Mugged Off Quotes & Sayings

So you weren't in college."
"I wasn't, no." She takes another sip. "Your father was though. He was visiting for spring break. I mugged him."
"You what?"
"You have to understand I didn't make very much money, even with two jobs. It hardly even paid for my food. I couldn't fish, because-"
"You didn't want anyone to sense you in the water." Otherwise, she could have been pretty self-sufficient.
She nods. "So one day I see this group of cocky college students, spending money left and right. Pulling wads of cash out of their pockets to pay for small purchases, like ice cream." She rolls her eyes. "They were flashing it. They wanted people to know they were rich."
"Doesn't mean they wanted people to mug them," I mutter. — Anna Banks

Sympathy is why when a man is getting mugged, you let him keep his shirt after you take his life. Funerals are respectable affairs, after all. — Bauvard

Superman's always chasing after someone who just mugged somebody, and I've never seen that happen in my life. — Daniel Clowes

If a conservative is a liberal who's been mugged, a liberal is a conservative who's been arrested. — Tom Wolfe

Ironically, the road to the dark side
most often remains brightly lit,
fancy-colored and all, while the road to the light remains dark until you reach a destination, at which point it becomes a feast for the eyes--provided you haven't gotten mugged during your travels. — Birgit Waldschmidt

At age 13, I was violently mugged at a busy train station. There were dozens of onlookers, but none of them lent a hand ... That was a defining point in that stage of my life. After that, I could never tell myself that it was someone else's problem, or let a situation pass me by if I felt something had to be done. I knew from experience that all too often, no one else would act. — Adrian Lamo

A few years back, they jacked David Copperfield in West Palm Beach, for Chrissake. Yes, it's funny: "Yo, empty your pockets," and he pulls out a bunny rabbit. But it's also depressing. If someone who can make himself disappear isn't safe, who is? — Colin Quinn

Sure. If she gets mugged, she can just flute them to death. — Seanan McGuire

Men don't ask other men if they're getting home OK, they just assume that beneath the frail, weak exterior lurks a muscle-building kung fu master fearless of ever being mugged. — Kate Griffin

It was like watching someone you hate getting mugged: three seconds of hard-core violence, and when it was over you just wanted it to happen again. — David Sedaris

I remember when you could always rely on those little street kids to pop a few people for the latest Nikes," Vice-President John said. "Now people get mugged for Reeboks, for Adidas - for generics, for Christ's sake. — Max Barry

Louise was an urbanite, she preferred the gut-thrilling sound of an emergency siren slicing through the night to the noise of country birds at dawn. Pub brawls, rackety roadworks, mugged tourists, the badlands on a Saturday night - they all made sense, they were all part of the huge, dirty, torn social fabric. There was a war raging out there in the city and she was part of the fight, but the countryside unsettled her because she didn't know who the enemy was. She had always preferred North and South to Wuthering Heights. All that demented running around the moors, identifying yourself with the scenery, not a good role model for a woman. — Kate Atkinson

A conservative is a libertarian who has been mugged. — John Stossel

A liberal is a conservative who hasn't been mugged yet ... — Frank Rizzo

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a Quaker. — Woody Allen

It is one of the truisms of politics that a conservative is often enough a former liberal who has been 'mugged by reality.' — Frank Gaffney

On the other hand, men are sometimes wildly inappropriate in the way they share with women. By a show of hands, how many of you have seen a strange penis on the street? On the subway? At a sleepover? I was once walking with my friend Keri in the middle of the day and some guy asked us for the time. When we looked down at our watches, his dick was in his hands. We giggled and screamed and ran away. We were probably ten. I have been really drunk in high school and had a guy try to fool around with me. I have been called a bitch and a lesbian when I rejected a guy in college. I have locked eyes with various subway masturbators. I have been mugged but not raped, pushed and spit on by someone I knew, and forced to pull over in a road-rage incident where a man stuck his head into my car and told me he was going to "cum in my face." And I count myself very lucky. That is what "very lucky" feels like. Oof. — Amy Poehler

There are no more liberals They've all been mugged. — James Q. Wilson

the "bystander effect": the more people around to provide help, the less likely one is to receive help. Dad hypothesized that this didn't apply to black people, a loving race whose very survival has been dependent on helping one another in times of need. So he made me stand on the busiest intersection in the neighborhood, dollar bills bursting from my pockets, the latest and shiniest electronic gadgetry jammed into my ear canals, a hip-hop heavy gold chain hanging from my neck, and, inexplicably, a set of custom-made carpeted Honda Civic floor mats draped over my forearm like a waiter's towel, and as tears streamed from my eyes, my own father mugged me. He — Paul Beatty

No more tubs for me." I jumped off the bed and pulled on a pair of Pack sweats. "They make me lose all sense."
Curran sprawled on the bed with a big self-satisfied smile. "Want to know a secret?"
"Sure."
"It's not the bathtub, baby."
Well, aren't we smug. I picked up the corner of the lowest mattress and made a show of looking under it.
"What are you looking for?"
"A pea Your Majesty."
"What?"
"You heard me."
I jumped back as he lunged and his fingers missed me by an inch.
"Getting slow in your old age."
"I thought you liked it slow."
A flashback to last night mugged me and my mind executed a full stop.
He laughed. "Ran out of snappy comebacks?"
"Hush. I'm trying to think of one. — Ilona Andrews

On getting mugged: I carry around months and months of receipts. I need a mugger who can file my VAT returns. — Dara O Briain

I am not sure if we are numbed to the reality of rape, but here's the sad irony. While the word rape can add an edginess to your language, talking about actual rape is taboo. I didn't know this until one of my friends was raped. Then I knew this, because I didn't want to tell anyone. If she were mugged, I would have told everyone and raged. — Christine Stockton

By dipping us children in the Bible so often, they hoped, I think, to give our lives a serious tint, and to provide us with quaintly magnificent snatches of prayer to produce as charms while, say, being mugged for our cash or jewels. — Annie Dillard

The penalty for getting mugged in an American city and losing your ID is that you can't fly home. — Christopher Hitchens

All right, here's a limerick: A young martial artist called Dave Was fearless and handsome and brave He saved me from thugs When I nearly got mugged So now I'm forever Dave's slave." There was a short silence. I cringed. "Um, sorry. Came out a bit gay, that one." Bugger, bugger, bugger. — J.L. Merrow

The difference between Las Vegas and Atlantic City is the difference between getting conned by a beautiful call girl and getting mugged by a crack head. — Drew Carey

She was still looking; I could pass as an Indian I thought. I
was part Indian too and that was the precaution I was taking from
getting mugged, a fact which I vehemently fought against back
home and was keen to adopt here. Gosh, I was a rotten hypocrite. — Dixy Gandhi

Sometimes I can still sleep it off, my fear. My dreams are gentle now even when they are about being mugged, robbed and knocked down, even when I am pressing my car key into a bit of yielding earth. But often in the afternoons I wake after a nap with an awful sense of its being over and that it never meant much; I never had a life. The valuable sweetness and the hard work are infected by the fact of death: they no longer seem to have been so wonderful, but they are all I had. And then I want to be comforted. I want my old, unthreatening forms of silence, and comedy-and-cowardice. I want breath and stories and the world. — Harold Brodkey

I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear. — Dana Gould

A conservative is a liberal mugged by reality. — Irving Kristol

Mugged by my own mother. — Rick Riordan

It's rough to be mugged all the time, to have your place broken into all the time. You can buy a building for very little, but then the building has a fire and you have no money, so you have to fix it all yourself. — Francesca DiMattio

There aren't any liberals left in New York. They've all been mugged by now. — James Q. Wilson

I have actually programmed a fair bit in Perl, like I have C++ code published with my name on it. Other things I have tried and have no intention to do again if I can at all avoid it include smoking, getting drunk enough to puke and waste the whole next day with hang-over, breaking a leg in a violent car crash, getting mugged in New York City, or travel with Aeroflot. — Erik Naggum