Skulduggery Quotes & Sayings

Come and have a go, if you think you're hard enough — Derek Landy

Skul-man!' he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. 'Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!'
Skulduggery nodded. 'Just got back. — Derek Landy

You know," Ghastly said to Skulduggery, "for someone who hates plans, you've got an awful lot of them."
"Well, yes," Skulduggery replied, "but really, the likelihood of any of them actually working is extraordinarily slim. — Derek Landy

Tanith: Serpine is used to the Elders taking forever to make their calm, thought-out decisions. So he won't be expecting anything as amazingly rash and reckless as this
Ghastly: That'll teach him to underestimate stupid people. — Derek Landy

Punishment is not the answer. Punishment is easy. It's lazy. Redemption is hard. Redemption makes you work.
-Skulduggery — Derek Landy

We can hold them off," Shudder said. "What do you think, Skulduggery?"
"Should be fun," Skulduggery responded. "Valkyrie here has never held off a horde of zombies before. It'll be a good experience for her."
"Oh, joy," she muttered. — Derek Landy

Cartwright grooved the chisel's tooth into the base of the skull, where the spine would fuse, and lifted the hammer. The chisel jumped in his hand and half the skull turned to silt. It cascaded down the rock wall with the faintest sigh. The {nine-fingered} boy let out a string of oaths so profane, so unparalleled, that surely they'd been inspired by a hell so near.

Cartwright was glad to have a hammer in hand. — Matthew Neill Null

It always surprised Valkyrie whenever she realized just how close the weird and the wonderful, and the fierce and the frightening, lived to the rest pf the non-magical, mortal world. — Derek Landy

You think I'm wasting my time, " I accuse his flawless profile. "You think Sammy's dead."
"How could I know that, Cassie?"
"I'm not saying you know that. I'm saying you THINK that."
"Does it matter what I think?"
"No, so shut up."
"I wasn't saying anything. YOU said
"
"Don't ... say ... anything."
"I'm not."
"You just did."
"I'll stop."
"But you're not. You say you will, then you just keep going."
He starts to say something, then shuts his mouth so hard, I hear his teeth click. — Rick Yancey

The fate of the world depends upon whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives ..." ~ Skulduggery Pleasant — Derek Landy

I'm sorry? No more smooches is worse than the world ending? — Derek Landy

That girl," Skulduggery muttered, "never does what she's bloody well told ... — Derek Landy

Stairs," Valkyrie said, disappointed.
"Not just ordinary stairs," Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes."
She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?"
"They just are."
"In what way?"
"In a magicky way."
She glared at the back of his head. "They aren't magic at all, are they?"
"Not really. — Derek Landy

That man," Carol said. "The thin man at Gordon's will reading, with the ridiculous name. He's involved in this, isn't he?"
"Skulduggery Pleasant," Valkyrie nodded. "And yes, he is. — Derek Landy

Palaeontology and archaeology and other skulduggery were not subjects that interested wizards. Things are buried for a reason, they considered. There's no point in wondering what it was. Don't go digging things up in case they won't let you bury them again. — Terry Pratchett

Skulduggery: It would be a tad redudant to encourage you to hurry up, wouldn't it? Whatever you do, do not fall over. Falling over, I think, would be the wrong move to make at this moment
Valkyrie: Hate...
Skulduggery: Yes?
Valkyrie: Hate... You...
Skulduggery: Breathe some more air, the lack of oxygen is making you delirious. — Derek Landy

Vengeous scowled. 'As you can see,' he said, 'you are vastly outnumbered.'
I usually am.'
Your situation has become quite untenable.'
It usually does.'
You are within moments of being swarmed by these filthy creatures of undeath and torn apart in a maelstrom of pain and fury.'
Skulduggery paused. 'Okay, that's a new one on me. — Derek Landy

And I have lifetimes inside me, I'm the girl you see standing here,and I'm a cranky old professor, and I'm a peace-loving man, and I'm a killer and a maid and a king and a peasant. I am a dozen more. You think you're old? You got nothing on me. — Derek Landy

Skulduggery placed both hands on the table and leaned over. "You've heard about me. You've heard about the things I've done."
The smirk faded a little. "So?"
"So the stories you've heard are nothing compared to the truth, and the truth is nothing compared to what I'll do to you if something happens to Valkyrie. I'm the worst enemy you could ever make, Silas. Look at me and answer honestly, do you believe me?"
Nadir swallowed. "Yeah. — Derek Landy

We're not really intruding," he called down. "This is all a big misunderstanding."
"Stop right there!" shouted one of them.
Skulduggery held his hand to an ear he didn't have.
"What's that?"
"Stop!"
"Keep going?"
"STOP!"
"OK, we'll keep going. — Derek Landy

I wasn't always who I am now. No one ever is. I've spent my entire lifetime becoming who I am. Finally, I'm here and I'm old. It's depressing, it really is. — Derek Landy

Valkyrie: Do we have a plan?
Skulduggery: WE need to get the Grotesquery away from the bad guys, so we'll have to split up I'm going to leave, you're going to go hide under the van, wait until they load the Grotesquery in there, and then you're going to drive off under their noses
Valkyrie: What?
Skulduggery: It'll be really funny trust me — Derek Landy

If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a brave and heroic death. — Derek Landy

What you are saying, skeleton, is blasphemous."
"You're the one who dug up your own god." . . .
Vengeous scowled. "As you can see, you're vastly outnumbered."
"I usually am."
"Your situation has become quite untenable."
"It usually does."
"You are within moments of being swamped by these filthy creatures of Undeath and torn apart in a maelstrom of pain and fury."
Skulduggery paused. "OK, that's a new one to me. — Derek Landy

The rain battered the cottage. Valkyrie risked a look up at Skulduggery.
"What is it?" she whispered.
"It's a box," he whispered back.
"What kind of box?"
"A wooden one."
She gave him a look. — Derek Landy

Cheer up everyone, since we're all going to die horribly anyway, what's there to be worried about? - Skulduggery Pleasant. — Derek Landy

He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key chain and the car beeped and the doors locked.
"That's it?"
He looked up. "Sorry?"
"Aren't you afraid it might get stolen? We're not exactly in a good part of town."
"It's got a car alarm."
"Don't you, like, cast a spell or something? To keep it safe?"
"No. It's a pretty good car alarm. — Derek Landy

It was a trap. It was so obviously a trap.
Darquesse smiled. — Derek Landy

To betray is to act against, I just haven't acted at all - China Sorrows — Derek Landy

Skulduggery."
"Fletcher."
Fletcher stuck out his hand. Skulduggery observed it for a moment.
"I'm sorry, what are we doing now?"
"Shaking hands," Fletcher said. "Like adults. I just want you to know that this past year has changed me. I've grown, as a person. I'm not the same Fletcher you used to know.
"You look a lot like him."
"Well, yeah, but-"
"And you have the same ridiculous hair."
"Can we just shake hands?"
"Of course we can," Skulduggery said, and they shook. "Now what?"
"I, uh...I don't really know. What do adults usually do after they shake hands?"
"Generally, the first thing they do is let go."
"Oh, right," Fletcher said, and Skulduggery took his hand back. "So, Skulduggery, how have you been? You're looking well. That's a really nice tie.
"It's blue."
"And such a nice shade."
Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie. "You promised me he wouldn't be annoying. — Derek Landy

Skulduggery: What do you get if you kill the Elders?
Stephanie: This sounds like a joke
Skulduggery: Valkyrie --
Stephanie: I don't know
Skulduggery: Yes, yes you do.. not think what would killing the Elders result in?
Stephanie: Panic, fear? Three empty spaces in the Sanctuary - Skulduggery Pleasant — Derek Landy

Skulduggery: You won't want to move any sudden moves until we reach the road - I'll know if you crazy kids disturbs the air around the nice bag of explosives
Valkyrie: Blow it up
Skulduggery: Can't do that
Valkyrie: Why not?
Skulduggery: Not a bomb. It's a bag with collapsible jacks; for changin tyres
Valkryie: What about the remote?
Skulduggery: It opens my garage door. Don't tell them, but it doesn't even have any batteries in it — Derek Landy

Serpine: Well, Skulduggery? Where is that tired old defiance - the taunting, the goading? Where are the endless heroic clinches? Aren't you going to look me in the eye and tell me to do my worst?
Skulduggery: Actually, I was going to ask that you go easy on me. I'm feeling kind of tender today
Serpine: This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is
Skulduggery:OK
Serpine: Really?
Skulduggery: No, only joking. Do your worst. — Derek Landy

Tanith: How did Skulduggery sound?
Valkyrie: Angry and worried; He's only OK when I'm attacked by people he knows. He'd never even heard of this Sangunie guy — Derek Landy

How... how do I die?"
"In pain," he said. "Screaming... She said there was an enemy you had to fight. A creature of darkness. She said Skulduggery fought by your side for some of it, but... she sensed things more than she saw them, you know? She felt terror, and death, and futility. She felt the world on the edge of destruction, and she sensed evil. Unimaginable evil. — Derek Landy

I used to be so good at that kind of thing," Skulduggery said quietly.
"Well, my morale is certainly boosted," Valkyrie informed him.
"Really?"
"god no. That was terrible — Derek Landy

Skulduggery was right by Valkyrie's elbow, but remained quiet. She appreciated that. Any other man would have leaped in to defend her honour. Valkyrie was quite capable of doing that herself. — Derek Landy

Do you remember what Crux said?" Scorn asked China. "I bet you do. He said that you handed Skulduggery Pleasant's wife and child over to Nefarian Serpine. He said that you led them to their deaths ... Blackmail is just an ugly, ungainly word, but these are ugly and ungainly times in which we live. You will do as I say, exactly as I say, or I will tell the Skeleton Detective your terrible, terrible secret. Do you agree to my terms? — Derek Landy

It's really not as bad as it sounds. I was attacked by a shark once, back when I was alive. Well, not so much a shark as a rather large fish. And not so much attacked as looked at menacingly. But it had murder in its eyes, that fish. I knew, in that instant, if our roles had been reversed and the fish had been holding the fishing pole and I had been the one to be caught, it wouldn't hesitate a moment before eating me. So I cooked it and ate before it had a chance to turn the tables. — Derek Landy

Detective, have you ever considered the fact that violence is the recourse of the uncivilised man?" Skulduggery looked back. "I'm sophisticated, charming, suave and debonair, Professor. But I have never claimed to be civilised. — Derek Landy

I am eternal. I am the night. I am the day. I am forever. And who are you?"
"I'm Skulduggery Pleasant."
"Oh, hell.
(The Horror Writers' Halloween Ball) — Derek Landy

Cow," Tanith muttered, and that was it, the floodgates opened, and Stephanie doubled over with laughter that echoed throughout the warehouse. Tanith pointed at Stephanie and backed away. "Skulduggery, she's not being professional! — Derek Landy

Through the gaps in the books, Ryan could see someone in the next aisle over, moving slowly. Someone in black. Someone whistling. Ryan recognized the tune. It was the theme music to Harry Potter. — Derek Landy

Ryan, you're not real. You don't exist ... You're Deacon Maybury," Skulduggery said. "You're a hiding place who thinks it's a boy. — Derek Landy

You've done what?"
"I know," he said. "You're impressed. You send me out for bread and I come back with a boy. Well, not literally. That would be weird. Even for me. — Derek Landy

I kill a sofa for you and you go and sit in a chair?" Skulduggery asked. "I don't think you appreciate the sacrifice that has been made for you. — Derek Landy

I'm in the mood for some fighting." "If there is," Stephanie said, handing him his gun, "here's something you can use." "Ah, bless. I've missed her. Do you have bullets?" "Uh, no." Skulduggery paused. "Excellent," he said, and tucked the gun away. — Derek Landy

Skulduggery tilted his head. "Do you have a car?" "Nope." "Then we'll take mine." "Probably wise. I think I've forgoten how to drive. — Derek Landy

I envisaged a woman of the late nineteenth century marrying into this milieu, finding it unendurable and fleeing back with her child to the more ordinary hazards of London: of that child, given at her christening the ancient Roman name for the island, Sarnia, but reared in ignorance of her paternal background, discovering, after her mother's death, that she was an heiress, and being bidden back to claim her patrimony. Skulduggery followed naturally.
(On the writing of SARNIA) — Hilary Ford

[...} What did I tell you about wandering off? Why don't you ever do anything I say? If I didn't know any better, I would swear that you feel a compulsion to disobey authoriy figures."

"That can't be what it is," she said.

"Well, that's what it seems like."

"But I don't view you as an authority figure."

"Oh, not this again. — Derek Landy

Well," Skulduggery said, "purely to get this out of the way, I'll just go ahead and say it. There does not seem to be any sign of a railway track on the carpet or, indeed, a train hiding behind the sofa. And I don't think one could have fitted through the door. — Derek Landy

Kindness suits you."
"Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it. — Derek Landy

Ah, bless. I've missed her. Do you have bullets?"

"Uh, no."

Skulduggery paused. "Excellent. — Derek Landy

Warlocks are dark sorcerers on a dark path. They eat the souls of their enemies to absorb their strength. I haven't gone up against one of them in ... a long time. I didn't think there were any left. - Skulduggery — Derek Landy

Stephanie: Why can't you break in? You broke into the Vault
Skulduggery: That's different
Stephanie: Yes, it had alarms and vampires - this'll be so much easier
Skulduggery: There are times when extreme measures are unnecessary
Stephanie: Extreme measures are very necessary here! — Derek Landy

Look, this is all very, very weird. Why are you focusing on rumours and urban legends? You haven't even asked me any
normal questions."
"Normal questions? Like what?"
"Like, I don't know, like if Lynch had any enemies."
"Did Lynch have any enemies?"
"Well, not that I know of, no."
"Then there really was no point in me asking that, was there? Unless you wanted to distract me. You didn't want to distract me, did you, Kenny?"
"No, that's not - "
"Are you playing a game with me, Kenny?"
"I don't know what you're - "
Inspector Me leaned forward. "Did you kill him?"
"No!"
"It'd be OK if you did."
Kenny recoiled, horrified. "How would that be OK?"
"Well," Me said, "maybe not — Derek Landy

Very good book! you're gonna have to read this amazing book. the main characters are Valkyrie Cain and the bony Skulduggery Pleasant and they have a good sense of humour. I think that Derek had done a good job at expressing the character's feelings and facial expressions. I love it how in every book there is a bad person and always tries to take over the world and Valkyrie tries to stop them.
Keep going
Derek Landy!
Write more books please!!! — Derek Landy

Skulduggery, she's not being professional - Tanith Low — Derek Landy

Weren't expecting this, were you, Mr. Detective? Probably thought, once a mountain fell on her, you'd seen the last of our sister, eh?"
"To be honest," Skulduggery said, "yes. — Derek Landy

Fletcher appeared beside her. He peered at the baby.
"Can it do any tricks yet?"
"I'm still working on it. Want to hold her?"
"God, no," Fletcher said laughing. "I'd drop it."
"It's not an it, it's my baby sister. Go on, hold her. You won't make a mess of it, i swear. Only an idiot could drop a baby."
"You always say I am an idiot."
"But you're a special kind of idiot. Here."
She passed Alice into his arms, and he stood there, rigid, a look of intense concentration on his face. — Derek Landy

Lil' Darlin - Billy-Ray Sanguine — Derek Landy

The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven."
"Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil — Derek Landy

Excuse me, I believe you're standing on my sword. I don't think this is entirely fair, you're angry with Skulduggery because he didn't kill Valkyrie, but you and me, we've never even met. I mean, you have no reason to attack me, if you got to know me, if you took the time, I'm sure you'd really like me. I'm a likeable girl, everyone says so - Tanith Low — Derek Landy

Corrival looked around. 'So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.'
'Me?' Ravel asked. 'Why do I have to start it? You're the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.'
Skulduggery shook his head. 'I can't start it. I don't like most of these people. I might start shooting. — Derek Landy

Stephanie: I wouldn't mind a sister either
Tanith: Any chance of that happening?
Stephanie: I can't see what would be in it for my parents. I mean, they have the perfect daughter already - What more could they want? — Derek Landy

Put a smile on that face, Valkyrie. You're unique. Easily as unique as I am."
"Two freaks in a pod, eh?"
His head tilted, amused. "Wouldn't have it any other way. — Derek Landy

We're not robbing him," Skulduggery said." But I'm afraid I have some bad news."
"Is it Deacon?" Francine asked, her eyes wide.
"It is."
"Is he sick?"
"It's a little worse than that."
She gasped. "He's dying?"
"He was briefly dying," said Skulduggery. "Now he's dead. — Derek Landy

I love stories with a happy ending, Inspector Me said. — Derek Landy

She's actually a friend of yours... Myosotis Terra. And you wouldn't know, actually. Or to be precise, you wouldn't remember. - Skulduggery (Myosotis Terra) — Derek Landy

So this," she said, "what's happening and what's going to happen, this isn't your fault. You can't control everything and not everything is your responsibility. At Croke Park you said something about how you don't want to drag me around after you so I can die beside you. I wanted to tell you then, but I didn't have the words and I didn't have the time. I'm here because I choose to be. You save my life. I save yours. That's how we work."
"Until the end."
"Until the end. — Derek Landy

Skulduggery walked over slowly. He had picked up his severed arm and was now holding it out to her.
"Here," he said. "Let me give you a hand. — Derek Landy

I understand perfectly. Darquesse isn't a separate entity. She isn't another person. She's you. If you make the wrong choices, if you stop loving the people who love you, if you allow the world to twist and turn and change you, then yes, the future we've seen will come to pass. But if you fight, and if you kick, and struggle, and refuse to give in to the apathy, or the anger, or the hopelessness, then you'll change the future, and you'll walk your own path. And I'll be right there beside you, Valkyrie. I'll always be beside you. — Derek Landy

Skulduggery? Where's Skulduggery?"
"I'm here," Skulduggery said. "I was beginning to think you were lost to us."
Finbar's mouth twitched into a brief smile. "Sorry. You're not going to get rid of me so easily. — Derek Landy

I didn't think they even existed. They're in stories, in legends, and we have Dragon Eye jewels and dragon threads and dragon this and that, but no one ever seriously thought these things came from actual dragons. That would have been... ridiculous. - Skulduggery — Derek Landy

Bravery, after all, isn't the absence of fear. Bravery is the acknowledgement and the conquering of fear. — Derek Landy

I wouldn't mind a sister either."
"Any chance of that happening?"
"I can't see what would be in it for my parents. I mean, they have the perfect daughter already - what more could they want?"
Tanith laughed, then tried to cover it up with a cough.
"Found something?" Skulduggery asked from behind them.
Tanith turned, looking serious. "No, sorry. I thought I had, but, no, it turned out to be, uh ... more floor."
Stephanie hugged herself, trying to stop her shoulders shaking from laughter. — Derek Landy

This is stolen? We're in a stolen jet?"
"Not stolen," said Donegan Bane from the co-pilot's seat.
"Almost stolen," Gracious corrected.
"Semi-stolen," said Donegan.
"Quasi-stolen," said Gracious.
Aurora's frown did not turn upside down. "So is it stolen or not?"
Donegan and Gracious hesitated.
"Yes," they both said together. — Derek Landy

Donegan Bane and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it's sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting. — Derek Landy

It had me," he said. "The shark had me. I was, literally, about to be torn in two. You saved me. In the nick of time, you saved me."
"You're welcome," Skulduggery said.
"I was talking to Valkyrie."
Skulduggery's head tilted. "But I'm the one who figured it all out."
Valkyrie grinned. "You're very welcome, Geoffrey, although I can't take all the credit. China helped, you know."
"But I carver the right symbol," Skulduggery said.
Scrutinous clasped Valkyrie hand in his. "If there is anything I can do for you in the future, anything at all, do not hesitate to ask."
Skulduggery looked at him. "Can I ask, too?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Valkyrie cared that I was being attacked. You told me to shut up."
"That's because your screaming was very annoying. How is that my fault? — Derek Landy

Tell me: do you ever actually remember having a heart, or were you born dead? — Derek Landy

Scapegrace: Back then, I was full of ideas, I was going to renovate the whole front of the pub,, and extend out to the west, maybe get in a music system a little dancefloor. In the end, I decided not to. Too expensive, you know. And, like, nobody wanted to dance so.
Skulduggery: Vaurien, if you're trying to kill us, there are quicker ways than telling us your life story
Valkryie: Less painful too. — Derek Landy

*After Skulduggery kills Valkyrie*
Skulduggery: This has been a good day so far, all things considered, I have the location of the Grotesquey and I got to kill Valkyrie, which admittedly is something I've been wanting to do since I met her, she can be incredibly annoying
Scapegrace: Um
Skulduggery: She hardly ever shut up, I pretended to be the friends with her, but honestly, I just felt sorry for the poor girl. Not the brightest you know.
Valkyrie: You're such a goon. — Derek Landy

Well, for future reference, this is my serious face. — Derek Landy

That was a good day for me," Skulduggery said. "I didn't have to hit anyone. I didn't have to shoot anyone. I just sat around and talked to my good friend and partner, Valkyrie Cain. — Derek Landy

No one likes sarcasm, Miss Cain. I've merely delayed my exit to promise you something. You took my straight razor, li'l darlin'. That I view as an unforgivable offense. So when the time comes, when you have served your purpose, I swear to you I'm gonna kill you for free." And with that, Billy-Ray Sanguine disappeared into the ground. Then he popped his head back up. "Or at least half price." And he was gone again. — Derek Landy

So that plan worked out well.'
Skulduggery, your entire plan consisted of, and I quote, "Let's get up close and then see what happens."'
All the same,' he said, 'I think the whole thing worked out rather beautifully. — Derek Landy

She's you, without your conscience, or your feelings. She's you without your humanity."
"You're saying she's a mood swing?"
He shrugged. "Or maybe you're her mood swing."
"Don't even joke about that. — Derek Landy

Wow," she said. "It's like you're teaching me something and being all wise."
"You are not easy to get along with," Skulduggery said. — Derek Landy

Well, OK then." He narrowed his eyes. "How about you? Do you have any ... romances I should know about?"
"Nope. Not one."
"Well, good. Excellent. There'll be plenty of time for boys when you leave college and become a nun."
She smiled. "I'm glad you have such ambitious dreams for me. — Derek Landy

If things go wrong, I'll lead them away. Once it's clear, get back to the car. If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a very brave and heroic death. Oh and don't Oh, and don't touch the radio
I've got it tuned right where I want it and I don't want you messing that up. — Derek Landy

Skulduggery: The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives
Stephanie: It may depend
Skulduggery: Valkyrie--
Stephanie: Fine I'll go -
Skulduggery: Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monster. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant. — Derek Landy

Skulduggery: I don't know what they are, but there are dozens of them, relatively small, moving as a pack
Valkyrie: They might be kittens
Skulduggery: They're stalking us
Valkyrie: They might be shy
Skulduggery: I don't think they're kittens
Valkyrie: Puppies then? — Derek Landy

We're here on Sanctuary business," Skulduggery tried.
The man on Deadfall's right bristled, and Deadfall grinned. "Hear that, Pete? They're with that Sanctuary."
Hokum Pete snarled. "I hate the Sanctuary."
"Oh," Skulduggery said.
"We all hate the Sanctuary."
"Ah. Then we're not here on Sanctuary business. I was just joking. — Derek Landy

Aurora sagged. "Why is it," she asked, "that every time I'm with you two we end up stealing something big?"
"We always return it," Donegan said, a little defensively. "Maybe not always in one piece or necessarily to the right person but return it we do, and so it is not stealing, it is merely borrowing."
Gracious looked at him. "It's a little bit stealing."
"Anyone who leaves a private jet just lying around deserves to have it stolen."
"It wasn't lying around," said Gracious. "It was locked up tight. It took us an hour to dismantle the security system and get inside."
Donegan looked at him. "You're not helping. — Derek Landy

We passed Clarabelle," Skulduggery said. "She drank from one of the test tubes she was holding."
Kenspeckle's head dropped. "That girl," he said. "One of these days she'll learn. I don't know what she'll learn, but she'll learn and it will be a good day."
"Is she in any danger?"
He started searching drawers. "Not really. Both tubes contain mineral water. You'd be astonished how many I've given her water and told her it was something else and not to drink it. She always drinks it though. Always. It's a compulsion. — Derek Landy

Ghastly and Anton have been murdered. Ravel's betrayed us. Valkyrie is ... gone. The Dead Men have had their last stand and we've fallen, Saracen. The three of us are all that remain. - Skulduggery — Derek Landy

I am Detective Inspector Me. This is my partner, Detective Her."
The traffic warden frowned. "Her?"
"Me," said Stephanie.
"Him?"
"Not me," said Skulduggery. "Her."
"Me," said Stephanie.
"You?" said the traffic warden.
"Yes," said Stephanie.
"I'm sorry, who are you?"
Stephanie looked at him. "I'm Her, he's Me. Got it? — Derek Landy

Just put the stone in your pocket, then leave me in an empty room so I can gaze out at all the Edgleys and laugh. Or maybe I'll pretend to be a ghost and haunt Beryl - Echo-Gordon (Skulduggery Pleasant: Playing With Fire) — Derek Landy

Peace means nothing without freedom. — Derek Landy

Have you ever heard of Remnants? - Skulduggery — Derek Landy