Robin Williams Jokes Quotes & Sayings

Ellen walks past the lobby in her high heels, stops in her tracks, and turns back around to face Zack.
She points at Marvin. "Is that a goat?"
Zack nods once. "Yes, ma'am."
"In my lobby?"
"Yes, ma'am. But he's a friendly goat."
Ellen plasters on a polite smile. "I don't care if he's a tap-dancing goat. I want him out of here. — Chelsea Fine

It was in vain for Madame Defarge to struggle and to strike; Miss Pross, with the vigorous tenacity of love, always so much stronger than hate, clasped her tight, and even lifted her from the floor in the struggle that they had. — Charles Dickens

What you are today is the choice you made yesterday. — Tsem Tulku

It is not opinions that man needs: it is TRUTH. It is not theology; it is God. It is not religion: it is Christ. It is not literature and science; but the knowledge of the free love of God in the gift of His only-begotten Son. — Horatius Bonar

Friendship is the union of spirits, a marriage of hearts, and the bond thereof virtue — William Penn

At last there came the reward for patience, her tremendous inhalation broken into six separate fragments, her whole body listening to itself then, finding, being certain, and then taking with hunger. Later she lay curled languid against my chest, her heart and breathing slow. "Wasn't too soon," she said, a blurred drone. "No, it wasn't." "Sweet," she said. "Ver' sweet." And she nestled down into the sleep of total exhaustion. — John D. MacDonald

Even evangelicals realize that Pinocchio's father was a carpenter too. That's the old joke. — Robin Williams

Robin Williams is great; it's just like having a conversation when you're doing a scene with him really. It's just so relaxed on the set whenever he's around. Also he's just always telling jokes; he's always on. It must be funny for him though because he must think everyone's brain goes so much slower than his. He's working overtime on all these different ideas that pop into his head. Everyone else must feel miles behind! — Freddie Highmore

Controlling unwanted thoughts is not the problem. Believing, thrusting, and taking direction from them is. — Charles F. Glassman

The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction. — Robin Williams

I look in the mirror every morning, okay. What is going on here? You know, I just say, 'Look, it's sheer insanity.' — Si Robertson

Even when there are banalities, they're usually kind of benign banalities. — Michael McKean

Cry lots, sweetness, but don't cry long.
- Gavin Taylor — Kary Rader

She knows what it means. Oh, wonderfully bright at 6 a.m., yes, wonderfully clear for an hour. But the shorter the days, the longer the nights, the darker the house, the easier it is, the easier it is, the easier it is, to mistake a shadow for the writing on the wall, the sound of overland footsteps for the distant crack of thunder, and the midnight chime of a New Year clock for the bell that tolls the end of the world. — Zadie Smith