Septic Quotes & Sayings

I got a shotgun and a backhoe and no one looks under a septic tank for a dead body. (Bubba) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Is there any chance you'll quit your job so we can do this in the open?" he asked gruffly.
"I... What? Ha!" The sound escaped her in a burst of disbelief as her consciousness landed firmly back on the hard floor."
A gush of icy cheapness went through her as she absorbed the full impact of the scenario. This was what happened when you thought the grass was greener on the neighbor's lawn. Turned out it was actually an overflow of the septic tank.
She headed for the door. — Dani Collins

The Supreme Grand Master raised his arms. 'Brethren,' he said, 'let us begin . . .' It was so easy. All you had to do was channel that great septic reservoir of jealousy and cringing resentment that the Brothers had in such abundance, harness their dreadful mundane unpleasantness which had a force greater in its way than roaring evil, and then open your own mind . . . . — Terry Pratchett

I love Los Angeles, and it's been very good to me, but if everyone is running around telling the stories, who's living them? You don't play characters that are celebrities - you play guys who know what to do when their septic tank's blocked. — Matthew McConaughey

No death, no suffering. No funeral homes, abortion clinics, or psychiatric wards. No rape, missing children, or drug rehabilitation centers. No bigotry, no muggings or killings. No worry or depression or economic downturns. No wars, no unemployment. No anguish over failure and miscommunication. No con men. No locks. No death. No mourning. No pain. No boredom. No arthritis, no handicaps, no cancer, no taxes, no bills, no computer crashes, no weeds, no bombs, no drunkenness, no traffic jams and accidents, no septic-tank backups. No mental illness. No unwanted e-mails. Close friendships but no cliques, laughter but no put-downs. Intimacy, but no temptation to immorality. No hidden agendas, no backroom deals, no betrayals. Imagine mealtimes full of stories, laughter, and joy, without fear of insensitivity, inappropriate behavior, anger, gossip, lust, jealousy, hurt feelings, or anything that eclipses joy. That will be Heaven. — Randy Alcorn

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped. — Jeff Foxworthy

He also remembered a comedy he had read in his youth called "The Deluge", which claimed the next great flood would be caused not by water from the heavens but by the backing up and over flowing of all the toilets, latrines, cesspools and septic tanks in the world which would start chucking up their contents relentlessly until we all drowned in our own shit. — Andrea Camilleri

I got a big hole to dig in my back yard for my septic system. Wait a minute... where did my freinds go??? — Daren Doucet

The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his kids need special protection. I love the NRA accusing anyone of being paranoid. It's like a septic tank saying, 'You need a mint.' — Bill Maher

But when it has been shown by the researches of Pasteur that the septic property of the atmosphere depended not on the oxygen, or any gaseous constituent, but on minute organisms suspended in it, which owed their energy to their vitality, it occurred to me that decomposition in the injured part might be avoided without excluding the air, by applying as a dressing some material capable of destroying the life of the floating particles. Upon this principle I have based a practice. — Joseph Lister

I hadn't just backed up the toilet; I'd made the septic tank flood the house. — Mariana Zapata

peculiar. Allergies he expected, and that anti-septic smell never failed to make his head spin. Despite what his many Doctors would tell you, Nathan hated hospitals. Jogging through the foliage keeping — Jack Price

If only one person in the world held down a terrified, struggling, screaming little girl, cut off her genitals with a septic blade, and sewed her back up, leaving only a tiny hole for urine and menstrual flow, the only question would be how severely that person should be punished, and whether the death penalty would be a sufficiently severe sanction. But when millions of people do this, instead of the enormity being magnified millions-fold, suddenly it becomes "culture," and thereby magically becomes less, rather than more, horrible, and is even defended by some Western "moral thinkers," including feminists. — Steven Pinker

You will experience a lot of imaginings as usually is for humans although we tend to pretend that all our thoughts are septic and moral. Feel
comfortable with your thoughts. Trust me dear child, no human is spared from wild thoughts and you too will have them. Nothing should limit you my child. But the minute you decide to speak out your thinking or live them, you should be ready for the consequences too. — Gloria D. Gonsalves

By the end of a short walk, the septic tip of a cane probably collects enough germs to destroy a small city. — Charles Willeford

My life is in the toilet, Red. We're talking a serious septic tank situation. — Larissa Reinhart

[T]ry not to be too angry or disappointed with your fellow Americans. Most of them don't care about politics as much as the majority of my readers, and the education they have received about it from the government's public school system is nothing more than a septic tank full of warmed-over self-serving statist lies and leftist propaganda. — L. Neil Smith

Dense urban environments may do away with nature altogether - there are many vibrantly healthy neighborhoods in Paris or Manhattan that lack even a single tree - but they also perform the crucial service of reducing mankind's environmental footprint. Compare the sewage system of a midsized city like Portland, Oregon, with the kind of waste management resources that would be required to support the same population dispersed across the countryside. Portland's 500,000 inhabitants require two sewage treatment plants, connected by 2,000 miles of pipes. A rural population would require more than 100,000 septic tanks, and 7,000 miles of pipe. The rural waste system would be several times more expensive than the urban version. — Steven Johnson

Pride is a wound, and vanity is the scab on it. One's life picks at the scab to open the wound again and again. In men, it seldom heals and often grows septic. — Michael Ayrton

But there'll be plenty of room on Earth then because right now, what is it?-Only one-fifth of the Earth's surface is land, right? Whereas then there will be no more sea, it'll all be land, seas will be gone. The seas are the World's great septic tanks, its great cesspools, where all the waste of the World drains off into the sea. — David Berg

The idea of some people being less than people is poison to any society and needs to be named as such in order to halt its spread before it turns the soul of a society septic. — Richard Flanagan

When I recollect her, I see a long list of colors, but it's the three in which I saw her in the flesh that resonate the most. Sometimes I manage to float far above those three moments. I hang suspended, until a septic truth bleeds toward clarity.
That's when I see them formulate:
THE COLORS
RED: [rectangle]
WHITE: [circle]
BLACK: [swastika]
They fall on top of each other. The scribbled signature black, onto the blinding global white, onto the thick soupy red. — Markus Zusak

Twelve strangers," he interrupted, "twelve citizens picked off the street. In this world we're unfortunate to live in, and especially in this septic isle we live on,where squalid politicians conspire with the squalid press to feed a half-educated and wholly complacent public on a diet of meretricious trivia, I'm sure it would be possible to concoct enough evidence to persuade twelve strangers that Nelson Mandela was a cannibal. — Reginald Hill

Farraj looked at me with the clinical distaste of a chiropodist regarding a septic toenail. — Philip Kerr

But I couldn't cut that whole septic tank scene out because the audience liked it so much. So I sort of fell right back into getting a cheap laugh, but I still loved it. — Jay Roach

The grass is always greener over the septic tank. — Erma Bombeck

The truth is like a septic tank and the smell will eventually get out no matter how hard we tighten down the hatch. — George Sorbane