My Grandma Told Me Quotes & Sayings

Such was the love of this grandson for his grandmother that two years after the death of his mother, when she herself fell gravely ill, he vowed to her that someday he would try to tell the world her life story.
'But why?' she asked humbly. 'I'm no one, just a girl from the coast'
'But you are everyone, Grandma,' the young Pramoedya told her. 'You are all the people who have ever had to fight to make this life their own. — Pramoedya Ananta Toer

Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?"
It's a street name," Ranger said. "I was a Ranger in the army."
I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant."
My father's mouth dropped open and a piece of ham fell out.
My mother froze, her fork poised in midair.
That's sort of a joke," I told Grandma. "Rangers don't get dogs pregnant in real life."
I looked at Ranger for corroboration and got another smile. — Janet Evanovich

You're a brave, brave girl, Tula" Gaby told her.
"I know", said the little girl. "I got it from you. — James Patterson

Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, "In Case of Fire, Throw This in First." I have never had so much respect for Mama as the day I heard this. — Erma Bombeck

Happiness, you make them" was her reply. My right words at the right time, I told Ms. Thomas during the interview, now several years after Grandma's death. "With her accent and broken English she misspoke, making happiness plural," I explained to Ms. Thomas. "And I like that, because it is good to be reminded that happiness is not just one thing and is always of your making. — Bridget Kinsella

Though she doesn't remember any trauma, she said that her parents told her she cried on a daily basis and her grandmother resorted to passing out candy so the kids would play with her. Though it was a humorous moment, Mila said, "I know, God bless her. She's an amazing, amazing woman." — Mila Kunis

Conner raised an eyebrow. 'Who told you that?'
'Well,' she said, not knowing how to describe what she experienced. 'Um ... a moth did.'
Conner squinted at her and his mouth fell open. He was expecting a much better answer than that. 'A moth told you?'
'Yes
but it wasn't a regular moth, it was more like an angel.'
'An angel moth?'
'Well, it came from somewhere in the stars. I think Grandma sent it.'
'Grandma sent you an angel moth from outer space?'
'Kind of! Anyway, the moth took me to a forest and then turned into a bunch of orbs that re-created a memory
stop looking at me like that, Conner! — Chris Colfer

My great grandma always told me to drink a lot of milk because it's good for the skin. — Barbara Palvin

My grandma told me never, ever, ever to use soap on my face. But I do use lotion. — Natalia Kills

Grandma Donna passed the oyster stuffing and asked my father straight out what he was working on, it being so obvious his thoughts were not with us. She meant it as a reprimand. He was the only one at the table who didn't know this, or else he was ignoring it. He told her he was running a Markov chain analysis of avoidance conditioning. He cleared his throat. He was going to tell us more.
We moved to close off the opportunity. Wheeled like a school of fish, practiced, synchronized. It was beautiful. It was Pavlovian. It was a goddamn dance of avoidance conditioning. — Karen Joy Fowler

Remember our Red scares and our Catholic scares, when all well-informed people knew that the O.G.P.U. were hiding out in Oskaloosa, and the Republicans campaigning against Al Smith told the Carolina mountaineers that if Al won the Pope would illegitimatize their children? Remember Tom Heflin and Tom Dixon? Remember when the hick legislators in certain states, in obedience to William Jennings Bryan, who learned his biology from his pious old grandma, set up shop as scientific experts and made the whole world laugh itself sick by forbidding the teaching of evolution?. . .Remember the Kentucky night-riders? Remember how trainloads of people have gone to enjoy lynchings? Not happen here? Prohibition - shooting down people just because they might be transporting liquor - no, that couldn't happen in America! Why, where in all history has there ever been a people so ripe for a dictatorship as ours! — Sinclair Lewis

My mother came into the kitchen. "Whose car is that parked in front of our house?"
"That's Stephanie's new car," Grandma said. "Isn't it a pip?"
One of my mother's eyebrows raised in question. "Two new cars? Where are these cars coming from?"
"Company cars," I said.
"Oh?"
"Anal sex is not involved," I told her.
My mother and grandmother both gasped.
"Sorry," I said. "It just slipped out."
"I thought only homosexual men did anal sex," Grandma said.
"Anybody with an anus can do it," I told her.
"Hmm," she said. "I got one of them. — Janet Evanovich

We're told that the Protectosphere is clear, but Grandma always said that the sky's not as clear as it was when she was a little girl. She said the real sky is endless. I never understood endless. Everything in my life had limits. But tonight in this darkness, I'm sure I can see real stars. And tonight I almost understand a place without end. I'm in an endless night with no job, no friends, and no future. — Sara Grant

My grandma had told me once you couldn't make someone love you or even like you, but you could sure as hell make someone put up with you. — Mariana Zapata

I'm going to shoot him," I squeezed through my teeth. "No, that would be murder," Grandma Frida told me, her voice soothing. "You've had a long day. Let's put your magic away. You know what you need? A nice cup of chamomile tea and a tranquilizer . . ." I — Ilona Andrews

as his mother told Grandma Marie, there are no words for some — Chris Abani

My grandma is very old, and she doesn't remember things a lot, but she bakes the most delicious cookies. When I was very little, we had my mom's mom, who always had candy, and my dad's mom,who always had cookies. My mom told me that when I was little, I called them "Candy Grandma" and "Cookies Grandma." I also called pizza crust "pizza bones." I don't know why I'm telling you this. — Stephen Chbosky

Read this morning of a black family - husband and wife both work in govt. printing office. They live in a nice house near U. of Maryland. They have been harassed and even had a cross burned on their lawn. It was all on the front page of the "Post." I told Mike & Jim I'd like to call on them. We cleared the last part of the afternoon schedule & Nancy & I went calling. They were a very nice couple with a 4 year old daughter - grandma (a most gracious lady) lived with them. Their home was very nice & tastefully furnished. They were very nice about our coming & expressed their thanks. The whole neighborhood was lining the street - most of them cheering and applauding us. I hope we did some good. There is no place in this land for the hate-mongers & bigots. — Ronald Reagan

Because who knows? Who knows anything? Who knows who's pulling the strings? Or what is? Or how? Who knows if destiny is just how you tell yourself the story of your life? Another son might not have heard his mother's last words as a prophecy but as drug-induced gibberish, forgotten soon after. Another girl might not have told herself a love story about a drawing her brother made. Who knows if Grandma really thought the first daffodils of spring were lucky or if she just wanted to go on walks with me through the woods? Who knows if she even believed in her bible at all or if she just preferred a world where hope and creativity and faith trump reason? who knows if there are ghosts (sorry, Grandma) or just the living, breathing memories of your loved ones, inside you, speaking to you, trying to get your attention by any means necessary? Who knows where the hell Ralph is? (Sorry, Oscar.) No one knows.
SO we grapple with the mysteries, each in our own way. — Jandy Nelson

Henry told me once that his doctor thinks he's a new kind of human. You know, sort of the next step in evolution.'
Grandma shakes her head. 'That is just as bad as being a demon. Goodness, Clare, why in the world would you want to marry such a person? Think of the children you would have! Popping into next week and back before breakfast! — Audrey Niffenegger

Dating is so insecure. My last relationship, I was always there for her and she dumped me. I told her about it. I said, "Remember when your grandma died? I was there. Remember when you flunked out of school? I was there. Remember when you lost your job? I was there!" She said, "I know — Tom Arnold

And after I told my six-year-old, grandma died in the accident, after tears and questions she suggested, maybe now is a good time to explain what the man has to do with babies. So i chose one perfect lily from that vase and with the tip of a paring knife slit open the pistil to trace the passage pollen makes to the egg cell- the eggs i then slipped out and dotted on her fingertips, their greenish-white translucent as the air in this blizzard that cannot cool the unbearable heart. — Kimiko Hahn

He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us.
"I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me," Ranger said.
[Stephanie] "She wants to see you naked."
"I wish you hadn't told me that, babe."
"Everyone I know wants to see you naked."
"And you?"
"Never crossed my mind." I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wouldn't stike me down dead for lying. — Janet Evanovich

...Now did you ever hear of a young feller's having such hard luck, Mrs. Burden?"

Grandma told him she was sure the Lord had remembered these things to his credit, and had helped him out of many a scrape when he didn't realize that he was being protected by Providence. — Willa Cather

Grandma told me not to 'squirrel' you...

She and Anne saw two squirrels doing the deed, then the male squirrel ran off when it was over. I'm slightly offended she compared me to a hit-and-run rodent. I just want you to know that I want to share my branch and acorns with you, it's not just physical. — Robin Alexander

You've been here before, Bell. Remember the stories you told me about wandering in the woods when you were a little girl? It scared the crap out of you, but you went out there all alone, knee-high to a bunny rabbit, and picked berries and climbed trees and found bird nests and came home all bug-bitten and mossy. And you loved every minute of it. It made you our beautiful Arctic Bell, impervious to cold and feared by mosquitoes. Aren't you glad you didn't stay by grandma's side, darning socks and baking gingerbread?
Who darns socks?
Girls nobody tells stories about. — Alexis M. Smith

That's the way it is with bullies, Grandma told me once. You give them an inch and they'll run you through with a knife. — Benjamin X. Wretlind

My father hired you to protect me," Ahmed said, "not to go off chasing men."
Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on the Taurus. "We think this guy killed Fred."
"Who's Fred?"
"My uncle," I told him. "He's married to Mabel."
"Ah so you're avenging a murder in the family. This is a good thing. — Janet Evanovich

What Grandma has told me about life: No one promised you a bucket of pansies, so don't be one. Everyone thinks a great life is one filled with fun and fluff. No, that's a pointless life. A great life is filled with challenges and adversity. It's how you knock the hell out of it that shows what kind of person you are. Keep a hand out to help someone up, but don't give them two hands or you'll enable them to be a weak and spineless jellyfish. Always look your best. Not for a man, that's ridiculous, what do they know? Nothing. They know nothing. It's for you. — Cathy Lamb

Our governor in Massachusetts, Deval Patrick, once told a story about his grandma. She said, "Don't call people 'the poor.' Call people broke. Broke is temporary." I try not to say "the poor" because it sounds like a sentence, like I'm putting people in a box, far away from those of us who can make ends meet. But someone who is broke, on the other hand, is a peer. — Molly Phinney Baskette

During our visit, we noticed she was mixing up words. She started referring to Muslims as Mormons. After 9/11, she told Jon and me how it was important for America to stop the radical Mormons because they had perpetrated the attacks on the Twin Towers.
There was no way we could convince her of the difference. We'd just smile and not. That's right, Grandma, all the Mormons got together on September 11th and ran their bicycles into the Twin Towers! — Mollie Gross

Mom told me, "It probably gets pretty lonely to be Grandma, don't you think?" I told her, "It probably gets pretty lonely to be anyone. — Jonathan Safran Foer

I'm supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty," I told her.
Without a moment's hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: "It depends on if you're drinking or pouring. — Bill Cosby

want you, it's their loss," Grandma said. "Why don't we just wait and see what they say?" Ms. Donatello told me. "I have to go to the bathroom," Georgia said. I didn't want to talk anymore, so I just made like Leonardo the Silent and kept my mouth shut after that. Finally, the office door opened, and Mr. Crawley, the director of the school, came over to talk to us. I tried not to look like I wanted to disappear. Or self-destruct. Or both. "First of all, Rafe," he said, "you should know there are three things we look for in an applicant. One of those is experience. A lot of the students at Cathedral have been studying art since before they could write." "Sure," I said. "I get it. No problem." But he wasn't done yet. "The other two things we look for are talent and persistence," he said. "Not only is that portfolio of yours full of artistic promise, it's also just full. When I see that, I see a boy who would probably keep drawing whether anyone was paying attention or not. — James Patterson

I'm often a crier and many things make me cry. I come from a crying family - my mother cries, my grandma used to cry. It was never shameful to cry. My father never told me men don't cry. — Michael Silverblatt

Author's Warning
If you're buying this book as a gift for your grandma or a kid, you should be aware that it contains cusswords as well as tasteful depictions of cannibalism and people in their forties having sex. Don't blame me. I told you. — Christopher Moore

Can I tell you something?" He tilted his head, moving in closer still, so close that she could feel his breath against her cheek. "Do you want to know what my grandma used to say about kisses on the forehead?"
He pressed his lips to her brow, holding the silk soft kiss for a long moment while Isobel stood in place, unable to bring herself to shove him away.
"She told me it's the kind of kiss we save for the dead. — Kelly Creagh

My father saw him one time. We live in mexico, on the farm, and Father went to feed the horses. At night. Little man was standing there giving hay to the horses. And Father watch and he came and he told Mother, 'Jedushka Di Muvedushka feeding the horses'. He don't get scared, nothing. In the morning we go look, the horses' hair all braided. So Beautiful! All their hair braided. — Bentley Little

My mom called Grandma today and told her we would no longer be attending family parties. My mom told her we have had enough of being blamed for something Brian did and everyone brushing it off like it was no big deal. — Erin Merryn

Never be like these fucking losers who think the deck is stacked against them," my grandma often told me. "You can do anything you want to." Their — J.D. Vance

They knew that life was a struggle, and though the odds were a bit longer for people like them, that fact didn't excuse failure. "Never be like these fucking losers who think the deck is stacked against them," my grandma often told me. "You can do anything you want to." Their community shared this faith, and in the 1950s that faith appeared well founded. — J.D. Vance

Ever since I was a little teen, I was told by my great-grandma that you've got to always have a good moisturizer. I use cocoa butter, and I use it for all things needing moisture - face, hair, throw it on those legs at the beach, get them all shiny. Cocoa butter is such a great product. — Sufe Bradshaw

Grandma told me all about it, Told me so I couldn't doubt it, How she danced, my grandma danced; long ago ... — Mary Mapes Dodge

I'm not certain, but I have a little gypsy blood in me. And my mother always told me that her grandma could give someone the evil eye, and I'd better not cross her because she had some of that blood in her. Mother always believed that she could predict the future, and she had dreams that came true. — Sam Raimi

You sure you don't want to go?" Grandma Mazur asked my mother.
"I didn't know Moogey Bues," my mother told her. "I've got better things to do than to go to a viewing of a perfect stranger."
"I wouldn't go either," Grandma Mazur said, "but I'm helping Stephanie with this here manhunt. Maybe Kenny Mancuso will show up, and Stephanie will need some extra muscle. I was watching Television, and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down."
"She's your responsibility," my mother said to me. "She sticks her fingers in anybody's eyes I'm holding you accountable. — Janet Evanovich

Grandma once told me it's easy to overthink love, to dissect it and question it until it is no more. — Ellen Hopkins

Standing beside Gray in the Fellowship Hall, we watched Grandma Miriam do her socializing exactly like she did last Sunday (and I enjoyed watching it). This proved what Gray had told me that she was born in Mustang and lived her whole life there seeing as she knew every single person in that church. — Kristen Ashley