Redneck Quotes & Sayings

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge. — Jeff Foxworthy

Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication — Jeff Foxworthy

You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture. — Jeff Foxworthy

Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that's going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks. — Robin Williams

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it. — Jeff Foxworthy

Yes, peasants," he repeated slowly. "The lowliest of the low among humans." Then he enunciated, "Exceedingly backward and vulgar hillbillies."
"Been called worse, mister." At his raised brows, she exhaled impatiently. "Bootlegger, moonshiner, Elly May Clampett, mountain mama, redneck, backwoods Bessie, hick, trailer trash, yokel, and, more recently, death-row con."
"No references to mining? I'm disappointed. — Kresley Cole

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by. — Jeff Foxworthy

Let's all sing the redneck national anthem: Settle for what you can get. — Barbara Kingsolver

I believe a family just isn't complete without skeletons. My dearest momma clean bit off my daddy's nose right around the time they divorced. — Cole Alpaugh

What this world needs is a few more Rednecks — Charlie Daniels

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up. — Jeff Foxworthy

I'm against gun control. It's not that I like guns, it's just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other's heads off. — Bobcat Goldthwait

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck — Jeff Foxworthy

Southern girls are God's gift to the entire male population. There is absolutely no woman finer than one raised below the mason-dixon line and once you go southern may the good Lord help you - you never go back — Kenny Chesney

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it. — Jeff Foxworthy

She doesn't fall for my redneck-Romeo shit. You know her though, it's Alyssa Blair — Shyloh Morgan

You think all I can do is frog legs? I got Legs on my mind, alright, but yours. I'll do whatever it takes the save the ass on top of 'em and everything else, you hear me? — A. Violet End

I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park. — Larry The Cable Guy

Is it too redneck to say you look sexy operating a radio? Chase.. — Kristen Simmons

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if ... you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police! — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car. — Jeff Foxworthy

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events. — Jeff Foxworthy

How is a redneck divorce similar to a tornado?
You know that somewhere, somehow, someone is gonna lose a trailer. — Jeff Foxworthy

There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars." — Larry The Cable Guy

Get in here and make me some dinner - now, woman."
"News flash, Michael, you're supposed to be evil, not redneck! — Rachel Caine

I don't know any redneck that's not into fun. That's their middle name: Red-Fun-Neck. — Si Robertson

People look at you, and they've got just the perfect little box for you, the perfect category. Call you a redneck. Call you a hillbilly. Like those were insults. — Travis Tritt

He had been hurt doing everything he had ever done. He expected it, even wanted it. Nothing centered a man like pain. Nothing drove the irrelevant bullshit our of your mind like the taste of your own blood. Duffy always wanted to tell people who were worried about the future of their children, or about God and the order of the universe, to go out and break a rib or two. A few broken ribs threw all thoughts of children, God and the order of the universe right out the window. Nobody with broken ribs ever had free-floating anxiety, or so Duffy was convinced. It was cheaper that a psychiatrist and never so humiliating. — Harry Crews

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard. — Jeff Foxworthy

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. — Jeff Foxworthy

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank. — Jeff Foxworthy

I consider Memphis to be a cultural center, and I think that if you put a giant redneck hub in the middle of it, you're going to dilute all of that," said Christian Dalton, 20, a worker at Real 2 Reel, an art gallery on the hip South Main Street. "But I think it's better than having a giant empty paperweight downtown. — Anonymous

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids. — Jeff Foxworthy

When in doubt, figure it out. That's the redneck way. — Jase Robertson

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade. — Jeff Foxworthy

Im not a redneck, Im from Texas. — Chris Kyle

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind. — Jeff Foxworthy

Thomas Sowell is America's foremost public intellectual and for good reason. His work covers almost every subject imaginable- race, economics, Marxism, ethnic groups, immigration patterns, just to name a few. He is persuasive and provocative and always scintillating. I've read all his books and never been even faintly disappointed. Black Rednecks & White Liberals is no exception. — Fred Barnes

Most of us had never seen a sober redneck before, and we have the Reagan Landslide to testify that none of us ever wants to see one again. It was a horrifying apparition. And ever since Jimmy Carter, all of us rednecks have had to be very careful to be drunk rednecks lest we turn into some kind of awful creature with big buck teeth and a State Department full of human-rights yahoos. — P. J. O'Rourke

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture. — Jeff Foxworthy

For all his apologies, the convict Esau Davis was just a low-level toilet scrubber without the sense that God gave a goat. If she could get to a pistol or a shotgun or a hammer or a screwdriver, Caddy Colson would go all redneck on his ass and tear him a new asshole. That's the way she was feeling, sitting there in the front seat of his shitty old truck, muffler rattling loose and wild, while he took Kleenex to his bleeding eye and talked about old times with Jamey Dixon like he thought they could still be friends after all this shit went down. — Ace Atkins

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in. — Jeff Foxworthy

I don't think I'm a good ol' boy. Honestly, the last thing I am is a redneck. I like silk sheets, fancy cars, beautiful women, good whiskey. — Joe Jamail

When you were a teenager in Colorado, the way to be a punk rocker was to rip on Reagan and Bush and what they were doing and talk about how everyone in Colorado's a redneck with a gun and all this stuff. — Trey Parker

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light — Jeff Foxworthy

If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

The enemy of the black is not the white. The enemy of capitalist is not communist, the enemy of homosexual is not heterosexual, the enemy of Jew is not Arab, the enemy of youth is not the old, the enemy of hip is not redneck, the enemy of Chicano is not gringo and the enemy of women is not men. We all have the same enemy. The enemy is the tyranny of the dull mind. The enemy is every expert who practices technocratic manipulation, the enemy is every proponent of standardization and the enemy is every victim who is so dull and lazy and weak as to allow himself to be manipulated and standardized. — Tom Robbins

She lives in a town of sorry history,
indifferent to ethical perspectives,
apathetic to female attributes,
cargo and trunk liners,
spilled oil in the garage,
telephone poles shaped like liquor bottles,
sustaining burly weather,
cardiac distressing cold,
tobacco and mortality,
lying face-up on the bar's concrete floor,
no one can waste a life
faster than a Montana redneck. — Brian D'Ambrosio

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded. — Jeff Foxworthy

'WASP' is the only ethnic term that is in fact a term of class, apart from redneck, which is another word for the same group but who are in the lower social strata, so it's inexplicably tied up with social standing and culture and history in a way that the other hyphenations just are not. — Christopher Hitchens

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event. — Jeff Foxworthy

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. — Jeff Foxworthy

Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America. — Jon Stewart

I'd breed a little liberal army in the wood, just like these redneck lunatics I see at the local bar with their tribe of mutant inbred piglets. — Lou Reed

You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap. — Jeff Foxworthy

The grand irony, however, is that Southern segregation was not brought to an end, nor redneck violence dramatically reduced, by violence. — Stanley Crouch

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

Larry the Cable Guy has signed a deal with Cracker Barrel. Not the store. He signed a deal with a barrel full of angry rednecks. — Andy Kindler

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland. — Jeff Foxworthy

My long hair just can't cover up my redneck. — David Allan Coe

You might be a redneck if ... Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard. — Jeff Foxworthy

Elvis lived here until thirteen and nobody can really take that from us! — Henry Dodge

I always wore cowboy boots and drove a truck, and talked like this. So everywhere I would go in comedy people would say, "Foxworthy, you ain't nothing but a redneck from Georgia!" It kind of became a formula joke. — Jeff Foxworthy

How funny is it that so many professors labeled Tea Partiers as terrorists, while kissing the asses of real, bona fide terrorists? It's not funny, really. But it's the result of a simple equation: One is cool, and the other isn't. Own a gun and keep it by your bed in your remote farmhouse? You're a redneck. Purchase guns that end up killing a judge? Priceless. As long as you cling to cool, progressive beliefs that deem America evil, whatever you do is cool. And if you do it under a big fuzzy 'fro? Even cooler. Hell, if you 'fro is big enough, you could nuke an orphanage and still get tenure. — Greg Gutfeld

If you watch the 'Blue Collar Tour,' I was probably the least redneck of everybody. — Bill Engvall

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men. — Jeff Foxworthy

I'm planning to go redneck chic with the wedding," Maddy announced, looking through the racks of dresses.
"What the hell is that?"
"Redneck chic is a nice way of saying I have bad taste, but I'm embracing it."
Sizing up Maddy's blonde girl next door beauty, I found her dressed normal. "Bad taste how? Is this about Tucker because, yeah, I see it?"
Maddy rolled her blue eyes then walked to the next rack. "Tucker is gorgeous. He's the classiest part of my life."
Nearby, Raven burst into laughter to the point of nearly pissing herself. I didn't blame her since we'd all seen Tucker fall off chairs and struggle with push/ pull doors. Classy, he was not. — Bijou Hunter

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse. — Jeff Foxworthy

People actually were worried that I was going to get stereotyped as a monster after Freddy, but my God, I got stereotyped as white trash for years, the best friend for years, the redneck for years, the nerd for years and let me tell you ... it's better to be a monster than to be a nerd. — Robert Englund

Redneck law: Must have a gun. Must shoot it regularly. — Willie Robertson

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument. — Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels. — Jeff Foxworthy

If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck. — Jeff Foxworthy

If you're afraid they might discover your redneck past, there are a hundred ways to cover your redneck past. — Ben Folds