Skulduggery Pleasant 1 Quotes & Sayings

Tanith: Serpine is used to the Elders taking forever to make their calm, thought-out decisions. So he won't be expecting anything as amazingly rash and reckless as this
Ghastly: That'll teach him to underestimate stupid people. — Derek Landy

It always surprised Valkyrie whenever she realized just how close the weird and the wonderful, and the fierce and the frightening, lived to the rest pf the non-magical, mortal world. — Derek Landy

You think I'm wasting my time, " I accuse his flawless profile. "You think Sammy's dead."
"How could I know that, Cassie?"
"I'm not saying you know that. I'm saying you THINK that."
"Does it matter what I think?"
"No, so shut up."
"I wasn't saying anything. YOU said
"
"Don't ... say ... anything."
"I'm not."
"You just did."
"I'll stop."
"But you're not. You say you will, then you just keep going."
He starts to say something, then shuts his mouth so hard, I hear his teeth click. — Rick Yancey

Skulduggery: It would be a tad redudant to encourage you to hurry up, wouldn't it? Whatever you do, do not fall over. Falling over, I think, would be the wrong move to make at this moment
Valkyrie: Hate...
Skulduggery: Yes?
Valkyrie: Hate... You...
Skulduggery: Breathe some more air, the lack of oxygen is making you delirious. — Derek Landy

Valkyrie: Do we have a plan?
Skulduggery: WE need to get the Grotesquery away from the bad guys, so we'll have to split up I'm going to leave, you're going to go hide under the van, wait until they load the Grotesquery in there, and then you're going to drive off under their noses
Valkyrie: What?
Skulduggery: It'll be really funny trust me — Derek Landy

He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key chain and the car beeped and the doors locked.
"That's it?"
He looked up. "Sorry?"
"Aren't you afraid it might get stolen? We're not exactly in a good part of town."
"It's got a car alarm."
"Don't you, like, cast a spell or something? To keep it safe?"
"No. It's a pretty good car alarm. — Derek Landy

To betray is to act against, I just haven't acted at all - China Sorrows — Derek Landy

Skulduggery: What do you get if you kill the Elders?
Stephanie: This sounds like a joke
Skulduggery: Valkyrie --
Stephanie: I don't know
Skulduggery: Yes, yes you do.. not think what would killing the Elders result in?
Stephanie: Panic, fear? Three empty spaces in the Sanctuary - Skulduggery Pleasant — Derek Landy

Skulduggery: You won't want to move any sudden moves until we reach the road - I'll know if you crazy kids disturbs the air around the nice bag of explosives
Valkyrie: Blow it up
Skulduggery: Can't do that
Valkyrie: Why not?
Skulduggery: Not a bomb. It's a bag with collapsible jacks; for changin tyres
Valkryie: What about the remote?
Skulduggery: It opens my garage door. Don't tell them, but it doesn't even have any batteries in it — Derek Landy

Serpine: Well, Skulduggery? Where is that tired old defiance - the taunting, the goading? Where are the endless heroic clinches? Aren't you going to look me in the eye and tell me to do my worst?
Skulduggery: Actually, I was going to ask that you go easy on me. I'm feeling kind of tender today
Serpine: This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is
Skulduggery:OK
Serpine: Really?
Skulduggery: No, only joking. Do your worst. — Derek Landy

Tanith: How did Skulduggery sound?
Valkyrie: Angry and worried; He's only OK when I'm attacked by people he knows. He'd never even heard of this Sangunie guy — Derek Landy

No one likes sarcasm, Miss Cain. I've merely delayed my exit to promise you something. You took my straight razor, li'l darlin'. That I view as an unforgivable offense. So when the time comes, when you have served your purpose, I swear to you I'm gonna kill you for free." And with that, Billy-Ray Sanguine disappeared into the ground. Then he popped his head back up. "Or at least half price." And he was gone again. — Derek Landy

If things go wrong, I'll lead them away. Once it's clear, get back to the car. If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a very brave and heroic death. Oh and don't Oh, and don't touch the radio
I've got it tuned right where I want it and I don't want you messing that up. — Derek Landy

Scapegrace: Back then, I was full of ideas, I was going to renovate the whole front of the pub,, and extend out to the west, maybe get in a music system a little dancefloor. In the end, I decided not to. Too expensive, you know. And, like, nobody wanted to dance so.
Skulduggery: Vaurien, if you're trying to kill us, there are quicker ways than telling us your life story
Valkryie: Less painful too. — Derek Landy

Skulduggery: I don't know what they are, but there are dozens of them, relatively small, moving as a pack
Valkyrie: They might be kittens
Skulduggery: They're stalking us
Valkyrie: They might be shy
Skulduggery: I don't think they're kittens
Valkyrie: Puppies then? — Derek Landy

Well, OK then." He narrowed his eyes. "How about you? Do you have any ... romances I should know about?"
"Nope. Not one."
"Well, good. Excellent. There'll be plenty of time for boys when you leave college and become a nun."
She smiled. "I'm glad you have such ambitious dreams for me. — Derek Landy

Wow," she said. "It's like you're teaching me something and being all wise."
"You are not easy to get along with," Skulduggery said. — Derek Landy

It's really not as bad as it sounds. I was attacked by a shark once, back when I was alive. Well, not so much a shark as a rather large fish. And not so much attacked as looked at menacingly. But it had murder in its eyes, that fish. I knew, in that instant, if our roles had been reversed and the fish had been holding the fishing pole and I had been the one to be caught, it wouldn't hesitate a moment before eating me. So I cooked it and ate before it had a chance to turn the tables. — Derek Landy

She's you, without your conscience, or your feelings. She's you without your humanity."
"You're saying she's a mood swing?"
He shrugged. "Or maybe you're her mood swing."
"Don't even joke about that. — Derek Landy

Just put the stone in your pocket, then leave me in an empty room so I can gaze out at all the Edgleys and laugh. Or maybe I'll pretend to be a ghost and haunt Beryl - Echo-Gordon (Skulduggery Pleasant: Playing With Fire) — Derek Landy

Peace means nothing without freedom. — Derek Landy

Excuse me, I believe you're standing on my sword. I don't think this is entirely fair, you're angry with Skulduggery because he didn't kill Valkyrie, but you and me, we've never even met. I mean, you have no reason to attack me, if you got to know me, if you took the time, I'm sure you'd really like me. I'm a likeable girl, everyone says so - Tanith Low — Derek Landy

Corrival looked around. 'So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.'
'Me?' Ravel asked. 'Why do I have to start it? You're the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.'
Skulduggery shook his head. 'I can't start it. I don't like most of these people. I might start shooting. — Derek Landy

Stephanie: I wouldn't mind a sister either
Tanith: Any chance of that happening?
Stephanie: I can't see what would be in it for my parents. I mean, they have the perfect daughter already - What more could they want? — Derek Landy

So this," she said, "what's happening and what's going to happen, this isn't your fault. You can't control everything and not everything is your responsibility. At Croke Park you said something about how you don't want to drag me around after you so I can die beside you. I wanted to tell you then, but I didn't have the words and I didn't have the time. I'm here because I choose to be. You save my life. I save yours. That's how we work."
"Until the end."
"Until the end. — Derek Landy

Lil' Darlin - Billy-Ray Sanguine — Derek Landy

I understand perfectly. Darquesse isn't a separate entity. She isn't another person. She's you. If you make the wrong choices, if you stop loving the people who love you, if you allow the world to twist and turn and change you, then yes, the future we've seen will come to pass. But if you fight, and if you kick, and struggle, and refuse to give in to the apathy, or the anger, or the hopelessness, then you'll change the future, and you'll walk your own path. And I'll be right there beside you, Valkyrie. I'll always be beside you. — Derek Landy

Bravery, after all, isn't the absence of fear. Bravery is the acknowledgement and the conquering of fear. — Derek Landy

I wouldn't mind a sister either."
"Any chance of that happening?"
"I can't see what would be in it for my parents. I mean, they have the perfect daughter already - what more could they want?"
Tanith laughed, then tried to cover it up with a cough.
"Found something?" Skulduggery asked from behind them.
Tanith turned, looking serious. "No, sorry. I thought I had, but, no, it turned out to be, uh ... more floor."
Stephanie hugged herself, trying to stop her shoulders shaking from laughter. — Derek Landy

Tell me: do you ever actually remember having a heart, or were you born dead? — Derek Landy