Stroud Quotes & Sayings

I - though forced through lack of space to assume the form of a stoic guinea pig crouched between the girl's shoe and the glove compartment - was my usual dignified self. — Jonathan Stroud

Most traditional ghost stories feature rather hapless protagonists, who have nasty things happen to them. — Jonathan Stroud

He was transfixed at the sight of the lords and ladies of his realm running about like demented chickens. — Jonathan Stroud

Because you're unique . You shine like a beacon, attracting the attention of all dark things." It chuckled. "Why do you think I'm chatting with you? — Jonathan Stroud

John Mandrake was an attractive young man, and the scent of power hung about him, sweet and intoxicating, like honeysuckle in the evening air. — Jonathan Stroud

He looked like a kid caught making an angel in the snow, except his glasses had been blown off and one of his hands was bleeding. He breathed heavily; his belly rose and fell.
I knelt close. 'George?'
A groan, a cough. 'It's too late. Leave me ... Let me sleep ... '
I shook him firmly, slapped the side of his face. 'George, you've got to wake up! George, *please.* Are you okay?'
An eye opened. 'Ow. That cheek was the one part of me that *wasn't* sore.'
'Here, look - your glasses.' I scooped them out of the ash, put them on his chest. — Jonathan Stroud

In recent weeks it has come to my attention that many caravans have met with disaster; they have not gotten through."
I grunted wisely. "Probably ran out of water. That's the thing about deserts. Dry."
"Indeed. A fascinating analysis. But survivors reaching Hebron report differently: monsters fell upon them in the wastes."
"What, fell upon them in a squashed-them kind of way?"
"More the leaped-out-and-slew-them kind. ( ... ) — Jonathan Stroud

Zealots: Wild eyed persons afflicted with incurable certainty about the workings of the world, a certainty that can lead to violence when the world doesn't fit. — Jonathan Stroud

It's the same with spirit guises; show me a sweet little choirboy or a smiling mother and I'll show you the hideous fanged strigoi it really is. (Not always. Just sometimes. *Your* mother is absolutely fine, for instance. Probably.) — Jonathan Stroud

The important thing about any book is that you have to have a good story and that it has to be exciting. Then it's nice to add other levels underneath that people can pick up on. — Jonathan Stroud

They were hot, itchy, and hard to see out of, plus the wool covered our mouths and made it difficult to speak. Aside from that, it was a joy to wear them. — Jonathan Stroud

Believe me, I know all about bottle acoustics. I spent much of the sixth century in an old sesame oil jar, corked with wax, bobbing about in the Red Sea. No one heard my hollers. In the end an old fisherman set me free, by which time I was desperate enough to grant him several wishes. I erupted in the form of a smoking giant, did a few lightning bolts, and bent to ask him his desire. Poor old boy had dropped dead of a heart attack. There should be a moral there, but for the life of me I can't see one. — Jonathan Stroud

That's just it. I'm the first. And if my venture goes well, and I return to record it, many others will follow after me. There will be a new era between djinn and men. I've made some of the notes already, Rekhyt-my book will take pride of place in every library on the Earth. I won't be there to see it-but who knows, perhaps you will. — Jonathan Stroud

What is a gathering without unseemly drunkenness? — Jonathan Stroud

Oh, the boots were on the other eight feet now. — Jonathan Stroud

Wrong again. I'll tell you, shall I?" The djinni fixed him with its black-eyed stare. "You knocked yourself out, like the idiot you are. The golem was approaching, doubtless planning to take the Staff and crush your head like a melon. It was foiled - "
"By your prompt action?" Nathaniel said. "If so, I'm grateful, Bartimaeus."
"Me? Save you? Please - someone I know might be listening. No. My magic is canceled out by the golem's, remember? I sat back to watch the show. In fact ... it was the girl and her friend. They saved you. Wait - don't mock! I do not lie. The boy distracted it while the girl climbed on the golem's back, tore the manuscript from its mouth, and threw it to the ground. Even as she did so, the golem seized her and the boy - incinerated them in seconds. Then its life force ebbed and it finally froze, inches from your sorry neck. — Jonathan Stroud

She's her?' - Lucy
'Exactly. Penelope Fittes is Marissa Fittes. They're one and the same person.' - The Skull — Jonathan Stroud

That did it. I'd gone through a lot in the past few days. Everyone I met seemed to want a piece of me: djinn, magicians, humans ... it made no difference.I'd been summoned, manhandled, shot at, captured, constricted, bossed about and generally taken for granted. And now, to cap it all, this bloke is joining in too, when all I'd been doing was quietly trying to kill him. — Jonathan Stroud

He turned to face her, his body tingling. She gave a little shudder.
"Did you feel that too?" she asked.
"Yes," he said softly, "but don't talk."
She pushed him away. "It was our sensor webs, you fool. Something's triggered them. — Jonathan Stroud

What was it that drew you back? My marvellous personality, I suppose? Or my sparkling conversation? — Jonathan Stroud

Literature offers the thrill of minds of great clarity wrestling with the endless problems and delights of being human. To engage with them is to engage with oneself, and the lasting rewards are not confined to specific career paths. — Jonathan Stroud

Well, I make that one murder victim, one police interrogation and one conversation with a ghost," George said. "Now that's what I call a busy evening."
Lockwood nodded. "To think some people just watch television. — Jonathan Stroud

Never touch a mummified body part if you don't know where it's been. That's my motto." [- Lockwood]

"Holds true with unmummified ones too," George said. "That's the motto I live by. — Jonathan Stroud

George,' I croaked, 'are you okay?'
'No. Someone's buttocks are flattening my foot.'
I shifted my position irritably. — Jonathan Stroud

I read a bit of the Icelandic sagas. They're fascinating in that they are completely ordinary. The farmer will go off into the hills and fight a troll, and then go back and do ordinary things. It's an odd mix of fantasy and reality. — Jonathan Stroud

And then, as if written by the hand of a bad novelist, an incredible thing happened. — Jonathan Stroud

As a child I was really into fantasy books with elves and goblins and swords, and I went through a phase for a few years when I was reading endless series. But in the end I became totally fed-up with all these sub-Tolkien rip-offs because they all end up doing the same old things and there's no rigour to it. — Jonathan Stroud

What have they done to your poor arm?' - Holly
'Oh, don't worry, it's just a graze.' - Lucy
'I'm talking about the bandages. That's simply the most incompetent bit of first aid I've ever seen. Lockwood, George - how much dressing did you use? — Jonathan Stroud

Has anyone got any bandages? I've just split my sides laughing. — Jonathan Stroud

You're gonna have to explain all this shit to me, Frank. You don't just tell a guy he's dead and get him to throw a stiff into the river for you and then we fuck off for donuts. — Carsten Stroud

I go to farmers' markets all the time. Field-to-table is so my thing. But none of the herbs at any of them comes close to island herbs. Those herbs make Quinnie food- well, those herbs and freshness. Quinnipeague was growing organic and cooking local before farm-to-table was a movement, but, still, we think of the herbs first. I can't write about island cooking without talking about them, but I can't not talk about the people, either. That's where you come in, Charlotte. You've eaten Dorey Jewett's lobster stew and Mary Landry's clam fritters, and you always loved the fruit compote that Bonnie Stroud brought to the Fourth of July dinner each year. These people are all still around. Each has a story. I want to include some in the book, but I'm better at writing about food than people. — Barbara Delinsky

Dark Specter** - A frightening variety of Type Two ghost that manifests as a moving patch of darkness. Sometimes the apparition at the center of the darkness is dimly visible; at other times the black cloud is fluid and formless, perhaps shrinking to the size of a pulsing heart, or expanding at speed to engulf a room. — Jonathan Stroud

The mole dug its way deep, deep down, under the foundations of the wall. No magical alarm sounded, though I did hit my head five times on a pebble.
Once each on five different pebbles. Not the same pebble five times. Just want to make that clear. Sometimes you human beings are so dense. — Jonathan Stroud

The bristling eyebrows shot up in mock surprise. Mesmerized, the boy watched them disappear under the hanging thatch of white hair. There, almost coyly, they remained just out of sight for a moment, before suddenly descending with a terrible finality and weight. — Jonathan Stroud

Freedom is an illusion. It always comes at a price. — Jonathan Stroud

What can I say to you today, what I have to say to you is that we need a new sense of urgency about the issue of social justice in this country. — Joe Stroud

When I was young, I kept a diary for about 10 years and I had to write in it every day. Even on days when nothing seemed to happen, I made myself think of something to put in it. — Jonathan Stroud

So special is God's love that love does not love those who are worthy of it but rather those who have special need of it. — Dean G. Stroud

Besides, if you're going to die horribly, you might as well do it with style. — Jonathan Stroud

Hey, we've all got problems, chum. I'm overly talkative. You look like a field of buttercups in a suit. — Jonathan Stroud

although Hitler peppered speeches with references to God, neither he nor Nazism had a single thing in common with traditional Christianity. Nazi religion was pagan, containing a pagan savior and creed. The creed knew nothing of sin, and its faith glorified violence. Nazism had no meekness or humility, no love of neighbor, and no thought of forgiveness. — Dean G. Stroud

His name was Mr. Quan and he was the concierge, which explained the black suit and the lavender shirt but not the oversized bow tie in chrome-yellow silk. Perhaps nothing could. — Carsten Stroud

Our eyes adjusted; we gazed at what was in the room. And then I felt the floor pitch under me, as if we were suddenly at sea. George cleared his throat. I put out my hand to clench his arm.
Lockwood stood slightly behind us, waiting.
"Your parents?" I was the first to find my voice.
"Close," Anthony Lockwood said. "My sister. — Jonathan Stroud

Did Lovelace's forces find you? Did Jabor break in?"
He spoke slowly through clenched teeth. "I went to get a newspaper"
This is getting better and better! I shook my head regretfully. "You should leave such a dangerous assignment to people better qualified: next time ask an old granny, or a toddler- — Jonathan Stroud

At last! Am I glad to see you! Right, stab this guy quickly, and let's be going. — Jonathan Stroud

I do believe most curators - maybe I'm only speaking for myself here - want to be artists on some level. Curators must have an innate interest in what an artist makes. And they certainly have their opinions and criticisms, and the always ask, How would I have made this, or how would another artist make this? — Marion Boulton Stroud

As an author, you need to keep talking to your audience to remind yourself what they like and what they don't like. You spend most of your life locked in a room, and you need to be social occasionally. — Jonathan Stroud

Always tell yourself that you are as good as anyone that breathes; that you have two hands and a brain, and a little time in which to use them. But they are enough, and no one has any more. And if you train and force them to serve you well, you can reach any height to which you aspire. But to waste any of them is to betray yourself. — Robert M. Stroud

When I write something that would have made me laugh as a 10-year-old, or would have scared me or would have excited me, I know I'm onto something. — Jonathan Stroud

I rather think he knew anyway. — Jonathan Stroud

I warn you," the boy went on. "I am a magician of great power. I control many terrifying entities. This being you see before you" - here I rolled my shoulders back and puffed my chest up menacingly - "is but the meanest and least impressive of my slaves." (Here I slumped my shoulders and stuck my stomach out.) — Jonathan Stroud

While many at the time found themselves in conflict over their loyalty as Germans and their identity as Christians, Lackmann insisted that for Christians there was no conflict; they must side with Christ and against the Nazi state. — Dean G. Stroud

Nothing could keep me from you. Nothing in life or Death... — Jonathan Stroud

You think so?" The boy looked down at his cross-legged form. He was sitting straight-backed, legs folded neatly in the manner of an Egyptian scribe. "It's two thousand, one hundred and twenty-nine years since Ptolemy died," he said. "He was fourteen. Eight world empires have risen up and fallen away since that day, and I still carry his face. Who do you think's the lucky one? — Jonathan Stroud

Courage is the facing of a challenge with a healthy fear, not being fearless. — Les Stroud

If she'd repeatedly fallen over while crossing soft ground, you could have sewn a crop of beans in the chin-holes she left behind. — Jonathan Stroud

I had a big fight in my first week in secondary school. There was a kid in the year above who was nasty to me, and we ended up having a scrap. I can remember thinking that there was going to be some serious bloodshed if we didn't stop, so I made a decision to walk away. It was a difficult thing to do, but the most sensible. — Jonathan Stroud

One magician demanded I show him an image of the love of his life. I rustled up a mirror. — Jonathan Stroud

According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking. — Jonathan Stroud

All you need is a [insert plant], some [insert stick / rock / animal feces], and a good multitool. — Les Stroud

I am Bartimaeus! I am Sakhr al-Jinni, N'gorso the Mighty, and the Serpent of Silver Plumes! I have rebuilt the walls of Uruk, Karnak, and Prague. I have spoken with Solomon. I have run with the buffalo fathers of the plains. I have watched over Old Zimbabwe till the stones fell and the jackals fed on its people. I am Bartimaeus! — Jonathan Stroud

There's no room for bravado when you're alone in the bush. — Les Stroud

Making tea is a ritual that stops the world from falling in on you. — Jonathan Stroud

Hey, it was his first time. I wanted to scare him — Jonathan Stroud

He could feel himself gliding down like the sail of a weightless craft, forever plunging into the great beyond below where mermaids sing and summon their lovers home, further down into the depths of some complacent serenity, further down where thoughts float away and never return and the lightness is so grand that there is no other worldly place imaginable, for there is no world left to be
considered. There is only the soul, free from the prison of the body, and it is released to travel
another millennium through time, carrying with it the progress and industry gathered from the
mind previously occupied. — Matthew Chase Stroud

She was so radiant, it was like the other-light was already on her. — Jonathan Stroud

Really?"
"No. I'm being ironic. Or is it sarcastic? I can never remember."
"Irony's cleverer, so you're probably being sarcastic. — Jonathan Stroud

More ghosts have been created in bedrooms than anywhere else. — Jonathan Stroud

When I set out from the boy's attic window, my head was so full of competing plans and complex stratagems that I didn't look where I was going and flew straight into a chimney.
Something symbolic in that. It's what fake freedom does for you. — Jonathan Stroud

It was one of those moments when a great Don't Care wave hits you, and you float off on it, head back, looking at the sky. — Jonathan Stroud

But certainly the two best-known tales in the neighborhood - the key hauntings, if you will - concern the Red Room and the Screaming Staircase.'
There was a profound silence, abruptly broken by an enormously loud rumble from George's stomach. Plaster didn't actually fall from the ceiling, but it was close.
'Sorry,' he said cheerfully. 'Famished. I think Ill have another doughnut, if you don't mind. Any takers? — Jonathan Stroud

It was Nathaniel's boundless capacity for stating the obvious that made him so charmingly human. — Jonathan Stroud

I like using traditional beliefs in my fantasies, even though I always end up warping them to suit my purpose: it somehow makes everything feel more 'solid' if it's got a long history behind it. — Jonathan Stroud

When you go out hunting wicked spirits, it's the simple things that matter most. The silvered point of your rapier flashing in the dark; the iron filings scattered on the floor; the sealed canisters of best Greek Fire, ready as a last resort ...
But tea bags, brown and fresh and plenty of them, and made (for preference) by Pitkin Brothers of Bond Street, are perhaps the simplest and best of all.
OK, they may not save your life like a sword-tip or an iron circle can, and they haven't the protective power of a sudden wall of fire. But they do provide something just as vital. They help keep you sane. — Jonathan Stroud

Long ago I dreamed of being a hero in your company" Halli said Huskily "I'm sorry to say your reality disappoints me — Jonathan Stroud

Her clarity gave her purpose and her purpose gave her clarity. — Jonathan Stroud

Back at the scene of the rollover they had brought in the dogs, who got one snootful of all the guts and gore scattered all over the place and, after a whispered conference, expressed their regrets and respectfully declined to participate. — Carsten Stroud

Strange how close the darkness is, even when things seem brightest. Even in the glare of a summer noon, when the sidewalk bakes and iron fences are hot to the touch, the shadows are still with us. They congregate in doorways and porches, and under bridges, and beneath the brims of gentlemen's hats so you cannot see their eyes. There is darkness in our mouths and ears; in our bags and wallets; within the swing of men's jackets and beneath the flare of women's skirts. We carry it around with us, the dark, and its influence stains us deep. — Jonathan Stroud

Getting that first draft out is a horribly hard grind, but that (perversely) is where the joy of it lies. — Jonathan Stroud

Is it just me,' Kipps said, 'or does that boy need punching?'
'It's not just you. — Jonathan Stroud

A typical master. Right to the end, he didn't give me a chance to get a word in edgeways. Which is a pity, because at that last moment I'd have liked to tell him what I thought of him. Mind you, since in that split second we were, to all intents and purposes, one and the same, I rather think he knew anyway. — Jonathan Stroud

cannon used. The night of the grand festivity — Jonathan Stroud

Me, I was still in the pygmy hippo in a skirt, singing lusty songs about Solomon's private life and a giant stone back and forth through the air as I climbed out of the quarry at the edge of the site. — Jonathan Stroud

Ah, you coward! Look at you, running." "Actually, it's called improvising. — Jonathan Stroud

Well, when you're being held at gunpoint by a geriatric madman in a metal skirt, you've kind of hit rock bottom anyway. It can't really get much worse. — Jonathan Stroud

Watch where you leave your victims! I stubbed my toe on that. — Jonathan Stroud

Nathaniel's trying to get hold of it right now.
All very well, but could he use - Wait a minute! The radiant features of the boy contorted, slipped out of true, as if the condoling intelligence had drawn back in shock; an instant later they were as perfect as before. Let's get this straight. He told you his name?
Yes. Now
I like that ... I like that! He's been giving me gyp for years, simply because I could have spilled the beans, and now he's telling any old broad he meets, free of charge! Who else knows? Faquarl? Nouda? Did he deck his name out in neon lights and parade it round the town? I ask you! And I never told anyone!
You let it slip last time I summoned you.
Well, apart from that.
But you could have told his enemies, couldn't you, Bartimaeus? You'd have found a way to harm him if you'd really wished it. And Nathaniel knows that too, I think. I had a talk with him. — Jonathan Stroud

Of the first few hauntings I investigated with Lockwood & Co. I intend to say little, in part to protect the identity of the victims, in part because of the gruesome nature of the incidents, but mainly because, in a variety of ingenious ways, we succeeded in messing them all up. — Jonathan Stroud

We grow up being told about great figures in our society, and as you get older you have to question the stories you've been told and decide if these great figures are indeed as great as you've been told. — Jonathan Stroud

In this belief system Nazism had replaced hallmarks of Christianity with the qualities of a good Nazi: strength rather than weakness; domination rather than humility; hatred rather than love; dependence on Hitler rather than dependence on Christ, not to mention the importance of blood, race, and soil rather than the sacraments, and a sense of eternity. — Dean G. Stroud

If anyone else asked that question, O He Who Is Terrible and Great, I would have said they were an ignorant fool; in you it is a sign of the disarming simplicity which is the fount of all virtue. — Jonathan Stroud

Hippo in a skirt: this was a comic reference to one of Solomon's principal wives, the one from Moab. Childish? Yes. But in the days before printing we had limited opportunities for satire. — Jonathan Stroud

Listen," I began, "this is an established,traditional form that-"
"Traditional nothing.Where are your clothes?"
"Clothes?" I said weakly. "I don't normally bother with them in this guise."
"Well,you could put on a pair of shorts,at least.Your not decent."
"I'm not sure they'd go with the wings ... " The demon frowend,and blinked."Hold on,enough of this."
"Lenderhosen would. They'd compliment the leather. — Jonathan Stroud

There - the chandelier, choked with dust and webs. A single rivulet of red had trickled from the ceiling, down the central column, and out along a curving crystal arm. At its lowest point, a new pendant of blood was slowly building.
'It - it can't do that,' I stammered. 'We're inside the iron.'
'Move out of the way!' Lockwood pushed me back just as the drop fell, spattering on the floor in the center of the circle. We were all standing almost atop the iron chains. 'We've made it too big,' he said. 'The power of the iron doesn't extend into the very center. It's weak there, and this Visitor's strong enough to overcome it.'
'Adjust the chains inward-' George began.
'If we make the circle smaller,' Lockwood said, 'we'll be squeezed in a tiny space. It's scarcely midnight; we've seven hours till dawn and this thing's just gotten started. No, we've got to break out — Jonathan Stroud

But Holly the gun-toting, wild-haired madwoman of the night before was in there somewhere, I knew. It made me look upon her with fond affection. — Jonathan Stroud

I see things . . . beautiful things . . . — Jonathan Stroud

Listen, a goad's anything that provokes or incites an enemy
let me have a go: cursed deamon! you have met your end! the shivering fire awaits you! i shall spread your vile essance across this hall like ... um, like margarine, a very think layer of it ...
ye-es ... im not sure he'll pick up on that analogy. never mind, keep going. — Jonathan Stroud

Money might be the root of all evil, but two million in stolen cash was mainly a hernia risk. — Carsten Stroud

Water, running - It was observed in ancient times that ghosts dislike crossing running water. In modern Britain this knowledge is sometimes used against them. In central London a net of artificial channels, or runnels, protects the main shopping district. On a smaller scale, some house-owners build open channels outside their front doors and divert the rainwater along them. — Jonathan Stroud

If we think only of the great needs, then we are less likely to notice the individual small needs requiring our help. And all the great needs grow really out of little ones, or better, from the fact that in our blindness we in the beginning failed to see the little needs. — Dean G. Stroud