Standupster Quotes & Sayings

I'm not a big fan of Robert Plant's lyrics or his singing. — Chris Robinson

[Happiness] comes when we choose to be who we are, to be ourselves, at this present moment in our lives. — Jean Vanier

Jesus, if you're going to push me around, you better be prepared to fuck me like you own me. — Belle Aurora

That is Obama's signature move: Invent people who are saying ridiculous things and then encourage the audience to laugh at these made-up buffoons. — Ann Coulter

It is highly interesting to our country, and it is the duty of its functionaries, to provide that every citizen in it should receive an education proportioned to the condition and pursuits of his life. — Thomas Jefferson

Fans of the 'Inbetweeners' like the show because it is about four normal people, average guys or lower than average losers. — Simon Bird

Sekhmet crawled onto Ramses's lap and began to purr. 'The creature oozes like a furry slug,' said Ramses, eyeing it without favor. — Elizabeth Peters

If you never fall in love with your character, you'll never be able to do that character justice. No matter who it is, no matter what the character does, you have to find the reason for it. Everyone's got a reason for what they do, even if it's a reason that they're not proud of. — Hugh Jackman

She was still staring at him, eyes wide, nostrils flaring. Honky — Stephen King

I want to just obey the Constitution.The Constitution says only gold and silver can be legal tender. — Ron Paul

It's the mind that sees, not eyes. — Toba Beta

Did you become a Christian in your nunnery?' I asked her.
'Of course not.' she said scornfully.
'They didn't mind?'
'I gave them silver.'
'Then they didn't mind.' I said.
'I don't think any Dane is a real Christian.' she told me.
'Not even your brother?'
'We have many gods,' she said, 'and the Christian god is just another one. I'm sure that's what Guthred thinks. What's the Christian god's name? A nun did tell me, but I've forgotten.'
'Jehovah.'
There you are, then. Odin, Thor and Jehovah. Does he have a wife?'
'No.'
'Poor Jehovah.' she said. — Bernard Cornwell

In politics, stupidity is not a handicap. — Napoleon Bonaparte

I'm a great believer in new technology and I think new technology is very scary for newspaper companies. — James Packer