Spork Quotes & Sayings

The biggest lie was that the world worked the way it was supposed to, and having seen through it, Matthew Spork was free. — Nick Harkaway

And so Charlie Asher ... led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Fransciso. — Christopher Moore

Would you like a nice cold fish head? They're frozen solid: frozen head of fish, the eyeballs in there and the skeleton's coming out. It comes with a turnip and a spork." "I was wishing you had one of them left; wishing upon a star. — Brian Regan

Jesus, Neal, watching you eat with a spork is like seeing Helen Keller at a ladies' afternoon tea. — Douglas Coupland

Joe Spork opens the door. The man departs. Joe turns to Polly to say something about how they're obviously not going to Portsmouth, and finds an oyster knife balanced on his cheek, just under his eye.

"Can we be very clear," Polly Cradle murmurs, "that I am not your booby sidekick or your Bond girl? That I am an independent supervillain in my own right?"

Joe swallows. "Yes, we can," he says carefully.

"There will therefore be no more 'Say hello, Polly'?"

"There will not. — Nick Harkaway

Here's a quick translation: spork = a spoon with added tines; splayd = a knife, fork, and spoon in one, consisting of a tined spoon with a sharpened edge; knork = a fork with the cutting power of a knife; spife = a spoon with a knife on the end (an example would be the plastic green kiwi spoons sold in kitchenware shops); sporf = an all-purpose term for any hybrid of spoon, fork, and knife. — Bee Wilson

The iPad falls between two stools - not quite a laptop, not quite a smartphone. In other words, it's the spork of the electronic consumer goods world. — Charlie Brooker

Finish that sentence and i will stab you in the eye with the spork Bethany's about to pull out of her bag for her apple sauce. And she'd be very upset if i got her sprk all messed up. she's rather fond of the thing. - Dawson — Jennifer L. Armentrout

Neal fished around in a bag, removed something and handed it to me. It was a forky thing, but with a round depression. "What the fuck is this?" "It's a spork. — Douglas Coupland

Whoever invented the spork should be killed. — Neal Shusterman

I appreciate it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some more moping to do. Tell Taylor I know he's the one who ate my maple donut, and if he does it again, I'm going to shank him with a spork. — Charlie Cochet

Fine, but why a spork?" "Because I'm versatile. I can multitask like nobody's business. And I like the way it sounds. It's so ... sporky. — Darynda Jones

Since I didn't have a spork handy, I leaned over the sink and scooped up a palmful of cold water and pressed it against my face. There had to be a better option than a violent sporking. There had to be a way to get rid of my dad. — Devon Monk

Good idea," Puck echoed from the back of the cave. "Why don't you take first watch, prince? You could actually be doing something that doesn't make me want to gouge my eyes out with a spork."
Ash's lips curled in a smirk. "I would think you're better suited to the task, Goodfellow," he said without turning around. "After all, that's what you're best at isn't it? Watching?"
"Oh, keep it up, ice-boy. You're gonna have to sleep sometime. — Julie Kagawa

I do not know, at this point, whether Joshua Joseph Spork is the man of my life. He could be. I have given it considerable thought. The jury is still out. The issue between you and me is that you wish to deprive me of the opportunity to find out. Joe Spork is not yours to give or to withhold from me, Mr. Cummerbund. He is mine, until I decide otherwise. You have caused him grief, sullied his name, and you have hurt him. If anyone is going to make him weep, or lie about him, or even do bad things to him, it is me. — Nick Harkaway

His grandfather was scathing about "speculative faith," which is the kind you get from worrying about the possibility that God exists and may be cross with you. Daniel Spork observed that God, if there is one, is well aware of the interior dialogue, and most likely unimpressed by it. Much better, he said, to get on with being the man you are, and hope like buggery that God thinks you did as well as could be expected. Hence all the lessons and strictures concealed in everyday objects. _Learn the shape of the world, know the mind of God._ — Nick Harkaway

I'm still not certain on the nature of the spork, whether it is a fork and a spoon, or a fork and a knife mixed together, or maybe a fork and a fork on top. Life is full of mysteries yeah man — Thom Yorke

Watch it, loincloth, I'm not afraid to spork your eyes out. — Magan Vernon

High School is like a spork: it's a crappy spoon and a crappy fork, so in the end it's just plain useless. — John Mayer