Quotes & Sayings About Sarcasm For Life

I thought the line 'I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska' was very funny. I think the word is 'sarcasm.' In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life. — Andrea Fay Friedman

I was the sibling that kind of kept it all on a level when life at home got tough. I did it through comedy, sarcasm and distraction. All families are complicated, but my home life was glaringly uncomfortable much of the time, and it was me that took the onus. — Johnny Galecki

Coincidences are like unicorns.you can believe in them all you want,but that doesn't make them real — Mary Elizabeth Summer

Clearly, she hadn't heard of the two words 'social' and 'life'. — Adele Rose

A man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything. — E.A. Bucchianeri

Is he safe?" I whispered as soon as the baker was out of earshot.

"I very much doubt it," Hal said in a low voice.

I frowned. "You're meant to say 'yes, I'd trust him with my life.' That sort of thing. Something reassuring."

He blinked twice at me. "I beg your pardon. Next time I'll read between your very vague lines, and lie. Will that make you happy? — Mirriam Neal

Come on," Alec said, already stomping down the ramp. "Let's find us a squirrel." He swept the weapon back and forth as he walked, looking for any interlopers. "Or better yet, one of the crazies who might've strayed over here. Too bad these things have to be charged or we could get rid of this virus problem in a jiffy. Sweep these old neighborhoods nice and clean."
Mark joined him on the ground below the Berg, wary that someone might be watching from the ruined homes surrounding them or from the burnt woods beyond those. "Your value of human life brings tears to my eyes," he muttered. — James Dashner

She was a sarcastic bitch and when she was pissed off the sarcasm took on a life of it's own. — Suzanne Wrightt

I've been surrounded by nitwits my entire life. — Chelsea Ballinger

That's a good attitude. You should hate me more, curse me more, and detest me! Then you should take the power of that hatred and use it to survive this rotten world. — Hideaki Sorachi

High School. Society's bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to torment and emotionally scar each other for life. — Chris Colfer

Now, Mr. Antonio. I understand that there are people who are close to you who want me dead."
"No, mija. They don't want you dead."
"Then explain this." I handed him the picture.
He chuckled again.
"No, they don't want you dead. That would be too easy. They want revenge."
Cold sweat broke out all over me, but I kept my face calm. I looked at him straight in the eye.
"Well, then they are going to be quite disappointed, aren't they?" I flashed my teeth at him.
"Senorita, you might want to warn Senor Smith, you see, my nephew he doesn't like to share, and if he sees another man after you, he'll get very, eh, aggressive." The silver fox looked at me and winked.
"Oh, he won't have to worry." I said as I was walking out the door. "I doubt he will be alive long enough to know Agent Smith."
Then I slammed the door. — Rumi Antoinette

I have a headache. If only I had a crown to put on! — Ljupka Cvetanova

There are a few things that even sarcasm can't protect you from. — Diana Peterfreund

Well, how do we get out of this place?" Evyette's voice shaking slightly.
"We can't." If Kaleb felt any hopelessness he wasn't conveying it. He looked around arduously, "Unless we find someone willing to help us."
"Oh well, that should not be a problem at all," Tristan retorted throwing his hands up, "considering everything so far has tried to kill us! — B.C. Morin

So you thought you could shit and eat at the same time. How disgustingly convenient. — Nenia Campbell

Reality Sucks, I want my dreams back. — Sandra Chami Kassis

My condolences, you're still alive. — Fakeer Ishavardas

Behind every successful woman is a hungry man. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there's nothing more touching to a mother's heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly. — David C. Holley

Sam glanced at him. "Feeling sorry for yourself, are you? I suppose you're allowed. I mean, look at how bloody awful your life is."
"Sarcasm doesn't become you," Griffin retorted. — Kady Cross

She wished she had a set of greeting cards at the ready, but Hallmark probably didn't make any that said Thank you for giving up your life so that me and my friends could escape! It was SO appreciated. XOXO! — Gina Damico

So we passed, handcuffed and in silence, through the streets of Washington, through the Captial of a nation, whose theory of government, we are told, rests on the foundation of man's inalienable right to life, LIBERTY, and the pursuit of happiness! Hail! Columbia, happy land, indeed! — Solomon Northup

Here is a man whose life and actions the world has already condemned - yet whose enormous fortune ... has already brought him acquittal! — Marcus Tullius Cicero

The poorest paid architect, engineer, general, author, sculptor, painter, lecturer, advocate, legislator, actor, preacher, singer is constructively in heaven when he is at work; and as for the musician with the fiddle-bow in his hand who sits in the midst of a great orchestra with the ebbing and flowing tides of divine sound washing over him
why, certainly, he is at work, if you wish to call it that, but lord, it's a sarcasm just the same. — Mark Twain

I'm not bipolar, I've just had a bipolar life foisted upon me. — Daniel O'Malley

You like? she asked Slade. He gave her a head nod and she vanished behind the curtain.
That's my sister, he said, pointing at the closed curtain.
I shrugged. I'm glad you guys are so close. — Holly Hood

Satan impregnated my mother one lovely spring morning. We didn't have the heart to tell my father. — Holly Hood

I have a theory that as human beings get older, chemicals are released into the brain to prepare us for the end. Sort of like how the nurse lubes your ass up before the anus-cam. It makes the whole thing a lot easier to swallow. Easier, not enjoyable. — Kris D'Agostino

While you were out JUDGING others, you left your closet door open...and guess what fell out!....Ooops — Karen Gibbs

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half. — Jess C. Scott

Some of us are looking at the stars, but all of us are living in the gutter. — Vann Chow

No one referred to
Fearghus the Destroyer as the life of anyone's party. — G.A. Aiken

Was she on some sort of Candid Camera version of This is Your Sucky Love Life? — Nicki Elson

Life has a whimsical way of kicking you in the throat. I find it to
be one huge cosmic joke at our expense, only nobody is laughing
but the forces that be - given that they are even a wee bit human. — Lori Goldson

Is my life, by any chance, about to take a new turn? — Jonas Jonasson

Sarcasm and compassion are two of the qualities that make life on Earth tolerable. — Nick Hornby

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!" — Eddie Izzard

Life's a party. So smile and eat shit and pretend it's fucking caviar. — Nenia Campbell

- Why did blondes vote for Clinton?
- They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious! — Bryanna Reid

He explained civilization to me. I mean how it looks to him. He's going to let it go on a little while longer. But it better be careful and not interfere with his private life. If it does, he's apt to make a phone call to God and cancel the order. — Raymond Chandler

My new 9mm didn't fit my hand as well as my old one, but it was rapidly becoming a familiar weight. At first I'd decided it was okay to wear as long as I shot only at supernatural bad guys who were already shooting at me. Lately, I'd had to broaden that definition to anytime my life was in danger. I was currently leaning toward a slightly more comprehensive rule somewhere between proactive self-defense and the-bastards-had-it-coming, which, if I survived long enough, I intended to blame on my deranged partner rubbing off on me. — Karen Chance

I wish there was some method to transform all the agony in my imprudent heart to an energy source. It would have lit up the world till eternity!!! — Alcatraz Dey

people don't generally believe themselves to be evil. Just strong. And they think that the world owes them something — Mary Elizabeth Summer

The Squire's life was quite as idle as his sons', but it was a fiction kept up by himself and his contemporaries in Raveloe that youth was exclusively the period of folly, and that their aged wisdom was constantly in a state of endurance mitigated by sarcasm. — George Eliot

There's nothing like a headless corpse to bring a touch of excitement into one's life. — Chet Williamson

There are no commitments, only bargains. And they have to be made again every day. You think making a commitment is it. Finish. You think it sets like a concrete platform and it'll take any strain you want to put on it. You're committed. You don't have to prove anything. In fact you can afford a little neglect, indulge in a little bit of sarcasm here and there, isolate yourself when you want to. Underneath it's concrete for life. I'm a cow in some ways, but you're an idiot. — Tom Stoppard

Costin regained his serious tone but his eyes softened.
"I won't force you into anything Sally. I know this is all different to you. I've known all my life that I had one perfect mate out there for me. And when I look at you, I'm in awe of what I've been given." Sally blushed as he paused. "I won't leave you unprotected, and allowing other males around you is something that neither I, nor my wolf, will be able to handle. Besides," he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief, "how could you not want to be around all this?"
Sally let out a snort. "You've been around Jen way too much."
"I don't know, she's quite educational."
"Yeah, I don't think I really want you to be educated by her. — Quinn Loftis

Past misdeeds must only serve as a reference point in calm conversation about lessons learned or actions that taught us to behave better. They should never be bantered about with sarcasm, anger, or nastiness. — Cathy Burnham Martin

This is about as far as I can go without some sarcasm creeping in. But before it does, I must say, with utmost sincerity, that your cookies are good enough to bring some of these wax statues back to life. Thanks for that. I once made corn muffins for a fourth-grade project on Williamsburg and they came out like baseballs. So I'm not sure how to reciprocate ... but, believe me, I shall. — Rachel Cohn

What does your birth date say about you? You are old! — Ljupka Cvetanova

I had become wiser, I tried to find out what irony really is, and discovered that some ancient writer on poetry had spoken of "Ironia, which we call the drye mock." And I cannot think of a better term for it: The drye mock. Not sarcasm, which is like vinegar, or cynicism, which is so often the voice of disappointed idealism, but a delicate casting of cool and illuminating light on life, and thus an enlargement. The ironist is not bitter, he does not seek to undercut everything that seems worthy or serious, he scorns the cheap scoring-off of the wisecracker. He stands, so to speak, somewhat at one side, observes and speaks with a moderation which is occasionally embellished with a flash of controlled exaggeration. He speaks from a certain depth, and thus he is not of the same nature as the wit, who so often speaks from the tongue and no deeper. The wit's desire is to be funny; the ironist is only funny as a secondary achievement. — Robertson Davies

By rights, satire is a lonely and introspective occupation, for nobody can describe a fool to the life without much patient self-inspection. — Frank Moore Colby

I think you people are just marvelous," she said in a dramatic manner, closing her eyes for a moment.

"You know, sometimes I hear the Great Spirit calling to me. Perhaps I was a squaw in my last life. My family would never talk about it when I was growing up, but I'm pretty sure my great-grandmother was a real Cherokee princess. Are you Cherokee, by any chance?"

"Cherokee to the bone, ma'am," Luther replied, giving Jimmy a wink.

"Oh, I knew it when I laid eyes on you," she responded and turned to Jimmy. "Are you also Cherokee?"

"No, ma'am. I wanted to be but I didn't have the grades to get in."

"Oh, you poor dear," the woman said, reaching over to pat him on the arm. — Robert Owings

1. Do what you say you're gonna do
2. Show up!
3. Give genuine praise whenever you can
4. Never say sorry when you don't mean it
5. Never use sarcasm in email (and use the corny ass emoticons) — Matthew Lasar

-"This is incredible Ryn. It is. But-"
-"No." He turns around. "No buts. You think I'm going to hurt you? You think I'm going to get bored and run off with some Undergrounder the first chance I get? You obviously have no idea how amazing you are. You, Violet Fairdale, are incredible, and I want you. Every part of you. I want your stubbornness and your sarcasm and your competitive spirit. I want you challenging me and fighting beside me. I want to hold you and kiss you and so much more because there's no one else in the world who knows me like you do. You have always been the one for me, even when we couldn't stand each other. You're beautiful and hot and sexy all at once, and you're more intelligent than any girl I've met. I love the fact that I've known you all my life. It just feels right when you're beside me. It feel like I've been lost in the desert for years, and ... I've finally come home. — Rachel Morgan

Think people really want to know what's out there?"
"Probably not. People don't know what they want, Evelyn, or life wouldn't suck — Lizzy Ford

never use sarcasm in an email — Matthew Lasar

If you didn't have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn't be any fire in your life at all. — Joe Hill

Marriage is always something of a compromise, as I'm sure you're now aware. Any long-term relationship is - and one does have to see it in the long term, Charles. No, I expect your mother and myself will never divorce. It's uneconomic and, at my age, usually unnecessary. — Martin Amis

No zek had the right to stay one second in his workroom without the supervision of a free employee because prudence dictated that the prisoner would be bound to use that unsupervised second to break into the steel safe with a lead pencil, photograph its secret documents with a trouser button, explode an atom bomb, and fly to the moon. — Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. — P.G. Wodehouse

Sarcasm is weird. Even not in acting, in life I feel like 'sarcastic' is a word that people use to describe me sometimes so when I meet someone, it's almost like they feel like they have to also be sarcastic, but it can sometimes just come off as mean if it's not used in the right way. — Aubrey Plaza

I know a lie when I hear one. — Adrian Mitchell