Tards Quotes & Sayings

The part when they are together for a while, the two of them, before things go wrong. The way things ended always obliterated the genuine happiness that had come before and that shouldn't be the case. — Ann Patchett

Beauty is like piety
you cannot run and read it; tranquility and constancy, with, now-a-days, an easy chair, are needed. — Herman Melville

When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love on like the same day - even Karen the douche bag falls in love! Even retarded people in your neighborhood are getting married on their front lawn as you drive by, "What? The 'tards just got married on their lawn. That's great! I have nobody, and the 'tards just committed to each other for a lifetime of 'tardiness". — Dane Cook

Don't become me. Don't let her down like I did. You only deserve what you make yourself worthy of. Do what I couldn't. Be a man. — Abbi Glines

When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust. — Adam Carolla

Understand yourself, accept yourself, but do not be yourself. — Luke Rhinehart

Dependency is the highest political good - at least for politicians. Since the 1930s, politicians have striven to leave no vote unbought. — James Bovard