Septic Tank Quotes & Sayings

I got a shotgun and a backhoe and no one looks under a septic tank for a dead body. (Bubba) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Is there any chance you'll quit your job so we can do this in the open?" he asked gruffly.
"I... What? Ha!" The sound escaped her in a burst of disbelief as her consciousness landed firmly back on the hard floor."
A gush of icy cheapness went through her as she absorbed the full impact of the scenario. This was what happened when you thought the grass was greener on the neighbor's lawn. Turned out it was actually an overflow of the septic tank.
She headed for the door. — Dani Collins

I love Los Angeles, and it's been very good to me, but if everyone is running around telling the stories, who's living them? You don't play characters that are celebrities - you play guys who know what to do when their septic tank's blocked. — Matthew McConaughey

No death, no suffering. No funeral homes, abortion clinics, or psychiatric wards. No rape, missing children, or drug rehabilitation centers. No bigotry, no muggings or killings. No worry or depression or economic downturns. No wars, no unemployment. No anguish over failure and miscommunication. No con men. No locks. No death. No mourning. No pain. No boredom. No arthritis, no handicaps, no cancer, no taxes, no bills, no computer crashes, no weeds, no bombs, no drunkenness, no traffic jams and accidents, no septic-tank backups. No mental illness. No unwanted e-mails. Close friendships but no cliques, laughter but no put-downs. Intimacy, but no temptation to immorality. No hidden agendas, no backroom deals, no betrayals. Imagine mealtimes full of stories, laughter, and joy, without fear of insensitivity, inappropriate behavior, anger, gossip, lust, jealousy, hurt feelings, or anything that eclipses joy. That will be Heaven. — Randy Alcorn

My life is in the toilet, Red. We're talking a serious septic tank situation. — Larissa Reinhart

The truth is like a septic tank and the smell will eventually get out no matter how hard we tighten down the hatch. — George Sorbane

The grass is always greener over the septic tank. — Erma Bombeck

But I couldn't cut that whole septic tank scene out because the audience liked it so much. So I sort of fell right back into getting a cheap laugh, but I still loved it. — Jay Roach

[T]ry not to be too angry or disappointed with your fellow Americans. Most of them don't care about politics as much as the majority of my readers, and the education they have received about it from the government's public school system is nothing more than a septic tank full of warmed-over self-serving statist lies and leftist propaganda. — L. Neil Smith

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped. — Jeff Foxworthy

I hadn't just backed up the toilet; I'd made the septic tank flood the house. — Mariana Zapata

The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his kids need special protection. I love the NRA accusing anyone of being paranoid. It's like a septic tank saying, 'You need a mint.' — Bill Maher