Piscopo Quotes & Sayings

I'll tell ya this: I come from an educated family. My father was an attorney representing blue collar workers, and my uncle was a chemical engineer ... on my mom's side, all my uncles were engineers - all ten of them. — Joe Piscopo

I starred in Dr. Pepper commercials and Buick ads. — Joe Piscopo

If I had the gift of Jerry Seinfeld, of Bill Cosby, of Lewis Black, these instinctively brilliant comic minds, then you go that route! But you gotta know your limitations. I'm more of an actor, more of a process guy. I did Tom Snyder, just as Danny Aykroyd did on 'SNL.' I did it in the club. — Joe Piscopo

Maxine recoils, only partly out of the classic accountant's allergy to real folding money — Thomas Pynchon

We have this judgmental way of looking at the idea of leaving a home or a family, and our society has reinforced this idea that if we "run away," we are "running away from our problems." In some cases, though, to face certain problems (in this case, two family members who are not mentally stable and who are not going to face up to their issues) the family members who are capable of facing reality must realize that leaving is a viable option. Some environments are harmful. As fellow humans it is our job to judge less and encourage more when others choose to remove themselves from harmful environments. — A.S. King

I stay in Jersey - it's home, man. It's home. And I think that's the foundation of the true strength of the communities where we live in America. — Joe Piscopo

The best advice on writing I've ever received was from William Zinsser: 'Be grateful for every word you can cut.' — Christopher Buckley

All I ever wanted to do was bit parts on Broadway. I have more than achieved any goal that I aspired to. — Joe Piscopo

I worked in Trenton, and then I got sidetracked into comedy and then onto 'SNL.' And then into being a live performer - what I do now; virtually that's what I am: I'm a live entertainer. — Joe Piscopo

Governments stand because people sit; if people stand, governments will sit! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

I am that 'everyman' in that I have made every mistake you can make in your career and in your personal life. But I am a survivor. — Joe Piscopo

I'm a dedicated father - a hopeless, dedicated father. I mean, I am dork dad. I am just - I love my children. I have kids - you know, Joey's 30-something, and then I have all the way down to 4 years old, believe it or not. At my age, five kids. — Joe Piscopo

Normcore just means divine sportswear. — Michael Kors

Some people in Hollywood think I'm nuts with this bodybuilding stuff. They'll say, 'You're getting too big. You'll hurt your career.' But they don't understandthat high that comes from a workout, the challenge, and the personal victory. — Joe Piscopo

I graduated from Jones College, man, in Jacksonville, Florida, baby! I couldn't get in anywhere else, man. I was the worst student ever. I couldn't get in anywhere else. My father insisted I go to college, so I graduated, made the dean's list and everything. — Joe Piscopo

I remember Steve Kaufman as the artist on Saturday Night Live doing the Pop Art portraits for the show. — Joe Piscopo

Nothing in the world is as soft and yielding as water. Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible, nothing can surpass it. The soft overcomes the hard; the gentle overcomes the rigid. Everyone knows this is true, but few can put it into practice. Therefore the Master remains serene in the midst of sorrow. Evil cannot enter his heart. Because he has given up helping, he is people's greatest help. True words seem paradoxical. — Laozi

The nerds are running the world now. — Joe Piscopo

If I disagree with someone, I let them have their say and move on. I don't want to be the one to lecture. — Joe Piscopo

I weighed 193 pounds and had three chins. I couldn't get up before 9 a.m. and never saw patients before 10. I decided to go on a diet. — Robert Atkins

I used to sneak up to the 8th floor and watch Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo rehearsing 'Saturday Night Live' and could only wonder if I would ever have the chance to be funny. It took me five years to go up the two stories, but it is such a sense of fulfillment to be able to show what I can do on national television. — Dana Carvey