Dave Chappelle Quotes & Sayings

Fame for me is like a place, a country I'm taking a tour through. — Dave Chappelle

Because I was surrounded by so much negativity at some point that it took me going back and doing stand-up to realize, you know, people really like me. — Dave Chappelle

My own life is accessible to people still. I could see a guy walking down the street and, even though I'm famous, I got more in common with this guy than, like, Brad Pitt. — Dave Chappelle

Being famous is great, it's not like bad or horrible or anything. — Dave Chappelle

My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else. — Dave Chappelle

I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it. — Dave Chappelle

If I put forth a legitimate effort, then I feel like, if that doesn't work out, that's all I can do. — Dave Chappelle

Whether it means having a show, or a movie, or just being on a stage, I need an avenue to say what I have to say. — Dave Chappelle

I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress. — Dave Chappelle

Most of the people around me have a vested interest in how much money I make. You know, so a celebrity could find themselves in a position where people could have meetings about their life without them involved. And when I say 'their life' I mean not their professional life either. They could talk about their personal life. — Dave Chappelle

I don't care if I ever work in TV again. — Dave Chappelle

The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me. — Dave Chappelle

I don't really frick with Africa cause people are starving to death and that's not ballin' to me. — Dave Chappelle

The language you are about to hear ... is disturbing. — Dave Chappelle

My father told me 'Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.' — Dave Chappelle

I'm an introspective dude. — Dave Chappelle

New white people, you can't scare these white people, I tried. — Dave Chappelle

Money is the fuel for choices. Money gives me choices, so it's not nothing, it's something," he continued. "But it's not the end all, be all. There are other things in my life that I did not purchase with money that are very valuable. — Dave Chappelle

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it. — Dave Chappelle

Lady, I'm just a nigga that loves titties. — Dave Chappelle

I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you're a guy who generates money, people have a vested interested in controlling you. — Dave Chappelle

Constantly take inventory of what's important to you. — Dave Chappelle

Everyone around me says, You're a genius! You're great! That's your voice! But I'm not sure if they're right. — Dave Chappelle

No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack. — Dave Chappelle

The world can't tell you who you are. You've just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse. — Dave Chappelle

Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they'd never believe i lived in it. They'd be like 'He's still here! — Dave Chappelle

America, I appreciate you liking me. — Dave Chappelle

I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that. — Dave Chappelle

If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher. — Dave Chappelle

I've done 10 or 11 pilots for network television, which is ridiculous. — Dave Chappelle

You can become famous but you can't become unfamous. You can become infamous but not unfamous. — Dave Chappelle

They do what they do for money - that's all. I don't even know why you're listening to me. I've done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can't even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is. — Dave Chappelle

Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks! — Dave Chappelle

I have angst in my life, but I'm like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives. — Dave Chappelle

Why is Dave Chappelle going to Africa? Why does Mariah Carey make a hundred-million dollar deal and take her clothes off on TRL? A weak person can not get here and talk to you. Ain't no weak people talking to you. So what is happening in Hollywood? Nobody knows! The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. I don't understand this person, so they're crazy. That's bullshit. These people are not crazy, they're strong people. Maybe the environment is a little sick. — Dave Chappelle

Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he's not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn't even say that. — Dave Chappelle

The biggest enemy of an artist is apathy ... A kid gets killed by the police and I buy a T-shirt and before I can wear that one, there's another kid (killed) and I'm running out of closet space. — Dave Chappelle

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it. — Dave Chappelle

I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes. — Dave Chappelle

I got real important relationships in my life that are very empowering relationships. — Dave Chappelle

All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high. — Dave Chappelle

You know, be able to do something great in your life, you're gonna have to realize your failures. You're gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it. — Dave Chappelle

There's something about doing stand-up that's cathartic. — Dave Chappelle

I don't normally talk about my religion publicly because I don't want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful if you learn it the right way. — Dave Chappelle

I don't do drugs, though. Just weed. — Dave Chappelle

I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave. — Dave Chappelle

My generation is under-entertained. — Dave Chappelle

Most people don't know what it's like to stand up there and speak their mind. I have a venue to do that. I get paid to do that. It's not like I'm doing heavy lifting up there. It's not like I'm solving the world's problems. It's like I'm hanging out with a bunch of people and it's cool. — Dave Chappelle

I've been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I've never really been a CEO. — Dave Chappelle

I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I'll walk away from show business. But I don't want to walk away empty-handed. — Dave Chappelle

What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P! — Dave Chappelle

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go. — Dave Chappelle

Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I'm seven years late for work. — Dave Chappelle

Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it. — Dave Chappelle

Comedy is a very approval-oriented field. — Dave Chappelle

I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear - I'm not mad at anybody - not anymore. — Dave Chappelle

I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down! — Dave Chappelle

I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image? — Dave Chappelle

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark. — Dave Chappelle

I got a lot of positive people around me. — Dave Chappelle

After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding. — Dave Chappelle

You've got to say 'yes' to your destiny. Life's happening right now, look around you. There goes some life. Come on, Mamma, live! — Dave Chappelle

Who goes from America to Africa for medical attention? — Dave Chappelle

I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas. — Dave Chappelle

Cause my life is dope, and I do dope sh*t — Dave Chappelle

I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds. — Dave Chappelle

My kids look actually happy. And I learned early on that perfectionism and parenthood is a toxic combination for everybody involved. In other words, so many things can flourish naturally. All you gotta do is make sure the soil's right. I view myself more like a guide than a ruler. — Dave Chappelle

I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing. — Dave Chappelle

If you're Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and your marriage is breaking up - that's an awful thing. But to see that speculation in people, it's gotta sting a little bit. — Dave Chappelle

If you don't have the right people around you and you're moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself. — Dave Chappelle

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching. — Dave Chappelle

What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant. — Dave Chappelle

People don't know what it's like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you. — Dave Chappelle

I don't want the money. I don't want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again. — Dave Chappelle

You got to be careful of the company you keep. — Dave Chappelle

The higher up I went, the less happy I was. — Dave Chappelle

Once you been performing on the streets you can conquer any venue. — Dave Chappelle

Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous. — Dave Chappelle

I want be a guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me. — Dave Chappelle

I'm rich biotchh! — Dave Chappelle

The girl says "Oh uh-uh, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!" Which is true, Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't even forget it. But ladies, you must understand that is fucking confusing. It just is. Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle, the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me saying, "Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!" "Oh-hoh! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a police officer!" See what I mean? All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform. — Dave Chappelle

If someone sits and stares at you while you eat, you won't even eat the way you normally do, because it'll make you so uncomfortable. If I look at my dog when he's eating, he will look at me like, "Dave, I will bite you. What are you looking at? I'm trying to eat." It's something that dehumanizes a person, being on display like that. — Dave Chappelle

There's a lot of people who don't want anything from me but to laugh and have a good time. You see them at the show and they like - they dress up to come see your show and stuff. And they pack these auditoriums and it's a lot of fun, man. It's like, this is how I started, and it's still fun for me. — Dave Chappelle

Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.' — Dave Chappelle

You know you must be doing something right if old people like you. — Dave Chappelle

When I'm on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that's the only time in my adult life I feel like myself. — Dave Chappelle

Stand-up is the kind of gig that'll show you where you're at. — Dave Chappelle

I'm happier in the way a guy gets happier when he starts to mature. It doesn't make things easier, but I'm so much better at handling them. — Dave Chappelle

You can't get unfamous. You can get infamous but you can't get unfamous. — Dave Chappelle

I just always loved stand-up. It's like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of people laughs together. Say something else, they laugh again. The fact that people come to see that and participate in that ... I don't know, it's just like magic. — Dave Chappelle

I love my jokes. — Dave Chappelle

I'm cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally. — Dave Chappelle

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed. — Dave Chappelle

I think one artist to another artist, the best compliment you can pay one another, because the part of you that is inspired or creates something, to write a joke or a song, that's like the God-like part of a person. — Dave Chappelle

Why don't you click your heels three times and go back to Africa. — Dave Chappelle

Hey,hey,hey. Smoke weed everyday — Dave Chappelle

Weed's not as bad as everything else ... 'cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain't crisp ... but you'll function. — Dave Chappelle

Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business. — Dave Chappelle

A celebrity, whatever I am, you get cut off sometimes from people just by circumstance. — Dave Chappelle

I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator. — Dave Chappelle