Quotes & Sayings About Smirnoff
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Top Smirnoff Quotes
I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else. — Yakov Smirnoff
I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering. — Yakov Smirnoff
If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it. — Yakov Smirnoff
In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One. — Yakov Smirnoff
Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there. — Yakov Smirnoff
The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in. — Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you! — Yakov Smirnoff
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. — Yakov Smirnoff
Never having alone time is real tough on people. — Yakov Smirnoff
Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds. — Yakov Smirnoff
Once upon a time in the Land of Sad, / a girl went on a journey. / She was not a princess, except to her mother... / Her father had vanished some tipsy moons ago, / kidnapped by the pirate Captain Smirnoff. — Susan Browne
Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile. — Yakov Smirnoff
When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter. — Yakov Smirnoff
I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter. — Yakov Smirnoff
If love is the treasure, laughter is the key. — Yakov Smirnoff
I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don't use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own. — Yakov Smirnoff
I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world. — Yakov Smirnoff
On the coffee table is a half-empty bottle of Smirnoff's and two cans of NutraSlim. High tea in hell, he thinks, but — Stephen King
No guy in the history of America has ordered a Smirnoff Ice at a bar without hating himself a little. — Jay Black
In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job! — Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you can always find a party.
In Soviet Russia, Party always find you! — Yakov Smirnoff
To me, sexy is the confident energy a person produces. sexy is the comfortable feeling of being who you are. sexy is not just having beautiful lips, legs and arms; its beyond that. sexy is soul. — Karina Smirnoff
I did a show called 'What A Country,' with Yakov Smirnoff and Don Knotts. I used to write jokes for Yakov's stand-up act. — Mike Scully
I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good. — Yakov Smirnoff
It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart. — Yakov Smirnoff
We have a choice - we can both think and feel, using our heads and our hearts. — Yakov Smirnoff
My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love. — Yakov Smirnoff
In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland. — Yakov Smirnoff
So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff. — Jon Stewart
In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you! — Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you! — Yakov Smirnoff
As Americans after 9/11, we're much more united, together as a nation, and we got stronger, better, and more at peace. By peace, I mean the harmony you can feel in our united determination to fight these terrorists and killers. — Yakov Smirnoff
Its better to be second while everyone is saying You should have been first than be first when everyone says You should be second. — Karina Smirnoff
In Soviet Russia, party always finds you! — Yakov Smirnoff
I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter. — Yakov Smirnoff
When you like something, you find time to do it. — Yakov Smirnoff
After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore. — Yakov Smirnoff
We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales. — Yakov Smirnoff
Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year. That's why you need a strong line of communication ... which includes laughter. — Yakov Smirnoff
There's depth in my comedy. — Yakov Smirnoff
I fed my ego, but not my soul. — Yakov Smirnoff
I came to America to make it my home, and I did. — Yakov Smirnoff
In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing. — Yakov Smirnoff
Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. — Yakov Smirnoff
Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling. — Yakov Smirnoff
I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to. — Yakov Smirnoff
Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. — Yakov Smirnoff
We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel. — Yakov Smirnoff