Spiderman Humor Quotes & Sayings

If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, "Dude, thanks for the hammock." — Mitch Hedberg

So that means that Peter ... " I swallowed. "That his full name was Peter Parker."
"Yeah"
I burst into tears. "Oh, my God! I killed Spiderman! — Michelle Rowen

Bruce Wayne's parents get killed and he goes to Tibet or whatever, and Superman is an alien, and Spiderman had that radioactive spider. Me? I kissed a janitor in the school bathroom. — Rachel Hawkins

The intruder hesitated, turned, and anchored itself in the corner, where the ceiling met the wall. It sat there, fastened to the paneling by enormous yellow talons, still and silent like a gargoyle in full sunlight. I took a swig from the bottle and set it so I could still see the creatures reflection. Nude and hairless, it didn't carry a single ounce of fat on its lean frame. Its skin stretched so tight over the cords of muscle, it threatened to snap. Like a thin layer of wax melted over an anatomy model.
Your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman. — Ilona Andrews

My Zora senses are tingling," I said.
Nathan looked at me blankly.
"Right, you don't know anything about Spiderman," I remembered.
"Spider who?" he asked. — Markelle Grabo

Spiderman: You're going to have to do something about those children, Stark.
Tony: What children?
Spiderman: The annoying, ill-mannered ones.
Tony: I need more.
Spiderman: Bomb Boy and Solar Flare.
Tony: I think you mean Cannonball and Sunspot. What did they do this time?
Spiderman: We were in the kitchen and they decided to - rather rudely - confront me about eating the leftovers in the refrigerator.
Tony: Was it your food?
Spiderman: No.
Tony: Was it theirs?
Spiderman: Possibly. It was an honest mistake. My point - I think THE point - is I won't be spoken to that way by infants.
Tony: Then don't eat their food. — Jonathan Hickman

Please don't be dead. Because then I'd have to be the Sorcerer Supreme and there's no way I could rock the 'stache. — Brian Michael Bendis

With great hotness comes great responsibility. — Alyxandra Harvey

No matter what argument you make against evolution, the response is Well, you know, it's possible to believe in evolution and believe in God. Yes, and it's possible to believe in Spiderman and believe in God, but that doesn't prove Spiderman is true. — Ann Coulter

Ah, man, when Wolverine grows his face back, he's really gonna be pretty upset. — Brian Michael Bendis