Famous Quotes & Sayings

Section 8 Funny Quotes & Sayings

Enjoy reading and share 15 famous quotes about Section 8 Funny with everyone.

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Google+ Pinterest Share on Linkedin

Top Section 8 Funny Quotes

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Bauvard

Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers. — Bauvard

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Kaje Harper

We need to shop," Paul said, peering over his shoulder.
"True. We should do it together." [ ... ]"We can hold up cucumbers in the produce section and make suggestive gestures at each other with them. — Kaje Harper

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Demetri Martin

Whenever I see an autobiography for sale in the book store i just flip to the about the author section. I'm like, "Done, next!" — Demetri Martin

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Anne Carson

What is a quote? A quote (cognate with quota) is a cut, a section, a slice of someone's orange. You suck the slice, toss the rind, skate away. — Anne Carson

Section 8 Funny Quotes By O. Henry

Why, I've seen Kentuckians who hated whiskey, Virginians who weren't descended from Pocahontas, Indianians who hadn't written a novel, Mexicans who didn't wear velvet trousers with silver dollars sewed along the seams, funny Englishmen, spendthrift Yankees, cold-blooded Southerners, narrow- minded Westerners, and New Yorkers who were too busy to stop for an hour on the street to watch a one-armed grocer's clerk do up cranberries in paper bags. Let a man be a man and don't handicap him with the label of any section. — O. Henry

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Pippa DaCosta

And there's no synthetic owners manual?" His lips twitched, smile threatening to break into a grin.

A joke. He wasn't funny. "Do you come with an owners' manual, Captain? Because I'd like to study your troubleshooting section."

"Would you like to strip me down to my nuts and bolts, and figure out what makes me tick?"

"I knew what made you tick from the moment we first met. That's why I punched you between the legs."

~ #1001 & Caleb — Pippa DaCosta

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Chic Murray

I felt as out of place as a left-handed violinist in a crowded string section. — Chic Murray

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Tina Fey

The wildly drunk man from the cabin next door to ours is in front of me in the crowd. He's so drunk that he's standing in the women-and-children section. He complains loudly that this is boring and that we are a bunch of assholes. When a clearly terrified woman blurts out, "Please, sir, be quiet," he sways for a second and then lets out a long "Shuuuuut uuuuuuuup" that is funny not just because of its Jackie Gleason-style delivery but also because of its inappropriateness in a situation where we're all probably going to die. — Tina Fey

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield

My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section. — Rodney Dangerfield

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Frankie Boyle

A 66-YEAR-OLD woman has become the oldest new mum in Britain after giving birth to a baby boy. I'm amazed she needed to have a caesarean section though, you'd think at 66 she would have needed some masking tape down there just to stop it falling out. — Frankie Boyle

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Roald Dahl

There are many other little refinements too, Mr. Bohlen. You'll see them all when you study the plans carefully. For example, there's a trick that nearly every writer uses, of inserting at least one long, obscure word into each story. This makes the reader think that the man is very wise and clever. So I have the machine do the same thing. There'll be a whole stack of long words stored away just for this purpose."
In the 'word-memory' section," he said, epexegetically. — Roald Dahl

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Chad Harbach

Heat radiated off Henry's face. Salty snot ran down his upper lip. A majestic fart propelled him to the top of Section 12, just at the springing of the stadium's curve. He slapped the sign as if high-fiving a teamate. It gave back a game shudder. He was crusing now, darkness be damned, stripping off his sweatshirt and his long underwear top without breaking stride. — Chad Harbach

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Shea Serrano

A fast note about Ice-T's autobiography: There's a section where he tells a story about hanging out with Flavor Flav that involves going to Red Lobster in a Ferrari. I suspect the phrase "going to Red Lobster in a Ferrari" is the most accurate description of Flavor Flav anyone will ever come up with. — Shea Serrano

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Margaret Atwood

Andrea writes for a newspaper. "This is for the Living section," she says. I know what that means, it used to be the Women's Pages. It's funny that they now call it Living, as if only women are alive and the other things, such as the Sports, are for the dead. — Margaret Atwood

Section 8 Funny Quotes By Curtis Sittenfeld

Once I had asked, 'But are you a Democrat or a Republican?" and Jonathan said, "I'm socially progressive but fiscally conservative," and Doug Miles, a football player who also came to Sunday breakfast but only ever read the sports section and ignored everyone, lifted his head and said, "Is that like being bisexual?" Which I actually thought was funny, even though I was pretty sure Doug was a jerk. — Curtis Sittenfeld