Quotes & Sayings About Tampons

She carried it back to me with the ribbon hooked over her long index finger, and dangled the bag in my face. I ask her to marry me and she brings me a souvenir from New York? What the fuck is that? "What the fuck is that?" I asked. "You tell me, genius." "Don't get smart with me, Mills. It's a bag. For all I know you have a granola bar, or your tampons, in there." "It's a ring, dummy. For you. — Christina Lauren

Sex with my first boyfriend was a little bit like learning how to put in a tampon, but only half as enjoyable! — Samantha Bee

You are grown, Abby, dear. You're amazing. I don't know why you don't see that." "But, that's just it. I do see that. I know I'm amazing and that people should get over the past and see that I'm an adult who likes to dance and not just knit. They need to get over the fact that my parents always fought and don't even know who I am anymore. They need to know that I'm not the goody-goody they think I am. But that's not going to happen in a town where everyone knows the exact brand of tampons I use and when I need to buy them." Jordan curled a lip and shook her head. "That's just sick. You know, that was one part of small-town living I didn't miss." "Yeah, just wait until they make a connection to when you stop buying them. Because believe me, they're watching to see when you and Matt make a mini Cooper." She laughed at her own joke, even as Jordan's eyes widened. "You're kidding, right? We just got married. — Carrie Ann Ryan

A good man buys you tampons when you run out. He does the dishes. He makes you coffee before you're awake in the morning. He listens to you when you're talking, even if it's about home decor. He goes out of his way to touch you, even if it's just your hand. He doesn't call it 'babysitting' when he looks after his own children. He calls you from work just to hear your voice. And he always thinks you're beautiful, even
no, especially
when you don't. — Katherine Center

(You think you know suffering? What about life before dishwashers? Washing machines? Tampons? Vacuum cleaners? You have no idea. No idea!) — Magnus Flyte

It was like a commercial for laundry detergent or tampons or a prescription medication with death listed as a possible side effect. — Carolyn Lee Adams

First the fact that the only items on open display seem to be tampons, breast pumps, and douches, making one feel as a female more soiled and wretched than even two thousand years of Catholic catechism could do. — Belle De Jour

Any rapist would feel pretty dang upset to see his car packed full with rotting fish heads and limburger cheese ... Also, if the 542 women responsible were crowded onto the street where he lived, insisting that he move himself and his stinky car to another locale.
Nobody likes to be pelted with 2060 bloody tampons. — Inga Muscio

Aurora!" Dad came running out.
"Over here."
"We're going to head home." Dad leaned against a post at the bottom of the steps. "Hey, guys. What're you talking about?"
I smiled. "Just ... girl stuff."
"Tampons," Blake blurted.
My jaw dropped. Dad's eyes went wide. "Well, that's ... very ... uh ... " He backed a few steps. Glanced over his shoulder. "I'll just ... um ... Gemma!" And he was sprinting toward the building.
"Blake!" we all snapped.
"Sorry, I panicked."
"Aurora," Ayden said. "You'd better - before your mom - "
"Yep." I raced down the steps. "Dad, he was kidding! — A&E Kirk

Colin did not laugh. Instead he thought, Tampons have strings? Why? Of all the major human mysteries - God, the nature of the universe, etc. - he knew the least about tampons. To Colin, tampons were a little bit like grizzly bears: he was aware of their existence, but he'd never seen on in the wild, and didn't really care to. — John Green

What does this tell us about sharks? Should women be worried? Hard to say. How crazy are sharks for seal meat? Do dead groupers smell like used tampons? Unknown. I'd stay in my deck chair, if I were menstruating you. — Mary Roach

In 1986, Gloria Steinem wrote that if men got periods, they 'would brag about how long and how much': that boys would talk about their menstruation as the beginning of their manhood, that there would be 'gifts, religious ceremonies' and sanitary supplies would be 'federally funded and free'. I could live without the menstrual bragging - though mine is particularly impressive - and ceremonial parties, but seriously: Why aren't tampons free? — Jessica Valenti

If they wanted to slap my photo onto cereal boxes? Perfect. Leotards? Makes sense. Tampons? Sure, I'd go with the flow. (Ha.) — R.S. Grey

Only guys that are insecure in their manhood are afraid of tampons. They're just weird little cotton things. It's not like they're going to eat you. — Micalea Smeltzer

FACT 211: The chronic stress of a high-pressure job has been shown to double the risk of a heart attack. Chronic stress may also result in alcoholism, hypertension, and severe depression, and can make your joints ache, your hair fall out, and even stop your period.

So that bald drunk lady at work who's always crying and giving away her tampons? Give her a break; she's under a lot of stress. — Cary McNeal

Amber, you could never embarrass me."
"Never?" she asked.
"Never."
"One time, I yelled across the store to Mom and asked her if she wanted the regular or the super-absorbent tampons. I added that, according to the box, the super-absorbent were for those heavy days. Then I asked her to rate her heaviness on a scale of one to ten."
"Okay, you could."
"Then while we were standing in line, I asked her why she was buying three boxes of Summer's Eve in the middle of winter."
I set her at arm's length. "Wow."
"I know, right? I had no idea a person could turn so red. — Darynda Jones

Fancourt can't write women,' said Nina dismissively. 'He tries but he can't do it. His women are all temper, tits and tampons. — Robert Galbraith

Money. Just money. She knew that wasn't true. It was never about the money with him - it was about the work. It was about coming up with the perfect idea, the most elegant solution. Her dad didn't really care what he was selling. Tampons or tractors or dog food for people. He just wanted to find the perfect puzzle-piece idea that would be beautiful and right. — Rainbow Rowell

This was awkward to infinity. Alex living here would change my entire routine. I was sharing a bathroom with my boyfriend. How scary was that? I had tampons and pads and everything in there. He was going to be naked in the shower on the other side of my bedroom wall. And I was going to be naked in the shower with him in my house. — S.M. Stevens

The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay. — Frank Zappa

Thanks to you, my brother is eating tampons. — Adrienne Wilder

Why are all gay men understanding and compassionate?"
"Pfft." I arced an eyebrow at her. "They're not, trust me. Its a myth."
"A straight man wouldn't understand cramps, mood swings, backaches, not to mention the price of tampons ... — Zathyn Priest

And b-t-w, if anyone asks you what's in the box, I'd say 'feminine supplies.'"
The box was large and heavy, and there was a distinct clanging sound as I carried it. "As in tampons?"
"Keely's not going to ask questions. Ali's busy with the twins, and everyone else around here is male. Tampons scare the bejeezus out of them, my dad included, but if the person who asks is a Were, they'd smell a lie. Hence, feminine supplies."
"Because we're females, and they're our supplies?" I guessed.
"No. Because weapons are feminine." Lake gave me an insulted look. "Why do you think I named my gun Matilda? — Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Over a quarter of a century ago she and Vernon had made a household for almost a year, in a tiny rooftop flat on the rue de Seine. There were always damp towels on the floor then, and cataracts of her underwear tumbling from drawers she never closed, a big ironing board that was never folded away, and in the one overfilled wardrobe dresses , crushed and shouldering sideways like commuters on the metro. Magazines, makeup, bank statements, bead necklaces, flowers, knickers, ashtrays, invitations, tampons, LPs, airplane tickets, high heeled shoes- not a single surface was left uncovered by something of Molly's, so that when Vernon was meant to be working at home, he took to writing in a cafe along the street. And yet each morning she arose fresh from the shell of this girly squalor, like a Botticelli Venus, to present herself, not naked, of course, but sleekly groomed, at the offices of Paris Vogue. — Ian McEwan

But that quickly faded, and he frowned. "You're bleeding," he said. "What happened?"
Claire sighed and held up her wrist to show him the bandage. "Man, you would be so embarrassed if I said it was something else." Michael looked blank. "I'm a girl, Michael, it could have been all natural, you know. Tampons? — Rachel Caine

So, basically, I'm risking my life because you pansies don't want to pick up tampons. — Rhiannon Frater

I'm trying to picture you growing up with sisters."
"I can do a double French braid in less than three minutes and I've bought more tampons than a thirty-one-year-old man should ever admit to. — Avery Flynn

I turned around to see Jim standing in the aisle with a smirk and a box of tampons in his hand.
Very funny asshole. Looks like you're on the rag this week. Make sure to get yourself some Midol and a copy of Terms of Endearment so you can have yourself a good cry. — Tara Sivec

All we demand are the same rights as men, and slightly more stalls per restroom. And tampon machines. And those little things in the stalls so we can put our used tampons in them. And, okay, just go ahead and make the bathrooms out of tampons. — Susan B. Anthony

Now let's go into this pharmacy and get you some god-damn tampons. My treat! — Shelly Laurenston

Women get consumed. Not surprising, considering the sheer amount of traffic a woman's body experiences. Tampons and speculums. Cocks, fingers, vibrators and more, between the legs, from behind, in the mouth. — Gillian Flynn

Women's clutches are too small. I open my purse, and with some hydraulic force, a tampon shoots 12 feet into the air. — Kelly Ripa

If men could menstruate ... clearly, menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event: Men would brag about how long and how much.... Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of such commercial brands as Paul Newman Tampons, Muhammed Ali's Rope-a-Dope Pads, John Wayne Maxi Pads, and Joe Namath Jock Shields - "For Those Light Bachelor Days." Gloria Steinem — Sawyer King

Fame is also a test of character at times ... Sometimes I pass the test; sometimes I'm a pain in the ass. Sometimes I'm like, Oh, God! I just want to buy some tampons! — Meg Ryan

To Colin, tampons were a little bit like grizzly bears; he was aware of their existence, but he 'd never seen one in the wild, and didn't really care to. — John Green

I'd go back, yeah. I don't care, I got a kid, man - I'll sell tampons. I mean, there's no selling-out once you get a kid. I got a kid. — Jay Mohr

She needs tampons. Evidently it helps with this process. We have to secure the location of where they are being sold, acquire them and then get them back to my mate posthaste. — Alanea Alder

I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!" — Jimmy Carr

I was born an emotional tampon in a cauldron of dysfunction. — Dana Gould

Hoping to soothe her, Joe said, "Whatever it is I'll get it. Just tell me."
"Tampons."
Joe stalled. Tampons. But she was only ... well, fourteen. He had no idea when young ladies needed such things. He said, "Uh ... '
"I know," she all but wailed. "I'm sorry. But there aren't any here, and you're already there."
"Yeah, of course." He glanced at Austin. "No problem at all, hon." He swallowed. "Any particular kind?"
...
Hell, he could kick ass on felons, play bodyguard and bounty hunter, so surely he could buy a stupid box of tampons. — Lori Foster

Do you want to tell me what happened? Why were those bikers chasing you?" Jessica's gaze bounced between us.

"They were upset I switched their tampons with Depends." Cletus sounded so serious and reasonable, I almost believed him. And I'd been there. — Penny Reid

Tampons. I'm constantly worrying about my stash and if I'll be able to find more. — Rick Yancey

The organic produce guy, a young man who'd left Brooklyn in order to minimize his carbon footprint and consume only things he could make or grow himself. This had come to involve ... going toilet-paper free the year before, and making his wife use discarded athletic socks for her monthly cycle.'That poor girl!' said Sylvie, privately resolving to figure out where the young woman was living and anonymously deliver some tampons, the really bad kind, with non biodegradable plastic applicators. — Jennifer Weiner

Ouch," he said.
"Move your foot."
"No."
"Go away."
"Glad to see you, too."
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"You missed the bus," he said.
"I'm sick."
"Need chicken soup?"
"Actually, it's my period," I lied. "Killer cramps."
"Chocolate and a heating pad?"
"How do you know that?"
"I have an older sister and my mom is a kick-ass feminist," he said. "I'm probably the only guy in school who can buy tampons without having a seizure. Look, at that, I can even say the word. 'Tampon, tampon, tampon.' If you say it enough, it stops sounding like a word, know what I mean? — Laurie Halse Anderson

She just asked me to pick her up some tampons and a Yoo-Hoo." ~Alex Sinclair — Jenny B. Jones

Take your f***ing tampon out and tell me what you have to say. — Rahm Emanuel

Since it happens every month I don't think she'll die from blood loss. What's the mission?" Darian asked. "She needs tampons. Evidently it helps with this process. We have to secure the location of where they are being sold, acquire them and then get them back to my mate post haste." "You can rely on us Aiden. — Alanea Alder

The interior was dim like a cave. The ceiling, pressed tin, was stalactited with hooks from the days when the shopkeeper would hang it with buckets, watering cans, coils of rope and paired boots. Refrigerator cases lined a side wall, shallow crates of withered fruit and vegetables the back, and in the vast middle ground were aisles of rickety shelving, stacked with anything from tinned peaches to tampons. The sole cash register was adjacent to the entrance, next to ranks of daily newspapers and weekly and monthly magazines and a little bookcase thumbtacked with a sign, Library. If you were a farmer in need of an axe or some some sheep dip you headed for the far back corner. If you wanted to buy a stamp, you headed a couple of paces past the library. — Garry Disher

Even Solon Gregg was finding it hard to speak to a woman who had just paid hard cash for tampons and on her face wore the look of a woman who meant to use them, as advertised. — Lewis Nordan

In this trunk," she says with a serious face, "is God's gift to women."
"Chocolate?"
"No."
"Midol?"
"What? No."
"Tampons?"
"Stop guessing," she says. — Victoria Scott

I squirmed uncomfortable at the thought of the spokes-girl for Time of Your Life teen tampons suggesting more blood in advertising. — Rae Mariz

Can you think of anything that you might need?" I looked back over my shoulder at him. I was about to cross a boundary no woman ever wanted to cross. "There is, but I just can't ask you." His smile was patient. "Try me." "Tampons." He burst out laughing. — Tracy Brogan

Why was he opening the doors to my vanity? I kept my tampons down there! He could see them! They were right at the front for easy accessibility! — Kristen Ashley

My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off. My vagina's furious and it needs to talk. It needs to talk about all
this shit. It needs to talk to you. I mean what's the deal - an army of people out there thinking up ways to
torture my poor-ass, gentle, loving vagina. Spending their days constructing psycho products, and nasty
ideas to undermine my pussy. Vagina Motherfuckers.
All this shit they're constantly trying to shove up us, clean us up - stuff us up, make it go away. Well, my
vagina's not going away. It's pissed off and it's staying right here. Like tampons - what the hell is that? — Eve Ensler