Steve Martin Funny Quotes & Sayings

You know, a lot of people come to me and they say, "Steve, how can you be so funny?" There's a secret to it, it's no big deal. Before I go out, I put a slice of bologna in each of my shoes. So when I'm on stage, I feel funny. — Steve Martin

Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing. — Steve Martin

It was so sweet backstage, you should have seen it: The Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo. — Steve Martin

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. — Steve Martin

Steve Martin is one of the most intelligent, well-read human beings that I've ever come across. He is equally as funny off screen as he is on. But he also has a very intellectual side, and he's a really nice human being. We actually become good friends. — Anthony LaPaglia

You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again. — Steve Martin

Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny. — Steve Martin

'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a really funny movie but it was also a delight to shoot. We were in the South of France, working with Glenne Headly and Michael Caine and Frank Oz the director - who were just fun. — Steve Martin

I always tell people that to be the funny person in a Steve Martin movie is like getting a call that Keith Moon wants you to play drums on his record. He should be playing drums on his record. — Jason Schwartzman

I was at a dinner party with a group of people, and we were talking about fake names. You know, how its difficult to come up with a really great fake name. Its a very specific type of gift. You don't want to go too far into the silly, and you don't want to go too far into the banal. I always thought one of the funniest names ever was Gern Blanston, which came from a Steve Martin routine on one of his early records. — Paul Rudd

It's funny that some ideas start with a little "What if?" and then suddenly you're spending a million dollars to shoot the scene and hoping that it works. — Steve Martin

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. — Steve Martin

But Carroll's were more convoluted, and they struck me as funny in a new way:
1) Babies are illogical.
2) Nobody is despised who can manage a crocodile.
3) Illogical persons are despised.
Therefore, babies cannot manage crocodiles.
And:
1) No interesting poems are unpopular among people of real taste.
2) No modern poetry is free from affectation.
3) All of your poems are on the subject of soap bubbles.
4) No affected poetry is popular among people of taste.
5) Only a modern poem would be on the subject of soap bubbles.
Therefore, all your poems are uninteresting. — Steve Martin

I knew I wanted to be in show business so I took the path of least resistance. I loved comedy. But you never know you are funny until people laugh. It's just what I was interested in. I could make people laugh, I guess, but doing it at school and doing it onstage are very different things. — Steve Martin

I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers. — Steve Martin

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time. — Steve Martin

There's a lot of very funny people I'd love to work with that I've never met, of course. I love Steve Martin and Jim Carrey. — Dick Van Dyke

I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers. — Steve Martin

I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers. — Steve Martin

Lots of women are getting involved. They're not satisfied just being passengers anymore. — Steve Martin

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes. — Steve Martin

I believe in eight of the ten commandments. I believe in going to church every Sunday ... unless there's a game on. — Steve Martin