The Fat Bastard Quotes & Sayings

I used to have Santa and the whole coal thing, but between Wade and their father, the little shits get whatever they want. They no longer feel like they need the fat bastard! — Ethan Day

How about Al?" Sam suggested. "Perfect," Dave grinned. "Um ... Hi Poseidon, this is Al." "Al who?" "Al Jacques Yuoff!" Dave snorted, desperately trying not to laugh as Hairy Sam rocked back and forth giggling. "Al Jacques Yuoff?" Poseidon boomed. "You'll jack me off? Thanks you fat bastard!" Dave shrieked and hung up quickly. — Robyn Peterman

[ ... ] Lilith turned on me with the same fury I had watched her unleash on that fat bastard on the TV and I seriously feared for my balls. — Tabitha McGowan

We get pissed off when someone tells us what to do, but we don't know what to do unless some fat bastard tell us. — Beatrice Sparks

This is a foul thing that shouldn't be allowed to exist. No firearms should exist. The fact that they are still made and that all sorts of people have them lying about in drawers or carry them around in the street just shows that the whole system is perverted and crazy. Some bastard makes a fat profit by making and selling arms, just the way other people make a fat profit on factories that make narcotics and deadly pills. Do you get it? — Maj Sjowall

However much this annoyed me, it is accepted practice for a duellist's supporters to cheer them on- in fact, i was entitled to similar outbursts from my own admirers.
'This Undriel fellow really is remarkably skilled,'Kest remarked.
Undriel. That was the bastard's name.
Brasti came to my defence, after a fashion. 'It's not Falcio's fault. He's getting old. And slow. Also, i think he might be getting fat. Just look at him- barely four months since he beat Shuran and already he's half the man he once was.'
Always nice to have friends nearby in troubled times, i thought, batting at Undriel's blade with a clumsy parry that was testament to my increasing exhaustion. — Sebastien De Castell

Thank God! He went down in front of the bar on the tiled floor. BANG! The fat bastard, he shattered both knees with the weight of him. My hands were in just a little bit of pain, but I was driven on to keep punching his fat head in by the gratifying squeals I was eliciting from him and, broken hands or not, with the coup de grace ... I knocked him out. — Stephen Richards

She was struck by how mostly slim white people got off at the stops in Manhattan and, as the train went further into Brooklyn, the people left were mostly black and fat. She had not thought of them as "fat," though. She had thought of them as "big," because one of the first things her friend Ginika told her was that "fat" in America was a bad word, heaving with moral judgement like "stupid" or "bastard," and not a mere description like "short" or "tall." So she had banished "fat" from her vocabulary. — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

She had not thought of them as "fat," though. She had thought of them as "big," because one of the first things her friend Ginika told her was that "fat" in America was a bad word, heaving with moral judgment like "stupid" or "bastard," and not a mere description like "short" or "tall. — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

It wasn't until the show was almost over that I figured out what it was: the crack above my David Onica that I had asked the doorman to tell the superintendent to fix. On my way out this morning, I stopped at the front desk, about to complain to the doorman, when I was confronted with a NEW doorman, my age but balding and homely and FAT. Three glazed jelly doughnuts AND two steaming cups of extra-dark HOT CHOCOLATE lay on the desk in front of him beside a copy of the Post opened to the comics and it struck me that I was infinitely better-looking, more successful and richer than this poor bastard would ever be and so with a passing rush of sympathy I smiled and nodded a curt though not impolite good morning without lodging a complaint. — Bret Easton Ellis