Office Funniest Quotes & Sayings

'The Office' is clearly the funniest show on TV. But I can't live without watching 'Eureka.' It's my favorite show of all time, and I watch it constantly on my iPod. — Matthew Underwood

There is nothing to be got in the world anywhere; privation and pain pervade it, and boredom lies in wait at every corner for those who have escaped them. Moreover, wickedness usually reigns, and folly does all the talking. Fate is cruel, and human beings are pathetic. — Arthur Schopenhauer

The way I see it, you've gotta put up with the rain to get a rainbow. — Dolly Parton

I only ever run when there's some point to it - say, if it's in a game of tennis. — Rafael Nadal

True love comes from the heart and not from the words. — Auliq Ice

Like most meaningful activities, campaigns are team games. — Alastair Campbell

Our country since its inception has been at war, every 15 or 20 years. But the war that we are fighting against radical Islamist jihadists is one that we must win. Our very existence is dependent upon that. — Benjamin Carson

As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation. — Hans Selye

I'm a very smart guy. I haven't a feeling or a scruple in the world. All I have the itch for is money. I am so money greedy that for twenty-five bucks a day and expenses, mostly gasoline and whisky, I do my thinking myself, what there is of it; I risk my whole future, the hatred of the cops ... I dodge bullets and eat saps, and say thank you very much, if you have any more trouble, I hope you'll think of me, I'll just leave one of my cards in case anything comes up. — Raymond Chandler

The blade gleamed in his hand, making my knees go so weak that I had to hold onto the car. Even watching him use a butter knife on an unsuspecting piece of toast was enough to make my whole body burn, inciting an erection under the table that would last long past dessert. — Nicole Castle

It was funny, Skip thought, how much attention children demanded the first few years of their lives and how hard adults strove ever after to get their attention. — Julie Smith

Alf Todd," said Ukridge, soaring to an impressive burst of imagery, "has about as much chance as a one-armed blind man in a dark room trying to shove a pound of melted butter into a wild cat's left ear with a red-hot needle. — P.G. Wodehouse

Real manhood is not raping or molesting the girls; real manhood is respecting the girls and giving them freedom to live the way they want. — Raj Singh

But Hale didn't follow. For a second he just stood and stared out over his empire. It was like he was lost in a dream when he said, "So, your dad broke into the patent office."
"Yep," Kat told him.
"How many goats am I going to owe him for that?"
"More than you've got, big guy. Way more than you've got. — Ally Carter

When you are so unhappy you don't know how to accomplish anything, then to have control over your body becomes an extreme accomplishment. You make of your body your very own kingdom where you are the tyrant, the absolute dictator. — Hilde Bruch

So here's my advice to city planners. Make your city runnable. Runners are the first wave of troops bringing human activity back to the urban core of any city. Where we go, others will follow. The connection between runnability and livability is so clear (at least to me), that it's surprising that new developments consistently leave pathways out of the plans ... — Don Kardong