all human acts. It means you've lost your mind completely: You've entrusted your mental health to a self-aggrandizing twit with a psychology degree and a yen for a yacht. — Cynthia Heimel

I prefer the term 'resourceful twit.' - Kara — S.M. Boyce

Hey, my spaghetti's moving!" cried Mr. Twit, poking around in it with his fork.
"It's a new kind," Mrs. Twit said, taking a mouthful from her own plate which of course had no worms. "It's called Squiggly Spaghetti. It's delicious. Eat it up while it's nice and hot. — Roald Dahl

Admiral Naismith," said Quinn stiffly, "is not a dwarf. He's nearly five feet tall. And I am not 'in love' with him, you low-minded twit; I merely admire his brilliance. Professionally. — Lois McMaster Bujold

Tyra's always standing up for herself and her "race" over perceived slights. For example, she'll say, "You just pushed me because I'm black!" No, I pushed you because the train was coming right at you, you bulimic twit. — Joan Rivers

Remaining relaxed in his seat, he murmured, "Take down your hood."
A slender white hand reached up, and she complied. The hood slipped away from hair so vividly red that it eclipsed the embers in the fireplace.
Sebastian shook his head in bemusement as he recognized the young woman. The ridiculous creature from the house party at Stony Cross Park. A shy, stammering twit, whose red hair and voluptuous figure might make her tolerable company as long as she kept her mouth shut. They had never actually spoken. Miss Evangeline Jenner, he recalled. She had the largest, roundest eyes he had ever seen, rather like the eyes of a wax doll... or a young child. — Lisa Kleypas

Morgan said that his mother said that Miss Kildaire is sitting on a shelf."
Zach had to think about that one for a few seconds. "He said she's on the shelf?"
"Uh-huh." An emphatic nod. "I don't know why Miss Kildaire would sit on a shelf, but that's what Morgan said."
"I'm guessing there's more."
"And then Morgan said that his mother said that Miss Kildaire was too fat to get a man."
What a load of horseshit, Zach thought. Morgan's mother was probably some shriveled-up jealous twit. "I see."
"And then Morgan said she was a cripple."
Zach had a sudden urge to punch out the little rat himself. — Nalini Singh

Get out," he said flatly. "I just got her normal again. Get out before you turn her into a sniveling, twitterpated ... twit!"
"Jenks!" I exclaimed, and Pierce put a calming hand on me.
"That is my intent, Jenks," he said gallantly, and I wondered if Pierce meant his intent was to leave or to turn me into a twitterpated twit. — Kim Harrison