Pesci Quotes & Sayings

I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percent rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't ... Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe ... same as the voodoo lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same ... so just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself ... — George Carlin

You know why you hate me so much, Jeffery? Because I look the way you feel. — Joe Pesci

I love the Dutch impressionists - Vermeer, Rembrandt. What they were able to do with light was astonishing. As for photographers, I think mostly of the Hungarians: Robert Capa, Laszlo Moholy-Nagy, Jozsef Pesci. In fact, I have one of his photographs hanging in my house. — Vilmos Zsigmond

My boyfriend is Italian and from New Jersey, so naturally he was thrilled to meet Joe Pesci. — Diablo Cody

Did Mad freakin' Max just call me irritating? — Joe Pesci

My father loved me so much that he did not want me to be a laborer or anything. I don't know if it's the right thing to do - push your kids into something and then stay on them until they do it. Let them pick what they want to do. — Joe Pesci

You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with. — George Carlin

Ah, I don't do interviews, really. — Joe Pesci

I did 'Gangs of New York' with Martin Scorsese, and they used to call me 'Little Joe Pesci' on the set. — Stephen Graham

You try too hard. Winners forget they're in a race. They just love to run. — Joe Pesci

A winner forgets he's in a race, he just loves to run. — Joe Pesci

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown? — Joe Pesci

There is going to come a time when we have to accept who we are without the assistance of religion. That will be the dawn of true faith. We leave the big decisions to invisible consultants and pray we get the answers we are looking for. The late great George Carlin once said he gave up praying to God and started praying to Joe Pesci because his prayers to Joe Pesci were answered with as much accuracy and frequency as those to God. [ ... ] If we as people are still looking for answers, we should turn our eyes away from the heavens and look to each other. I know we do not play well together - hell, some of us do not even like being in the same room with each other - but the divine lies in all of us. We are miracles. We are "god." If we shared a little more, we would not be left feeling less. We hold the keys to our own destinies. It is time we started looking for the locks. — Corey Taylor

I couldn't get any jobs, and when that happens, you get so humble it's disgusting. I didn't feel like a man anymore
I felt really creepy. I was bumping into walls and saying, Excuse me. — Joe Pesci

Women, aren't they perfect? It doesn't matter if they're fat, skinny, blond, or blue. If a woman is willing to give you her love, Harvard, it's the greatest gift in the world. Makes you taller, makes you smarter, makes your teeth shine. Boy-oh-boy women are perfect, perfect joy and perfect ache. Joy when you first meet them and get to know them. Ache when you leave them. Joy. Ache. Joy. Ache. Joyachejoyachejoyachejoyache. — Joe Pesci

Scorsese and De Niro taught me to bring out the natural side of myself. And they taught me to think of myself as the average guy. Sometimes the average guy belongs in a role more than your matinee idol-type of person. We have to have people we can relate to. — Joe Pesci

Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning. — Joe Pesci

I'm just some lunatic macaroni mushroom, is that it? — Joe Pesci

I love to star in movies, but I want to have good roles. It doesn't help to get starring roles in something that's no good. I mean, that will just kill you. — Joe Pesci

You don't say hello to Mr. DeNiro? Show the respect, will ya? — Joe Pesci

I've been married three times, but I'll never forget my first trip as a young man, on my honeymoon, with my new wife. — Joe Pesci

Bad acting comes in many bags, various odors. It can be performed by cardboard refugees from an Ed Wood movie, reciting their dialogue off an eye chart, or by hopped-up pros looking to punch a hole through the fourth wall from pure ballistic force of personality, like Joe Pesci in a bad mood. I can respect bad acting that owns its own style. — James Wolcott

I dyed my hair blonde in that movie, so my head doesn't match my grill. — Joe Pesci

You win, you win. You lose, you still win. — Joe Pesci

If I took over the 'Glamour' offices for a day, I would put Joe Pesci on the cover. I would say 'We've got to change all these magazines a little bit. We have to bring out a different version of what is, like, cool. You know, what's winning. Joe Pesci, Burt Reynolds.' — Jake Johnson