Outhouse Quotes & Sayings

All that proves is that most of the world is too poor to build bowling alleys, golf courses, tennis courts and baseball fields. There's hundreds of millions of poor people out there who still ain't got indoor plumbing, but that don't mean there's something great about an outhouse. Soccer is boring. I've never seen a more boring sport. — Mike Royko

I'm sorry," she said softly. "Even if you'd looked like you were born downwind of an outhouse, I would have snapped a thousand photos of you. And then used those photos to blackmail you later, but my reasons are inconsequential. — Gena Showalter

There is a Senate and a Congress who carry on endless sessions discussing garbage disposal and outhouse inspection, the only two questions over which they have jurisdiction. — William S. Burroughs

Task finished, she sat a few minutes longer, very quietly. Then she sheepishly opened the outhouse door, cursing the squeaking hinges as she stuck her head out. She saw nothing, so she took a careful step outside. She heard a hiss and snarl and saw the cat lurking around the shed, twenty feet away. She retreated, slamming the door. "Shit," she said aloud. "Shit, shit, shit!" So — Robyn Carr

What difference does it make if you live in a picturesque little outhouse surrounded by 300 feeble minded goats and your faithful dog? The question is: Can you write? — Ernest Hemingway,

ot everyone liked Albert. Not everyone was happy that he had become the most important person around. Lots of people were jealous that Albert had a girl to clean his house and the porcelain basin where he did his business at night when he didn't want to go outside to the only actual outhouse in Per-dido Beach. And that he could afford to send his clothes to be washed in the fresh water of the ironically named Lake Evian.
And there were definitely people who didn't like working for Albert, having to do what he said or go hungry.
Albert traveled with a bodyguard now. The bodyguard's name was Jamal. Jamal carried an automatic rifle over his shoulder. He had a massive hunting knife in his belt. And a club that was an oak chair leg with spikes driven through it to make a sort of mace.
Unlike everyone else Albert carried no weapon himself. Jamal was weapon enough. — Michael Grant

She went to the window and looked out. The ground fell away to a branch where willows burned lime green in the sunset. Dark little birds kept crossing the fields to the west like heralds of some coming dread. Below the branch stood the frame of an outhouse from which the planks had been stripped for firewood and there hung from the ceiling a hornetnest like a gross paper egg. The tinker returned from the cart with a lantern — Cormac McCarthy

If ya let hornets rest in yer outhouse, it's hard t'get pissed when they buzz down and sting yer ass. — Stephen J. Cannell

I want out of each and every one of you is a hard target search, of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. — Tommy Lee Jones

Frequently also some fair-weather finery ripped off a vessel by a storm near the coast was nailed up against an outhouse. I saw fastened to a shed near the lighthouse a long new sign with the words "ANGLO SAXON" on it in large gilt letters, as if it were a useless part which the ship could afford to lose, or which the sailors had discharged at the same time with the pilot. But it interested somewhat as if it had been a part of the Argo, clipped off in passing through the Symplegades. — Henry David Thoreau

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park. — Jeff Foxworthy

God save the Queen and a fascist regime ... a flabby toothless fascism, to be sure. Never go too far in any direction, is the basic law on which Limey-Land is built. The Queen stabilizes the whole sinking shithouse and keeps a small elite of wealth and privilege on top. The English have gone soft in the outhouse. England is like some stricken beast too stupid to know it is dead. Ingloriously foundering in its own waste products, the backlash and bad karma of empire — William S. Burroughs

This is why we said 'ain't'
and 'he don't'.
We wanted words to fit
our cold linoleum,
our oil lamps, our
outhouse. We knew
better but it was wrong
to use a language
that named ghosts,
nothing you could touch. — Vern Rustsala

I think of myself as a Hollywood hillbilly, but I'm sick of all these questions people ask about Alabama. 'Do you have an outhouse?' 'Is there a lot of inbreeding in your family?' They think all Southerners don't have computers and TV sets and that we're all still living in 1862. — Sunny Mabrey

Where's the toilet room?"...
"Outhouse 'round back."
When the boy's eyes lit up, Albert laughed again.
"You like that?"
"Sure. Lots of lizards. — Caroline Fyffe

Lord Maccon was built like a brick outhouse, with opinions twice as unmoving and often equally full of crap. — Gail Carriger

It's a short trip from the penthouse to the outhouse. — Paul Dietzel

Well, have you ever thought of bathing?' I asked, turning away. 'No one wants to hire a wizard who smells worse than their outhouse. And who knows what creatures are living in that hair? — Alexandra Bracken

I myself will perhaps cry out with all the rest, looking at the mother embracing her child's tormentor: 'Just art thou, O Lord!' but I do not want to cry out with them. While there's still time, I hasten to defend myself against it, and therefore I absolutely renounce all higher harmony. It is not worth one little tear of even that one tormented child who beat her chest with her little fist and prayed to 'dear God' in a stinking outhouse with her unredeemed tears! — Fyodor Dostoyevsky

On the morning of the best day of her life, Maude Flynn was locked in the outhouse singing 'the Battle Hymn of the Republic — Laura Amy Schlitz

The English have gone soft in the outhouse. England is like some stricken beast too stupid to know it is dead. — William S. Burroughs

Uglier than death backin' outta the outhouse readin' mad magazine and crazy as a football bat. — Alan Moore

The old junky has found a vein ... blood blossoms in the dropper like a Chinese flower ... he push home the heroin and the boy who jacked off fifty years ago shine immaculate through the ravaged flesh, fill the outhouse with the sweet nutty smell of young male lust. — William S. Burroughs

People may think of Southern humor in terms of missing teeth and outhouse accidents, but the best of it is a rich vein running through the best of Southern literature. — Roy Blount Jr.

My first job was with the Burns Detective Agency. They sent me over to the East River to guard coal barges during these god-awful hours like three to six in the morning. It wasn't a very difficult job
all I had to do was make a round every fifteen minutes
but it turned out to be a great environment for writing. I was completely alone in a little outhouse with an electric heater and a little desk. — Sam Shepard

You doan go diggin' for gold in an outhouse. — Sandra Hill

We're not quite mainstage material. We're more like outhouse material! — Andrew Dost

Every morning, therefore, uncle Charles repaired to his outhouse but not before he had greased and brushed scrupulously his back hair and brushed and put on his tall hat. — James Joyce

It was not an outhouse resting upon the imagination. It was reality. — Richard Brautigan

Calling Sol stubborn was like calling an outhouse aromatic. — Suzie Quint

Two people could build an outhouse in four hours. They're not complicated. — Robert Maxwell

As the days went by, my frustration festered like an outhouse during a Jamaican summer. — Andrew Cormier

Most people would live in an outhouse in Bangladesh before they would voluntarily move to Nebraska. — Poe Ballantine

Signs of craziness, like Hoyt McCoy dancing around naked? Disgusting filthiness, like a smelly outhouse or rat-swarmed garbage? — Jeanne DuPrau

From flophouse bed
To poorhouse bread,
all outhouse sorrow:
I thee wed. — Roman Payne

I literally went from the outhouse to the White House. — Wynonna Judd

After Auschwitz"

Anger,
as black as a hook,
overtakes me.
Each day,
each Nazi
took, at 8: 00 A.M., a baby
and sauteed him for breakfast
in his frying pan.

And death looks on with a casual eye
and picks at the dirt under his fingernail.

Man is evil,
I say aloud.
Man is a flower
that should be burnt,
I say aloud.
Man
is a bird full of mud,
I say aloud.

And death looks on with a casual eye
and scratches his anus.

Man with his small pink toes,
with his miraculous fingers
is not a temple
but an outhouse,
I say aloud.
Let man never again raise his teacup.
Let man never again write a book.
Let man never again put on his shoe.
Let man never again raise his eyes,
on a soft July night.
Never. Never. Never. Never. Never.
I say those things aloud.

I beg the Lord not to hear. — Anne Sexton

Maybe everything the slave catcher said was true, Cora thought, every justification, and the sons of Ham were cursed and the slave master performed the Lord's will. And maybe he was just a man talking to an outhouse door, waiting for someone to wipe her ass. - — Colson Whitehead

Prior to the attack on Betio, photo analysts counted the number of privies (benjo) built on short piers extending into the water on both the southern and northern shores. Knowing the maximum number of bottoms per outhouse specified by Japanese naval regulations, they were able to make a surprisingly accurate estimate of the number of defenders. — Oscar Gilbert