Sales Humor Quotes & Sayings

Some people will tell you that honesty is the best policy, but I disagree. In instances like this, I fully believe that feigned ignorance is the best policy. — Leila Sales

Honestly, Elise, sometimes it's like you don't even go to this school.' 'Well, that is the goal,' I said. — Leila Sales

It's medieval," Marcus said. "You might as well walk down the street in a suit of armor. — Tiffany Reisz

Actually, I have my own charity that I started that helps supplement families with terminal children. — Brad Garrett

If you go out to bat against Australia, they come at you hard. — Andrew Flintoff

Those are pretty much the only questions people ask Colonials. If they want you to tell them anything else, just make it up. They will believe you, because you are wearing a costume. — Leila Sales

I wonder what sound a breaking heart makes? — Yuri Olyesha

I think that God's got a sick sense of humour, and when I die I expect to find him laughing. — Music Sales Corporation

Aren't fairy godmothers supposed to be nice and make you feel better about yourself?
... No, you're confusing fairy godmothers with sales clerks. — Janette Rallison

People will buy anything at jumble sales,' I said. 'At the Evacuated Children Charity Fair a woman bought a tree branch that had fallen on the table. — Connie Willis

As she did, someone else poked his head in. Rafe.
"Maya?" He looked at the other two, then me. "Can we talk?"
"Rather not."
He lowered his voice. "Please?"
"Later," I said. "Just not tonight. Okay?"
He nodded and retreated.
"Sorry about that," I said when he was gone. "Inconveniently timed relationship angst."
"Relationship?" Chloe looked from me to the now-empty doorway. "You and Rafe? Oh, I thought ... " She trailed off and shook her head. "Never mind. So you were saying - "
"I thought you were with Daniel," Derek cut in.
Chloe gave him a look as I inwardly flinched. — Kelley Armstrong

Un-Christian behavior on the part of any Christian is a disgrace to all Christians. — F.F. Bruce

For God's sake take care that your judgment does not deceive you. Why, I pray you, do you call false, things which the whole of antiquity has held as articles of faith? Why do you not rather censure your fancies which will not embrace the doctrine of these books, than censure these books which have been received for so long a time because they do not jump with your humor? Because you will not believe what the books teach, you condemn it; why do you not rather condemn your presumption which is incredulous to their teaching? — Francis De Sales

Psychic change, as Todorov has recognized, subverted the genre in another way, by revoking the cultural taboos, the social censorship, that had prohibited the overt treatment of psychosexual themes, which then found covert expression in the supernatural tale. 'There is no need today to resort to the devil [or to posthumous reverie] in order to speak of excessive sexual desire, and none to resort to vampires in order to designate the attraction exerted by corpses: psychoanalysis, and the literature which is directly or indirectly inspired by it, deal with these matters in undisguised terms. The themes of fantastic literature have become, literally, the very themes of the psychological investigations of the last fifty years. — Howard Kerr

A tip for increased sales or in situations of life or death: Try to always refer to the lady as Miss. or Ms. Using the term: Ma'am could piss her off. — Ginnetta Correli

I feel like a lot of funders of documentaries today want to fund films that have a social message that is going to yield results. — Marshall Curry

B National Pride - Is located on top of the head, under the hair, and for this and other reasons may be difficult to detect.
C Mouth - Is used for the intake of food and drink, and, to some extent, for talking. (See: Norwegian Conversations (Do they occur?)).
G Craving for Freedom - Located in the heart.
H Right Hand - Open, ready to accept friendship and/or sales contracts. — Odd Borretzen

If a 6 foot tall talking Badger comes to your door with a great deal on health insurance, be certain to ask if it includes in-patient psychiatric care. — David C. Holley

City and country
each has its own beauty and its own pain. Some of the smallness of small towns
cattiness, everybody knowing everybody's business
that can be challenging. And cities can be challenging, because no one can connect except electronically. — William P. Young

Humor can give you the edge you are looking for. — Jeffrey Gitomer

You can take and nail two sticks together like they've never been nailed together before and some fool will buy it. — George Carlin

When you employ HUMOR, you create a friendly, relaxed buying atmosphere. — Jeffrey Gitomer

The adventure is over. Everything gets over, and nothing is ever enough. Except the part you carry with you. It's the same as going on a vacation. Some people spend all their time on a vacation taking pictures so that when they get home they can show their friends evidence that they had a good time. They don't pause to let the vacation enter inside of them and take that home. — E.L. Konigsburg

I'm sorry for screwing everything up. I hurt you again, and for that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't want to do that anymore. So ... I'm not going to stay
for the wedding. I'm just going to take off now. I won't see you again, not for a long time. Probably for the best. Being near you like this, it hurts. And
Jere" - Conrad cleared his throat and stepped backward, making space between us - "he's the one who needs you."
Hoarsely, he said, "I need you to know that no matter what happens, it was worth it to me. Being with you, loving you. It was all worth it — Jenny Han

When I see Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity baying across the television screen, I find it hard to take them seriously. I assume that they must be saying what they do primarily to boost book sales or ratings, although I do wonder who would spend their precious evenings with such sourpusses. — Barack Obama

The basic paradox about sex is that it always seems to be offering more than it can deliver. A glimpse of a girl undressing through a lighted bedroom window induces a vision of ecstatic delight, but in the actual process of persuading the girl into bed, the vision somehow evaporates. — Colin Wilson

Humor is the foundation of reconciliation. — Saint Francis De Sales

How are you?"
"Perfectly fine," he said.
"Are your ribs broken?"
"Probably not. Cracked at most. We fought very carefully."
"Did this settle anything?"
"It made me feel better," he said, sitting up. "Did you see me kick him in the kidneys?"
"I saw. — Ilona Andrews

Sally and Chava eat only raw vegetables for lunch because they are trying to lose weight. Then they split a pack of Entenmann's doughnuts for dessert. — Leila Sales

When People in sales are at work, they are at war. — Honeya

My mullet was an insecurity shield. My mullet was an ethnic hatchet. My mullet was an arrow on fire.
My mullet said to the literary world, Hello, you privileged prep-school assholes, I'm here to steal your thunder, lightning, and book sales. — Sherman Alexie