Tonight Show Quotes & Sayings

It's really not that hard. If I do a Tonight Show, it's six or seven minutes. If I do a concert, it's 90 minutes. If I do an interview, that's 15 minutes. So by the end of the day I've done three hours worth of work. — Howie Mandel

Needle&Thread: Kite ... how did everything change? My heart beats for you, my soul craves yours. During the Second Debt we
shared everything. We were free. I hate this distance now. Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking. You give me nothing,
but I see everything. Trust me. Come to me tonight. Let me show you I'm yours forever. This doesn't have to be complicated.
I love you. Love is simple, kind. Love is forgiveness. Can we forgive each other before it's too late?
Tears ran silently over my cheeks as I pressed send. — Pepper Winters

Just inside the doorway he puts down the bags, motions her to stand by them a minute. He saunters out ahead, carefully casual. Peers up one way, down the other. Nothing. The street's dead to the world.
Then suddenly, from nowhere, ping! Something flicks off the wall just behind him, flops at his feet like a dead bug. He doesn't bend down to look closer, he can tell what kind of a bug it is all right. He's seen that kind of bug before, plenty of times. No flash, no report, to show which direction it came from. Silencer, of course.
He hasn't moved. Fsssh! and a bee or wasp in a hurry strokes by his cheek, tingles, draws a drop of slow blood. Another pokk! from the wall, another bug rolling over. The insect-world seems very streamlined, very self-destructive, tonight. ("Jane Brown's Body") — Cornell Woolrich

My dictum has always been: 'This show is happening just here, just tonight, with these people who are in this hall, and nobody knows what's going to happen until it's done.' — Peter Hammill

Ya know, if you treat every comic the way you treated me tonight, you would never see a bad show. — Buddy Hackett

Zane rolled his eyes, glad he had come alone. Hell of a negotiator John would be. He would have given the whole damn company away and they'd all have been working for his father, God help them.
"So, how long?" John asked.
"I hope soon. With any luck he 'll have something for me to sign tomorrow. I'm going to hang here tonight, unless we get called in." It wouldn't kill him to sleep under his father's roof for one night, probably. That would also give time for the required show of good faith: the date with Missy.
"So that will be it then, a signed contract and we're good to go?"
"That's it." A signed contract and Zane's bachelorhood, if his father had his way. — Cat Johnson

He stared right back at Blaylock and let everything he had in his heart show in his face.
He just let that shit fly.
Because there was a lesson in this Fade ceremony tonight: You could lose the ones you loved in the blink of an eye - and he was willing to bet, when it happened, you weren't thinking about all the reasons that could have kept you apart. You thought of all the reasons that kept you together.
And, no doubt, how you wished you'd had more time. Even if you'd had centuries ...
When you were young, you thought time was a burden, something to be discharged as fast as possible so you could be grown-up. But it was such a bait-and-switch - when you were an adult, you came to realize that minutes and hours were the single most precious thing you had.
No one got forever. And it was a fucking crime to waste what you were given.
-Qhuinn — J.R. Ward

Yes. Da,' I corrected.
'Say it again.'
'What?'
His voice grew husky as he repeated his request. 'Say yes - in Russian - again.'
I blushed. 'Da,' I whispered. 'Will you teach me more Russian, Pietr?'
'Mmm, only the important words,' he promised.
I bit back my request for the three most important words to me. 'What words would you teach me?'
'Pocelujte menyah.'
'What's that mean?'
He groaned. 'Repeat it tonight and perhaps I will show you. — Shannon Delany

Well, life isn't cheap. It's the greatest mystery of any millennium, and television needs to do all it can to broadcast that ... to show and tell what the good in life is all about.
But how do we make goodness attractive? By doing whatever we can do to bring courage to those whose lives move near our own
by treating our 'neighbor' at least as well as we treat ourselves and allowing that to inform everything that we produce.
Who in your life has been such a servant to you? Who has helped you love the good that grows within you? Let's just take ten seconds to think of some of those people who have loved us and wanted what was best for us in life, those who have encouraged us to become who we are tonight - just ten seconds of silence.
No matter where they are, either here or in heaven, imagine how pleased those people must be to know that you thought of them right now. — Fred Rogers

Dogs are intelligent beings; they are not human beings. The life of a dog - there's no equivalency with the life of a person, and if you are putting a dog in the line of danger to save human life, and they can do the job reasonably well, I mean, seriously, what about dignity and self-respect?I feel like going out to dinner, I think I will have my cocker spaniel host the show tonight. — Tucker Carlson

Before we begin, I want your word that much of what I show you tonight stays between us. — Ronald Malfi

Oooo ... He's being a saucy motherfu*ker tonight. He does wrong and I'm the one who gets treated like the whore of Babylon. Fine, he wants a show I'll give him a damn show. — S.K. Logsdon

Scientists like myself merely use their gifts to show up that which already exists, and we look small compared to the artists who create works of beauty out of themselves. If a good fairy came and offered me back my youth, asking me which gifts I would rather have, those to make visible a thing which exists but which no man has ever seen before, or the genius needed to create, in a style of architecture never imagined before, the great Town Hall in which we are dining tonight, I might be tempted to choose the latter. — Max Perutz

His velvet brush dips deep and lingers there in the warm inkwell of her endless desire. The ink of passion flows for him tonight, so he may show her how it feels for his muse to be so truly needed by an ardent lover.

His hunger to write poems of love's power upon the warm supple parchment of her skin, secret words that only she can comprehend until his brush runs dry and he returns to dip again in ink made by the gods for calligraphy of wanton desire. — Brianna Hughes

Trust me, I've still got it," I whisper as my mouth descends toward his cock. And I'm going to prove it to him. Show him how much I fucking love him, because I sure as shit can't tell him. I take a breath. His erection is millimeters away and it's mine. Tonight, he's mine. I grip his shaft and give it a light squeeze. He shudders in response, watching me. Waiting. — Sarina Bowen

I'm so excited and honored to be part of 'Entertainment Tonight!' 'E.T.' was the show that started all the entertainment news, so I couldn't be more thrilled. — Nancy O'Dell

I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way. — Joe Rogan

In 1980, when I graduated from high school, my goal was to be on 'The Tonight Show' with Johnny Carson at least once before our ten-year class reunion. Our class reunion was in June of 1990, and I was on 'The Tonight Show' in April 1990, so I made it by a few months. — Jeff Dunham

When I got a call from Los Angeles to do the Tonight Show, I considered it more of an inconvenience than an opportunity. — Lorna Luft

Over the weekend, of course, down there in Washington, D.C., they had the big White House Correspondents' Dinner. Do you know who was really funny? President Obama. So funny, in fact, he has already been promised 'The Tonight Show' in five years. — David Letterman

After my 1985 appearance on 'The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,' I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom. — Roseanne Barr

The only things that give it the illusion of being one country are the green-back, The Tonight Show, and McDonald's. — Neil Gaiman

It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career. — Gary Gulman

We can't thank Dave enough. He could call me if my wife was about to have a baby and tell me he needed tonight for his show and I'd find some way to get her to let me head to New York. — Darius Rucker

It used to be that if you got on 'The Tonight Show,' your career was made. Now, if you're on 'The Tonight Show,' maybe 14 more people show up to your gig in Tulsa. — Mike Birbiglia

There's always something about the Tonight Show that makes me a little bit anxious, nervous, excited. But it's good. It's good. It's been real good for me. It always has helped my career and Jay and all the people here have always been great. — Jon Secada

I gotta call Vanni tonight, and tell her. I've got her all confused and totally furious ... "
"Paul, you can't tell her on the phone," Jack said.
"But - "
"Paul! She's gonna hang up on you! And then the next time you show your face, she's going to put a bullet in your head. And Walt will help her line up her shot. — Robyn Carr

That's how you make me feel tonight. You. Crush. Me. Under your magnificent light show. — Katie Kacvinsky

This morning my dad called me up and said, 'So, tonight's your last show, huh.' And I said, 'No, Dad, that's someone else.' — Jimmy Fallon

The sightseers would have been disappointed, as the real thing always makes a poorer show than the fake. ("I'm Dangerous Tonight") — Cornell Woolrich

Corey's feelings mattered. But so did Angelo's. Angelo mattered. But if Corey was planning to cast him aside? Well, then Angelo wanted to give him a good look at exactly what he'd be missing before that happened. And he was going to show him tonight. "Fuck time," he said, and got into his car. Time could kiss his ass. — Darien Cox

Bill Murray is on the show tonight. Next week I'll be Goggling 'foods that improve prostate health.' — David Letterman

I don't know if I have the willpower to let you put your mouth on me. I won't last, not tonight."

It was intoxicating, the thought that he could want her that hard, that much. "So? Come in my mouth, and then show me all the things you've wanted to do to me."

Noah groaned, his fingers tightening until her scalp tingled. "That is a filthy fucking suggestion. — Kit Rocha

Theodore," Ben says, interrupting him. " You seem like a... nice guy."
"Thanks," Theodore says, smiling.
"Let me finish," Ben says, holding up a finder in warning. "Because you're about to hate me. I lied. I'm not writing a paper." He points at Glenn. "This guy told me earlier today where to show up tonight so that I could find the girl I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with. And I'm sorry, but that girl just so happens to be your date. And I'm in love with her. Like, really in love with her. Crippling, debilitating, paralyzing love. So please accept my sincerest apologies, because she's coming home with me tonight. I hope. I pray." Ben shoots me an endearing look. "Please ? Otherwise this speech will make me look like a complete fool and that won't be good when we tell our grandkids about this. — Colleen Hoover

We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get. — LIZ

Do you really think you can order me around?" He crossed his arms over his chest in a show of dominance.
"I have more cupcakes in my apartment. You can have them if you fix this tonight."
"Are you trying to bribe me?"
"Is it working?"
"Yes. — Helena Hunting

I was supposed to be on the Tonight Show but I broke my shoulder instead. — Rip Taylor

My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81. — Garry Shandling

Mitt Romney was a guest on 'The Tonight Show' on NBC. It's interesting - you have an empty suit trying to please everyone, and then Romney comes out. — David Letterman

I gave up my base in popular culture when I left the Tonight Show. — Branford Marsalis

That's why I had to leave Hair on Broadway, because I did it for about a year, and one night I was doing the show, and I realized, well, this is not real. I told the director. He says, man, it was a killer show tonight. — Barry McGuire

No, no. I have been practicing ... I bowled a 129. It's like
it was like Special Olympics, or something."
making an off-hand joke during an appearance on "The Tonight Show", March 19, 2009 — Barack Obama

Steve Laurence is the only person that was on the first 'Tonight Show,' right to the end. He was a little high school boy, 14 years old. — Jayne Meadows

Tonight, she'll bend for my punishment, tremble for my touch, and I'll risk it all to show her exactly what she means to me. — Pam Godwin

I still sweat bullets if I go on The Tonight Show, but I tell myself, You can either have fun tonight or you can be shy and miserable. You ask my friends or anyone I work with now - nobody would say I was shy. — Lara Flynn Boyle

Shine, shine, shine tonight- It's time to let it show- Burn bright, light the fire- That leads the way to hope- The Maker of the stars lives in our soul- We have His light, what are we waiting for- Get out and glow. — Moriah Peters

My first acting gig was a skit for Jay Leno on 'The Tonight Show.' It was this Barbie commercial where I got to pour mud all over Barbie dolls and watch the heads pop off. It was so exciting, a lot of fun. — Brie Larson

On 'Idol,' you have to show off your vocal abilities, so I stuck to the ballads, so I'm glad my first single is 'Tonight' so I can show off my fun, young side, and what I want to do as an artist. — Jessica Sanchez

I think all of this - The Roots and DJing included - was meant to prepare me for The Tonight Show. — Questlove

I gently pressed my lips to hers, trying with everything I had in me to convey what I was feeling through that kiss. It was so slow and natural. A kiss that expressed every word I'd just spoken and so much more I still wanted to say. And it was the kiss that confirmed what I'd already known. I was willingly falling for the beautiful wounded girl before me. I wanted nothing more than to show her that everything in her past could be forgotten if she gave me the chance to give her a new beginning.
"Can I stay with you tonight?" I whispered as I pulled back from our kiss and rested my forehead to hers. — C.A. Harms

Host: For those of you just tuning in, our guests tonight are the amazing Murder Magician, and his lovely minion, The Assistant ...
Assistant: Charmed, I'm sure
Host: Who recently killed The Rumor. And you were awarded the Oppenheimer prize for villainy at last week's annual summit for dastardly deeds
what are you going to do with all that money?
Murder Magician: Well, I'm so glad you asked that
because I spent all the money on this giant MURDERBOT, and I've been dying to show it off!
Assistant: It's true ... every penny.
Host: Wow! That's impressive! So what does it do?
Murder Magician: Well, Mr. Clark ... it murders people.
Laughter.
Murder Magician: I'm serious.
Assistant: He is. — Gerard Way

It used to be if you wanted to be a comedian, you used to just do sets. You'd go up three times a night, just get better, and then some people would see you and you'd do 'The Tonight Show,' and then boom, you're a comedian. — Kurt Braunohler

Today, I show you Lake Como even though I don't know fuck all about Lake Como; I do know how to drive a boat. Tonight, no parties, no friends, no nothing. You, me, dinner. Later tonight, just you and me. You with me?"
"I'm with you," I whispered, and I was with him. So with him. — Kristen Ashley

Go to Zillicks down the block. It has three booths at the back. Go in the middle one and wait. When you lamp me turning the pages of the directory outside, shove your money in the return-coin slot and walk out. Take it easy. Don't let the druggist see you. Your stuff'll be there when you go back for it. If you're even a dime short don't show up, it won't do ya no good. Twelve o'clock tonight.'
'Twelve o'clock;' Fisher agreed. They separated. How many a seemingly casual street-corner conversation like that on the city's streets has just such an unguessed, sinister topic. Murder, theft, revenge, narcotics. While the crowd goes by around it unaware. ("I'm Dangerous Tonight") — Cornell Woolrich

I'm the producer of "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon," so I definitely have an exciting day job. — Josh Lieb

If drummers are 'anti-solo,' that's up to them. They're musicians, and they can play whatever they want. But my inspirations early on were people like Buddy Rich, seeing him on 'The Tonight Show', or Gene Krupa. — Neil Peart

I have the kind of show that reminds you of your problems, and then I talk about other problems you didn't even know you had until tonight. — Doug Stanhope

See, you don't get it. You never fucking got it. You've avoided me since Thanksgiving break.
Dropped the Goddamn class and I know that was because of me, and every time I tried to talk to you, you fucking ran from me."
"You didn't want to talk to me the day I thanked you for helping me out," I pointed out.
"Gee, I don't know why? Maybe because you made it painfully clear you didn't want anything to do with me. And then you just show up tonight?
Out of the fucking blue and get drunk? You don't get it. — J. Lynn

That reminds me - I want you to start practicing the dances you learned. Show me one before bed tonight." He nuzzled her hair and murmured, "If it is adequate, I will take you and please us both. If not, I'll beat on you first for a while and then take you anyway." She gave a sigh of utter content and leaned back on his chest. "Yes, Master. — Cherise Sinclair

He was definitely taking his bodyguard duties seriously tonight. He gave off a take-one-step-closer-and-I-will-show-you-Armageddon vibe. — Christina Henry

Right after the show tonight, I'm going to the New York City car show. You get to see the models that will be crashed next year by drunken Secret Service agents. — David Letterman

Syn was new to relationships Furi had no doubt he could keep him spellbound indefinitely. He would show the gorgeous specimen stretched out beneath him how beautiful it is to be a gay man in a committed relationship. He'd hoped the scene tonight at God and Day's didn't dissuade him. Furi didn't need any more cocks in bed with them. While it could be fun, not all gay men played with other couples. One man was enough for Furi. Syn was man enough for Furi. He'd show him every day if he'd let him. Syn would be able to trust him with his heart and his body, knowing there was no way he'd hurt him. And he secretly hoped Syn felt the same way. "Furi, — A.E. Via

I can be on the Tonight Show, but not with Johnny [Carson]. He uses my name in his monologue all the time. — Paul Reubens

You want to go to a show tonight? There's this band called Crucifictorious from Texas, and they're supposed to be decent. — Cindi Madsen

When we developed the 'Seinfeld' show, we took a bet on Jerry Seinfeld, who was not a household name. But Jerry had a voice. He was appearing on 'Late Night', on 'The Tonight Show', had some commercials out there, his voice of observational comedy, looking at the world around him, that voice was really starting to come into its own. — Warren Littlefield

Donald Trump is on the show tonight. Donald is a big man, I think 230 pounds
235 with cologne. — David Letterman

Don't do it. I let you push me pretty far sometimes, but not this time. I will not have you put your" - it took me a moment to find the right words - "sorcerer's brand on me, so you can hunt me down whenever and wherever you please. And that, Jericho Barrons, is non-negotiable."

Well done, Ms. Lane. Just when I think you're all useless fluff and nails, you show me some teeth."

You win. This time. I won't tattoo you. Not today. But in lieu of that, you will do something for me. Refuse and I tattoo you. And, Ms. Lane, if I chain you up one more time tonight, there'll be no more talking. I'll gag you. — Karen Marie Moning

I was always the class clown; I made my family laugh, and that was when I was always happiest. I grew up listening to stand-up comedians' albums and watching them on TV, on 'The Tonight Show' and Letterman. — Sarah Silverman

I like raconteurs; I like conversation. I liked the 'Tonight Show' when it was 90 minutes, I like when people aren't plugging things per se, and they're just in the moment being interesting. — Jeff Garlin

That's a big responsibility, and the details obsess me. And, also, I no longer feel I have to do the Tonight Show every time I open my mouth. Twenty years ago, I told myself I'd rather direct than act, and it's taken me this long. You lose your passion in acting. You make too many mistakes. Maybe that's why I make so many movies; if you don't like this one, another one's opening on Tuesday. But then I spent six months of my life on 'At Long Last Love,' a picture nobody saw. I enjoyed making it, I learned from it, I grew, but that's too much time out of my life. — Burt Reynolds

I've performed on 'The Tonight Show' with both Johnny Carson and Jay Leno, but not at the same time. — Thomas F. Wilson

Today's tragedy in Paris reminds us very viscerally that it's a right that some people are inexplicably forced to die for. So it's very important tonight that I express that everybody who works at our comedy show, all of us are terribly sad for the families and people of France and anybody in the world tonight who now has to think twice before making a joke. It's not the way it's supposed to be. — Conan O'Brien

Ingmar Bergman had a great sense of humor, and he had a very special, characteristic laugh that you always recognized - if he went to watch a theater show, 'Ah! He is here tonight.' — Max Von Sydow

Tonight, we have the show of a lifetime for you. It is unfiltered, unmanaged, and certainly undeniably awesome!'

'We take no responsibility for any of the bad things that might happen tonight,' says Dum.

'And take all the credit for the fabulous, fantastic, and fun-filled things that will definitely happen tonight,' says Dee. — Susan Ee

Three of tonights performers are members of the group Return To One, whose album Hopes and Dreams I heard for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Blown away by the album, I called Nathan Hubbard, the drummer and composer for the group, and with whom I've played on a couple of Trummerflora-related occasions, and asked him to round up several of his Return To One cohorts for tonight's show. I can't recommend their album highly enough; please pick up a copy ... — Mike Keneally

My first 'Tonight Show' was just one of those things - I mean this seriously - a cosmic, meant-to-be coming together of circumstance. You walk out there to do your first 'Tonight Show': Is the audience going to be hot? Are you going to be on fire? It's like an athlete: Are you going to have your moves at a peak? — Garry Shandling

Internet radio stations like KCRW do take you everywhere, yet that's just one of a hundred small things you have to do to succeed. It used to be, if you just got on the cover of 'Rolling Stone' and a spotlight on 'The Tonight Show,' that was enough. — Teddy Thompson

Do you know what happens when you push a dragon? They burn you alive, baby. You're playing with fire. I've played with fire tonight with Chris, pushed him to be that dragon, and the way he's looking at me now, the way he sees what I do not want him to see, is burning me alive. I know in that moment that I cannot keep asking Chris to show me who he is and not be willing to show him all that I am. — Lisa Renee Jones

I got a call from my mom today, she says, 'Well, David, I see you didn't get the 'Tonight Show' again,' — David Letterman

Yes, I'm supposed to go back to New York to do Geraldo, and we're going to be doing The Tonight Show. — Bobby Sherman

Late-night shows are 'Chopped.' Who are your guests tonight? Your guests tonight are veal tongue, coffee grounds and gummy bears. There, make a show ... Make an appetizer that appeals to millions of people. That's what I like. How could you possibly do it? Oh, you bring in your own flavors. Your own house band is another flavor. — Stephen Colbert

The next step for me is not 'The Tonight Show.' That's a job for Jimmy Fallon. I'm way too divisive for a show like that. — Chelsea Handler

I want to get back and figure out how we're going to make 'The Tonight Show' funny and good. — Andy Richter

The good Samaritan, he's getting dressed, he's getting ready for the show. He's going to the carnival tonight on Desolation Row. — Bob Dylan

I'm glad that that era of stand-up is over, because I think it adversely affected a lot of people who could have been really, really great comedians. Because they unconsciously or subconsciously stifled their wild impulses, and were thinking about the five clean minutes for The Tonight Show, or the 20-minute sitcom pitch as a stand-up act. — Patton Oswalt

I've always wanted to do a segment on a talk show. Jay Leno has been such a good friend, and if he would allow me, I'd have to get it all together, but I'd like to go on 'The Tonight Show' and do a set with no props. Or come out with a trunk and never touch it. Or come out with a clear trunk with nothing in it. — Carrot Top

Well folks, that's about it for the show tonight. — John Fahey

I don't wanna wrestle Big Show tonight because I'm scared that he's gonna eat me! — John Cena

I moved from Cleveland to L.A. with a girlfriend, we broke up, and I lived out of my car for a year and a half, on the road with nothing on my mind but getting my act good enough to be on 'The Tonight Show.' — Drew Carey

Jack Paar took a vacation at the end of May 1958 and Johnny Carson filled in, hosting The Tonight Show for the very first time. It was a historical moment that at the time was dismissed. 'With Carson navigating, it was wholesome, intelligent and mostly dull,' wrote Variety. 'The experience of his helmship will never go down as memorable either for a Carson appearance or for an edition of the show. — Kliph Nesteroff

People don't know this, but early in your career, you don't just glide on to The Tonight Show. — Tea Leoni

I fought back the tears that came with experiencing something as perfect and powerful as the performance I'd just had. That was what theatre was about - that kind of experience. We would never be able to recreate that again. Only the people here tonight would ever know what that show was like. Theater is once in a lifetime ... every time. — Cora Carmack

The big boss wants to take us both out for dinner tonight. Apparently he's into getting to know the families of key employees or something."
"Well, that sounds potentially boring," Elaine remarked. "Do you know where you're going?"
Completely off the top of my head, I named the swankiest restaurant that I could think of.
"You'd better dress up," Elaine warned. "I think that's one of those places where, if you show up not wearing pantyhose, they give you some."
"That is so gross," I said. — Cameron Dokey

Every comedian dreams of hosting 'The Tonight Show' and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. — Conan O'Brien

The Tonight Show didn't seem like an actual job that you could have. All you remember is you watched Johnny Carson, and you never thought he would retire. — Jimmy Fallon

Immanuel Kant is credited with saying, "If the stars came out only once in a lifetime, we'd stay up all that night." Now we stay up late in Plato's cave just to watch the enervated stars on The Tonight Show. — William J. O'Malley

I first started doing hidden-camera segments on 'The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.' He was the coolest guy in the world to work for because he understands the creative process, and he had total trust. And he just let me make up whatever I wanted; I experimented and tried and played. We had a lot of fun over there. — Michael Carbonaro

Went to Jude's party tonight in a tight little black dress to show off figure feeling v. full of myself ...
... There's nothing worse than people telling you you looked tired. They might as well have done with it and say you look like five kinds of shit. — Helen Fielding

I'm so excited. Jay Leno is on the show tonight. He brought some really funny jokes and some great stories. Although I'm a little concerned he also brought his old desk and Kevin Eubanks. I just want Jay to be comfortable, but not too comfortable. — Jimmy Fallon

You've never had a job that you thought was secure. You don't think the Tonight Show is risk free. Especially when you saw what happened with your buddy Conan O'Brien. There is always a Plan B.I am ready to apply to the post office. — Jimmy Fallon