Quotes & Sayings About Tennis Funny

We haven't had any more rain since it stopped raining. — Harry Carpenter

Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other." — Rita Rudner

Zivojinovic seems to be able to pull the big bullet out of the top drawer — Mike Ingham

The serve was invented so that the net could play. — Bill Cosby

It's a lot of bling to play with. You got to have the bling. — Serena Williams

[Lizzie Bennington to a reporter who has asked for her opinion about Jack Archer's celebrated thighs.] When you come back from a set down and bring the match to a final set tiebreak and are a point away from winning the match, only to have what looks like an extremely fit player call a time out because of a cramp and then watch that player sit back and casually converse and laugh while you do your best to keep your mental focus and your body moving so you don't grow cold and cramp yourself, I hardly think you'd concern yourself with his burgeoning manhood, let alone his thighs! — A.G. Starling

Tennis was a game invented by a woman named Samantha Tennis in 1839, in the village of Lobsworth, County of Kent, as a diversion for the wealthy and titled Englishmen of the region, who had nothing better to do at the time but drink, belch and wear funny clothes. — Dan Jenkins

Yeah, you were in my gym class. Didn't you get hit in the face with a tennis ball one time?"
Kiley had long ago accepted that, despite the lack of any reasonable scientific explanation, her face clearly attracted sporting equipment. She'd absolutely gotten hit with a tennis ball, as well as a volleyball, a softball, and a Frisbee. Once she'd even managed to get wacked in the nose with a broom while they'd attempted to play a grounded version of Quidditch. "Yup, that was me. — Ana Blaze

Tennis is a funny game, and it takes a life-time of keeping one's eyes open on the circuit to have any chance of understanding the strange phenomena that exist in our exciting sport! — Sania Mirza

I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said, "Screw it. Cut 'em up!" — Mitch Hedberg

Tennis is a funny game; unbelievable highs and the lows are just as low. — John McEnroe

I think it would be funny to have one of those family decals showing a really skinny teenage girl barfing into a little chalk-outline bag (the bulimic in the family) or the dad figure dressed in the woman's underwear that he truly enjoys slipping into when no one's looking. Or the wife figure smiling with her exaggerated curly hair and tennis skirt, clutching a racket in one hand and a bottle of Stoli' in the other. — Celia Rivenbark

She wore a fitted white scoop neck shirt under a thin jacket, slim brown pants and tennis shoes. He bet she looked hot in four-inch heels. He wondered how long she'd last in this town, and he decided he wanted to sleep with her before she left. — Tami Lund

Jeff's attention is swiveling between the two of them like he's watching a game of tennis being played with a kitten's head instead of a ball. — Kate Sherwood