Sh'bam Quotes & Sayings

This is the great luxury of not working: the moment you read a book that has nothing to do with work, you know you're really relaxed. And I have a sh*t attention span. I can't concentrate for more than five minutes. — Eddie Redmayne

When you are surrounded by people who are much better than you, you have two choices: You can sh*t the bed, and the performance can go to hell. Or you can step up and rise to the occasion. — John Cena

Whoever said it's tough at the top is talking absolute sh*t. — Conor McGregor

The door to Blay's room opened wide without a knock, a hello, a hey-are-you-decent.
Qhuinn stood in between the jambs, breathing hard, like he'd run down the hall of statues.
Sh**, had Layla lost the pregnancy after all?
Those mismatched eyes searched around. "You by yourself?"
Why the hell would - Oh, Saxton. Right. "Yes - "
The male took three strides forward, reached up ... and kissed the ever-loving crap out of Blay.
The kiss was the kind that you remembered all your life, the connection forged with such totality that everything from the feel of the body against your own, to the warm slid of another's lips on yours, to the power as well as the control, was etched into your mind ... — J.R. Ward

You say you're a writer but you're depressed. Not an excuse; write from there. Write some depressing sh*t. Believe me. You will have plenty of readers who can relate. Remember writers write. — Stanley Christopher

A lot of people like to downgrade Morocco and Africa like its all jungles and lions and sh*t. The actual truth is a lot of stuff is going on out there. — French Montana

You'll find sympathy in the dictionary between sh*t and suicide. — Roddy Piper

I love her. My piano. play the sh*t outta her. — Lady Gaga

If people can be convinced to pick up dog sh*t, who knows what social change is possible? — Franke James

You're splitting?"
"No sh*it, Sherlock. — Scott Westerfeld

Only if we realise how sh*t we were at Blackburn can we improve. — Paolo Di Canio

Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.' I suppose you could say 'Merry Christmas' and 'Happy New Year,' but you probably have sh*t to do. — Jon Stewart

I stuff another handful of Raisinets in my mouth. What gets me is the 'pretty face' bit. 'Cause I won't mind being reminded I'm fat as long as you water it down first. Why not say, Hey I'm going to insult you, but first I will congratulate your fortunate genetics and appropriate appliclation of Bobbi Brown cosmetics to prevent you from hitting me. Sh*t; I kind of prefer being called a 'fat bitch.' At least it doesn't pull any punches. — Jen Lancaster

Opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one and they are usually full of sh*t! — Habeeb Akande

Then Gerry heard through his helmet radio the two most dreaded words any crew never wanted to hear during a space mission; Oh sh*t — Scott Mackay

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is? Mitch: No. What? Curly: This. [He holds up one finger.] Mitch: Your finger? Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and everything else don't mean sh*t. Mitch: That's great, but what's the "one thing"? Curly: That's what you've got to figure out. — Gary Keller

I once dated a guy who was like, 'Holy sh
, I just made out with Harriet the Spy!' And that's messed up. Don't say that. I was 10, you're 30, it's just weird. — Michelle Trachtenberg

The dog is not bored. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking Rubik's Cube. He's a goddamned dog. — Justin Halpern

Sometimes you just gotta let sh-t go and say 'to hell with it' and move on. — Eminem

When it comes to staying myself - my career isn't my life, it doesn't come home with me. So it's a piece of piss staying grounded and not being changed by it. The same things I've always liked still satisfy me. My team's the same and my group of friends are the same. Of course I'm bowled over by people's response to 21, and when I meet artists I love, it blows my mind. But it baffles me as well. I go home and my best friend laughs at me, rather than going to a celebrity-studded party to rub shoulders with people who know me but who I don't know. I'm Z-list when it comes to that sh**. — Adele

Follow these steps to set up an environment variable which tells Confluence where to find Java: Inside the {CONFLUENCE_INSTALL} directory, go to the bin directory and find the setenv.sh file. Open the setenv.sh file in TextEdit. Add the following line as the first line of the file: export JAVA_HOME=/Library/Java/Home Save the file. — Sarah Maddox

You're the first bangin' *ss hot b*tch I ever met that's got her sh*t together. Most hot b*tches are dumb as fuck. — Scott Hildreth

Them haters in your face you just ignore them. Don't know what they talking sh-t for. — Wiz Khalifa

She spent hours drawing on her own, trying to perfect her craft. And when she got into music, she had that same diligence in developing her own style as well as perfecting the craft of singing. I don't think that is part of the normal assumption of who sh — Laura Joplin

From an early age I loved horror movies. I read books about horror, cops, firemen and military. Over the course of the years I started to see that there's a reality to this. The first movie I was really conscious of seeing was THE EXORCIST and I don't know if any of you have seen that but it scared the sh*t out of me. It really frightened me. — Ralph Sarchie

I've got a cab waiting so we sh-" he stopped speaking as he entered the
sitting room, his eyes frozen on me.
"Fuck."
Ellie giggled.
I squinted an eye at him. "Is that a good fuck?"
He grinned. "Well you're that too, babe. — Samantha Young

He felt her draw a little shuddering breath, and then a wet tumble of water on her cheek. She whispered, "God forgive, Jervaulx - that I sh'dovethee."

That I should love thee.
It broke the spell that held him. Had she said that? He pushed back, gazing at her. — Laura Kinsale

At the same time, Dad was working on a book arguing the case for phonetic spelling. He called it 'A Ghoti out of Water.' "Ghoti," he liked to point out, could be pronounced like "fish." The "gh" had the "f" sound in "enough," the "o" had the short "i" sound in "women," and "ti" had the "sh" sound in "nation. — Jeannette Walls

LOGAN: You see, Blake, the thing is, I don't give a sh*t what other people think. — Sam Crescent

Now keep in mind that I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my sh*t — Erykah Badu

I've never seen a man go after a woman like that. Holy sh*t, it's like porn with the romance. — Katy Evans

I'm proud to say I'm the only Slaughterhouse member who has not rewritten a verse yet, and that's the ongoing joke in the group, 'cause everybody has rewrote their sh*t except for me. — Joe Budden

The Dolly's around here can't be seen to coddle a snitch's family
that's the always been our way. We're old blood, us people, and our ways was set firm long before hot shot baby Jesus ever even burped milk'n sh*& yellow. — Daniel Woodrell

So often the woman forgets her own greatness and she goes a little bat sh
crazy sometimes. So its up to the other half to love that person back into the person we know them to be. — Jason Mraz

To me, same-sex marriage is like the new normal. I don't give a sh*t. If two gay people want to get married it doesn't bother me. If two people say they love each other and they want to be together, they should be together. Don't you think? — NeNe Leakes

Several people inspired me like Lil' Wayne, Juvenile, the whole Cash Money camp, the No Limit camp, DMX, Jay-Z, Eminem, LL Cool J, I listened to all type of sh*t. I listened to R&B like Teena Marie, just good music - anybody that made good music. When I was growing up out west I listened to Twista, Do or Die, and Crucial Conflict. They were the "it" artists in Chicago. I wanted to be like them on TV and all of that so that's how it all started. — King Louie

You can't rewrite nothing, but you can rewrite 90 pages of sh*t. Now you've got your sh*t on the page, you can go work. — Jeff Daniels

Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn't work. — Jon Stewart

JACKSON: When I give my word I mean that sh*t and I have no respect for anyone who breaks their word so easily. — Jordan Silver

I do feel like there are the pop stars of the world and then I'm like their dirty little sister, running around with sh*t on my face in combat boots because I can't walk in heels. — Kesha

She stuck to side streets, riding slowly, with care. The trip took a little under an hour, and Diane was feeling a pulsing pain in her calf by the time sh pulled up to the front of the pawnshop. There was a black sedan with tinted windows at the end of the lot--the windows cracked down enough for her to see two sunglassed agents of a vague yet menacing government agency. One of them raised her camera and tried to take a photo of Diane, but the camera flashed, only reflecting the car window back at the lens. The agent swore. Diane waved a cursory hello at them and walked into the store. — Joseph Fink

You're ten years old now, you have to take a shower every day ... I don't give a shit if you hate it. People hate smelly fuckers. I will not have a smelly fucker for a son. — Justin Halpern

I do not give a sh*t, the toilet miss me now — Mohlalefi J Motsima

Who's going to take care of it? You? ... Son, you came in the house yesterday with sh*t on your hands. Humansh*t. I don't know how that happened, but if someone has shit on their hands, it's an indicator that maybe the whole responsibility thing isn't for them. -Dad — Justin Halpern

I was pretty quiet as a child. I kind of hung out with my family and listened to music and sh*t. I wasn't too outgoing at all. — James Hetfield

I'd take Bieber to the woodshed and spank him. His manager Scooter Braun is scared sh-tless. I don't know what Bieber's problem is. His career is over in three years anyway. — Peter Mensch

Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t. — Jon Stewart

When I got back to my office Tween was there. She rose from the foyer couch as I wheezed in off the ramp. I took one look at her and said, "Come inside." She followed me through the inner door. I waved my hand over the infra-red plate and it closed. Then I put out my arms.
She bleated like a new-born lamb and flew to me. Her tears were scalding, and I don't think human muscles are built for the wrenching those agonized sobs gave her. People should cry more. They ought to learn how to do it easily, like laughing or sweating. Crying piles up. In people like Tween, who do nothing if they can't smile and make a habit-pattern of it, it really piles up. With a reservoir like that, and no developed outlet, things get torn when the pressure builds too high.
I just held her tight so she wouldn't explode. The only thing I said to her was "sh-h-h" once when she tried to talk while she wept. One thing at a time. — Theodore Sturgeon

I'm not sure I'm up for going to the moon. I'd rather go to Antigua as far as holiday destinations go. Well, they all went mental didn't they, astronauts? Perhaps it's very helpful because you're reminded that you have a very short life and really there's nothing to worry about at all. But then you might come back to earth and not give a sh*t about anything. — Miranda Hart

Hmm," she hums after a moment.
"What?"
"Just thinking ... We both want you to get this role."
"No sh*t."
"And arguing obviously isn't helping us out."
I snort. "But that's what we do. — Cassie Mae

On Lego's
Listen, I don't want to stifle your creativity, but that thing you built there, it looks a pile of shit. — Justin Halpern

I can't promise I won't soil my trousers in here," he said. "You and me both." Pete extended his hand. Mr. Stovall gripped it tight and they shook on the matter of potential pants-sh*tting, then rejoined the other vampires at the door. — Scott S. Phillips

Poor people have sh*tty lobbyists. — Jon Stewart

Sh!t. F_ck sh!t.' ...
'Sh!t f_ck would have also been accepted. — Ilona Andrews

The Angel blade burns you, just as God's name chokes you," said Valentine, his cool voice sharp as crystal. "They say that those who die upon its point will achieve the gates of heaven. In which case, revenant, I am doing you a favor." He lowered the blade so that the tip touched Simon's throat. Valentine's eyes were the color of black water and there was nothing in them: no anger, no compassion, not even any hate. They were empty as a hollowed-out grave. "Any last words?"
Simon knew what he was supposed to say. Sh'ma Yisrael, adonai elohanu, adonai echod. Hear, oh Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One. He tried to speak the words, but a searing pain burned his throat.
"Clary," he whispered instead. — Cassandra Clare

Russians always need a little sh*t in our lives. If everything is good and we seem completely happy, then we become suspicious of that. — Anna Netrebko

My friend Bill O'Reilly is completely full of sh*t. — Jon Stewart

Thirties. Go to therapy. Clean up all of the sh-t. Clean up all of the toxins and the noise. Understand who you are. Educate yourself on the self. — Jennifer Aniston

It was the curse that made me do it, you know. I don't believe in that sh*t, Oscar. That's our parents' sh*t. It's ours, too, he said. — Junot Diaz

Cause my life is dope, and I do dope sh*t — Dave Chappelle

My kids are not interested in anything I do. And I mean that not in any dis to my children or dis to me. My kids have their own life, they could give a sh*t what I do. — Jamie Lee Curtis

In the creative process, my ego has always been a huge tyrant ... a dictator and kind of rude and very misleading, because sometimes when I'm doing something, I say, "This is great! This is fantastic! Very genius!" And 20 minutes later, I feel like a dead jellyfish. "You are a stupid a**hole. This is a piece of sh*t. Nobody will care about it." — Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu

If it's that jerk, he's going to see my gun. 'My body is a weapon.' Dumb sh*t. I bet my gun can take out his body really damn quick. — Lexi Blake

It was M-m-moe and Shorty," I said. "Damn, I can't stop
shaking."
"Adrenaline burn-off," Ranger said. "It's normal."
"Why aren't you sh-sh-shaking?"
"I'm not normal. — Janet Evanovich

I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like if a bird sh*t all over them. — Demetri Martin

It's not too late," he says. "Zahra, I - "
"Sh." I lay a finger across his lips. "Don't say it. You will marry Caspida, and you will learn to love each other. You will live a happy life, long after my lamp has passed to new hands."
"I won't make my third wish," he says. "That's the answer! If I don't make the wish, you can stay here in the palace for as long as you want. You'll never have to go back to your lamp. We can fight off anyone who tries to take you from me. — Jessica Khoury

I don't really like actors. Actors are like terrible comedians with no punch lines. It's all about them. They talk about themselves all the time. They bore the sh - t out of you. — Joe Rogan

Because we're old as sh*t. What do you want? — Kobe Bryant

Just because you can, doesn't necessarily mean that you sh — Bill Collins

John Kerry is finding out that it is no fun to be the front runner, that's when you get all the heat. He had to deny internet rumors this week that he had Botox treatments. The Republicans say Kerry should have a clear, unfurrowed brow the old fashioned way by not giving a sh
. — Bill Maher

Tell you what, you let me go, and I'll ask you plenty of questions about your race. Until then, I'm slightly distracted with how this little vacation on the good ship Holy Sh*t is going to pan out for me. — J.R. Ward

Even though I was drunk as a skunk at the time, I still remembered what happened after that. Less than two seconds later he was inside me and I was waving good-bye to my virginity. I wanted it to last forever. I saw stars, came three times that night and it was the most beautiful experience of my life. Yeah right. Are you kidding me? Have you lost your virginity lately? It hurts like a mother effer and it's awkward and messy. Anyone that tells you she had anything even close to resembling an orgasm during the actual event itself is a lying sack of sh*t. The only stars I saw were the ones behind my eyelids as I squeezed them shut and waited for it to be over. — Tara Sivec

Stopping a piece of work just because it's hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea. Sometimes you have to go on when you don't feel like it, and sometimes you're doing good work when if feels like all you're managing is to shovel sh*t from a sitting position. — Stephen King

What does the money machine eat? It eats youth, spontaneity, life, beauty, and, above all, it eats creativity. It eats quality and sh*ts quantity. — William S. Burroughs

I become an actress to do things that scare the sh*t out of me and I felt like I didn't stand a chance to get this part because people have preconceived notions about me, but if they gave me the part, I would do everything in my power to not screw it up. — Lizzy Caplan

You have hang-ups because of sh*t that happened to you in your past. I already told you I don't like being measured by that *ssh*le's mistakes, but a second ago you thought the worst. I've been spending time with you, trying to show you who I am. You're a smart woman. I know you can tell the difference between us. But if you're gonna think that every time I'm away from you that I'm doing you wrong, then you're never truly going to be happy. — Jordan Silver

Every morning I look in the mirror and remind myself: "No one owes you sh*t!" In this way, I am never disappointed. Never placing blame. — Brandi L. Bates

We've all been in positions where we felt out of place or not accepted for whatever reason. For me, that's been my life. I've always been that person that stood out. And what makes you an outcast is what makes you unique, and you should harness that. Being a black sheep gives you creative license to do sh*t differently. — Andre Hueston Mack

My very first professional job was with a theatre company in 1965 and the first job they gave me was literally shovelling sh*t. I was an assistant stage manager and they told me to clear out the prop store. I opened it up and no-one had been in there for 25 years and it was inches deep in rat sh*t. So before I could get anywhere I had to clear it up. I thought, 'All these years of training, the best drama school in the world, and this is what I'm doing.' — Martin Shaw

Nowadays there are so many stars on television.There are all these generic stars now.There's Dave Caruso ... Dave Caruso's kind of fun: "I know he killed your family ... but he won't do it again." He says the stupidest sh*t. "I know he shot your children, but he won't do it any more." There isn't really a recognisable personality out there. — Pablo Francisco

The Russian commands sound like the name of the camp commandant. Shishtvanyanov: a gnashing and spluttering collection of ch, sh, tch, shch. We can't understand the actual words, but we sense the contempt. You get used to contempt. After a while the commands just sound like a constant clearing of the throat - coughing, sneezing, nose blowing, hacking up mucus. Trudi Pelikan said: Russian is a language that's caught a cold. — Herta Muller

Why have you not broken from the pack? You're playing it safe. Safe aint gonna get you sh!t in this world — Stone Cold Steve Austin

On playing Batman and his daughter: If I was doing the sequel to Frozen I would be a hero. My two older daughters could give a sh-t about Batman and they've now passed that affection onto my son. He's always like, 'Papa, can I watch Frozen?' And I'm like, 'No, dude, it's not on again!'. — Ben Affleck

My feeling is that I think writers in general tend to be self-conscious and it takes a bit of a leap of faith or just not giving a sh-t to write something you know people are going to criticize. — Conor Oberst

I'm a John Denver freak, and I don't give a sh*t that he looks like a f***ing turkey. — Grace Slick

I always said if I ever get married, I would tell my woman - I love Michael Jordan, I am a Michael Jordan fanatic - I said, 'Michael Jordan is the only athlete you can sleep with and I wouldn't get mad, as long as you got something signed. You gotta bring back a ball, a hat or something. You can't just give away that sh*t for free.' — Aries Spears

Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all. — Joan Rivers

Life is a piece of sh*t, just roll with it — Cricket

I went to a place recently I think is one of the most f**ked up places I've ever been to. I'm convinced this place is the epitome of American excess, of American greed. I'm talking about a place called Cold Stone Creamery. Whoa. If you have not been there, the basic gist of Cold Stone is that they take ice cream and then they just go ape sh*t with it. — Aziz Ansari

Shh! It happens. Sh!it happens. — Vikrmn

[She] was juggling a lot of crap. And sh it is incredibly difficult to juggle. No matter how hard you try, it still falls apart and slips through your fingers, and even when you're managing to keep it aloft, it still stinks. — Amy Harmon

You should never ever ever have somebody else who is the foundation of your life. You need to be the foundation of your own sh*t. — Trisha Goddard

I'm not using drugs to get high like many people think. I know I made a big mistake when I started using this sh-. It's a very difficult thing to explain. My liver is not functioning and I'm throwing up all the time and shitting my pants. The pain is more than you can handle. It's the worst pain in the world. Dope sick hurts the entire body. — Layne Staley

Justin Halpern tosses lightning bolts of laughter out of his pocket like he is shooting dice in a back alley. In one sweep of a paragraph, he ranges from hysterical to disgusting to touching
and does it all seamlessly. Sh*t My Dad Says is a really, really funny book. — Laurie Notaro

You can talk sh-t b-ch, I'm worth a million. — Wiz Khalifa

Listen," I sighed and reached for my plastic bottle. "I want to get this sh!t over and done. Can we strive to obtain that goal? I have a meaningless existence, and I can't put that kind of action on hold indefinitely — J.A. Saare

Half of the popcorn sh-t that's out there, we know it's popcorn. But we're like, "It's my guilty pleasure." I feel like we have more guilty pleasure than actual f - kin' pleasure. — Saul Williams

I'm one of those artists who have the presence and that swag ... I was always built for the music, I don't get on cameras and pop sh*t and base it on a whole lot of hype and talk, I was built off my music ... — Juelz Santana

Ninety percent of cancers are curable in stage one. We spend billions of dollars and over 40 years searching for a cure, and we're not really that close. So why aren't we teaching people the only cure we have now? Early detection is one sh**ty year, versus the rest of your life. — Yael Cohen

You are so annoying. I could literally slap the sh*t out of you and feel so much better. — Kourtney Kardashian