Morganville Vampires Shane Quotes & Sayings

I think so," she [Claire] said. "Just watch your back, okay?"
"Nah, Michael's got mine." He [Shane] looked straight into her eyes.
"I've got yours. — Rachel Caine

Here. Have a Coke. That's good for a sore throat, right?"
"Good for everything," Shane croaked, and took the extended cold can with good grace. "Thanks."
"You owe me a dollar," Eve said. "I'll add it to the five thousand you already owe me, though."
He blew her a kiss, and she stuck her tongue out at him, and that was the end of the subject, thankfully. — Rachel Caine

Silver nitrate and water in a super soaker," he told her. "My own invention. Ought to be good at twenty feet, kind of like wasp spray."
Oh. "You get me the nicest things."
"Anybody can get jewelry. Posers — Rachel Caine

Claire stretched out against the wall and kissed it. "Glad to see you, too," she whispered, and pressed her cheek against the smooth surface. It almost felt like it hugged her back.
"Dude, it's a house," Shane said from behind her. "Hug somebody who cares. — Rachel Caine

Gear up, Warrior Princess. We've got some adventuring to do. — Rachel Caine

I'm so glad you're okay."
"So, how do we celebrate my okayness? It's my day off. Let's go crazy. Glow-in-the-dark bowling?"
"No"
"I'll let you use the kiddie ball."
"Shut up. I do NOT need the kiddie ball."
"The way you bowl, I think you might."
He grabbed her in an exaggerated formal dance pose and whirled her around, backpack and all, which didn't make her any more graceful.
"Ballroom dancing?"
"Are you INSANE?"
"Hey, girls who tango are hot."
"You think I'm not hot because I don't tango?"
He dropped the act. Shane was a smart boy.
"I think you are too hot for ballroom or bowling. So you tell me. What do you want to do? And don't say study. — Rachel Caine

Damn, there goes my chance for some hot sexy talk. — Rachel Caine

That's it? That's your big goodbye?" Eve asked.
Claire looked at Eve mystified. "I think I need guy CliffNotes."
"Guys aren't deep enough to need CliffNotes."
"What were you waiting for, flowery poetry?" Shane snorted. "I hugged. I'm done. — Rachel Caine

That's not trouble; that's fail. Tell me that isn't all the whites. Like, Michael's and Shane's, too."
"All the whites," Claire said, and held up the guilty red sock. "Yours?"
"Oh, damn." Eve snatched it out of Claire's fingers and shook the sock like a floppy rattle. "Bad sock! Bad! You are never going anywhere fun ever again! — Rachel Caine

Shane kissed her one more time, lightly and softly, and fluffed her hair back from her face. "To be continued," he said.
"I hate cliff-hangers."
"Blame Eve. — Rachel Caine

He was a nice guy, middle-aged, a little tired, like most doctors usually seemed to be, but he just nodded and said,
"Let me take a look at him. Shane?"
"I'm not dropping my pants," Shane said. "I just thought I'd say that up front. — Rachel Caine

Shane: "Score," he said, and raised the crowbar in triumph. "Who's your daddy?"
- Black Dawn — Rachel Caine

Shane was sitting on the curb next to the old, cracked gas pumps, eating a candy bar. Claire plopped down next to him. "Half?" she asked.
"And now I know you're my girlfriend, since you're not afraid to demand community property," he said, and pulled off the uneaten half to hand it over. — Rachel Caine

So, I guess you're there at your new place. Hope it's awesome. If it's not, you'll make it awesome, because that's what you do. It's your superpower. — Rachel Caine

Welcome to Morganville.You'll never want to leave.And even if you do ... well, you can't. Sorry about that. — Rachel Caine

If you ask me if I'm okay again, I'm going to smack myself in the face just to punish you. — Rachel Caine

See?" she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. "She doesn't stomp around like a cattle stampede!"
"Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either! — Rachel Caine

You're kidding. I thought all geniuses read Latin. Isn't that the international language for smart people?-Shane (Glass Houses) — Rachel Caine

I had a good teacher."
"Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass."
"I mean you, dummy. — Rachel Caine

Myrnin said softly. And how is it that you do not understand that HERE, in THIS place, this girl belongs to me, not to you? — Rachel Caine

Ahh ... maybe we should be going," Shane said. "Ditch the shoes, Eve. We'll be running now."
"I love these shoes!"
"More than your circulatory system?"
Eve silently kicked off the stilettos and backed up. — Rachel Caine

Glad it was you and not me," Shane said, and offered Myrin a hand up. "Any brain damage?"
"Since the bullet actually passed through his brain, then yes, idiot boy, there's certainly brain damage," Oliver said. "It will pass. His brain's the least fragile thing about him."
"You say the nicest things," Myrin said. He was slurring his words, and he threw an arm around Oliver's neck. "Marry me. — Rachel Caine

Better be," Eve said. She mock-bit at his finger. "I could totally date somebody else, you know."
"And I could rent out your room."
"And I could put your game console on eBay."
"Hey," Shane protested. "Now you're just being mean. — Rachel Caine

Eve: She told me last!
Shane: Boyfriend!
Michael: Landlord!
Eve: Crap. Right. Next time you sell your soul to the devil, I get first contact! — Rachel Caine

Shane: "Bro," he said, in an injured tone, "I had to go out with a flamethrower, and you weren't there to see it."
Michael: "Pics or it didn't happen."
Shane: "Dude, little busy for pics. You know, throwing flame."
- Black Dawn — Rachel Caine

I can't take the ring. It means - it means too much to you. It's all you have left of them."
"That's why it's better if you have it," he said, and held out the box, cupped in one hand."Because you can make it a better memory. I can barely look at this thing without seeing the past. I don't want to see the past anymore. I want to see the future." He didn't blink, and she felt the breath leave her body. "You're the future, Claire. — Rachel Caine

You know what we call pedestrians in Morganville? Mobile bloodbanks. — Rachel Caine

Hannah leaned against the wall. 'Mind if I call shotgun?'
'Since you're carrying one? Feel free. — Rachel Caine

Stop using him, and start protecting him. I know he thinks he doesn't need it, but sometimes he does. Sometimes we all do. — Rachel Caine

I love it when you talk dirty physics. — Rachel Caine

She was almost at the top of the steps, and Shane was right behind her, when she heard Myrnin say, in a quiet voice that was like the old Myrnin, the one she actually liked,
I'm sorry, Claire.
I never meant - I'm sorry. Sometimes I don't know ... I don't know what I am thinking. I wish ... I wish things could be like they were before. — Rachel Caine

At least you left out the oh-my-God sauce this time."
"Made myself a batch with it," Shane said. "It's got the biohazard sticker on it in the fridge, so don't bitch if you get flamed. — Rachel Caine

Next time we commit crime, we'll make sure to include him. — Rachel Caine

Because Oliver wants you, and what Oliver wants, Oliver gets, right? So get your sweet little butt up already."
"Hey," Shane said, and stood up. "I'm not telling you again, Jase. Stop."
"What, because I said she had a sweet little butt? You don't think she does? Hard to believe, since you spend so much time staring at it. — Rachel Caine

Promise me, Amelie, that you'll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love."
"I hardly think there's any chance of that," Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity. — Rachel Caine

You staked a vampire with a number two pencil."
"I didn't actually check the number."
- Shane Collins and Claire Danvers from Morganville Vampires — Rachel Caine

Hell,' Shane spit in disgust. 'I can't hit a girl. Here, Claire. You hit her.' He tossed her the bat. — Rachel Caine

Great," Shane said. "Look i'd rather not be on janitorial duty. I have allergies to cleaners."
"And to cleaning," Michael said.
"Look who's talking, Didn't the do one of those Animal Planet documentaries about the roaches in your room? — Rachel Caine

Michael rose to his feet and padded down the last few steps silently, came up behind Kim, and leaned over her to say, "I vant to drink your blood" in a heavy, fake-Dracula accent. She shrieked, flailed, and a zombie ate her brains on-screen.
You sabotaged me!" Kim yelled, dropped the controller, and smacked him hard on the chest. "I can't believe you just totally sabotaged me!"
Can't let him lose," Michael said, as Shane hit the high score and the victory music sounded. "Gotta live with the dude."
They high-fived.
You're seriously going to take that as a win," Kim said. "When he totally cheated for you."
Yes," Shane said. "I seriously am. — Rachel Caine

He broke the kiss and leaned against her, breathing hard. Good morning to you, too. Man, I just can't stay mad when you do that. — Rachel Caine

I'll do it!"
"No, you won't," Shane and Michael said, at virtually the same time. Shane continued. "You're barely on your feet, Claire. You don't go anywhere, not without me."
"And me," Michael said.
"Hell," Eve sighed. "I guess that means I have to go, too. Which I may not ever forgive you for, even if I don't die horribly. — Rachel Caine

Stop being so ... "
"Charming?Attractive?Irresistible?
"I'm going with arrogant. — Rachel Caine

Oh hell no. Guys don't talk about that crap."
"You're serious."
"Really."
"What do you talk about?"
Shane looked at her as if she were insane. "You know. Stuff. We're not girls. We don't talk about our feelings. I mean, not to other guys."
Claire rolled her eyes and said, "Fine, be emotionally stunted losers; I don't care. — Rachel Caine

Claire said. "I might be able to get him to stop."
"Who, crazy dude? Maybe. Or he might pull your head off," Shane said. "I kind of worry."
She couldn't help but smile. "Yeah?"
"A little bit."
"That's ... nice."
He studied her, and returned the smile. "Yeah," he said. "Kind of is, actually. — Rachel Caine

Because you've got guy parts, you're automatically a better mechanic than me? I don't think so, Eve said, and bailed out of the passenger side. — Rachel Caine

Michael: 'Hey, remember when I almost didn't let you into the house that first day you came?'
Claire: 'Yep'
Michael: 'Well, I was dead wrong. Maybe I never said that out loud before, but I mean it, Claire. All that's happened since ... we wouldn't have made it. Not me, not Shane, not Eve. Not without you.'
Claire: 'It's not me. It's not! It's us, that's all. We're just better together. We ... take care of each other.'
Shane: 'Stop vamping up my girl, man. She needs coffee.'
Michael: 'Don't we all. Vamping up your girl? Dude. That's low.'
Shane: 'Digging for China. Come on. — Rachel Caine

Hey!" Claire called after him, as she leaned her backpack against the wall.
"No onions!"
"Your loss!"
"I meant for YOU! Not if you want to get kissed tonight!"
"Damn, girl. Harsh. — Rachel Caine

I so want his wardrobe,' Eve sighed. 'Is that shallow, or just strange?'
'Don't sell yourself short. It's both.' Shane said. — Rachel Caine

He lives alone and makes his bed? Who does that? — Rachel Caine

You look like a Goth factory exploded all over you!" he called as she ran down the hall.
"Love you, too, jackass! — Rachel Caine

Shane? Thank God, somebody sane. Well, sane-ish. — Rachel Caine

Now we're in the middle of a three-sided vampire war. Which would be an awesome video game, but I'm really not interested in playing for real. I like my reset buttons. — Rachel Caine

You are just landmark stupid, aren't you? Has Guinness called yet about that world record? — Rachel Caine

Me neither," Shane put in. "Homie don't play that."
"I wonder, sometimes, if your generation speaks English at all," Amelie said. — Rachel Caine

Faster!" Shane yelled. Eve hit the gas hard, and whipped around a slower-moving van. The firing ceased, at least for now. "You see why I didn't want you to stop?"
"Okay, your father is officially off my Christmas list!" Eve yelled. "Oh my God, look at my car! — Rachel Caine

Shane, honey, in Morganville, friends are the only things that keep you alive. — Rachel Caine

They did seem pretty serious about their mayhem. — Rachel Caine

I'm faster than the rest of you, if .. Because I'm a vampire," Michael said, and it was some kind of breakthrough for him to say that. "If you get in trouble, I'll be there."
"Nice," Shane said. "I'm warming up to this bloodsucking thing, Mikey."
"No, you're not."
"Okay, no, I'm not, but right now let's pretend I am. — Rachel Caine

Just wanted to remind you that we're out of milk again. And hot sauce."
"Why are those two always out at the same time? Because those do not go together."
"I suspect Shane. He'd put hot sauce in anything," Michael said. — Rachel Caine

She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he's not ... you know, better."
"Define BETTER with that guy."
"Not all fangs and raaaaar. — Rachel Caine

In real life, you don't get a reset, and you don't get extra lives, and I got the crap pounded out of me. — Rachel Caine

Well, friend, I don't know about your tastes, but I tend to like it very bloody," Myrnin said. He shifted position, dragging Claire along like a rag doll without any effort at all. "Have we been introduced?"
"Probably not. Why, are you asking me out, sweetheart?"
"You're not my type, darling. Is this one yours?"
"No," Frank said, and looked at Shane, just in a quick flicker. "Let's say she's a friend of the family. — Rachel Caine

Amelie said, "I won't be your servant in Morganville. Nor should you be mine. Equals." She offered her hand to him, and he looked down at it, clearly taken aback. But he took it. "Now defend what is ours, my partner."
He grinned ... grinned! ... and whirled to meet Myrnin in midleap as Myrnin attacked. — Rachel Caine

Shane looked ... pale. Pale and shaken and - how predictable was this? - pissed. — Rachel Caine

I guess in my beer-soaked mind it would all just magically work out, and she'd be so happy to see me she'd forget about everything else. Because everybody loves having the drunken self-pitying boyfriend banging on their door at, Jesus, four thirty in the morning. — Rachel Caine

Shane's dad said, "I should have left you in the damn cage to fry, you ungrateful little bastard. You're no son of mine."
"Hallelujah," Shane said softly. Free at last. — Rachel Caine

Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. Hey, Dark Princess? Here's your crap. Also, bite me. — Rachel Caine

When I want to be lectured on strategy, I'll consult someone who's actually won battles,' Amelie said. 'Not one who ran away from them.'
'Snap,' Eve said.
'You know what they're talking about?' Shane asked.
'Don't need to know to get that one. She smacked him so hard his momma felt it. — Rachel Caine

She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose.
When she reached for it, Shane snatched it back. 'Nuh-uh. Mine.'
'Share!' she demanded.
'Man, you are one grabby girlfriend.'
She grinned. It always made her feel so fiercly warm inside to hear him say that- the girlfriend part, not the grabby part.
'If you love me, you'll give me a taco.'
'Seriously? That's all you got? What about you'll do sexy, illegal things to me for a taco?'
'Not for a taco,' she said. 'I'm not cheap.'
'They're brisket tacos.'
'Now you're talking. — Rachel Caine

Oh, come on, just this once," Eve said. "Protects your neck. As in your arteries and veins?
That's kind of crucial, right?"
"Thanks for the thought, but it doesn't go with my shoes."
"You're seriously going to worry about what people think right now?"
"No, I'm worrying about people taking pictures and putting them on Facebook. That crap never dies. Kind of like you, Mikey."
Michael, straight-faced, said, "He's got a point, because I would definitely take pictures. So would you."
Eve had to grin. "Yeah, I would. Okay, then. But you'd look glam. I could fix you up with silver eye shadow to match. — Rachel Caine

He's not doing anything he shouldn't be doing, right?"
"Like what?"
"Like hitting on you."
"Ew. No, of course not. He doesn't see me that way."
Michael shook his head and went back to his coffee.
"What? You think he does?"
"Sometimes he looks at you a little ... oddly, that's all. Maybe you're right. Maybe he just wants you for your blood."
"Again, Ew! What's with you this morning?"
"Not enough coffee. — Rachel Caine

Shane sat like a statue if a statue wore headphones and radiated angry coiled tension that made hair stand up on a person's arms. She felt like she was sitting next to an unexploded bomb, and given all of the physics she'd had, she understood what that meant. Talk about potential energy. — Rachel Caine

No, not you two. Stay here.'
'Does he just not get how unfair and sexist that is?' Eve asked. 'Men.'
'You really want to go first?'
'Of course no. But I'd like the chance to refuse to go first. — Rachel Caine

And then I heard the ring of metal on concrete, and I went cold, because one of them had found a piece of rebar lying around, and I knew with sudden certainty that these guys were going to kill me right here on this stupid sidewalk, for nothing, without even the reason of knowing my name or hating my politics. They were just going to kill me because they needed to kill something, and I was handy.
At least zombies would have had a reason. — Rachel Caine

Why?" Eve asked between breathless pants. she wasn't much of a runner either.
"Someone's coming" Shane said. "Shhhh."
Eve choked and strangled on a cough, and muttered "got to cut down on the cigarettes."
"you don't smoke," Claire whispered.
"then i'm completely screwed. — Rachel Caine

Claire. Wake up. She blinked and realized that her head was on Shane's shoulder, and Michael was nowhere to be seen. Her first thought was, Oh my God, am I drooling? Her second was that she hadn't realized she was so close to him, snuggled in. Her third was that although Michael's part of the couch was empty, Shane hadn't moved away. And he was watching her with warm, friendly eyes. Oh. Oh, wow, that was nice. — Rachel Caine

Who's your daddy?'
Myrnin stared at him as if he'd gone completely mental. 'Excuse me? — Rachel Caine

I never did have much, so having it rough came with the territory. I was conditioned for it. — Rachel Caine

How'd you get to be so good at this?"
"I had a good teacher."
"Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass."
"I mean you, dummy."
"Oh. — Rachel Caine

Claire hated to say it, but she knew the answer, in her heart. "Because he feels something for me, and he wanted to give me a chance to live. Like him. With him. But I refused."
Shane turned and looked at her, a blank expression on his face that turned quickly into ... something else. Claire was glad Myrnin had gotten out while he still could. "Great," he said. "I knew it."
"It's not like that. He's - " She shook her head in frustration. "It's not like he's in love with me or anything; it's more complicated than that. I don't even think he understands it, exactly."
"Yeah, he only loves you for your mind," Shane said ... — Rachel Caine

Happy birthday," she said. "And next time? Eat the stupid cupcake. — Rachel Caine

Look, I hate good-byes, too. But sometimes, we need them just to survive. — Rachel Caine

Anybody else think that was weird?' Shane asked as they got into the car. Eve sent him an exasperated glance; the three of them were, of course, in the backseat. Amelie had the front, with Michael.
'Ya think? In general, or in particular?'
'Weird that we got through the entire thing, and I didn't have to hit anybody.'
There was a moment of silence. Michael said, as he started the car, 'You're right, Shane. That is strange. — Rachel Caine

Bite me, Goth princess," Shane called from the back. "Not literally or anything."
"Maybe you should say that to Michael."
"Not funny, Eve," Michael said.
Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. "Little bit," she said. — Rachel Caine

Eve hugged her, hard. "It's beautiful," she said. "What happened to the old frosting?"
Shane, sitting at the table, raised his hand. "Took one for the team."
"Jesus, you ate it? All of it?"
"Nah." He held up the bowl that was sitting in front of him. There was still about half a cup left. "Couldn't finish it all."
Eve blinked and looked at Claire, who shrugged and said, "I always thought he was sweet. — Rachel Caine