Score Funny Quotes & Sayings

Marcus couldn't believe it. Dead. A dead duck. OK, he'd been trying to hit it on the head with a piece of sandwich, but he tried to do all sorts of things, and none of them had ever happened before. He'd tried to get the highest score on the Stargazer machine in the kabab shop on Hornsey road - nothing. He'd tried to read Nicky's thoughts by staring at the back of his head every maths lesson for a week - nothing. It really annoyed him that the only thing he'd ever achieved through trying was something he hadn't really wanted to do that much in the first place. And anyway, since when did hitting a bird with a sandwich ever kill it? People spend half their lives throwing things at the ducks in Regent's Park. How come he managed to pick a duck that pathetic? — Nick Hornby

Sailing is just the bottom line, like adding up the score in bridge. My real interest is in the tremendous game of life. — Dennis Conner

They'll score if they can just get into the endzone. — John Madden

After Michael Jordan had scored a play-off record 69 points - I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points. — Stacey King

Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher I ever saw. He always pitches when the other team doesn't score any runs. — Tim McCarver

Yeah," Tamara said. "An old bowling alley. There must be a town not too far from here. But how could Aaron be there? And don't say something like 'working on his score' or 'maybe he's in a bowling league' or something like that. Be serious."
Call leaned against the rough bark of a nearby tree and resisted the urge to sit down. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to get up again. "I'm serious. It might be hard to tell in the dark, but I have my most super-serious face on. — Cassandra Clare

I'd stand on the street corner and score a steak," Cas said.
I couldn't help laughing. "You know, you might be flooded with business."
His mouth stretched into a lecherous grin. "If you come with me we could be rich by morning."
"Very funny. — Jennifer Rush

Wasn't it thrilling when the U.S. Women's team took home the gold in gymnastics? A group of American teenagers getting a higher score than Chinese kids? That never happens. — Jay Leno

Orgasms are a myth. Like good credit scores. — Kelly Moran

This is Glesca ... Any time you're confused, take a wee minute to remind yourself of that inescapable fact: this is Glesca. We don't do subtle, we don't do nuanced, we don't do conspiracy. We do pish-heid bampot bludgeoning his girlfriend to death in a fit of paranoid rage induced by forty-eight hours straight on the batter. We do coked-up neds jumping on a guy's heid outside a nightclub because he looked at them funny. We do drug-dealing gangster rockets shooting other drug-dealing gangster rockets as comeback for something almost identical a fortnight ago. We do bam-on-bam. We do tit-for-tat, score-settling, feuds, jealousy, petty revenge. We do straightforward. We do obvious. We do cannaemisswhodunit. When you hear hoofbeats on Sauchiehall Street, it's gaunny be a horse, no' a zebra ... '. — Christopher Brookmyre

Maybe you should get a very large life insurance policy on the next husband," Lily suggested slurping her coffee loudly. "You know, before he makes an ash of himself."
"Very funny, but don't think I haven't thought of it. It's an unpredictable way to score more rental properties, but I do seem to be good at burying men. — Tracy Brogan

As a youngster, my mother and father always drilled into my head having something to fall back on. My father was kind of funny. I'd score 40 points. I'd come home and say, 'Look dad, I scored 40.' He'd never have a smile on his face. He'd be like, 'I saw that move you did. What if you'd hurt your knee?' — Shaquille O'Neal

I thought LeBron James was just going to be another addition to help me score — Ricky Davis

Ish #303 It's a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating. — Regina Griffin

After an hour the score was:
Quancita - 34
Radiz - 51
Sally - froglegs
Perla - 9 and 21
Me - hoo-hoo-hooo — Joel N. Ross

A lady named Maude let me in the back,' he said. 'She's a firecracker, that one. Told me she's knitting trivets as a wild change of pace from scarves. If you're keeping score, that means changing from a rectangle all the way to a square. — Heather Cocks