Quotes & Sayings About Shuffleboard

I'm a championship handball player. I'm a championship softball and baseball player. I used to be an extremely talented center in high school in football. I also dabbled in lacrosse and soccer. I'm really good at billiards, darts, shuffleboard. — Action Bronson

Organized shuffleboard has always filled me with dread. Everything about it suggests infirm senescence and death: it's a game played on the skin of a void, and the rasp of the sliding puck is the sound of that skin getting abraded away bit by bit. — David Foster Wallace

Sometimes I lie awake ay night, and I wonder, "is life like golf or is it more like baseball?" Then a voice comes to me out of the dark that says, "try shuffleboard. — Charles M. Schulz

I figured you'd prefer that to skydiving or Sumo Wrestling Sunday."
"What is Sumo Wrestling Sunday?"
"We'd dress up in those sumo wrestling suits that would make us look real fat. And then we'd wrestle."
"Oh god lord," I mutter. " Shuffleboard Sunday sounds just fine."
"Good. I had no idea where I was gonna get sumo wrestling suits." I give him a look. — Miranda Kenneally

So once the zookeeper realized it was the monkeys who stole the bananas, he knew there was only one way he'd be able to get them back."
"How?" I whispered. My throat was so sore.
"Don't talk. He had to beat them in shuffleboard, of course."
"What?"
"I said don't talk. Monkeys love shuffleboard."
He used a page from a homework assignment he'd failed and a stack of quarters to make a shuffleboard court. I watched the monkeys and the zookeepers have their showdown while I sipped the last of my applejuice.
"Need more?" Graham asked me without looking up, when my straw skidded against the dry bottom of the box.
"Uh uh."
"You're supposed to drink juice."
"I just drank some."
"More, though."
I shook my head.
"Drink more juice or the monkeys are going to kill you. The only thing they love more than shuffleboard is beating up dehydrated sick boys. — Hannah Moskowitz

Just go to a bar, watch football - that's fun to me because I've not gotten to see anything because I've been travelling so much. Playing some shuffleboard and some pool and darts. I like kind of dive-y bars. — Miles Teller

A man is an increasingly hard thing to find. We live in a society of boys - twenty-, thirty-, forty-, fifty-, and sixty-year-old boys. Many guys today seem to have the goal of maintaining a junior-high mentality all the way through life. The ultimate in life seems to be to retire, still a boy. I suggest there is virtually no difference between the shuffle board courts of St. Petersburg, Florida, and the parties at Daytona Beach. The proof of my suggestion is that those playing shuffleboard would be at Daytona Beach if they were fifty ears younger. They've not developed into men at all; they've just gotten older. — David A. Dewitt