Moron Quotes & Sayings

I love you," he repeated, shaking her again. "I have for years. But if I asked you to pick, you'd choose Arobynn, and I. Can't. Take. It."
"You're a damned idiot," she breathed grabbing the front of his tunic. "You're a moron and an ass and a damned idiot." He looked like she had hit him. But she went on, and grasped both sides of his face. "Because I'd pick you. — Sarah J. Maas

Get your dirty stinking moron knees off my chest. — J.D. Salinger

You beautiful little moron. — J.D. Salinger

If I were the last person on earth, some moron would turn left in front of me. — Louie Anderson

Macke went to the door. He looked at the three women: the maid, the wife, and the daughter. "All this trouble," he said, "for the sake of an eight-year-old moron. I will never understand you people. — Ken Follett

I couldn't help feeling people thought I was a moron, and my self-imposed insecurity constantly bedeviled me. — Nicholas Brendon

Our civilisation cannot afford to let the censor-moron loose. The censor-moron does not really hate anything but the living and growing human consciousness. — D.H. Lawrence

If you don't vote, you're a moron. — Craig Ferguson

What if she'd turned down the lightly flung invitation and went about her life, thudding obliviously along like a drunk person, a blind person, a moron, someone who thinks that the small packet of happiness she carries is enough. — Meg Wolitzer

I thought you'd be home by now, he said as she neared him. Then he realized how stupid
that comment was since he was standing right in front of her motorcycle.
Der ... He might as well be wearing a sign that said I'm a moron. Please help me remember
where I live. Oh yeah, it's right behind me. -Dev — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Shakra scowled. "You're a moron."
"Being rude does not make you more intelligent that I."
"No, being more intelligent than you makes me more intelligent than you, you goat-brained simpleton."
"I did not come here to be insulted."
"What, do you have somewhere special to go for that kind of thing? — Derek Landy

On Packing My Own Lunch
You have to pack a sandwich. It can't just be cookies and bullshit ... No, I said if you packed it yourself, you could pack it how you want it, not pack it like a moron. — Justin Halpern

I know what falling off the cliff means. I know from being considered a very bright kid to being considered like a moron and dropping out of school. — Walter Dean Myers

The writer must be four people: 1) The nut, the obsede 2) The moron 3) The stylist 4) The critic. 1 supplies the material; 2 lets it come out; 3 is taste; 4 is intelligence. — Susan Sontag

What you do is ultimately pointless. You could be replaced any day of the week with the first moron who walks in the door. So work as little as possible, and spend a little time (not too much, though) 'selling yourself' and 'networking' so that you will have backup and will be untouchable (and untouched) the next time the company is restructured. — Corinne Maier

Michael's babble is delivered with the intensity and cadence of an Obama speech. People are compelled to respond in kind, but then Michael will just look at them like, "That's not what I said at all, you moron." They — Jim Gaffigan

Townsend shrugged. 'With all due respect to the good doctor, I highly suspect he's a moron, — Ally Carter

The correct way to punctuate a sentence that states: "Of course it is none of my business, but
" is to place a period after the word "but." Don't use excessive force in supplying such a moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about. — Robert A. Heinlein

You said sloppy! Look, I didn't even use my sword; I hit him with my head, like a moron. — Ilona Andrews

I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's why I became an actor. — Anthony Hopkins

Hal remained a low-grade moron. — Arthur C. Clarke

Only a heathen brings a gun to a sword fight."
"Only a moron brings a sword to a gunfight. — Derek Landy

Where you worried about me?"
"No, I'm ranting for fun, because I'm a disagreeable bitch!"
He smiled.
"You're a moron!" I told him.
He just looked at me. Happy golden lights danced in his eyes. I'd learned exactly what those sparks meant. Fury fled, replaced by alarm.
"Kiss me and I'll kill you," I warned.
"It might be worth it," he said softly. — Ilona Andrews

The computer, being a mechanical moron, can handle only quantifiable data. — Peter Drucker

You're stupid about a lot of things, Wylan, but you are not stupid. And if I ever hear you call yourself a moron again, I'm going to tell Matthias you tried to kiss Nina. With tongue."
Wylan wiped his nose on his sleeve. "He'll never believe it."
"Then I'll tell Nina you tried to kiss Matthias. With tongue. — Leigh Bardugo

I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. — George Carlin

Maybe I'm getting to the age when I'm starting to be senile or nostalgic or both, but people are so angry now. You used to be able to disagree with people and still be friends. Now you hear these talk shows, and everyone who believes differently from you is a moron and an idiot - both on the Right and the Left. — Clint Eastwood

As an evil cultist, I make an excellent evil cultist. Only I'm stupid, and not evil. And I worship nothing, really. — Will Advise

President Bush is a friend of mine. He's not a moron at all. — Jean Chretien

A person may be a moron or an imbecile if he is lacking in judgment; but with good judgment he can never be either. Indeed the rest of the intellectual faculties seem of little importance in comparison with judgment. — Alfred Binet

I found after seventy years that I was not a lunatic but a moron ... I should have been able to do better. — Ezra Pound

Geniuses don't become geniuses until they find the right moron to compare themselves to. — James McGregor

Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about," Charles Wallace said. "Why should I disillusion them? — Madeleine L'Engle

Yeah, so? I was ignorant, but I'm not a fucking moron. Why would I give the shit to you just so I could buy it back from you later?" I leaned back against the counter. "Hon, you're fucking with the wrong chick. I've been around too many drug dealers to buy into a scheme like that."
He shocked me by bursting out laughing. "Drug dealers? Well, that's an interesting analogy." He shook his head but a sardonic smile stayed on his face. — Diana Rowland

The heart, you moron!" she screeched, clutching at the stake. "It has to be the heart!" "Oh, right, thanks," I said, grabbing another sign. I screamed as I drove it home, aiming more carefully this time. — Molly Harper

Whoever thought a tiny candy bar should be called fun size was a moron. — Glenn Beck

If Edgar Allan Poe were alive today, his agent would be constantly slapping him upside the head with tightly rolled copies of his brilliant short stories and novelettes, yelling, 'Full-length novels, you moron! Pay attention! What's the matter with you
are you shooting heroin or something? Write for the market! No more of this midlength 'Fall of the House of Usher' crap — Dean Koontz

He's a moron," Blomkvist said. Vanger laughed, but he said: "That may be. But he's not the one who was sentenced by the court. — Stieg Larsson

Everyone likes ice cream," he said, white with rage. The mask of patience was slipping, and I don't know how I managed to hold back my tears. "Everyone except you, son, because you're a moron. — Cesar Aira

I think people will be surprised to find that I'm not as much of an idiot as they think I am. I'm not a real moron. — Steve-O

I'm a stubborn moron who doesn't give up! — Tappei Nagatsuki

And contrast Mary Kathleen, if you will, with my wife Ruth, the Ophelia of the death camps, who believed that even the most intelligent human beings were so stupid that they could only make things worse by speaking their minds. It was thinkers, after all, who had set up the death camps. Setting up a death camp, with its railroad sidings and its around-the-clock crematoria, was not something a moron could do. Neither could a moron explain why a death camp was ultimately humane. — Kurt Vonnegut

I'm sure that there must have been times when you have read books or watched films and found yourself secretly wishing for the villain to win. Why? Isn't that against the rules by which our society lives? Why should you feel this way? It's simple, really; the villain is the true hero of these tales, not the well-intentioned moron who somehow foils their diabolical scheme. The villain get's all the best lines, has the best costumes, has unlimited power and wealth- why on earth would anyone not want to be the villain? — Mark Walden

There's a marketing scheme that tells you that pregnancy and child rearing will make you into a moron, that your kids are only happy when you're buying them stuff. It's hard being a parent, but I laugh a lot and smile a lot and really enjoy it. The ratio of laughter to sadness is higher. There's part of me that wants to broadcast that. Parenting only affirmed what I already cared about, and that's good — Dar Williams

My sister Fiona has gone veggie: she won't even eat fish. She's a moron; we live in the west of Ireland with beautiful cows and beautiful fish. She's such a fool; it's like talking to a deaf person to a gig. Anyway there's nothing we can do with her and we've tried. I told her in return for the animals getting somewhere to live so beautiful as the west coast of Ireland we get to eat them, it's a fair deal. God brokered it himself. — James Mylet

On the other side of the spectrum, you see someone like Donald Trump, who is using as the basis of his campaign political incorrectness. It's clearly intentional. He'd have to be a complete moron just to coincidentally insult Mexicans, and women, and disabled people, and Muslims. So clearly he's using it as a vote winner. But I think with comedians there's a responsibility. — Sacha Baron Cohen

I'm a techno moron. I need help just to plug in my video camera. — Libba Bray

The American moron's mind simply does not run in that direction; he wants to keep his Ford, even at the cost of losing the Bill of Rights — H.L. Mencken

All events, no matter how earthshaking or bizarre, are diluted within moments of their occurrence the the continuance of the necessary routines of day-to-day.
-Fitz
Most prisons are of our own making. A man makes his own freedom, too.
-Chade
When you cut pieces out of the truth to avoid looking like a fool, you end up sounding like a moron instead.
-Burrich
We left. Walking uphill and into the wind. That suddenly seemed a metaphor for my whole life.
-Fitz — Robin Hobb

I examined the ten feet I would have to walk alone and remembered my left mind made me a moron. — Ashlan Thomas

These tests, though, were making her feel like a moron. — Max Barry

Far below, I heard Cacus bellowing as millions, maybe even thousands of filthy gallons of water slammed into him. Meanwhile, Annabeth alternately shouted, gagged, hit me, called me endearing pet names like, "Idiot! Stupid
dirty
moron
" and topped it all off with "Kill you! — Rick Riordan

She had me from Hello," I say to Zizzy.
"What's wrong with you dude? She never said Hell. She always welcomes us with blood dripping fangs and a horde of corpses surrounding her." Zizzy protests.
"Monsters have their own way to say Hello, moron. They just need someone to get it, that this is actually hello. — Cameron Jace

I wanted to be the moron of the family, because morons seemed to have more fun, more freedom and more personality. — Alice Sebold

Really? Paul Ryan truly prefers that a narcissistic, ignorant, ungovernable, unqualified, race-baiting, misogynistic moron becomes our next president? — Richard North Patterson

Oh, fuck my life. I'm in love with this moron. — Kay Simone

Must be something in the water," he drawled, directing a subtle wink to her as Crowe's glare deepened.
"There is. Usually the body of the last moron that pissed me off. — Lora Leigh

What moron said that knowledge is power? Knowledge is power only if it doesn't depress you so much that it leaves you in an immobile heap at the end of your bed. — Paula Poundstone

It's an absurdity. An Alpha-decanted, Alpha-conditioned man would go mad if he had to do Epsilon Semi-moron work - go mad, or start smashing things up. — Aldous Huxley

Who was the moron on the phone?"
"Carl Avery," Kate said. "A long-standing client and potential felon. — Jennifer Crusie

This isn't a strength, Aunt True," I said, "but it's dark in here."
"That's because it's nighttime, you moron!" scoffed Danny. — Heather Vogel Frederick

She's my wife. Back off, jarhead," he tossed back over his shoulder. Jared laughed, and it wasn't a mean laugh. Cassie bit back a grin as he stepped back, giving Mitch room to turn around before stepping right back into his personal space. His smile was knowing and totally awesome. "Actually, she's Cassie. She's nobody's wife, because the loser she was married to wasn't smart enough to know just how awesome his wife was when he had her. So if that's you, I'm sorry, bud. And I'm guessing it is, because only a moron who's never served in uniform would call someone a jarhead. You gotta be a Marine to use that term, and only to another Marine. You fail on both points, but try harder next time. — Cora Seton

About the Wi-Fi. Are you blind? Can you read, at all?" He points to a notice in the corner of the coffee shop, which is all about the Starbucks Wi-Fi code. Then he focuses on my dark glasses. "Are you blind? Or just subnormal?" "I'm not blind," I say, my voice trembling. "I was just asking. Sorry to bother you." "Fucking moron," he mutters as he starts tapping again. Tears are welling in my eyes, and as I back away, my legs are wobbly. But my chin is high. I'm determined I'm not going to dissolve. As I get back to the table, I force a kind of rictus grin onto my face. "I did it! — Sophie Kinsella

Morons. I've got morons on my team. — Strother Martin

Don't Cry for this biatch, don't cry for this moron. She isn't your type, she doesn't like you and she won't like you she is just a person which is hypocrite and she get's envy when she see your life - How wonderful is it, how is full with loads stuff and then she looks her life. Full of horror, full of days of nightmare, full of days of angry people shouting each other...
It's not in the blame, it's in the cases, the place where the two persons live!

Don't get angry that he have left you, maybe you will find something better than him, it's a fact you give something for something. Everywhere is like this, don't listen this outside biatches which say "The World isn't a business, it's not you must..." Fucking bullshit, you must do this, somebody saves your life you must go and save and his, that's the rules, that's the law of the attraction, that's how it works, liked or not... — Deyth Banger

A congressman actually apologized to BP's CEO for the way the company has been treated. How stupid are you when the CEO of BP is in the room and people think you're the moron? — Jay Leno

As soon as people enter a theater they must become moron consumers who must be fed information. — Abbas Kiarostami

Just as any moron can destroy a priceless Ming vase, so the shallow and ill-educated people who run our schools can undermine and destroy from within a great civilization that took centuries of dedicated effort to create and maintain. — Thomas Sowell

This is the twenty-first century. The oceans are rising. Mad dictators have access to nuclear weapons. Corporatism and the dumbing down of the media have destroyed the very foundations of democracy. Anyone who isn't afraid is a moron." There — Tommy Wallach

Only morons start a business on a loan? — Mark Cuban

Joey, like an idiot, began clucking and calling to the calf, which only startled it into motion, and it raced off to join its parents.
"Moron," said Avani in a low voice.
"Oh, come on. What's the matter, Canada, did they confiscate your sense of humor at the airport? — Jessica Khoury

Meetings: "They often include at least one moron who inevitably
gets his turn to waste everyone's time
with nonsense". — Jason Fried

What kind of moron wants to be a gladiator? — Kate Quinn

First they didn't believe in evolution. Then they didn't believe in global warming. Now the debt ceiling. What I call 'the moron trifecta.' — Bill Maher

Okay, dumbass. Perspective time," Gordon muttered as he ripped the greasy bag open. He would force himself to eat. He was not going to become an obsessed basketcase. He wasn't.

"First of all," he said, yanking the utensil drawer open." He is capable of murdering a huge juicer in the middle of the street and then disappearing with the body within seconds."

He removed one of the cartons and shoved his fork into the mound of noodles. "Two, he is probably a sociopath. Three, he thinks I'm a complete ballsack of a moron. — Santino Hassell

Do I have to get diapers?" he asked.
"Why, did Kade shit himself?" she laughed.
Dylan huffed loudly. Eyebrows knitted together, "DO I NEED TO GET BOTTLES?"
Jen rolled her eyes and shook her head as if he were crazy, "Don't you think it's too early to start drinking? You just got up ... "
"IS THERE ANYTHING IN YOUR OVEN?"
"I'M NOT BAKING ANYTHING, YOU MORON! WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?"
My God, you have surrounded me with idiots. — Christine Zolendz

I was being a moron again. Of course, he was just saying what needed to be said. — Stormy Smith

P.P.S. AND YOU CAN TALK. "Just say the word." JUST SAY THE WORD? What kind of expression is that? WHAT WORD WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SAY ANYWAY? MORON?
Letter from Emily to Charles. — Jaclyn Moriarty

You want me to marry Paul? But he is a moron and an idiot! He hasn't learned to fight properly, and he can't even read."
The king's smile widened. "I knew you'd like him. — Katharina Gerlach

You're such a little moron, aren't you? They will hunt you down to the ends of the earth. It's nothing personal, just business. It's all about survival, dear boy." Drusilla Blackwood — Kathy Cyr

The strength of the computer lies in its being a logic machine. It does precisely what it is programed to do. This makes it fast and precise. It also makes it a total moron; for logic is essentially stupid. — Peter Drucker

The fire of my tribulations had not simply been pain to be endured. It had been an agent of transformation. After all that I'd been through, I'd changed. Not for the worse, I was pretty sure
at least not yet. But only a moron or a freaking lunatic could have faced the things I had and remained unfazed by them. — Jim Butcher

He said it like he assumed I knew what the grandfather paradox was, because, if I didn't know, then I was a moron. I hate when people do that. — Rick Yancey

When you cut pieces out of the truth to avoid looking like a fool you end up looking like a moron instead. — Robin Hobb

People would be in hysterics if they saw that. It's like, wow, he's a superhuman moron ... So he wears lipstick, has a little bouffant, and does little circus acts as well. Oh, he's so sexy. — Robert Pattinson

That depends. You've got to define 'party girl.' If you mean I'm a walking good time, then hells yeah. But I'm not wasted and stumbling out of clubs and getting DUIs. I'm not that kind of party girl. I may be blonde and fun as balls, but I'm not a moron. — Ke$ha

John Kerry made a joke about Bush being a moron, and now Bush wants morons to think it was a joke was about the troops ... Now, John Kerry has apologized. He said he made a botched joke and admitted that he has a joking problem. He has checked into an improv group and revealed that as a child, he was molested by a clown. — Bill Maher

Sir, the only problem is that you're a complete fucking moron," I said. — Ernest Cline

I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for. — Jasper Carrott

'Cooking Lucky' is a show for guys - or girls - or really for anyone who is all thumbs in the kitchen and needs some help cooking meals that are so incredibly impressive they make it look like you've been slaving in the kitchen all day when in reality, they are so effortless to put together that even a moron can do it. — Eden Riegel

Lucien: And Flowers
but only Anya can call me that.
William: Fine. I'll call you Roses.
Lucien: You won't.
William: I will. Zodiac sign, Roses?
Lucien: First, how does my woman stand you? Second, I don't think I have a sign. I was created rather than born, and I am unsure of the day, much less the month.
William: I'll just mark your sign as "Roses". Choice of weapon, Roses?
Lucien: You are a bastard. But I like knives. I like to get up close and personal with my kills. Care for a demonstration?
William: Later. What are you looking for in a woman, Roses?
Lucien: Why don't I just call you Moron? Anya does ... — Gena Showalter

I think anyone who is famous is a moron if they're on Twitter. It's just stupid. — George Clooney

I'm not a romantic, I'm a half-wit. Only stupid people would think I'm smart. I'm not something anyone should know. I'm a lunatic wandering around for scraps, I'm like every single miserable moron I've scorned and pretended I didn't recognize. I'm all of them, every last ugly thing in a bad last-minute costume. I'm not different, not at all, not different from any other speck of a thing. I'm a blemished blemish, a ruined ruin, a stained wreck so failed I can't see what I used to be. — Daniel Handler

Burrich the Stablemaster, the man who raised me, once warned me, "When you cut pieces from the truth to avoid sounding like a fool, you end up sounding like a moron instead." I — Robin Hobb

There are now unmistakeable signs of a trend in favor of superior products at premium prices. The consumer is not a moron, she is your wife. — David Ogilvy

By Gaia's left breast, Hades, you really are a moron, — Mercedes Lackey

Anybody who's in favor of gun control is a fucking moron. — Jackie Mason

What's amazing about Bayrou, what makes him irreplaceable," Tanneur enthused, "is that he's an utter moron. — Michel Houellebecq

Simplicity itself. Skin, debone, demarrow, scarify, melt, render down and destroy. Every adjective that counted, every verb that moved, every metaphor that weighed more than a mosquito
out! Every simile that would have made sub-moron's mouth twitch
gone! Any aside that explained the two-bit philosophy of a first-rate writer
lost!
Every story slenderized, starved, bluepenciled, leeched and bled white, resembled every other story. Twain read like Poe read Shakespeare read like Dostoevsky read like
in the finale
Edgar Guest. Every word of more than three syllables had been razored. Every image that demanded so much as one instant's attention
shot dead. — Ray Bradbury

He hated it when you called him a moron. All morons hate it when you call them a moron — Jerome Salinger