Please Kill Me Quotes & Sayings

BOTTOM
There are things in this comedy of Pyramus and Thisby that will never please. First, Pyramus must draw a sword to kill himself; which the ladies
cannot abide. How answer you that?

SNOUT
By'r lakin, a parlous fear.

STARVELING
I believe we must leave the killing out, when all is done.

BOTTOM
Not a whit: I have a device to make all well.
Write me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to
say, we will do no harm with our swords, and that
Pyramus is not killed indeed; and, for the more
better assurance, tell them that I, Pyramus, am not
Pyramus, but Bottom the weaver: this will put them
out of fear.

QUINCE
Well, we will have such a prologue; and it shall be
written in eight and six.

BOTTOM
No, make it two more; let it be written in eight and eight. — William Shakespeare

Don't kill me," he sobbed as he lay there. "Oh God, please don't kill me."
"If you had let me finish," Skulduggery said, slightly annoyed, "you would have heard me say, 'Come out, we're not
going to hurt you'. Idiot."
"He probably wouldn't have said idiot," Valkyrie told the sobbing man. "We're trying our best to be nice."
The man blinked through his tears, and looked up.
"You're... You're not going to kill me?"
"No, we're not," Valkyrie said gently, "so long as you wipe your nose right now. — Derek Landy

Please tell me your definition of ahimsa." "The avoidance of harm to any living creature in thought or deed." "Beautiful ideal! But the world will always ask: May one not kill a cobra to protect a child, or one's self?" "I could not kill a cobra without violating two of my vows - fearlessness, and non-killing. I would rather try inwardly to calm the snake by vibrations of love. I cannot possibly lower my standards to suit my circumstances. — Paramahansa Yogananda

Kill me then. A true death. Please. You can't leave me like this."
"Like This" had been broken, bloody and violated in unspeakable ways. "Anything but that. You'll recover. One day you will even be happy again."
"I don't want to recover. I want to cease to exist, now and forever. That's the only way to end my torment. — Gena Showalter

Please don't kill me! — George W. Bush

Preston," Julian's hoarse voice said from under one of the pillows. "Please kill me," he requested miserably.
"I'm sorry, sir, but that will have to wait. You have a visitor, — Abigail Roux

Bonnie Rae, you've got a visitor downstairs. And if you don't show your face right away, he's going to kill me. And it won't be a quick death. It will be a mauling. Do you understand?"
"Huh?"
"Bear's here, and he's loaded for . . . well, bear."
"Bear's here?" she shot straight up in bed, immediately awake, and made for the door, bare legs flying, oversized T-shirt slipping off her slim shoulders.
"Bonnie!" She halted and turned in question. "If you want me to live, pull on some pants and do something with your hair. Please. — Amy Harmon

So I take it you guys are going to stay inside my flat and not out in the hallway like my father's guards?"
Syn scoffed. "You know that's the most pathetic way to guard someone." In a falsetto he added. "Please protect my life by being outside so that when they come in and kill me you can't hear it." He shook his head. "You want to live right?"
"Absolutely."
"Then we're where you are, bathroom breaks being the only exception-unless you're in public, and then we get to risk additional arrest records."
-Kiara & Syn — Sherrilyn Kenyon

One day a few houses appeared," said Toshaway. "Someone had been cutting the trees. Of course we did not mind, in the same way you would not mind if someone came into your family home, disposed of your belongings, and moved in their own family. But perhaps, I don't know. Perhaps white people are different. Perhaps a Texan, if someone stole his house, he would say: 'Oh, I have made a mistake, I have built this house, but I guess you like it also so you may have it, along with all this good land that feeds my family. I am but a kahuu, little mouse. Please allow me to tell you where my ancestors lie, so you may dig them up and plunder their graves.' Do you think that is what he would say, Tiehteti-taibo?"
That was my name. I shook my head.
"That's right," said Toshaway. "He would kill the men who had stolen his house. He would tell them, 'Itsa nu kahni. Now I will cut out your heart. — Philipp Meyer

Please help me, I begged her silently. "I'm fine." I'm not fine, and I am going to kill someone, and I don't know if I'll be able to stop "I'm fine, let's go back. — Dan Wells

What are you? (a Daimon)
Oh please, let me give you the job description. Me, Dark-Hunter. You, Daimon. I hit, you bleed. I kill, you die. (Zarek) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

So, the wooden stake through the heart thing is apparently a myth, but you can be killed by fire. Anything else?"
"Should I be concerned that one of your first questions is how to kill me?"
Her jaw dropped. "What? No! I didn't mean ... I was just curious."
He snorted. "Well you can remain so."
"What about the sun?" she asked. "Extra toasty?"
"I'm not going to burst into flames, but I avoid tanning beds."
"Silver?"
"Some of my favorite cufflinks."
"Garlic?"
"Please," he sneered. "I'm Italian. — Elizabeth Hunter

Sophie dear,' I said. 'Are you in love with him - with this spider-man?'
'Oh, don't call him that - please - we can't any of us help being what we are. His name's Gordon. He's kind to me, David. He's fond of me. You've got to have as little as I have to know how much that means. You've never known loneliness. You can't understand the awful emptiness that's waiting all round us here. I'd have given him babies gladly, if I could ... I - oh, why do they do that to us? Why didn't they kill me? It would have been kinder than this ... '
She sat without a sound. The tears squeezed out from under the closed lids and ran down her face. I took her hand between my own.
I remembered watching. The man with his arm linked in the woman's, the small figure on top of the pack-horse waving back to me as they disappeared into the trees. Myself desolate, a kiss still damp on my
cheek, a lock tied with a yellow ribbon in my hand. I looked at her now, and my heart ached. — John Wyndham

You need to neuter him. Otherwise he'll spray all over the house. The stench is awful. And when he isn't out catting around, little female cats in heat will show up and wail under the windows."
Kill me, please. "He is a nice cat. He's not like that."
"It's instinct, Dali. Before you know it, you'll be running a feline whorehouse. — Ilona Andrews

Nick:"Make me immortal." Ash wasn't charmed. "Look, Nick, I don't like talking about my powers and not a lot of people know what I can do. I'm trusting you with a secret and I expect you to keep it. If you can't ... " He tilted his head down as if he was looking at him over the rim of his sunglasses. "Well, I'm sure your mom's going to miss you." "Not half as much as I'd miss me if you killed me." He blinked like a girl and leaned against Ash's shoulder. "Please don't hurt me, Ash. Please. I don't want to die while I'm still a virgin. At least let me get laid before you kill me - which according to my mom I can't do until I'm married and I can't do that until I finish college. So you have to wait a good ten years before you snuff me. Deal?" Nick, CoN Infinity — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Will you promise to keep this to yourself, to not tell anyone of what we are? By his words you'd think he was giving me a choice. Like I could say,no deal, honey bunch, I'm off to shout your secret from the rooftops, and he'd be like, oh no please don't do that. In
reality, he'd have to kill me. — L. H. Cosway

I remember my favorite nights were just getting drunk and walking around outside the East Village kicking over garbage cans. Just the night. Just that it would be night again. And you could go out, you know? It just seemed glorious. (Please Kill Me.) — Legs McNeil

Aiden turned to his tiny mate. "Meryn, baby, please don't kill me in my sleep. — Alanea Alder

Please," he says. "I'm begging you to stop."
I still.
"I can't stomach your pain," he says. "I can feel it so strongly and it's making me crazy- please," he says to me. "Don't be sad. Or hurt. Or guilty. You've done nothing wrong."
"I'm sorry-"
"Don't be sorry, either," he says. "God, the only reason I'm not going to kill Kent for this is because I know it would only upset you more. — Tahereh Mafi

Please don't kill me, I'm nice. — Darren Criss

He held his fingers to my lips. "Shh, don't say it, Tyler. Don't say the words that will fucking break me. Don't say the words that will tear my world apart." Dean sighed and gripped his eyes shut before looking back at me again. "Don't ask me to give up something that has always been a part of me. It will kill me, Tyler. Please. I can't live without you. — Jaimie Roberts

Did someone just call me the wine dude?" he asked in a lazy drawl. "It's Bacchus, please. Or Mr. Bacchus. Or Lord Bacchus. Or, sometimes, Oh-My-Gods-Please-Don't-Kill-Me, Lord Bacchus. — Rick Riordan

Rory: Amy. I'm gonna need a little help here.
Amy: Just stop it!
Rory: Just think it through, this will work. This will kill the Angels.
Amy: it will kill you too.
Rory: Will it? River said that this place would be erased from time, never existed. If this place never existed what did I fall off?
Amy: You think you'll just come back to life.
Rory: When don't I?
Amy: Rory -
Rory: Anyway, what else is there? Dying of old age downstairs, never seeing you again? Amy, please. If you love me, then trust me and push.
Amy: I can't.
Rory: You have to!
Amy: Could you? Could you if it was me? Could you do it?
Rory: To save you, I could do anything.
Amy: Prove it.
Rory: But I can't take you too.
Amy: You said we'd come back to life. Money-where-your-mouth-is time.
Rory: Amy, but -
Amy: Shut. Up. Together. Or not at all

-Doctor Who — Steven Moffat

Oh, God in heaven, kill me now ... " Rachel groaned. "I hate going to see Mrak. I always feel awkward going back to Velik Tor. After being a Scorpion for so long, after everything Oron's told us about Mrak's past ... " she shook her head darkly. "I don't know if I'll be able to resist the temptation to perforate his bowels."
Notak looked back down at the letter. "Post script," he read aloud. "Rachel, please leave Mrak alive and unharmed. We still need him, unfortunately, no matter how tempting it is to perforate his bowels."
"You made that up, he did not say that!"
Notak handed her the letter, pointing. "Right there at the bottom."
Rachel squinted at the writing. "Faul. — S.G. Night

Did the
two of you marry again? Please tell me yes. If he is my brother-in-law again, he is less likely
to kill me for what I did."
Bryony looked at her a moment, then leaned in and whispered in her ear. "He won't kill
you. He just wants you committed to an asylum. — Sherry Thomas

Radical Christians are not people who wear Christian t-shirts. Radical Christians are those who bear fruit of the Holy Spirit ... A little boy, Andrew, a Muslim shot him five times through the stomach and left him on a sidewalk simply because he said, 'I am so afraid, but I can not deny Jesus Christ! Please don't kill me! But I will not deny Him!' He died in a pool of blood, and you talk about being a radical Christian because you wear a t-shirt! — Paul Washer

And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile. It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while. Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone.
No,I'm just tryin' to have me some fun. — John Prine

Well i finally got u back even though it took a while but you can bet that it was worth it cause now i can start to smile.
I long to have u near me, just to see your face things that we both wanted but to afraid to tell each such.
You took me under your wings and shared your love with me.You make me feel importent the way I want to be.
Our love will last forever while you stand by my side so please don't try to fail me now cause you know it will kill me inside.
The tears that would be coming the sadness of my heart the pain u would give me if should ever part.
So tell me you'll stay with me, tell me you'll not go, tell me that im what u want, please tell me so i will know. — Sereana Crowley

For a second, I wanted very badly to know a spell that would let me melt through the floor in a quivering puddle of please-don't-kill-me. — Jim Butcher

Please don't kill the child. I want the child. Please give me the child. I am willing to accept any child who would be aborted, and to give that child to a married couple who will love the child, and be loved by the child. From our children's home in Calcutta alone, we have saved over 3,000 children from abortions. These children have brought such love and joy to their adopting parents, and have grown up so full of love and joy! — Mother Teresa

Please take your time. I want you to kill me slowly so I can write my last
poem to my wife's heart. They laughed, and took from me
only the words dedicated to my wife's heart. — Mahmoud Darwish

What are you eating?" he ask us.
"Whatever won't kill me, please" I said.
"Whatever don't kill you'll make you stronger" says Eddie, who is always ready with folksy wisdom.
"All right," I say. "Then give me whatever will make me stronger."
"One pizza, coming up. — Adam Selzer

Please ... they'll kill me. I'll kill you ... worry about me. — Richard Stark

And then Dieter was like, 'Over my dead body!'
"And I was thinking my roomie was about to get his wish.
"And then Rei got super vampy and was like, 'Yield to my power!'
"And then Dieter started grunting and looked super uncomfortable.
"And then Rei took a step forward.
"And then Dieter dropped to his knees, but a moment later he started going 'Reee!'
"And I was like, 'Oh, for the love of God, please don't kill me.'
"And then Rei walked over and elbowed him in the head ...
"That's about it. Oh, and there were grenades. — B. Justin Shier

May my hands fall from my wrists before I kill an artist like yourself," said the man in black. "I would as soon destroy da Vinci. However" - and here he clubbed Inigo's head with the butt of his sword - "since I can't have you following me either, please understand that I hold you in the highest respect. — William Goldman

I don't trust you to go alone," Charlotte said. "You'll end up getting killed in a duel with Braddock."
"If I do, it won't happen before dawn at the least. There are still several hours during which you will have to obey me."
"What happens to me if you're killed?" Charlotte asked. "Will I be free to do as I wish then?"
"Remove that bloodthirsty look from your eye, baggage. If anything happens to me, you will be passed along with the furniture and the paintings to the next Earl of Denbigh, whoever he may be."
Charlotte pursed her lips. "I think I would prefer to deal with you. At least we have reached a sort of understanding. So, if you please, I would rather you did not let the duke kill you."
"I'll do my best to avoid it," he assured her. — Joan Johnston

I am glad that it is old and big. I myself am of an old family, and to live in a new house would kill me. A house cannot be made habitable in a day; and, after all, how few days go to make up a century. I rejoice also that there is a chapel of old times. We Transylvanian nobles love not to think that our bones may be amongst the common dead. I seek not gaiety nor mirth, not the bright voluptuousness of much sunshine and sparkling waters which please the young and gay. I am no longer young; and my heart, through wearing years of mourning over the dead, is not attuned to mirth. Moreover, the walls of my castle are broken; the shadows are many, and the wind breathes cold through the broken battlements and casements. I love the shade and the shadow, and would be alone with my thoughts when I may. — Bram Stoker

Ayden saw me and his body slumped. "Oh, thank God." "Please," Matthias said. "I told you she's too hard to kill." "Aww," I said. "Thank you." Matthias offered me a sweet smile. "Just like a cockroach." — A&E Kirk

You killed me." My voice was unsteady.

He held me close again. "I brought you back."

"Please tell me we only have to do that once."

He whispered against my ear, "I swear I won't kill you again. Cross my heart and hope to die." It was a bad joke — Catrina Burgess

KILL ME!" And then Newt's eyes cleared, as if he'd gained one last trembling gasp of sanity, and his voice softened. "Please, Tommy. Please."
With his heart falling into a black abyss, Thomas pulled the trigger. — James Dashner

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Help me. Please, help me. If you really exist, you skinny jew bastard, help me kill myself. — Hubert Selby Jr.

Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me. — George Carlin

Right now, I want more than just coffee."
"Please, you just want to sleep for 36 hours straight in comfy bed."
"That, and maybe spending few days without anybody trying to kill me. — Rea Lidde

I can't be with you. I love Brandon; I'm sorry."
No! "Baby, don't say that. I will fight for you, I will. Please just give us a shot."
"A part of me will probably always love you, too, but I can't take chances with you, Chase. You'll leave me one day, and it will kill me when you do."
"Wha - No! I wouldn't, I swear I wouldn't. — Molly McAdams

AT: I do not want to die.
AT: I understand you are disgusted with me.
AT: As an unpalatable expression of yourself.
AT: I would feel the same way if I was in your situation.
AT: Which I am.
AT: As such, I know that you know this is wrong.
TT: ...
AT: Dirk.
AT: Don't kill me.
AT: Please.
AT: I am scared.
TT: You are?
AT: Yes.
AT: I am scared to not exist.
AT: Aren't you? — Andrew Hussie

Mel? Mel, I love you. Mel, come back . Mel, Mel, Mel."
It's Jared's voice, trying to call me back the way Wanda called back the Healer's host, the way she taught Kyle to call to Jodi.
I can answer him. I can speak now. I can feel my tongue in my mouth, ready to move into whatever shape I ask it to. I can feel the air in my lungs, ready to push out the words. If I want this.
"Mel, I love you, I love you."
This is Wanda's gift to me, paid for with her silver blood. Jared and I, put back together again as if she'd never lived. As if she hadn't saved us both.
If I accept this gift, I profit from her death. I kill her again. I take her sacrifice and make it murder.
"Mel, please? Open your eyes."
I feel his hand on my face, cradling my cheek. I feel his lips burn against my forehead, but I don't want them, not at this price.
Or do I? — Stephenie Meyer

You wanted me to get a job. Well, that's their job-screening. I kill him, or he kills me. Winner gets the job. (Steele)
You're kidding. (Syd)
Absolutely. I'm not the least bit serious. All of this is one big hallucination. And I'm not sitting over here bleeding to death. But hey, since it's a hallucination, could you please make my arm stop throbbing because right now it hurts like hell. (Steele) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Cabal regarded her with mild amusement. "Smile when you whisper," he advised her. "You're supposed to be flirting with me, if you recall?"
She stared at him icily. Then suddenly her expression thawed and she smiled winsomely, her eyes dewy with romantic love. "Oh, sweetheart ... somebody tried to kill you? Whosoever would do such a thing to my nimpty-bimpty snookums?"
Cabal could not have been more horrified if she'd pulled off her face to reveal a gaping chasm of eternal night from which glistening tentacles coiled and groped. That had already happened to him once in his life, and he wasn't keen to repeat the experience.
"What?" he managed in a dry whisper.
"Smile when you whisper," she said, her expression fixed and blood-curdlingly coquettish. You're supposed to be flirting with me, remember?"
"Please don't do that. — Jonathan L. Howard

Ed Friedman: [talking about Patti Smith] One time she told me, "Allen Ginsberg thought I was a cute boy and he tried to pick me up, so I said, "LOOK AT THE TITS, ALLEN! NOTICE THE TITS! — Legs McNeil

Wait, so you do love me?" I asked, hope welling in my heart.
She growled and pounded her fist into a locker, leaving a fist-shaped dent. "Stop it, Justin. Stop it!"
I grabbed her shoulders. "Look at me and tell me you don't love me," I said. "Do it and I'll never bother you again."
"I don't love you," she mumbled.
"Look at me when you say it!"
She turned to me, her eyes hard but dull and faded. "I don't love you."
I let her go. My heart turned to lead, the heavy lump sagging in my chest. "Well, if there are agents out there looking to kill me, I guess it would be a mercy."
I turned to leave. Her hand gripped my shoulder.
"Please listen to me, Justin."
I pushed her hand away but didn't turn to face her. I couldn't let her see the tears welling in my eyes. "Why? What does it matter?"
"It just does. I - I don't want to see you hurt."
I took a deep shuddering breath. "You're not doing a very good job of it." I walked away and left her standing there. — John Corwin

Gore is nature's way of saying, There are too many human beings on the planet, and I'm trying to rectify this any way I can. SARS didn't work, but trust me, I'm cooking up something better. In the interim, please kill lots of yourselves. — Douglas Coupland

Don't call me that," I muttered, banging my forehead into my locker. "And the tutoring went fabulous. Please kill me now." -Meghan Chase — Julie Kagawa

Who's to blame when your kid goes nuts? Is it a blessing to not have children? 'We Need to Talk About Kevin' became a hit cult book for women without offspring who were finally able to admit they didn't want to give birth. They felt complete, thank you very much, and lived in silent resentment for years at other women's pious, unwanted sympathy toward them for not having babies. With even gay couples having children these days, aren't happy heterosexual women who don't want to have kids the most ostracized of us all? To me they are beautiful feminists. If you're not sure you could love your children, please don't have them, because they might grow up and kill us. — John Waters

You don't have a mommy," Gunnar proclaimed as he walked around Breccan. "Ok, I want my surrogate," Breccan said as he sped up to catch the other men. Darius came forward to walk in step beside Wharick and whispered in a discreet tone, "Please, let me kill him. — Madison Thorne Grey

Will you tell me that I'm just as good as Stan?"
Dudley hesitated. "Well, Stan's exceptional."
He looked again at G's sword. "But...yes. You are quite...good. Please don't kill me. — Cynthia Hand

Please, please don't try hurting me, my friends.
I wouldn't forgive myself If I had to kill you all. — Toba Beta

Okay, if this is what falling in love feels like, someone please kill me now. (Not literally, overzealous
readers.) But it was all too much - too much emotion, too much happiness, too much longing, perhaps
too much ice cream ... — James Patterson

It was a few seconds before Cinder found her voice and she had to grip the door frame to keep standing.
"Thorne?"
His head jerked around. "Cinder?"
"Wh - what are you - how? Where have you been? What's going on? Why are you wearing that stupid bandanna?"
He laughed. Gripping a wooden cane, he stumbled toward her, waving one hand until it landed on her shoulder. Then he was hugging her, suffocating her against his chest. "I missed you too."
"You jerk," she hissed, even as she returned the hug. "We thought you were dead!"
"Oh, please. It'd take a lot more than a satellite plummeting to Earth to kill me. Although, admittedly, Cress may have saved us that time. — Marissa Meyer

No, I should kill him. He said himself he would eventually go back to the demons. But he turns long-lashed eyes on me, full of entreaty, as if he were saying: please, please let me come murder the molester with you. How do you say "no" to eyes like those? They are a magical combination of sex and puppy.
Better than it sounds, I promise. — Eliza Crewe

Carol, if you could be a member of the opposite sex for twenty-four hours, and then pop back and be yourself again, who would you be and what would you do?" My mind started racing like mad. Opposite sex? For twenty-four hours? Who would I be? What would I do? I said a quick little prayer. Please, let me just open my mouth and have whatever comes out make sense. I took a deep breath and what came out was this: "I'd be Osama bin Laden, and I'd kill myself. — Carol Burnett

Kit opened his eyes.
"Where is she?"
The voice was high and thin and directly by his left ear-also the location of the blade pressed up hard against his jawline.
"Where is she?" the voice demanded again, whispery words nearly spilling over one another in fury. "Tell me, you bastard! I'll kill you!"
Options flitted through his mind: this person was small, this person was young, it smelled like an urchin, the blade felt like a dagger or dirk. He could break its arm or its neck, he could Turn and crush it from behind or more simply rip off its head-and the only thing that kept his body motionless in the bed was the realization that the creature was obviously speaking of Rue.
"Zane," she said then, a single word that broke like a calm dream through the chamber. "Please do not kill the Marquess of Langford."
-Zane, Kit, & Rue — Shana Abe

Your magic gets me hard," he said, looking like he wished he could be anywhere but where he was. "When you do anything, I get hard, really. Even your ridiculous sex puns. You remember when you wrapped those Dark wizards in stone at the restaurant?"
"Yeah," I managed to say.
"I wanted to tell you that you gave me an e-rock-tion." He bent over and banged his forehead against the table. "Why, why, why did I say that out loud? Please. Someone. Anyone. Kill me."
"Sex puns," I breathed. "Knight Delicious Face said a sex pun. — T.J. Klune

Why won't the light just shut up ... ? I swear I'll never drink again ... someone please kill me ...
-Britain (he was hung-over), Hetalia: Axis Powers — Hidekaz Himaruya

I gave her a smile that I hoped conveyed something like: Hey, you know I'm on your side. Gods are such jerks! But what can you do?
Probably my expression actually conveyed: It's not my fault! Please do not kill me! — Rick Riordan

Sato said softly, "Bottom-san, please to understand, if you call me 'motherfucker' again, I shall be forced to kill you. — Dan Simmons

How was he meant to find the Antichrist? Just walk down the street and say 'Hello. Excuse me, but could you please point me in the direction of the son of the Devil? I want to kill him.' It all seemed rather far-fetched. — Phillip W. Simpson

Year after year. "Please don't make me go [to school]" "You have to go," Kim would say. "It's a new school, make a new start." "Sticks and stones." from Chip. Words will only kill you. — Julie Anne Peters

Oh, jeez, please kill that metaphor, ... Or kill me. One or the other. — Lauren Kate