Sookie Stackhouse Quotes & Sayings

Your brother's car has been found," he told Jay Marriot. "It's on a little road almost directly across from Sookie's driveway." ... Eric had told me that that little road, a dirt track leading back to a deer camp, was where Debbie Pelt had hidden her car when she'd come to kill me. Might as well put up a sign: PARKING FOR SOOKIE STACKHOUSE NIGHTTIME ATTACKS. — Charlaine Harris

Oh. No wonder I'd been sick. I hadn't eaten anything since then. I'm a girl who likes her meals, so it hadn't been a weight-loss tactic. I'd just been too busy bumping from crisis to crisis. Go on the Sookie Stackhouse Narrow Avoidance of Death Diet! Run for your life, and miss meals, too! Exercise plus starvation. — Charlaine Harris

Better to be screwed physically than financially. — Charlaine Harris

Glass shattered, vampires roared, humans screamed. The noise battered at me, just as the tidal wave of scores of brains at high gear washed over me. When it began to taper off, I looked up into Eric's eyes. Incredibly, he was excited. He smiled at me. "I knew I'd get on top of you somehow," he said.
Are you trying to make me mad so I'll forget how scared I am?"
No, I'm just opportunistic."
I wiggled, trying to get out from under him, and he said, "Oh, do that again. It felt great. — Charlaine Harris

Once again, I had that feeling of drowning when I hadn't even known I was in the pool — Charlaine Harris

As I climbed up into the high old bed, the large fly in my personal ointment did the same. Had I actually told him he could get in bed with me? Well, I decided, as I wriggled down under the soft old sheets and the blanket and the comforter, if Eric had designs on me, I was just too tired to care.
"Woman?"
"Hmmm?"
"What's your name?"
"Sookie. Sookie Stackhouse."
"Thank you, Sookie."
"Welcome, Eric. — Charlaine Harris

I hate her skinny thighs and her elitist attitude. i hope she's a dreadful bitch who makes you so miserable that you howl when you remember me. — Charlaine Harris

How is Eric?'
'Very tightly wound. Plus, a lot of stuff happened that he'll tell you about.'
'Thanks for the warning. I'll go to the house now. You're my favorite breather.'
'Oh. Well ... great.'
She hung up. — Charlaine Harris

Ha," I said. "Oh, ha-ha. Yeah, 'cause they love me. You see how many vampires are up here? Zero, right?"
One," said Eric, stepping out of the stairwell. — Charlaine Harris

I had never realized a woman could have to struggle to keep her hands off a man, but here I was, digging my nails into my palms, staring at the inside of my eyelids as though I could maybe see through them if I peered hard enough. — Charlaine Harris

Dated" in Selah's book, being a euphemism for "had enthusiastic and frequent sex with". — Charlaine Harris

How grateful are you?" he whispered, his mouth hovering over mine. His eyes were very alert now, and his gaze was boring into mine.
"That kind of ruins it, when you say something like that," I said, trying to keep my voice gentle. "You shouldn't want me to have sex with you just because I owe you."
"I don't really care why you have sex with me, as long as you do it," he said, equally gently. — Charlaine Harris

Vampires, bringing America together! — Charlaine Harris

Woo woo, secret vampire stuff! — Charlaine Harris

Sookie: Hey, our hair's the same color.
Eric: Sure is, Girlfriend. — Charlaine Harris

Oh, God, puppy dog eyes. From a six-foot-five ancient Viking vampire. — Charlaine Harris

I didn't see what was in front of me until I thought it might be taken away. - Sam — Charlaine Harris

Sweetheart," Bill said formally, "I have always loved you, and I will be proud to die in your service. When I'm gone, say a prayer for me in a real church. — Charlaine Harris

Oklahoma is very beautiful, and Eric loves beauty, but he already has that in you. — Charlaine Harris

What I think I'll do is I'll do my best to yank Debbie out of me by the roots. And then I'll turn up on your doorstep, one day when you least expect it, and I'll hope by then you will have given up on your vampire. — Charlaine Harris

Well in two months, it'd be sunbathing time. That made me smile. I enjoyed lying in the sun in a little bikini, timing myself carefully so I didn't burn. I loved the smell of coconut oil. And I don't want to hear any lectures about how bad tanning is for you. That's my vice. Everybody gets one. — Charlaine Harris

I knew, as sure as I knew my name, that tomorrow he would send me another coat, in a big fancy box, with a big bow on it. It would be the right size, it would be a top brand, and it would be warm.
...
It was cranberry red, with a removable liner, a detachable hood, and tortoiseshell buttons. — Charlaine Harris

A year ago,' I said, 'you wouldn't have asked this of me.'
'A year ago,' he answered, 'you wouldn't have hesitated to drink.'
I crossed to the desk and tossed it down. — Charlaine Harris

But in my book, it was basically bad taste to stare at someone's assets, no matter how much on display they were. — Charlaine Harris

Did we have sex?" he asked directly.
For about two minutes, this might actually be fun. "Eric," I said, "we had sex in every position I could imagine, and some I couldn't. We had sex in every room in my house, and we had sex outdoors. You told me it was the best you'd ever had." (At the time he couldn't recall all the sex he'd ever had. But he'd paid me a compliment.) "Too bad you can't remember it," I concluded with a modest smile.
Eric looked like I'd hit him in the forehead with a mallet. For all of thirty seconds his reaction was completely gratifying. — Charlaine Harris

Life begins at night — Charlaine Harris

Sookie, what have we done? And to whom?"
"I killed a chicken. And I cooked it."
"Sookie, Sookie. My bullshit meter is reading that as a false."
-Eric Northman, Sookie Stackhouse — Charlaine Harris

I don't like having feelings, Eric said coldly, and he left.
That was a tough exit line to top. — Charlaine Harris

So, what, you just decided to sack out here and seduce me when I walked in the door? Home from spending the night at my boyfriend's? After having sex with him that could go in the Guinness Book of Records? — Charlaine Harris

Lily might be icy on the outside, but inside she was Vesuvius. — Charlaine Harris

No, I like you alive and warm and wiggling. — Charlaine Harris

This was pretty exotic stuff for a telepathic barmaid from northern Louisiana. — Charlaine Harris

They say there's no harm in daydreaming, but there is. — Charlaine Harris

Amelia was sitting on the pavement in her lawn chair, a glass of wine in her hand.
When we emerged, she set the glass down very carefully on the ground and then looked us over from head to toe.
'Okay, don't know how to react,' she said, finally. — Charlaine Harris

You were so sweet when you didn't know who you were. — Charlaine Harris

Eric: if Sookie had died, I would let you suffer.
Bill: if Sookie had died, I would already be dead. — Charlaine Harris

( ... ) that the creature I loved was lying somewhere in a hole underground, to all intents and purposes dead until dark. — Charlaine Harris

In this age of vampires, what I love about 'True Blood' the most is that it's a post-modern take on it. 'Sookie Stackhouse' series author Charlaine Harris and 'True Blood' creator Alan Ball turned that whole mythology upside-down ... It's not just about vampires. It's about a lot of different things. — Michelle Forbes

The sweetest part of being a couple is sharing your life with someone else.
But my life, evidently, had not been good enough to share. — Charlaine Harris

Darling, you can nail my ass anytime, he said charmingly, and turned to go back to his table. — Charlaine Harris

I could add her to the long list of people I didn't understand. — Charlaine Harris

Can I help you up?"
"No," she said bitterly. "I prefer to drag myself along the hardwood floor."
"Bitch," I said, squatting to help her up. — Charlaine Harris

I thought about making biscuits, but there seemed to be more than enough calories on board. — Charlaine Harris

Vampires should never say Uh-Oh!! — Charlaine Harris

May I search it?" she asked. "We screen for weapons."
I stared at her, always a risky thing to do to a vampire. "Of course not. I have no weapons. — Charlaine Harris

Sometimes you just have to regret things and move on. — Charlaine Harris

I'm supposed to be a christian, but most days I don't feel like I can even presume to say that about myself any longer. I have a lot of mad left over. When I can't sleep, I think about the other people who didn't care how much pain and trouble they caused me. And I think about how good I'd feel if they died. — Charlaine Harris

I was momentarily sidetracked by the vision of Eric herding a cow into a trailer and driving it to the shoulder of the the interstate and shooing it into the trees. — Charlaine Harris

That's just not right," Sam muttered. "Claude needs to keep his pants on. — Charlaine Harris

I would've asked him to bring a shovel and come to help me dig a body up. That was what a boyfriend should do, right?
-Sookie Stackhouse — Charlaine Harris

Well, they got married. No one pulled a Jane Eyre ... — Charlaine Harris

We had sex in every position i could imagine, and some i couldn't. we had sex in every room in my house, and we had sex outdoors. you told me it was the best you'd ever had. — Charlaine Harris

Maybe I felt like I'd come so close to forever-death that I'd better step back and take a look at my life. Maybe I didn't like a lot of what I'd done with it so far. — Charlaine Harris

I think it's 'only polite' that my wife should let me know when she's entertaining a male visitor, furthermore one that has shared her bed. — Charlaine Harris

Don't you just hate nights like that, when you think over every mistake you've made, every hurt you've received, every bit of meanness you've dealt out? There's no profit in it, no point to it, and you need sleep. — Charlaine Harris

I could feel the warmth of the dog through my nightgown; I must have gotten hot during the night and thrown off the sheet. I drowsily patted the animal's head and began to stroke his fur, my fingers running idly through the thick hair. He wriggled even closer, sniffed my face, put his arm around me.
His *arm*?
I was off the bed and shrieking in one move.
In my bed, Sam propped himself on his elbows, sunny side up, and looked at me with some amusement.
"Oh, ohmyGod! Sam, how'd you get here? What are you doing? Where's Dean?" I covered my face with my hands and turned back, but I'd certainly seen all there was to see of Sam.
"Woof," said Sam, from a human throat, and the truth stomped over me in combat boots.
I whirled back to face him, so angry I felt like I was going to blow a gasket.
"You watched me undress last night, you ... you ... damn dog! — Charlaine Harris

Okay," I said. "I'd hoped to avoid this, but ... Bill, I rescind your invitation into my house." Bill began walking backward to the door, a helpless look on his face, and my brush still in his hand. Eric grinned at him triumphantly.
"Eric," I said, and his smile faded. "I rescind your invitation into my house." And backward he went, out my door and off my porch. The door slammed shut behind (or maybe in front of?) them. — Charlaine Harris

You're lips are bloody.' He seized my face in both hands and kissed me. It's hard not to respond when a master of the art of kissing is laying one on you. — Charlaine Harris

Wow," I said, since it was all I could think of to say. "Wow. That's some outfit." When you've got a big guy wearing Lycra it doesn't leave a whole lot to the imagination. I resisted the temptation to ask Eric to turn around.
"I don't believe I could be convincing as a queen," Eric said, "but I decided this sent such a mixed signal, almost anything was possible." He fluttered his eyelashes at me. Eric was definitely enjoying this.
"Oh, yes," I said, trying to find somewhere else to look. (Living Dead in Dallas) — Charlaine Harris

The note, which had been written on one of the pads I kept around for grocery lists, said, "My lover, I came in too close to dawn to wake you, though I was tempted. Your house is full of strange men. A fairy upstairs and a little child downstairs- but as long as there's not one in my lady's chamber, I can stand it". — Charlaine Harris

For awhile I taped soap operas and watched them at night when I thought I might be forgetting what it was like to be human. After a while I stopped, because from the examples I saw on those shows, forgetting humanity was a good thing. — Charlaine Harris

Hey, our hair's the same color," I said, eying us side by side in the mirror.
"Sure is, girlfriend." Eric grinned at me. — Charlaine Harris

If this was The Lord of the Rings and I had a smart British voice like Cate Blanchett, I could tell you the background of the events of that fall in a really suspenseful way. And you'd be straining to hear the rest. — Charlaine Harris

I don't think any woman minds knowing she looks good, as long as the admiration isn't expressed in an offensive way and doesn't come from a disgusting source. — Charlaine Harris

We could go back to your house. I can stay with you always. We can know each others bodies in every way, night after night. I could love you. I could work, you would not be poor. I would help you. — Charlaine Harris

He picked some unwise words. Saying, "I'll enjoy killing you for my lord", is just not the way to make my acquaintance. — Charlaine Harris

Don't go looking for trouble; it's already looking for you. — Charlaine Harris

Some might think you suicidal."
"Well, 'some' can stick it up their ass. — Charlaine Harris

Eric: If I had known you would be this gorgeous with your clothes off, I would have tried to do this sooner.
Sookie: You did try to do this sooner, about twenty times.
Eric: Then I have good taste. — Charlaine Harris

You've reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night," "For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to alive person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you. — Charlaine Harris

I realized that I was really tired of people popping on and off of my property like it was a train station on the supernatural railroad. — Charlaine Harris

There was enough tension in the room to send a fleet of the nervous running for their tranquilizers. — Charlaine Harris

Pam. Listen.'
'The phone is pressed to my ear. Speak.'
'Appius Livius Ocella just dropped in.'
'Fuck a zombie!'
- Sookie & Pam, Dead in the Family, Charlaine Harris — Charlaine Harris

Are you a prude?' He seemed genuinely curious.
'No!' But after a second, I said, 'But may be compared to you, yes! I like my privacy. I get to decide who sees me naked. Do you get my point?'
'Yes. Objectively speaking, you have beautiful points.'
I thought the top of my head would pop off ...
(Sookie Stackhouse & Claude, Dead in the Family) — Charlaine Harris

Because he sounded so lost-the Eric I knew had never been one to do anything other than assume others should serve him-I patted around under the covers for his hand. When I found it, I slid my own over it. His palm was turned up to meet my palm, and his fingers clasped mine. And though I would not have thought it possible to go to sleep holding hands with a vampire, that's exactly what I did. — Charlaine Harris

Eric was holding my hands, and I was digging my nails into him like we were doing something else. He won't mind, I though, as I realized I'd drawn blood. And sure enough, he didn't. "Let go," he advised me, and I loosened my grip on his hands. "No, not of me," he said smiling. "You can hold on to me as long as you want. — Charlaine Harris

Angelic Sookie, vision of love and beauty, I am prostrate that the wicked evil maenad violated your smooth and voluptuous body, in an attempt to deliver a message to me. -Eric — Charlaine Harris

I love you," Bill said helplessly, as if he wished those magic words would heal me. But he knew they wouldn't.
"That's what you all keep saying," I answered. "But it doesn't seem to get me any happier. — Charlaine Harris

Sookie: "Eric, when I'm back to being myself, I'm going to nail your ass for putting me in this position of being pledged to you." Eric: Darling, you can nail my ass anytime," he said charmingly, and turned to go back to his table. Pam rolled her eyes. "You two," she said. "Hey this isn't any of my doing," I said, which wasn't entirely true. But it was a good exit line, and I took advantage of it to leave the bar. — Charlaine Harris

I didn't know what to think about first: me seeing Claude naked, Claude seeing me naked, or the whole fact that we were related and naked in the same room.
(Sookie Stackhouse, Dead in the Family) — Charlaine Harris

Though I was having a blissful moment of being happy and content, I had one of those stray ideas you get at odd moments. I thought,How nice it would be if Eric were here with me in the car. He'd look so good with the wind blowing his hair, and he'd enjoy the moment . Well, yeah, before he burned to a crisp.
But I realized I'd thought of Eric because it was the kind of day you wanted to share with the person you cared about, the person whose company you enjoyed the most. And that would be Eric as he'd been while he was cursed by a witch: the Eric who hadn't been hardened by centuries of vampire politics, the Eric who had no contempt for humans and their affairs, the Eric who was not in charge of many financial enterprises and responsible for the lives and incomes of quite a few humans and vampires. In other words, Eric as he would never be again. — Charlaine Harris

Alcide: "It's on my right butt cheek. It's shaped like a rabbit."
Sookie: "I love bunnies! — Charlaine Harris

I hate witches. Humans had the right idea, burning them at the stake. — Charlaine Harris

By the way, I haven't heard an 'I'm sorry' from you yet." My sense of grievance had overwhelmed my sense of self-preservation.
I am sorry that the maenad picked on you."
I glared at him. "Not enough," I said. I was trying hard to hang on to this conversation.
Angelic Sookie, vision of love and beauty, I am prostrate that the wicked evil maenad violated your smooth and voluptuous body, in an attempt to deliver a message to me."
That's more like it. — Charlaine Harris

You are speaking of my future lover. Be more respectful. — Charlaine Harris

Bubba made a sound of disapproval "You're not supposed to be kissing on anybody else, Miss Sookie" he said "Bill said it was okay, but I don't like it. — Charlaine Harris

Was I just curious about what the agenda might be at a vampire summit? Did I want the attention of more undead members of society? Did I want to be known as a fangbanger, one of those humans who simply adored the walking dead? Did some corner of me long for a chance to be near Bill without seeking him out, still trying to make some emotional sense
of his betrayal? Or was this about Eric? Unbeknownst to myself, was I in love with the flamboyant Viking who was so handsome, so good at making love, and so political, all atthe same time?
This sounded like a promising set of problems for a soap opera season. — Charlaine Harris

you have to play it out sometimes. — Charlaine Harris

I was surprised to find out there was a direct line from my palm to my, my, hootchie. — Charlaine Harris

This letter is written on the skin of one of the water sprites who drowned your parents.'
'Ick!' I cried, and dropped the letter on the kitchen table. — Charlaine Harris

When I thought of Eric with someone else, I wanted to rip out all his beautiful blonde hair. By the roots. In clumps. — Charlaine Harris

I want to be first. I know that's selfish, and maybe unattainable, and maybe shallow. But I just want to come first with someone. If that's wrong of me, so be it. I'll be wrong. But that's the way I feel. (Sookie Stackhouse) — Charlaine Harris

And since I'm going to be in the neighborhood, you thought I might do as an escort? To an orgy? — Charlaine Harris

We want to climb in with you,' Dermot said. 'We'll all sleep better.'
That seemed incredibly weird and creepy to me - or maybe I only thought it should have. I was simply too tired to argue. I climbed in the bed. Claude got in on one side of me, Dermot on the other. Just when I was thinking, I would never be able to sleep, that this situation was too odd and too wrong, I felt a kind of blissful relaxation roll through my body, a kind of unfamiliar comfort. I was with family. I was with blood.
And I slept. — Charlaine Harris

Come on, I said, taking his hand. Clutching the afghan with the other hand, he trailed down the hall after me, a snow white giant in tiny red underwear. — Charlaine Harris

The sweetest part of being a couple was sharing your life with someone else. — Charlaine Harris

But there was something in the air, a watchfulness laced with a charge of malice. The eyes observing us were invisible, but were observing us, nonetheless. — Charlaine Harris

There was nothing civilized about sex with Eric. — Charlaine Harris

We could go back," he said. In the dome light of the car, his face looked hard as stone. "We could go back to your house. I can stay with you always. We can know each other's bodies in every way, night after night. I could love you." His nostrils flared, and he looked suddenly proud. "I could work. You would not be poor. I would help you."
"Sounds like a marriage," I said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. But my voice was too shaky.
"Yes," he said. — Charlaine Harris

I have a big hole in my heart," I said. "But it'll close over."
I don't want to sound all Dr. Phil," she said. "But don't let the scab seal the pain in, okay?"
That's good advice," I said. "I hope I can manage it. — Charlaine Harris